Monday, December 8, 2014

Reserving judgment

I'm truly getting sick of people and their judgmental attitudes. It's one thing to give someone a little hell for some bad behavior. But then there's this guy. Go ahead, go look. I'll wait here.

Yeah, that guy. The guy hanging out with his kids. He's playing video games. One daughter is painting his toe nails, the other daughter seems completely fascinated with what he's doing.

But for some people it's not enough that this dad is hanging out with his girls, chillin'.  No. He should be engaging. He should be paying them attention. He's ignoring them?!?

I'm sorry, how the fuck do you know what goes on in their home by one picture? And from where I'm sitting, it looks like everyone is having a damn good time. He's cuddled up next to one child, he's got a fun girlcentric coffee table that those daughter's (and maybe with his help) obviously decorated, the house is decorated for Christmas. Who the hell are you to judge? He's a guy spending time with his kids. He didn't tell them to leave him alone. He's not out with the guys at the bar.

I never played with my kids. Playing wasn't my thing. I read to them, colored with them, watched movies with them, talked to them. I stayed in the room and watched them play and engaged with them. Does that make me a horrible mom? I never joined the PTA.  Am I bad now? My girls and I are tight. They have always been well behaved. Never through tantrums in public. But no, I didn't play "with" them. That doesn't mean there wasn't some kind of bonding happening or involvement taking place.

Get off your high horse and get over yourself.

And truly, just stop being so judgmental period. That article, that dad, and my own situations remind me that it's easy to judge and pontificate, it's more difficult to try to open your mind and heart.

I need to stop and think before I so quickly jump onto a soapbox. There are people out there fighting battles we know nothing about, going through torments we don't understand, or reeling from with something they find hard to express or explain. I, we, the human race, especially this time of year need to find it in us to feel compassion, realize tolerance, and find forgiveness.

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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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