This is one of those days...

Today is one of the days that my fatigue catches up with me. It's one of those days in which, if I didn't have a job, I wouldn't get out of bed. I believe I set myself back walking to work, and that was two weeks ago. I haven't been to the gym, I'm behind on some of my work, I've not cleaned my room, finished cleaning my office, got my taxes ready, done dishes, put away packages that came last week...

I can barely keep my eyes open. My head feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat. My entire body hurts. I want to cry.

This was something I was afraid of about working again -  that I wouldn't be able to keep up with it. My last job was 5 hours, until 1:30. I could go home and nap. This one, the hours aren't conducive to napping. And come next month I'm supposed to start working from 3 days a week to 5. Basically full time. And I still have two other jobs I don't want to give up. That is something I really didn't sign up for in the beginning and I really don't have any choice. We can't afford to hire someone else.

I don't know what to do. I just want to go back to bed. Sometimes I yearn for the days I was a stay at
home mom and could write all day, go to the gym, get the house clean and have dinner on the table by 5 (the Ultimate JFC). I wouldn't say life was easier back then, it had it's stresses, but my body didn't feel like this. My head didn't feel like this.

I wasn't like this.

But now I just have to suck it up and get ready for work (a job in which I do truly love btw) and hope there are not too many phone calls or hard questions. And I just look forward to Friday, a day I don't have to do anything if I don't want to, or I can catch up on the stuff I need to if my body and brain allow it.

The Whole 30: Day 3

I made it this far, but I feel like I can't see straight and that I got hit by a bus. So there's that. I'll
explain that in a bit.

The Whole 30. I didn't really explain it much yesterday, just that I was doing it and why. These are the basics. It's about taking foods out of your diet that have a negative impact on your well being. I'm just going to give you the skinny today. For in-depth commentary, you'll have to visit The Whole 30 website.

1. Don't eat sugar of any kind, real or artificial.
2. No alcohol in any form, even for cooking.
3. Do not eat grains.
4. Do not eat legumes.
5. Do not eat dairy.
6. Do not consume carrageenan, MSG, or sulfites.
7. Do not try to recreate baked goods, junk foods, or treats with The Whole 30 approved foods. That defeats the purpose.(There are a few exceptions, like you can use fruit juice but you can't drink it, you can only use it to sweeten things. You can use ghee or clarified butter. If you're on your death bed you can consume medication with alcohol in it, though they would want you to try to find a natural remedy first. Others you'll find at their website)
8. You are not allowed to step on a scale or take measurements during The Whole 30. Yes. Do it before.
9. You have to do it and be faithful to it for 30 days. If you go off, you start over.

Then there are the first few days. I'm on day 3 and I'm about to explain about my first sentence in this blog.

Day 1: What's the big deal? You're feeling satisfied, it isn't hard. It's a piece of cake. You tell everyone you know about it.
Day 2 & 3: The Hangover. Yes, this is where I am. The pre-Whole 30 food bender of pizza, wine, nachos, margaritas and whatnot is hitting you where it hurts. The amount of bad you feel is proportionate to the amount of bad you ate prior to The Whole 30. Expect headaches, fatigue, and malaise, but don't give up. I took a 2 hours nap and I'm still tired. Drink some water and get through it.
Day 4 & 5: Kill All the Things: For some reason, I'm looking forward to this day. (JK) You are
overcome with the desire to punch people in the face. They have no idea why this happens, but it does. Just warn people in advance and ask forgiveness when it's over. Don't give up.
Day 6 & 7: I Just Want to Nap.  Your body is learning not to rely on those easy access energy sources like sugar and grains. Don't worry, it will learn how to give you fuel in other ways, so don't give up.

Day 8 & 9: For the Love of Gosling, My Pants Are Tighter! The process is still working, your digestion is adjusting. As your body processes this food effectively, you could experience, um, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea. Really, this phase passes quickly, so still, don't give up.
Day 10 & 11: The Hardest Days. Uh, yeah, you thought those previous 9 days were bad, I guess it's going to get worse. You'll get frustrated that the program isn't working it's "magic" yet. You're still establishing your meal routine, you'll start noticing the food you can't have, you'll see what hold food had on you. Find a way to reward yourself that doesn't include food. Yeah, you're intolerable right now, but you're closer. Don't give up.

That's all I'm going to give you. For the rest, visit this page: The Whole 30 Timeline.

So, I was going to mow my law today because I'm sure my neighbors hate me, but I'm not sure I have the energy. I think I'll try anyway.

So yesterday, this is what I ate:

Breakfast
Pork sausage patty
Mushrooms and onions
Banana

Lunch
Chicken thigh
Green salad with tomato, avocado and mushrooms
Topped with Tessamae's Lemon Garlic dressing ( only brand of dressing that's Whole 30 approved, I found it at my local store, but they also have a website. They will also tell you which of their products are Whole 30 approved)
Grapes
I tried Kombucha, but it tasted like butt, so I gave up.

Dinner
Balsamic drizzled pan-seared London Broil (OMG I got it on the "old meat" rack. It was cheap)
Roasted sweet potato wedges
Small spinach salad with tomatoes and strawberries
Topped with Tessamae's Balsamic dressing

I also get tired of drinking plain water. Sometimes I drink water with lemon, but that still gets boring. Yesterday I did this thing to the left here. I added strawberries. It was better. THEN I find out AFTER I sip the liquid of ass Kobucha (and if you see how they make it, you'll see why it tastes like ass) I find out that LaCroix bubbly goodness in every flavor is Whole 30 approved. WTF?!?

Sigh.

Going back to the store today to get some and going to try some of their Mocktails Most of them include fruit juice. Just squeeze fresh fruit into your water or use frozen or fresh fruit instead of the fruit juice.

Until tomorrow when I'll feel like KILLING ALL THE THINGS! Which really isn't so different from a normal day for me.

Frustration

I'm starting this blog without a title because I have a feeling I'm just going to whine and rant without any clear definition of what I'm writing about.

 I suppose that was a warning to you, this is nothing but a rant today...

I was going to title it Feeling Insignificant, but that sounded so pathetic.

But...

Lately I feel like I'm standing still while the whole world is running, gaining a greater and greater lead away from me.

I can't get my work done at work.  I have no many duties I can't keep up.

I can't get my work done at home. I finally did laundry and cleaned my kitchen last night after days.

I've barely written a word in weeks. I have a website I need to work on. A book that needs editing. My fall publication is at a standstill. It almost feels as if it will never get released.

I have no emails, no Facebook comments, no Tweets. This I blame on not having enough time to keep up with the world. No time to interact with my virtual people. People who at one time I'd talk to all day. People I miss.

If I'm not keeping up with the world, how will I possibly make any sales on my next book.

I think it's finally time to balance my world lest the rest of the world pass me by.

But how do you balance it all? I've asked this question before, I know, but I honestly
don't know how people do it. I work, I write, I edit. I coach soccer, attend music gigs and soccer games for my girls. I have a house, a yard, a boyfriend. I kickbox.

And then there's still this sleep issue I have. This utter fatigue that makes me so tired I have to sleep a couple hours during the day which drives me absolutely nuts and takes me away from things I feel I should be doing.

Last night I thought I would write. But after working, then having to take a nap, soccer practice, kickboxing...I had choices. I had piles of laundry to fold and a dirty kitchen, or I could write. I chose the former. I can let my house be in a state of disarray for a little bit, but after a while it nags at me, scratching metaphorical claws on the door of my mind.

I'm only 4200 words into this current book. That saddens me. How can I be a writer if I don't write?

I'm frustrated.

I think I finally found a title for this blog...