Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Last night my daughter, Thing Two, informed me that the zombie apocalypse was indeed possible with the combination of certain diseases attacking the immune system at the same time.

So, I pondered if I could survive the zombie apocalypse, and came to the conclusion that yes, I'm a bad ass and would definitely survive.

First of all, for me, the rules of Zombieland were a given. I didn't need anyone to tell me to double tap or check the back seat. Also, I'm writing a dystopic novel, not with zombies, but with crazy people (think road warrior) and I've done some research and thinking on the subject of survival already.

I know you can't depend on guns. You have to have ammo for guns. Will I have some? Sure. But I think my main weapon would be something more along the lines of a machete, a battle axe, a mace, or something like this:
I'd also surround myself with people that could help me get through. People who are strong and smart. People who have skills akin to McGyver. People who know how to hunt, fish, start a fire through telekinesis. A little talent and eye candy wouldn't hurt either.

Zombies are slow and stupid. I mean, you should only go out when you have to, for supplies. Otherwise you make a home for yourself in some fortresslike facility, a military base, school, prison, and stay put.

I take pride in the fact that I would be:

An Ultimate Survivor.

When the outbrake starts, look me up. I could use people like you on my team. You're a team player but also know when to trust and when not to. You will survive as long as it takes. You're weapon skills are amazing and you can spot a zombie from a mile away. You know how and where to hit them and you know when to run. Congratulations, keep up the good work.

Valentine's Day

I'm not really a fan of the holiday. Just another reason to spend money you don't have. And I don't need chocolates (definitely don't need), flowers die, I'm perfectly happy with my cheap jewelry I buy from Target (if you want to feel important you pronounce that Tar-jay)And if you love someone, you should show them all year round.

I have certain rules. No gifts. No going out to dinner. It's simple, right?

I'm perfectly content making a nice dinner for my family, and hanging out and buying a new movie to watch, which is what we normally do. Oh, and I usually get Thing One and Thing Two a little candy or something.

A few days before V-day, the husband and I are shopping at Fred Meyer looking to spend our reward bucks on a movie. We grab Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist for the kids, decide to buy them a couple gifts, nothing big, an iPod cover, a flash drive, and a set of headphones for the computer to use with a Spanish and Italian program we have. I'm standing in line and my husband says, "Do you want an iPod?"

Um. Was it a trick question? "No. It's too much." (though I really really wanted one)

"Are you sure? I know you've been jealous of the girl's." We got the girls iPods for Christmas. Yes I was indeed jealous. I wanted one so bad I could taste it.

"No, it's fine. I was going to ask for one for my birthday." (Which is in two months)

"Do you want it now, or do you want to wait? We have the money now."

I'm weak. I caved. Of course I wanted it. And what was the point of waiting two months? I broke rule number one. We bought the iPod.

Then we went to a hardware store and bought the husband $20 worth of tools. Not really a fair exchange, but one he was perfectly content with.

The night before V-day, the kids want a sleepover. Six girls total including mine. We went to our indoor soccer game, fed them spaghetti, they overdosed on rootbeer floats, and we didn't really see them all night (though they could be heard. LOUDLY.) At 1:00 am, husband told them to go to sleep.

Woke up V-day morning and made them bacon and french toast. This is when we found out that most stayed up until about 4:00 am, a couple others until 6:00. (Again I ask why I do this?) Normally we find this out later when we read their Facebook pages and they've posted at 1:30, then 3:00, then 5:00. This time, they just offered the information. Parents all over town would hate us that day.

The husband and I once again went to Fred Meyer, we bought Zombieland and Boondock Saints.

Started cooking pork chops. Rusty's favorite, and which we don't eat ever. Have to cook them slow, at least three hours if not nore. I had bought rib eye for the occasion, but didn't check the date, so we had to eat that on Friday or else it would have been green and tasted and smelled funky.

Last sleepover guest left at 3:30 pm.

Cooked twice baked mashed potatoes, peas, and homemade bread. Made garlic butter.

Thing Two gets invited to another sleep over.

I'm supposed to (so I think) drop her off in 30 minutes. so, I get dinner on the table and we sit down to eat. Doorbell rings and it's Thing Two's friend there to pick her up. She grabs her bread and leaves the rest, which is fine as her dad had no problem polishing off his plate, then her plate, then going in for more (should that be than? I get confused). I was surprised he could even move after all that.

We sit down to watch Zombieland with some wine. Very funny. Thing One fell asleep though, as she had been one of those to stay up until 6:00 am.

Rusty and I both fall asleep during Boondock Saints. Me and Thing One end up in my bed, Rusty in the basement.

And that's how it went. Romantic, huh? How was yours?