Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The Whole 30: Day 3

I made it this far, but I feel like I can't see straight and that I got hit by a bus. So there's that. I'll
explain that in a bit.

The Whole 30. I didn't really explain it much yesterday, just that I was doing it and why. These are the basics. It's about taking foods out of your diet that have a negative impact on your well being. I'm just going to give you the skinny today. For in-depth commentary, you'll have to visit The Whole 30 website.

  1. Don't eat sugar of any kind, real or artificial.
  2. No alcohol in any form, even for cooking.
  3. Do not eat grains.
  4. Do not eat legumes.
  5. Do not eat dairy.
  6. Do not consume carrageenan, MSG, or sulfites.
  7. Do not try to recreate baked goods, junk foods, or treats with The Whole 30 approved foods. That defeats the purpose.(There are a few exceptions, like you can use fruit juice but you can't drink it, you can only use it to sweeten things. You can use ghee or clarified butter. If you're on your death bed you can consume medication with alcohol in it, though they would want you to try to find a natural remedy first. Others you'll find at their website)
  8. You are not allowed to step on a scale or take measurements during The Whole 30. Yes. Do it before.
  9. You have to do it and be faithful to it for 30 days. If you go off, you start over.
Then there are the first few days. I'm on day 3 and I'm about to explain about my first sentence in this blog.

Day 1: What's the big deal? You're feeling satisfied, it isn't hard. It's a piece of cake. You tell everyone you know about it.
Day 2 & 3: The Hangover. Yes, this is where I am. The pre-Whole 30 food bender of pizza, wine, nachos, margaritas and whatnot is hitting you where it hurts. The amount of bad you feel is proportionate to the amount of bad you ate prior to The Whole 30. Expect headaches, fatigue, and malaise, but don't give up. I took a 2 hours nap and I'm still tired. Drink some water and get through it.
Day 4 & 5: Kill All the Things: For some reason, I'm looking forward to this day. (JK) You are
overcome with the desire to punch people in the face. They have no idea why this happens, but it does. Just warn people in advance and ask forgiveness when it's over. Don't give up.
Day 6 & 7: I Just Want to Nap.  Your body is learning not to rely on those easy access energy sources like sugar and grains. Don't worry, it will learn how to give you fuel in other ways, so don't give up.
Day 8 & 9: For the Love of Gosling, My Pants Are Tighter! The process is still working, your digestion is adjusting. As your body processes this food effectively, you could experience, um, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea. Really, this phase passes quickly, so still, don't give up.
Day 10 & 11: The Hardest Days. Uh, yeah, you thought those previous 9 days were bad, I guess it's going to get worse. You'll get frustrated that the program isn't working it's "magic" yet. You're still establishing your meal routine, you'll start noticing the food you can't have, you'll see what hold food had on you. Find a way to reward yourself that doesn't include food. Yeah, you're intolerable right now, but you're closer. Don't give up.

That's all I'm going to give you. For the rest, visit this page: The Whole 30 Timeline.

So, I was going to mow my law today because I'm sure my neighbors hate me, but I'm not sure I have the energy. I think I'll try anyway.

So yesterday, this is what I ate:

Pork sausage patty
Mushrooms and onions

Chicken thigh
Green salad with tomato, avocado and mushrooms
Topped with Tessamae's Lemon Garlic dressing ( only brand of dressing that's Whole 30 approved, I found it at my local store, but they also have a website. They will also tell you which of their products are Whole 30 approved)
I tried Kombucha, but it tasted like butt, so I gave up.

Balsamic drizzled pan-seared London Broil (OMG I got it on the "old meat" rack. It was cheap)
Roasted sweet potato wedges
Small spinach salad with tomatoes and strawberries
Topped with Tessamae's Balsamic dressing

I also get tired of drinking plain water. Sometimes I drink water with lemon, but that still gets boring. Yesterday I did this thing to the left here. I added strawberries. It was better. THEN I find out AFTER I sip the liquid of ass Kobucha (and if you see how they make it, you'll see why it tastes like ass) I find out that LaCroix bubbly goodness in every flavor is Whole 30 approved. WTF?!?


Going back to the store today to get some and going to try some of their Mocktails Most of them include fruit juice. Just squeeze fresh fruit into your water or use frozen or fresh fruit instead of the fruit juice.

Until tomorrow when I'll feel like KILLING ALL THE THINGS! Which really isn't so different from a normal day for me.

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