Friday, February 15, 2019

V-Day Ponderings

I'm single. Again. For Valentines. The last Valentine's date I remember going on was in 2012. Yes. 2012. If I've had any since them, I don't remember.

Yesterday, on Valentine's Day, I was thinking about how people traditionally celebrate, and I thought to myself, that's not me. It was me at one time, I'm sure. Before. When I was married, freshly single...when I was younger. I guess I used get caught up in the Valentine's Day romance whirlwind. But no, that's not me anymore.

Am I jaded when it comes to romance now? Am I just too old for that shit anymore?  I don't know. I'm not sure what thing inside me changed for me to feel this way.

Last night, on Valentine's night, I went to play trivia at the local bar with single friends. I stated out loud, that even if I had a boyfriend, this is still what I'd want to be doing, how I'd want to spend my Valentine's night. A few drinks, fun and games, hot wings and tater tots...that is the perfect date night for me. Hell, that's the perfect ANY night for me.

I'm not going to get cliche on you with the whole, "we should show our love for each other all year, not just one day," because, duh. But seriously, I don't want someone paying for an overpriced dinner, buying me jewelry I won't wear, and chocolates I won't eat. Okay, maybe I'd eat them, but I wouldn't WANT to. Spending time in an over crowded restaurant full of strangers is not romantic to me. (I'm not mentioning flowers, because flowers is a whole 'nother thing. I love them, but I also buy them for myself when I want them, so there's that.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm over it. I'm over Valentine's Day and its traditions. Maybe I have been for a long time. I mean, I'm still a romantic (I'm a self proclaimed jaded romantic, but a romantic nonetheless), but romance looks very different to me now.

What does it look like? Sitting on the couch watching movies you've seen 1000 times, spouting out our favorite lines? Sitting in front of a fire next to each other on the couch, not even talking, just being in the same space doing our own things? Talking smack during a heated game of Yahtzee or cribbage? Cooking together and laughing at other people's expense? Staying in bed all day with Netflix, pizza, and wine? Yes. All that.

So, keep your extravagant, store-bought signs of affection, your gooey greeting card, and your expensive dinners. Give me your time and your respect. Write me a love letter or tell me how you feel. Give of yourself, not your wallet. Make me laugh. Especially make me laugh. That's what it looks like. That is me. And that is romantic.

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