The Low Tech Experiment Revisited

At the beginning of last month, I made a conscious choice to go low tech, meaning, getting off Facebook and removing a number of apps from my phone. Here I am, giving you an update of how things are going.

Facebook was the first casualty of this experiment. I left Facebook because, drama. I also took the Facebook app from my phone.

If you read my last "low tech" blog, you know that as a business owner, I realized in this day and age it was impossible to not be on Facebook.  Instead of reopening my personal profile, I created a new one, strictly to run my business dealings, however, that didn't erase the drama. So, I went back to my old account and kindly asked mutual friends to please, keep me blissfully ignorant of the other party's posts.

That has been working.

I did put the app back on my phone as well because honestly, I like staying connected both with my friends and my business. I have made a conscious effort to not spend too much time on Facebook on my phone unless I have no motivation to do anything else. Like during the snow. And last night.

So, while I'm back on social media, I've successfully avoided drama.

Then to become more productive, I removed all games from my phone. I thought about all the things I could do if I weren't playing games, especially one addicting game in particular.  I figured I would read more, write again, exercise, anything to stimulate my brain and nurture my health.

This was harder than I thought it would be. I have found myself uploading it and removing the one game again several times, mostly out of complete boredom and lack of motivation. I relied on it heavily while I was snowed in, as I really didn't have the energy or the brain power to do much of anything else.

That said, I'm still using my time more productively. What I've been doing:

• Writing
• Purging crap out of my home
• Reading
• Exercising
• Making jewelry

I'm still working on becoming even more low tech. I still debate whether I should keep the Facebook app on my phone or not. I think I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). Completely irrational, I know.

I'm hoping by eliminating these time and soul sucking forces from my life and doing things to keep my mind and body active, I will:

• Improve my own health
• Combat this 8 year battle with chronic fatigue
• Eliminate my brain fog
• Lose weight
• Write more
• Paint more
• Create more jewelry. 

I want to feel good and to contribute beauty to this world. I truly believe that being less reliant on technology and more reliant on me will help me achieve this.

The Low Tech Experiment

First of all, I haven't done this in a while, so let me start by saying, "Hi! Welcome to my blog."

It's been a almost a year since I blogged. And last year, I only blogged a couple times. It's because - life. My life has changed so much in the last few years.

But that's neither here nor there.

Well, kind of. Part of the reason I'm here writing is because of my choice to shut down some of my apps. I have many reasons to have done so.

Let me say that this is not a resolution post. I think I'm done with resolutions. I'd rather set some achievable short term goals and see how that works out.

So anyway, the reasons I'm shutting some shit down...first, to remove myself from drama. Facebook was the first casualty. After a bad work/romantic relationship failed and I found myself the butt of much bullying and harassment,  I decided to shut down my personal Facebook account. I had already blocked that person, but friends would send me screenshots of all the awful things he would say about me. While I appreciated that, I also came to a point in which I just didn't want to see it anymore. I wanted to be blissfully ignorant of what he was saying about me.

So, no more Facebook. I deactivated my account for an indefinite period of time and also deactivated the app from my phone.

Once I did that, I decided to take it a step further. I'd become reliant on game apps to fill my time when I was bored, on a work break, winding down from work, before bed, when I woke up on the more...you get the idea. So I deleted them all. Every game app on my phone. My end goal: read more, write more...find other more stimulating things to bide my time. Expand my mind. No more monkey pushing a button (though you know I LOVE monkeys).

Now I have all this free time and need to reinvent what I do with myself during my lull times. In the morning after coffee I've started doing yoga. I've heard yoga is great for chronic pain and bringing one peace. So far I feel like a monkey trying to fuck a football doing the poses (yes, another monkey reference, but an apropos one). Hence why I do it in the privacy of my own home. But in just a couple days I already feel a little more mobility in my limbs, a little serenity in my soul.

It's weird how dependent we become. After deactivating Facebook, I realized I can't access my business page, I can't access the events to which I'd been invited. There were groups I wanted to continue accessing...long story short, I created a profile just to participate in those things. I'm sure it's all part of Mark Zuckerberg's evil plan - that we should be dependent on his app.

I've figured out a few ways to keep up with my business and such. Mostly, when I'm just sitting around, or waking up in the morning...those are the times I'm finding myself a little lost. But, I've started reading a book I've been wanting to for awhile (shout out to Gae Polisner and In Sight of Stars). I've caught up on some magazines. I'm writing this blog. I wish to get back to writing my dystopian novel. I want to create and work more with my hands.

Will I last the 30 days I've allotted myself? I don't know, but I hope so. Longer would be nice. I'm also planning  to not reload any games or other soul sucking apps back onto my phone.And mostly, I simply plan of being a more healthy, productive and intellectual person.

Have you set any short term goals for yourself? I'd love to hear them.

Resolutions for 2016

I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, but I do like to take some time at the end (or very beginning) of a year and map out some goals for myself.  I also like to re-evaluate the goals I made the previous year and see how I held up.

If you read my blog yesterday, you will know that 2015 wasn't the easiest year for me. Of course, the last few have been a struggle. Even so, I am always hopeful that the next year will be a better one full of endless possibilities and worthwhile challenges.

Let's go over last year's goals and achievements, and plans for 2016.

Work:
Last year: Continuing in my business plans. A friend and I, after we lost our jobs, began a business

venture. It hasn't sucked, but it isn't mapping out like I expected. There's nothing wrong with that though. She found full time work, and I have been doing contract work in both writing and marketing, plus, I have a job back at the family wine shop. All is good on that front.

2016: I love all the work I do and plan to continue all of it. However, I am placing heavy focus on the wine shop. I will be working there more come next week and eventually taking over. My plan is to buy the place. It is a fun place to work with so much potential. My goal is to make it a success.

Writing:
Last year: My goal was to write more. I'm pretty much still working on the same stuff I was last year. Though I appear to be at a standstill, I'm not discouraged. I know I will finish one of these books. All of these books. Some of these books. It may not be this year, but it will be someday. Someday is a hopeful word. It's not never. And though I didn't write as much as I may have wanted to, I did write. I worked on the old and I started something new.
2016: I will more than likely continue in the same vein. I mean, I'd like to write more, and maybe I will. But I am not going to set myself up for failure. I have prioritized some projects, and that will help to reach some of my writing goals.

Relationships:
Last year: Didn't look for love. At all. That was one of my goals. If it were to find me, that would have been fine, but I didn't go out of my way to track it down. At times my world is a lonely place, without a significant other, but I have my family, good friends, and my amazing daughters to keep my occupied. And thank god I have no cats.
2016: Still not going to look. If it falls in my lap, fine. Truth be told, I'm not sure I'm in a place that I could even have a relationship if I wanted to. And I'm ever so picky. Not about looks or money or whatnot. My set of ideals centers around kids, pets, freedom, and aspirations.

Health:
Last year: Since I'd been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and/or Adrenal Fatigue,
my goal was to do what it takes to get better. That was a struggle. Adrenal fatigue's main cause is stress. With the overwhelming amount of stress I felt last year, getting better was near impossible. I did have good  days, but when times were very stressful, it was hard to function. I had a naturopath to help me, but when I lost my job, my new insurance didn't cover it and I could not afford it out of pocket.
2016: I want to feel better. I know there are ways I can. I need to try to eliminate as much stress as possible from my life. For a time I ate clean and it made me feel better. I'd like to eat as clean as possible. I bought a new bed, which helps with sleep. I need to follow cues I get from my body with regard as to what to eat, drink, to take a nap if I need to, to ask for help, take time off...My goal is to get my mind, body and spirit in alignment this year. I've purchased some books to help me with this goal.

Exercise:
Last year: With CFS, exercise is really hard. I was taking a kickboxing class when I first starting feeling its effects. It became so hard I quit. However, I did end up joining a gym last year. Did I go? Yes, at first. Then sporadically. Then when the CFS worsened toward the middle of the year, hardly at all.
2016: I'm back at the gym. I do cardio and strength training. I cannot yet participate in classes because it's too hard on my body. One day of overdoing it and I am in bed for half a week. So I'm careful. The kickboxing gym is opening a location in Tacoma, and I think I will use the remainder of my classes there. I did love that class and the form of exercise. I will just have to pace myself. I have a goal. About 5 years ago I was probably at my fittest. I want to get back there, or at least close. I want to be in good shape as I age.

Travel:
Last year: I traveled. I went to Scottsdale, Austin, and made many road trips throughout Washington
State. I was supposed to go to Vegas, but for personal reasons had to cancel two different trips. I had New Orleans and San Diego on my list, but didn't quite make it there.
2016: Traveling is one of my favorite things. I will continue. I already have plans to go to Scottdale again and Hawaii. Again, I'll be road trippin' it. Possibilities include Montana (don't laugh, I've never been and my daughter is looking at a college there), New Orleans is still on the list. I'd like to go to Vegas, and I have my sites set on Italy, though that may have to wait another year. Of course I still have my crazy goal of driving cross country. It's not come to fruition yet, but it continues to lay dormant in the back of my mind.

Friendships:
Last year: My goal was to make new ones. I think I achieved this handily. Just a couple, but I think I chose well.
2016: Just keep it up. You can never have too many friends.

Anything else? Hmmmmm...

• I think I would like to try something that scares the hell out of me. I don't know what, but I want my life to be full of adventure. 
• I would like to get more organized. I kow this is a total cliche resolution, but in my case, it is truly needed. I think it would help me to balance my time between home, work and relationships better. 
• Think positive. I tend to be a glass half empty type of person, but I don't want to be. I want to be able to take things in stride, look at the bright side, breathe with ease.
• Read more, for pleasure.  I think I can count on one hand how many books I read for pleasure last year. Don't get me wrong, I read plenty of business and health books, but I'd like to read some fiction. I'm starting with The Game of Love and Death by Martha Brockenbraugh.
• I want to be blissful - truly happy. I think if I really work on the goals I've set for myself, bliss will fall into place.

So, did you have goals you achieved last year? Want to share your goals for the upcoming year? I think it helps to talk these things out. It makes you accountable. I also think it makes things more doable if you have "people," you know, the ones that are rooting for you, lifting you up, the ones that have your back.

I will be your "people" if you need me.

Well, that's all. Have a great New Year's Day and best wishes for a 2016 full of possibilities. 

50 Shades of Twitter Trolls

If you follow Twitter and the literary world, you've probably heard that EL James was the brunt of a Twitter attack . If you don't know who EL James is, you at least know her books, the  50 Shades of Grey series. Now, I don't claim to be a fan of the books. I have read about 5 pages and wasn't impressed. However, I would never take it upon myself, no matter how much I hated a book, to brutally attack and criticize the author, especially during a Q&A they were hosting.

Sure, many people think she's not a good writer, many people don't like her books, a lot of them think they portray abusive relationships in a glamorous light. So write a book review on Amazon. Blog about it. There is no need to attack the PERSON behind the words.

Here are some of the horrible tweets...

•  does the E.L. Stand for ELiterate?
•  after the success of "Grey," have you considered re-telling the story from the perspective of someone who can write.
•  what's it like telling millions of women it's okay to be in an abusive relationship as long as he's rich.
•  Is there a safe word we can use to get you to stop writing such drivel?
•  Do you ever feel guilty that you made so much money from romanticizing sexual abuse and selling it as "erotica romance"?
•  Will you be rewriting the book from Stephenie Meyer's point of view next time? 
•  how do you feel knowing you've made your riches from convincing young impressionable girls that abuse is 'love'?
•  Which do you hate more, women or the English language?
•  Is it only ok for Christian to stalk, coerce, threaten & manipulate Ana because he's hot, or is it also ok because he's rich?
•  Do all these negative tweets sent to you seem abusive to you? I think it's romantic enough to be turned into a novel!

Um...seriously? From what I could see, the majority of tweets during the #AskELJames  Q&A were like this.

Let's take a couple things into consideration...

50 Shades of Grey is FICTION! And it's erotica. EL took people's real life sexual fantasies and
fictionalized them. Maybe they aren't my sexual fantasies or yours, but I bet they are someone's. Why else would so many copies have sold? Out of the millions and millions of books out in the bookosphere (yeah, it's a word) I'm sure there are others that glorify relationships like this, and rape, and murder, and all sorts of ugly things.

Remember the movie Natural Born Killers? I mean, I thought it was brilliant, as did others. However there were some...not so much. They felt like it glorified violence. Here's what some reviewers say...

• ...just for sickening starters, there wasn't one, single, solitary character in this entire film who was even remotely likable.
•  Phew! - What a total waste of H-Wood Talent !
•  I regret having to give this film one star- zero stars isn't an option. Neither is negative 3 stars. That would've been acceptable.
•  worst movie ever... 
•  ...I could feel my brain welling up with hatred for every individual involved in the making of this movie. 

You get my meaning? It's not real. It's fiction. It's subjective. So, like the people above, if you hate it so much, write a review. I would almost guess that they can't though because they probably have not read the books.

I'm not defending the series, I didn't read it, I have no desire to read it, and like I said, the part I did read I thought was crap. Writers are used to that kind of criticism. We have thick skin (or we learn to grow it.)  I am defending the writer. She's a person and is not defined by the books she wrote. She likes wine, dogs, chocolate, bacon and Magic Mike.  And she has feelings like the rest of us.

So step off Twitter Trolls. Go back to fawning over Harry Styles, making up new memes, posting Shia Laboeuf videos, and tweeting about hockey (this is truly what some of them do, I checked.) Just leave EL James alone.

Plus, she probably doesn't give a shit what you think anyway.

A step in the right direction

I finally found a paying gig. It won't be a lot of work or money (maybe I can work myself into more if I'm, ya know, awesome), but I finally connected with a blogger that liked my writing style. And I must say, it's a good fit for me. She had me write her an article as a test. A paid test. *visualize Megan doing a happy dance*

What I love about it is I can be myself when I write. The blog wasn't looking for AP Style or Chicago Manual yadda yadda yadda. They were just looking for someone who could speak to their readers. Someone who could be honest, informative, witty, and funny. Someone that is on the same level. Someone relatable.

Um, over here...that's me.

So, I know you're asking yourself, what are you writing? (okay, just pretend you are) I get to share with the blogosphere, my dating and relationship experiences. How cool is that? (even if you don't think it's cool, just pretend you do) I get to write just like I do here. Casual, matter of fact. I even get
to throw in some gentle cussing. (sadly, no "f" bombs).

Ex boyfriends,  you might want to steer clear.

When my first article is published, it will be on Attract The One  - Smart, Blunt Relationship Advice for Women.

Don't worry, you'll be the 2nd to know when the article is out (okay, probably right after Facebook and Twitter).

I'm super excited and you should be too (maybe you just don't know it yet).

4 years

Last night I came to a realization. I was looking through this blog of mine, for what I don't remember, but I was scanning through posts past. I came across one about the tornado book. I noted the date. It was 4 years ago!

I can't believe I started writing that back in 2011. That means I've not touched any other manuscript since then.

I'm absolutely melancholy over this. I mean, granted, I've been busy. Never Eighteen came out, then I released Dissected, but that was a year and a half ago!!!

So now I'm determined. I NEED to finish revisions on the football book and decide whether I'm going to query it out or self pub. I'd sure like to get another book  traditionally published, but my GOD, the process takes so long. I mean, either way takes a long time, but we're talking 2 years for traditional, whereas I could probably get it out by the end of the year *fingers crossed.*

Ugh. Where does the time go.?

Fired

So, if you are friends with me on Facebook, you'll know that I lost my job last week. It was Monday, I was on vacation, and it royally sucked.

I've been pretty much wallowing in self pity for days, resigned to writing off last week as a "nothing" week. Now I need to shake the pity party off, get my shit together and get moving.

I absolutely loved the work I did at the law firm. It was always challenging, always fast paced, never boring. (okay, sometimes not boring) Now what am I going to do. I would really like to stick with marketing if I can, but those jobs are pretty scarce, still, that's what I'm going to look for first.

This has been an interesting experience so far. I've applied for unemployment, which wasn't difficult at all until I had to call in my claim for the week. I recommend finding out what questions they are going to ask you before calling in. I was totally confused with the whole, you got paid some money, how much? I didn't have my paperwork in front of me, I didn't understand the questions. ARG!! It took me like 6 calls to get it right.

I also have to get some paperwork signed by my doctor, because with my fatigue condition the way it is now, I do not see myself being able to work full time. I will try for sure if needed, but I'd rather be trying to find another part time or telecommuting job that fits my health needs at the moment.

I also signed up for Obamacare because my medical will run out at the end of March. I guess I'm in the  "pathetic" category now that I'm unemployed and get to get it cheap.

And today, well, today I scoured through probably 200 job postings on various websites, Flex, Indeed, Monster, Career Builder, Craigslist...I've not applied yet. I've just been gathering them up to see which ones I would prefer to apply for first.

I have to do 3 job related activities to keep my unemployment going. Either contact employers for jobs or doing these work related activities in the Work Source program, or a combo of both. The Work Source stuff are workshops, job fairs and the like, to get me closer to my employment goals, I guess. A lot of it I really don't need, but I did find a couple of their classes to suit my needs. They have an orientation, stress management seminar, and jump starting your own business that look good.

I've dusted off my resume and added new skills and experience and created a cover letter. So, I guess I'm as ready as I'm going to be.

It's terrifying. I'm downtrodden. I was good at what I did and now I feel like I have to start all over.

I'm still planning to start the marketing business with my friend from my old job. And I'm still writing, so it would be great if one of those would actually pan out for me. I seriously do not like working for other people since having my own business in the 90s. There is a certain freedom you get with becoming your own boss, even if you are working your tail off.

So anyhoo, that's what I've been up to. It's going to be all work and job searching for me for awhile. So if you don't see (or hear) from me, you know what I'm doing.

Have you ever lost a job in your adult life? How did you handle it? Are you better off now? Do you like where you ended up?

More accounting, more goals

 I actually found my goals from last year. I'm not sure I did a great job attaining
them, but let's see what I did get accomplished.

Life:
Last year's goals - screw balance and take things one by one.
Um, seriously, that was my goal. I am pretty sure I did that although some of the other stuff in this section...I'm not sure. Here they were...

• Work - Who cares?: Pretty much nailed that.
  
• Writing - An hour a day. Um, no. I mean technically, probably yes, but not fiction writing. Writing for work, proposals and no, I'm not even counting my social media, but not the writing I intended to do although I would almost guarantee I wrote more this year than last. My plan is to finish the book I'm writing and rewrite another.
• Marketing - An hour a day. Probably, though again, not the marketing I intended to do which was for my book, Dissected. The marketing I did was for my new business. I'll continue this.
• Kids - My kids and I have already decided to commit one day a week to each other in which we have dinner and spend the evening together doing something, with no one else, just us. Hahahaha. But seriously, Um...I blame them.
  
• Organization - Um...I'll work on it. That's all I can say. Pretty much all I can say for this year too. I'm just not an organized person. I mean, I know where all my piles are, and where the important things are in those piles, but...yeah.
• Travel - Yes. I did this: Ocean, AZ, Mexico, Florida, San Francisco...I'll try to keep it up this year. I love to travel. And I still have my dream to drive cross country. Anyone want to go with me?

Love:
2014 goals - If I want to throw my heart at someone, it's mine to throw. If they break it into tiny pieces and throw it back at me, it's just another of life's lessons learned the hard way and I have another story to tell. Er, I'm not sure that was exactly a goal. I went on and on in this one last year and made absolutely no sense.  Soooo, goal #1, love me first, everyone else second. Goal #2, as far as relationships are concerned, don't look for love, let it find me if it will. If it doesn't, just be happy and take advantage of the time alone to get things accomplished. What more can you do?

 
 
A few more goals I had last year:

• Smile more. :) - Maybe I did this? Who knows? I'll keep trying.
• Visit my parents at least once a week. Probably pretty close. Still intend to do so and throw in, make sure my kids visit them once a week. Life is shorter than we think. Show the people you love you care.
•  Learn patience or at least learn to breathe a little. Hahaha, er...okay, I'll try again this year.
  
• Shut up and listen. Yes. I think I do this. I think.
• Dance in my living room when no one's home. Um...I don't think I did this, but it's a good idea, so I'll try again.

Those were all last years. I think I will add one about Friendships - Handle them with care. Broaden my horizons more. Meet up with people I haven't for a while and try to meet new people. Don't let anyone define who I am. Don't let anyone bring you down. If a friendship isn't working or feels like it's one sided, end it.

Another goal is to Read More - I tried this last year. I'm really not sure how I did. I mean, I didn't read all the fiction I wanted to. I set out to read 12 works of fiction and that didn't happen. From my list, I did read...

• Insurgent
• Allegiant
• The Summer of Letting Go
• The Fault in our Stars
• 1/2 of the Bell Jar 

I stopped reading Bell Jar because I was in a bad place while reading it and it's not exactly a picker upper. I did throw an extra book in there that was not on my list, Grasshopper Jungle. Also, I read a ton of business books, so I would guarantee I read at least 12 books last year if not more.

So, I'm going to get back to the 12 fiction books again and here's my plan:

1. Finish the Bell Jar
2. Another John Green Book, don't know which one yet.
3. Sharp Objects - Gillian Flynn
4. Eleanor and Park - Rainbow Rowell
5. 100 Sideways Miles - Andrew Smith
6.  Anything one of my friends publish. If that happens.
7. Nothing Special - Geoff Herbach
8. Before I Fall -  Lauren Oliver
9. Very Bad Men  -  Harry Dolan
10. Noggin - John Corey Whaley
11. Go Ask Alice - Anonymous
12. Auracle - Gina Rosati

What are your goals for the next year? Have any reading goals? Where will life take you in 2015?

NoNaNo this year

I didn't complete NaNoWriMo again this year. Honestly, I'm okay with it. It motivated me to get writing again, which I'd been putting off. So I'm at 37,588 on this novel which was way further than I was anyway. Life is just busy right now. I've been out of town twice, it's the holiday season, and other life things are happening.

Another thing. I have SUCH a hard time writing without researching. I'm not sure I can do it. People have told me the tricks, leave a marker to search for later or make a note and such, but it just seems like more work later. But really, if I'd done it, I may have been able to finish NaNoWriMo. Maybe.

Of course when you're researching along the way there are all the shiny distraction on the internet like Twitter and Facebook and memes and funny cat videos...

I WILL finish this book though. It's taken a long time. I actually tried writing it during NaNo last year, but realized it was too hard to write in one piece. I had to write it in two separate sections from the two differing points of view, one at a time because they were from two different time periods and those time periods were different lengths. One stretches through an entire school year, one just a few weeks. I'm having a much easier time now.

I'll probably keep trying at NaNoWriMo. I'm a two time winner, and one of those books went on to be published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (Never Eighteen). Even if I don't win, I usually am able to get out a few thousand words (or tens of thousands).

20 random thoughts

Random thoughts. I'm reliving conversations from last night, pondering things I've
seen browsing on Twitter and Tumblr this morning, thinking about the weekend. Granted, some of them you won't understand, just my personal inside musings.

1. I'm starting resolutions before next year. I'm joining a gym Monday. I really need to make these changes.
2. There had to be a taser, a billy club...some other option. 
3. Richard Sherman is funny and a class act. People don't like him because he's the best and he's loud. Well, people outside Washington. And maybe Oregon and Idaho. Maybe Montana.
4. I'm all about women's rights, but I don't think we need to trash men to get them. We're trying to be equal, right, not superior?
5. People that go shopping today are CRAY!
6.  Some of these people on the Tumblr, I really don't want to see their shit.
7. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed Facebook until I left it.
8. Peeta and RePeeta were in a boat...
9. Speaking of...someone told me he thought Mockingjay was boring. I asked where they left off and he said basically they just got Peeta back (who up to this point he thought was named Peter hahaha). And I was like O.o I could see that being boring because NOTHING REALLY HAPPENS until then.
10. I need to remind my daughter for the millionth time that I am a POOR SINGLE MOM WHO CAN NOT AFFORD TO FEED ALL HER FRIENDS!
11. I need to buy more Christmas lights.
12. I hope the tattoo artist can get my design right.
13. I can't wait to get on the road and get the fuck out of here.
14. My dreams need to stop toying with me. It's hard to dream about someone you love then wake up realizing they're not a part of your life anymore.
15. Always ask someone if they want some pie before you eat the whole thing. Even if you were told to take it home and eat the whole thing.
16. Do I really need to Tumblr when I Blogger?
17. THERE IS ONLY ONE FUCKING PIE AND IT'S BANANA CREAM!
18. NaNoWriMo - okay, so I may not finish, but I got a lot accomplished, which is more than I can say for the last two years.
19. There are 4 kinds of people in your life:
1. the ones who give, never expecting anything in return
2. the ones in which you have a give and take relationship and that's okay
3. the ones that take and never give
4. and the ones you just want to punch in the face
20. My dad is awesome.

Being Switzerland: Bad Behavior of Book Bloggers vs Authors Pt. 2

I posted part 1 of this blog on Tuesday and talked about book bloggers behaving badly. Today I'll talk about authors behaving badly. This really is nothing new. I came across this  Cavalcade of Literary Jerks, which is a funny, but true post about famous authors behaving badly, such as James Joyce, Charles Dickens and Norman Mailer. I highly recommend the read.

Anyway, as I stated in part 1 of my blog, as a published author and also a Vine reviewer for Amazon, I have been on both sides of this coin with regard to the head butting between bloggers and authors, therefore I am Switzerland.

Here is some examples of how authors shouldn't behave, and again, I'm using no names as the badly behaved and their victims  need no more attention.

Authors:

• Commenting on bad reviews. There are MANY authors who have done this. Just don't. Whether you're being polite or not, it's just a bad idea (but yeah, especially if you're going to be rude and basically call people stupid). Don't blog it, Facebook it, Tweet it. Back away from the reviews. When you put a book out, not everyone is going to like it. Some people will hate it. It's a fact. Get over yourself.
• Just because you send a blogger your book does not mean they have to review it. Period. If you do not get a review, even if you were promised one, let it go. Definitely don't post a "hit list" of bloggers on your blog telling people they are horrible people. Do not start a flame war with bloggers. This is a bad idea that will sometimes end with you losing your Goodreads account and some of your credibility and brand you as an "Author Behaving Badly."
• Always tell your spouse it is not okay to respond to bad reviews in your defense. Especially do not let him call them "psycho" when it is a well thought out and not at all harsh review just because it is a bad one.

• This same author's assistant then attacked another blogger because she changed her review from 4 stars to 1 after the author complained that it only got to #2 on the NYT list and after what her husband did and stated she would never read her again. Do I agree with the star change for that reason? Not necessarily. But once again the key here is DO NOT ENGAGE.
• As an author you should probably not let on that you know all the above is going on by posting about it on Facebook.
• Both author and husband apologize, but blogger now receives threats from rabid fans via email and voicemail. One even told her to kill herself, yet author won't tell her fans to back off. After someone on her Facebook page suggest she make a statement, author refuses and says she doesn't want any more comments about it on her page. O.o
• Contact reviewers privately upon a bad review and guilt them into deleting the review, amending or raising and then "teaching" authors that this is the thing to do. Also, stating publicly how funny it is that while they may have given you a bad review, you are the one holding their money. Not very classy or ethical. And yeah, someone did that.
• Don't be an arrogant douche. Don't make yourself out to be more than you are. You can be proud, you can brag, but know when to shut the hell up. Don't tell readers and fellow writers to fuck off.
• One self pubbed author went on a Goodreads rampage a few years ago apparently trashing those who reviewed her book poorly as well as fellow YA authors. She then created sock puppet accounts (many from what I understand) to give her book 5 star ratings and give other authors 1 star ratings. Then she outed a blogger by posting publicly her real name, husband's name, email address, etc. Yeah, don't do any of this.
• Seriously, keep comments about reviews off Twitter. Especially with your agent. Especially don't say you're going to go like all the good reviews and get all your homies involved.
• Know who you can trust or make sure you are sending the email to the right person. One author sent a scathing email about a reviewer to a couple close friends. Somehow the review ended up getting it in her inbox. She was not amused as it called her a stupid cow. She does apologize, but, um er...
• Don't act like a crazy psycho and ruin your career over bad reviews. I cannot reiterate this enough. Yes, I believe this has been done.
• Do not stalk a reviewer who gave you a poor review. Then do not post on your
  
  blog how you did this and actually showed up at her house. Scary.
• One author actually stalked a reviewer who gave him a bad review, found out where she worked, drove from London to Scotland and physically assaulted her by hitting her in the head with a wine bottle from behind. 

So...the above is behavior you never want to engage in as an author, traditionally published, self published, no matter.  As you can see, all but one of these have to do with receiving bad reviews. I will reiterate this about bad reviews...YOU ARE GOING TO GET THEM. It's a thing. It  happens. Don't contact the blogger, reviewer. Seriously, this is just not a good idea.

The other one, don't treat your fellow authors like shit. We really are not competition. We are in this together. We should work to help each other make it in this crazy and cruel business.

Stay sharp. Stay focused. Stay out of prison.

I think it's time...

After some low days and soul searching I decided I could not stay away from writing. I miss writing this blog and I miss writing fiction. I have one novel fully written that just needs editing and one that I have about 30k in that I need to finish and so many ideas it seems a shame not to write them.

So I am back.

I also have my author website I was updating which I'd like to finish and was going to start a new weekly blog

This is what I love and though I love what I do at my day job as well, it is not enough. I will have to toil through work and health problems, exercise and kids activities and make a schedule that works.

I picked up writing for a reason. I needed it, and I don't mean like oxygen, like so many others might say. It came to me at a time that I was grieving. It makes me calm, gives me peace, help me breathe - a form of therapy that nothing else seems to be able to parallel.

So, I guess, in a way it's like oxygen. I feel I need it to survive this world. I realized that without it my world was a darker place.

These Vines Have Sour Grapes

I have been hanging out a little bit at the writer's forums at the Amazon
Breakthrough Novel Award Contest (which I said I wouldn't do) and let me tell you, just like every year, things have turned ugly since the quarter final cuts.

People aren't happy. They are complaining about their reviews about Amazon's Vine reviewers not being professionals so they have no business judging the competition etc.

Like I said, it happens every year. I believe this is the 7th year of the contest and I've entered 6. Of those 6 times, I have made it to the quarter finals twice, the first year and this year. Did I have sour grapes? Honestly, I don't remember. It's possible, but as a veteran and seeing it happen, I would say probably not. I would say I probably got my reviews, maybe bitched a little and went back to improving my manuscript.

Except the 4th year, but I've already talked about that. And speaking of that, yes, sometimes you will get a person who is not a good reviewer and if you do that sucks. That's what happened to me that 4th year. And when I am talking about a someone who is not a good reviewer, I'm not talking about someone who didn't like my book. Shit happens move on. I'm talking about a person who:

1. Says nothing at all about your writing in their review.
2. Adds their biased opinions about ____________(fill in the blank, it could be homosexuals, the death penalty, drugs, whatever) and decides your book is no good because it includes it.
3. Is obvious they didn't read your entry or openly say they didn't read it yet gave it low marks.
4. Gives no constructive criticism whatsoever.
5. Gives criticism in the form of insults, snark and sarcasm.
6. Instead of encouraging you to work on your craft tells you to quit altogether or worse, kill yourself (yes, the latter has been done).

So, if you get a reviewer like this in the contest the only thing you can really do is

report them to Amazon and hope they never choose them for the contest again. Other than that, it's a done deal.

There are people on the forum bashing the contest, saying it's stupid and Viners shouldn't judge and they will never enter again. Okay. Those people have that right. I just had to point out a few things though:

• ABNA is a free contest.
• Amazon gives away 6 publishing contracts and advances in the amount of $125,000
• It's Amazon's contest, who else are they going to get to judge the 500 excerpts but their own reviewers.
• You can't judge the entirety of the contest on a couple bad reviewers.
• Amazon states in the rules who is judging the contest and who they are.
• It actually prepares you for the real publishing world as it is subjective and some people will hate your work and some people will like it and you will have to learn to deal with that.

I have gone far, I have been cut. I've received good reviews and I have probably
seen the worse review the contest has ever seen, but I will continued to enter because 1) It's free. 2) I'm still a Mid Lister 3) It's a good opportunity to meet other writers 4)I like getting the feedback on my work, which always helps me learn and grow as a writer.

Amazon's Breakthrough Novel Award Contest

So, I don't even know if I mentioned that I entered this contest again. This is the...wait, I need to count...1,2,3,4,5...6th time I've entered the ABNA contest. The first time I went to to the semi-finals. After the first year, they changed the way they did things drastically. The 2-4 time I got past the pitch phase. If you make it that far, you received reviews from the first round of reviewers, I think in the 2nd year it was Publisher's Weekly, but since, it's been Amazon Vine reviewers. The 5th year, I didn't make it anywhere.

I was trying to locate the reviews I received, but alas, could not, except for the scathing one I received in year 4. You see, although I was ousted in year 2, both my reviews were good. Year 3, the reviewers like my writing, but not the subject matter (school shooting, graphic violence, meh).

However, year 4...oy. I don't even remember my 2nd review (though I think it was pretty good) because this one blew my mind. If there was every a person that didn't "get" my writing, or the voice, it was this guy. And I only say guy because that's the vibe I got from the review. I will add that the reviewer though I was a teenager,

which I take as a compliment to the voice of my character being spot on, although he didn't get that.  But this is also a sad statement because if I had been a teenager, this person probably would have made me quit writing forever. The following is not constructive criticism. It is an attack and would do no writer any good. I will also add that by the time I entered this contest, I already had my book contract for Never Eighteen.

 Here are a few of my favorite lines from that review.

"Unfortunately you have failed to pay attention in the one class required to be able to write well - English."

Um, really? I think Houghton Mifflin Harcourt would disagree.


"It's a shame that you didn't write anything that hasn't been written hundreds of times already this year."


Yes, because in 2010 I'd seen tons of book out there about girls who wanted to play high school football to gain the attention of their estranged father. O.o

"If this was a school paper, I'd have to give it an 'F'."



Well thank god it wasn't!

"It is way too easy today for people to get published and sincerely hope you do not see that as an option. Frankly this is no where good enough to be called a "book" and you to be called an "author.""

First of all, really? It's too easy to get published today? What alternate reality are you living in? And um, you think I'm like 16 and you're going to say something like that to me. Yeah, way to dash the hopes and dreams of tomorrow's future. I'll think I'll go shave my head, put on some black clothing, read some Plath and cut into my thighs. Sheesh.

In a word, this guy(woman, whatever) was a douche. I've learned to handle bad

reviews and criticism, but I was like, bewildered. *Blink Blink* Did I really just read that?

So anyway, I digress. The point of writing this blog was to tell you that I have made it to the quarter finals of the ABNA contest for the first time since the first year I entered and with the same book I entered that received this scathing review.  Girl in Motion - football book. So, there you have it.

My writing process blog tour!

I’ve been invited to participate in a blog tour about the writing process, started by Maya Rock.  Maya used to be a literary agent at Writer's House. I know this because I queried her a couple times because she seemed totally cool and like someone I'd like to work with, but we all now how the query process is and, well, that didn't pan out. Now she's an editor and writer and the one who started this blog hop. Go check out her website. Her first YA novel comes out next year. Yay Maya!!

So this blog hop is an ongoing opportunity to get to know something about how writers see their processes (um, processes? are there such things as processes?) It's kind of like playing tag. Today I'm it. I was chosen by Facebook friend and fellow YA author, Stephanie Feuer (see how her name is a link? click on that and go check her out). You will see who I've tagged and will be posting a week from today at the end of this post.


Let's get started shall we. I'm supposed to answer four questions. Let's see...where did those damn questions get too...(pushes side sticky notes, grabs legal pads with scribbles on them) oh yes. Here we go...

1. What am I working on?

 Oh I just this very second tweeted about this. Would you like to read my tweet?

When you tell your kids the plot of the MS you're writing & they say, "What's wrong with you?" & "You're sick" #yalit #contemporaryfiction

 Yes. Contemporary YA. For some reason I'm drawn to it. The plot is this: A teenage boy, who is quite the douchebag (womanizer, homophobe, racist, treats his mother, his girlfriend, pretty much everyone like shit), finds tornado debris in his front yard. His mom makes him help clean it up much to his dismay. Among the debris is a notebook, a journal if you will. He begins to read it and finds the words of a troubled teenage girl. A girl whose mom is an alcoholic, whose stepfather is abusive, who is bullied at school, basically whose life is a miserable mess.

Because he's such a douche, he thinks it's funny at first. But the more he reads into this girl's life, the more he starts to feel for her. He also starts to see parallels into his own life and his own faults are coming to the surface. When it comes down to the end of the journal, and the girl wanting nothing more than to die, he sets out to find her and stop her before that happens, to show her that at least there is one person out there that cares about her. But will he be too late? It's currently titled, A Tattered Life, but I'm not sold on the title.  

You can read an excerpt here.

I'm also working on revising a novel I want to put out this fall titled Girl in Motion. So there's that to contend with. Also still trying to market Dissected. Not too good at the multi-tasking stuffs. Oy. Working on it though.

That seemed like a really long drawn out answer.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Tough one.  I think I take risks other authors aren't willing to take. I write about hard things other authors won't write about and some people, yeah, they won't publish it. I write about the ugly truths, the not-so-happily-ever-afters.  The fact is that the good people don't always survive, and the boy doesn't always get the girl in the end, and some people don't always want to read about how perfect life is because it's not.

Sometimes life is hard and dark and painful. Sometimes we need THOSE characters to relate to. Sometimes we need to read about people who hurt like us and feel like us and not just the people who lead exciting existences and get what they want and you know in the end everything is going to be all right.

And I may not always end on the happily-ever-after, but I do end on the everthing-will-be-okay. I always end on a ray of hope. I don't write beautiful stories, but I think I write stories that need to be told. I don't know who said it, but there's a quote that really resonates with me, and I write it in my book, Dissected when I sign it.

"But without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

3. Why do I write what I do?

I think I sort of answered this above. The hard stories, the dark stories, for some reason I am just drawn to them. I think they're important and need to be written and that I'm one of the writers that needs to write them. 

I suppose it's because of my experiences too. I've seen a lot and suffered through some and that makes it easier to write this contemporary fiction that is so emotionally raw like an exposed nerve. It also makes it easier to put myself in my characters shoes and bring out their most inner feelings, fears and dreams.

I do want to write other things. I have different stories in different genres started, but I keep getting drawn back here to this place. Too many stories, too little time...


4. How does your writing process work?

And here is the hardest question to answer. I'm not sure what I do is a "process" per se. 

As far as the when and where...time seems to be fleeting these days. I write whenever I can. I have a day job, so I try to write in the afternoon. If I get up early enough, I write before work. I sit at my kitchen table in front of my sliding glass door, it's the place in my house where the most sunlight comes in. 

I also write in many notebooks whenever I'm out and about. I have notebooks scattered all over. At times I gather them all up in a central location and find where I've written everything. I counted the last time I did it, there are about 20 notebooks around my house, car and in various bags laying around.

As far as the how, I sit down, I write. That's what I do. While I'm writing, I research. Probably to a fault. I think I get a little overzealous when it comes to authenticity.

Anyway, so I write and I research and I get a 1st draft down and it's crap and way too short (when I write the first draft is always way too short and always way too crappy)

So I do a next draft and flesh it out. I add details about people, places, make the prose prettier. Sometimes I have to add characters, pets. I usually find after a first draft that everyone is an only child, has one dead parent, and no one has pets.

I do a next draft, get Beta readers to give me feedback, give it to a couple editors, do another  _________rewrites (changes with every novel). Then I worry about how horrible it is for the rest of its days, no matter its future, published or sucked into the abyss of a word file for the rest of its existence.

So, for next week, here are the next three contestants...
Hart Johnson, Angel Young, and S.D. Skye. They will be posting on April 14.

First up, Hart Johnson...

Hart Johnson writes books from her bathtub. A social scientist by day, Hart spends her evenings plotting grand conspiracies and murdering people on paper. She is author via pen name (Alyse Carlson) of the Garden Society Mysteries and is serially publishing an apocalyptic flu conspiracy tale called A Shot in the Light.
  


 For her post next week, visit her blog, Confessions of a Watery Tart 

You can buy her books here. (they didn't tell us to do that, but I'm awesome like that)


Next, Angel Young...

Angel Young is a bit eccentric by nature. She's a writer, photographer, artist, dreamer, and all around weirdo. She cut teeth on vampire movies and carried around a beloved Wolfman doll as a child (appropriately named 'Wolfy'), pretended she was the Caped Crusader, and waited for her letter to Hogwarts. Not much has changed. She's a 23 year old girl battling an autoimmune disease, Sjogrens, with a lot of dreams, adventures, and a firm belief in nurturing her inner child. While her creative outlets are always being added to, writing will always be her favorite passion. To sum it up: A Batman-addicted weirdo covered in tattoos, almost always in Converse, running around in her own La-La Land.

Visit Angel's blog, Misadventures of a Misfit on Monday. (see what I did there?)

S.D. Skye, author of the J.J. McCall series, is an award-winning author and former FBI counterintelligence analyst. She's a native Washingtonian (D.C.) and professed nerd-girl who loves all things Star Trek, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Big Bang Theory. She's a member of Romance Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, the Maryland Writers Association, and Sisters in Crime and lives to write novels, especially those involving 3-letter agencies and Beltway intrigue. She's hard at work on the next installment of the series. 

You'll find Ms. Skye's blog, here. 

Until next time...

Just how difficult is it to write a book?

This was posed to me last night, and a totally legit question. I know that many non writers often wonder, because maybe  they'd like to try their hand at it because they have an idea that's been nagging at their brain for some time. If they have that much, that's good because of course a book has to start with an idea.

An idea can come from anywhere. They have come to me from big events in my life and fleeting moments, newspaper articles and simple phrases. Sometimes the ideas are big and sometimes all I have is an opening line, a character or a title and I have to work from there.

Once you have your idea, you can either outline it or just start writing. I tend to do the latter. I just write until I can't write anymore. I"m called a "panster" because I write by the seat of my pants. This is the first draft of my novel.

By this point, many people who start writing a book have already given up. You have to be determined, motivated, and diligent to stick with writing a book from beginning to end. It's not easy. Things will get in your way -- job, kids, time, life in general. If you really want it, and really think you have a story to tell, stick with it.

In the second draft I deal with the sticky parts. Usually the sticky parts for me are the details, developing characters and places, figuring out the storyline in what us writers call the "murky middle" and well, *cough* the plot. I have to make sure I actually have one. I've had to at this point add characters into the book, cut thousands of words and add 10s of thousands of words.

Then there are usually a couple more drafts.

For me, editing comes next. I have a couple friends who I think are great editors. their work (editors can be wrong too you know, plus, they're all proper and shit and sometimes you don't want to be proper and shit).

Much better than me (though I see they don't know their lay, lie, lying, laying either). So I have them go through the manuscript and find my mistakes.  I am doing all my corrections hard copy now. I've proven to myself that if I just have them track changes on Word, I get lazy and don't really check them. Having them correct on a hard copy actually makes me read the entire manuscript again and even check

Next step is to get Beta Readers. These are a group of people to read your manuscript and give feedback. I like to choose a variety of people. My editor friends give me feedback as well, so they kind of count. I gather up a couple writer friends who can usually give me an idea about the plot, storyline and character development. Then I grab a couple people who are strictly readers who give me a blanket idea of how the book worked. Did they like the story? The characters? Were there any problems? If so, what were they? Were there any questions left unanswered?

I do another rewrite based on the information I've gathered from my Betas. Now, keep in mind, your Betas are giving you opinion and you may not agree. Change what you feel needs changing and toss the rest away. However, if they're all saying the same thing, you should probably listen. When I had Betas read my last book, Dissected, none of them liked my protagonist. So in my rewrite I had to make her more sympathetic and likeable.

After the rewrite I'll give it back to at least one editor for copy editing again. With all those new words in there, there are bound to be grammatical and punctuation errors.

I may give it a couple more reads for good measure, just to make sure it's as publishable as can be. The voila! You have a book with which you can either start querying agents or indie publish.

This is just the basics. You should also brush up on writing tips, like don't use too many adverbs, exclamation points or ellipses...crap like that. There are a ton of great books on writing out there and of course, the almighty Google.

What is your process? Do you have any questions or comments? Feel free to leave them. I try to respond to every one.