Writing Wednesday : A Tattered Life

Well I'm up to about 5600 words in this book. It's coming slow, but I've not had a lot of writing time lately. I will now, as I once again have more writing time on my hands. I'm liking this MS, though I find it a challenge to write from the alternating perspectives of a journal writer then the reader 8 months later. But I'm always up for a challenge. :) 

 Setting this scene, Jaden is waiting for Payton out in his truck. He's read more of the journal, and about the "white trash" girl's life, and he sees similarities between her and Payton and starts to worry...

I slide into the truck and pull the notebook out of my bag. Flipping through the pages, I try to find where I left off. Just as I get to the right page, I jump, startled by a loud knock on my passenger window.  I look up and Payton’s standing there, shaking her head, rolling her eyes and motioning for me to unlock her door.

“Jesus, you scared me to death.”

“That was my intention,” she says looking at me strangely, like she’s seeing something new about me. “What are you reading? You looked, well, engrossed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that interested in something before, aside from football and cheerleaders, that is.”

I shove the notebook back in my bag and throw it behind the seat.  “I have interests beyond football you know?”

Now she looks at me like I’m mad as a hatter. “Oh, you do, do you? And what might those be?”

Staring into her eyes, I pull a classic Jaden move. “You.” Her breath catches and I scoot closer to her, caress her cheek and move in for a kiss.

Unexpectedly, she shoves me away. “Not here! Are you crazy? We’ll be seen.”

She’s right. I don’t know what got into me. I’ve never been that flagrant with our relationship. If anything, I’m beyond paranoid, always looking over my shoulder, careful not to be seen by anyone, especially Ava. I don’t say a word; I just scoot back, turn the key in the ignition and head to our spot.

We pull in and draw near each other. My hands immediately heads under Payton’s shirt, hers clasp the back of my neck. We lean in and our tongues find one another, dancing, and swirling in the other’s mouth. My mind starts to race, but not like it usually does to things like the color of Payton’s panties and how fast I can get her bra off. No, today it travels to the girl in the notebook and her secret rendezvous with Noah. I push Payton away.

Confused look on her face she says, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

I don’t really know what, if anything, is wrong. My mind just keeps going back to those last two entries. I have questions. “Nothin’. Nothin’s wrong.” I grab her hand in mine. It’s not like Ava’s, soft and smooth like milk. It’s firm, a little rough around the edges like her, but nice —and warm. “Our relationship—”

“Relationship?” Her brows are furrowed.

“You know what I mean. This thing we have, you know it’s just for fun, right? That it’s just what it is or what it will ever be.”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” She sounds pissed.

“What I mean is, I’m with Ava, you understand that, right?”

She pulls her hand away from mine. “Jesus, Jaden, you think I’m an idiot?”

“No. I’m sorry. I just wanted things to be clear between us.”

Slamming up against the bucket seat she says, “It’s crystal.”

I lean over to her and whisper, “Sorry, babe.” I kiss her ear, her neck, make my way down her chest when another thought hits me. I sit back.

“Now what?”

“Your step dad — you guys get along okay?”

“What? Are you writing a book? Yeah, we get along fine.”

I look in her eyes; try to tell if she’s lying. “He doesn’t like, uh, you know—” she stares at me expectantly, shaking her head, waiting for me to finish. “He doesn’t hurt you does he? Touch you?”

At first, she looks pissed, but then her expression softens.  She reaches up and cups my cheek in her hand. “Jaden…,” she says so soft I can barely hear her, “…you’ve been watching too many movies.” Then she giggles, throws her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek and I feel relief. So much relief that I get choked up and I grab her and hold her tight. I don’t want her to see me like that, so I just keep holding her and I let her kiss my neck and the side of my face and wherever she wants until is subsides.