Friday, September 6, 2013

Response to: FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

I know, there have been a million responses already, and I'm about a day behind, but as the mother of two teenage girls, I felt I had to respond.

I understand some of what Mrs. Hall is saying. I do. I just don't agree with it.

I think it's fine that the Hall parents monitor what their children do online. It's very smart. However, where is the trust in the parent/child relationship? At what point do you let your children use their best judgment as to who they can and cannot be Facebook friends with? When do you stop censoring every little thing they do?

If she's taught her boys to respect females, she shouldn't have to worry, right? Okay, no. Why? Because no matter how much they respect them, they will still look at them at a sexual way if they are a red-blooded, heterosexual teenage boy. 

Scantily clothed. Fully clothed. Nude. It doesn't matter. That's how it works.
Even the Biebs does it.

Boys do the same thing BTW. Have you seen all the bathroom, shirtless pics they post? Are you going to write this same letter to those boys when your daughter is a teenager?

Look, my daughter and her friends are barely dressed in this pic below. You could even say that the one on the right is posing suggestively.

Would the Hall boys be able to be friends with these girls? Or would they be blocked by their parents? I mean, the Hall boys may look at them in a sexual way, right?

And then of course we have the double standard of her own boys in bathing suits flexing their muscles on the beach in the pictures she chose to post on that particular blog. 

Pictures she has since changed. 

Does she not think that a teenage girl would look at that and drool a little? After all, her boys are handsome, shirtless, and flexing.

Okay, admittedly, I really don't appreciate boys/men with their shirts off in front of the mirror, and don't think young girls should be seductively half naked in their Facebook pics. I think parents should teach their children what is and what is not acceptable

Kim K.
Does Mrs. Hall let her boys watch TV? Movies? Listen to music? Play video games? Read magazines? Media has been teaching children for decades how they should look and behave. This is learned behavior from sources beyond our control. Even if you temper media at home, you'll never be able to keep your children from it completely, especially in these days where Google is a god.

When my girls first got their Facebook pages I told them not to friend anyone they don't know and that I would not censor them unless I felt what they posted was way out of control. I did tell them that they need to think about what they post, who will see it, what it might affect, and then to use their best judgment.

And I would never block someone from their Facebook. I can imply and suggest, but they can decide who needs to be blocked. I trust their judgment because I've taught them well.

And in this day and age of self esteem problems, obesity, self harm and eating disorders, is it so wrong for a teenage girl to be confident in her looks and her body.  To feel pretty. I think it's empowering, as long as she respects herself, and that is something they need to learn from their parents.

 Teenagers have bigger problems these days. Bullying, violence, alcohol, drugs, grades...

...scantily clad co-eds isn't one.

Just my two cents on this Friday.
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John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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