Saturday, February 14, 2015

Love is in the air

For some of you, I guess. Not me. I've not had a boyfriend in over six months now. Yes. I think that could be a record folks. None of them were ever the right fit, I suppose. Well, I thought one was, but he had other ideas.

Why don't any of them work? Here's the thing with me...I'm a very passionate person. I believe in love. I want to be in love again some day. When I meet someone and fall for them, I fall hard and fast. Probably too fast, and most of them seem to be the same way. So you get two people jumping into a committed relationship at break neck speed and what do you get? A break up.

I've learned that if I want to find the "one," I need to take my time. I need to be patient. Things that look good on the outside, or initially, usually end up being not quite what you expected, or not quite what you truly want. (okay, me. I'm talking about me)

So what am I looking for? I suppose since I was married for close to two decades and have dated a lot, I have figured out what works and what doesn't work for me. These are some of the things I'm looking for...

  • A nice face. It doesn't have to be a supermodel face, just a pleasant one with a nice smile.
  • A sense of humor. If I can't laugh at you, or near you, you're no good to me.
  • Brains. Not in the zombie sense, but Jesus, please be able to carry on a conversation.
  • Job, car, home of your own. Be able to support yourself, drive yourself and either don't live with mom, or make it so I'm able to kick you out of my house if I need some alone time.
  • Promptness. A little late is fine, but seriously, anything past 15 minutes is agro.
  • Your pets...I used to not want to date someone with pets, but soon realized that cut the dating pool down by like 75% So if you have pets, keep them clean, keep your house vacuumed and try not to let it lick me, jump on me, or sniff my crotch or butt. Big turn off, plus, allergies. And if it gets far enough that I'm sleeping over, I do not want to share you or your bed with your animal.
  • I used to want to not date anyone with kids under the age of 12. I mean, my kids are nearly adults and I don't need babysitters or to find care for them if I want to skip town (the latter is the same way I feel about pets). I'm flexible on the age thing now. Depends on the kid and the parent. If your kid is a brat, more than likely, our parenting skills may not mesh and I won't like your kids and I'll be out of there before I can say, let me get my coat.
  • Don't be cheap. I like to go out. I'm not saying you have to pay every time, I'm perfectly fine with paying 50% of the time (when I have a job, I just lost mine, but I intend to be back to work asap). So, you take me out, I'll take you out.
  • Be an equal partner. I'm not to be controlled. I'm not to do your bidding (babysitting, housework, laundry, etc.) These things are a joint venture.
  • Give me my space. I'm in my 40s and have been divorced now for nearly 5 years. I like time to write, exercise, binge watch shit on Netflix, go out with the girls, go for girl weekends...you will not always be invited. Have a hobby and friends so you can do your thing while I'm doing mine.
  • Embrace the "F" word because you will hear it come from my mouth.
  • Don't force your religion on me. I don't do religion.
That's about it. That's not too high maintenance, is it? Maybe it will happen some day, or maybe I'll become a crazy cat lady. Who knows?

Tell me what you want in a person.

Okay, gotta go. Spending Valentines with two chicks and some lobster tail.

Happy Valentines Day. Stay safe.
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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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