Wednesday, December 17, 2014

4 ways, as a woman, you are destroying women's rights.

This is my response to the article 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage. I blogged about it yesterday too because I think it is such utter bullshit I can't help but blog about it again. While this blog is about that, it also transcends that though. It's about women who fight against women's rights, sometimes unknowingly, sometimes with purpose. Let's know turn the clock back, let's move forward and become the women we were meant to be, strong, powerful and equal to men.

So here are

1. You write articles that set us back 50 years. Whether we are working mothers or stay at home mothers what we do is important and difficult. I know as I've done them both. So, tell me, why is it automatically the wife's job to cook dinner when she's worked all day too? And tell me, is cooking, cleaning, doing all the grocery shopping, running errands and tending to all the children's needs not as important as the work our spouses do?

No matter if you are a single mom or married, it is hard to raise a family. I know, because I've also done both. Also, we should be in relationships in which we are equal partners. We should not need to coddle, pander to or be submissive to our husbands, boyfriends or significant others. I am not June Cleaver, Donna Reed or  Harriet Nelson. I am SuperMom, BadAss Mom, who does it all and will second to no one in my household. If I'm not an equal, I am gone.

2. You equate feminism to misandry. Specifically I am talking about the group Women Against Feminism (WAF). They post pictures of themselves with posterboard signs stating things like, I don't need feminism because...:

"Because I enjoy being feminine" "If every man is a potential rapist, so is every woman"  "My husband loves and respects me" "I always enjoy making sandwiches"

There are so many more. Let me see here. Not all feminists are butchy. Yes, women can be rapists, but the majority are men. I'm sure many feminists have husbands that love and respect them. And wow, go make a fucking sandwich then. And come one, the whole sandwich thing has gone too far and there are groups of men out there that are sick and post disgusting "humor" out there such as the meme below.



This is what feminists are against. Not making a damn sandwich.

But if you are for...
  • Women earning equal pay for equal work.
  • Being able to decide what you do with your own body.
  • Being able to pursue any kind of career you like, even if it's physically demanding.
  • Wearing whatever you like without it being seen as an invitation to be raped.
  • Not being fired for being pregnant.
  • Not being passed over for promotions because there is the possibility that you may become pregnant.
  • Your little girl being able to play any sport she wants, be it football, wrestling, or whatever. 
  • Not being sexually harassed at the workplace.
...then you already are a feminist because this is what true feminists are working towards. Yes, there are some bad apples in the bunch, and some of them are vocal, but you find that everywhere in every social and political group. 

But WAF believes we don't get equal pay because of the jobs we take (what about the ones that are the same?) and that alcohol fueled sexual mistakes are mistakenly equated to assault (which may be true in some cases, but not all, probably not many and it actually disgusts me that a woman would think that about another woman).

I consider myself a feminist and I enjoy being feminine and I LOVE men, and sure, I even like catering to a significant other sometimes, but not all the time. Again, I want to be treated with respect and equality and frankly, there are still a lot of misogynists in the world. Maybe the man haters are sometimes more vocal than true feminist and it's time to take back the name, but the cause of WAF is not the way to go. 

3. You pretend your politics protect my rights.
  • Concerned Women for America, for example, contends that abortions lead to depression, anxiety, and breast cancer. The American Psychological Association reported in 2008 that "the relative risks of mental health problems are no greater than the risks among women who deliver an unplanned pregnancy." And according to the American Cancer Society "Scientific research studies have not found a cause-and-effect relationship between abortion and breast cancer."
  • In opposition to gun control, Gayle Trotter of the Independent Women’s Forum testified that guns reverse the gender “balance of power in a violent confrontation. Armed with a gun, a woman can even have the advantage over a violent attacker. "An armed woman does not need superior strength or the proximity of a hand -to-hand struggle.” How about taking self defense classes to learn how to disarm someone instead? I would rather do that than carry a gun. What if the violent attacker disarms you? Then what?
  • The Independent Women’s Forum challenges the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. It opposes the law, because they think funding isn't used to address “proven causes of violence" such as substance abuse, psychological disorders, and marital instability." They don't believe that sexism could be a possible root cause of domestic violence. 
4. You are a woman who has joined The Red Pill. If you don't know what The Red Pill is, this is a tiny summary according to the site on Reddit: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

I tend to disagree with this summary. I think The Daily Dot got it right. "The forum is a trove of horror stories disguised as men trying to “better” themselves. While there are plenty of posts about becoming the sort of guy women want to be around,” most members of the subreddit must have a delusional image of what that means"..."this section of Reddit (or subreddit) is one of its darkest corners, populated by rape apologists, revenge-porn enthusiasts, and those who would justify domestic abuse." I have read some of the stuff on there, and that's exactly what much of it is.

Feminism is not a bad word. If you think it is, you have no idea what it truly means. We do not seek special rights or superiority. Yes, as I said there are those who spoil the bunch. If you're working for women's rights and equality though, you are a feminist. If you're doing any of the things above? Not so much. Rethink what you're doing in the name of women and in the name of your rights as a woman. Don't set us back, move us forward. There are men who support the cause of equal rights and women's issues as well. Do your homework, do your research and make informed decisions.


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John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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