Thursday, April 24, 2014

Ronald McDonald will never be cool

I'm in marketing. I'm sure you know that if you've read me for awhile. And well, I'm a writer and we have to be in marketing. But my day job is also in marketing. One of my Facebook friends posted the dumbest thing I've seen in marketing in awhile. Ronald McDonald's Millennial Makeover.

The new Ronald McDonald will be wearing yellow cargo pants.

The new Ronald McDonald will be wearing a spiffy yellow vest with red piping.

The new Ronald McDonald will be wearing a white and red striped rugby shirt.


There is still some things seriously wrong with this picture.

Ronald McDonald is still wearing yellow with red piping.

Ronald McDonald's name is still Ronald McDonald.

Ronald McDonald's hair is still an unnatural color of red.

Ronald McDonald has unusually large feet.

Ronald McDonald is a clown.

Maybe instead of changing Ronald McDonald's wardrobe you should just go ahead and change Ronald McDonald. Does anyone really like him anyway? No one really likes clowns, do they?

Here is the original picture from the announcement.

First maybe we should change the color of his outfit because...well...I've done a lot of research on color one likes the color yellow.

How about a nice blue. Everyone's favorite color is blue.

Okay, that's a little better, but his hands and feet are still freakish. I think we should update them and make them a little more normal. What do you think?

Yeah, I know, the shoes are cool, he's got regular hands, but he's still a freaky ass clown. Hmmmm...Okay, can't he be a good looking red head, like one of these below?

And since we're giving him a full blown make over, the name Ronald McDonald isn't cool. How about Finn Flanagan or Brady Burns or Cody Collins.

Now I would buy a burger and fries from these guys even if their clothes were still a little "off." What about you?

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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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