Monday, April 15, 2013
Monkey Madness Monday: I'm online dating again
I sound like a total bitch in my profile. But much like the publishing world, in the dating world, I've become a bit jaded. I don't want to drive 30 minutes to go on a date. I don't want to date a guy with a dog. I don't want to date a guy with little kids when mine are a couple years to being out of the house. I don't want to date a guy looking for a bride when I'm not sure I ever want to get married again.
When Plenty of Fish puts my matches on the screen I say "Dafuq?" What the hell are they thinking? Do they even read my parameters?
And they ask if I'd date a guy who smokes or does drugs, but I think they should ask if I'd date a guy with pets, or body odor, or halitosis, or who swears socks with sandals.
And there are people who don't put pics of themselves on their profiles. They put pictures of their dogs (automatic "no" for me), or sunsets, or no pic at all. Now how the hell am I supposed to know if I want to date you if I don't even know what you look like? I mean, looks aren't every think I know, but there has to be some kind of physical attraction? I tell them I want something between all american boy and quasimodo.
And honestly, I don't think they even read my profile. Because when they write me and I look at their profiles it's like um, lives more than 10 miles away - check. Dog - check. Small children - check. Tries to IM me (which I say on my profile I won't do) - check.
I do have a guy I've been texting. And he does seem to be Mr. Right Now, which is what I'm looking for. I don't want a relationship, I just want to date. I don't want to feel like a cat lady (I don't have cats). I need some Megan time, some Megan + kid time, some writing time, some get healthy and fit time.
With only a little date time on the side, but one to my liking.
My Dad. He's awesome.
John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney