Planes, Trains, and Automobiles...

You really can't talk about a vacation without talking about the travel itself, right? Whether you're driving, flying, training (training?) there always seems to be some drama.

For instance, on our flight from Orange County to Portland, OR, we were in line to get on the plane, and this older couple that looked like they had just come from the country club comes up to us and says haughtily (yes, I used an adverb, sue me) "We're riding first class, may we get in front of you?"

Okay, number one, they called first class about fifteen minutes prior, if you're not there on time, in my opinion, you miss your privilege of early boarding. So, I was about to give Mr. and Mrs. Howell what for, but Rusty stopped me and said, "Sure, go ahead." >:(

These people wavered back and forth between either just hopping in the now empty first class line or in front of us. Who effin' cares? Just go already.

Now here's the kicker, by coincidence they were doing extra security screening at our gate. This couple finally decides to hop in front of us and guess what. Lovey gets taken aside for the extra screening. Can you say Karma? If we wouldn't have let them cut, it would have been me. And her bastard of a husband left her there and got on the plane without her. Rich people.

I've had other strange flying experiences, like trying to get on an airplane in an ice storm, having our flight canceled, and on the way home having my dad call and tell us he found us another flight. So we turn around and go back. Planes are still delayed. We're in the airport for a good 4 or 5 hours with a 6 month old, who was perfect by the way, and an angry mob from Oakland because our flight to AZ had um, borrowed their flight to Oakland.

You know what really irritates me? Parents who put their kids at one end of the plane and sit at another. On our honeymoon this happened. And it's because their kids are so horrible they don't want to be near them. And these little dears were sitting right behind us. Needless to say, they were obnoxious and our chairs were constantly getting kicked. When the milk flew up between my husband and my seat, we'd had enough. Rusty scared the crap out of them. They were quiet the rest of the flight. It was a while ago, but I think he may have had word with the parents too. I think I try to repress the memory as best I can. Nice romantic honeymoon flight, huh?

There was also the time I was flying from Jackson Hole Wyoming. Small airport = small plane. I don't like to fly first of all, small planes makes it worse second of all, but add a thunder and lightning storm to the mix, and well, it becomes terrifying. The plane literally felt like a pendulum swaying back and forth in the wind. I hadn't prayed for years up to that point, but I'll tell you what, my Catholic upbringing came flooding back, and I said a whole rosary on that flight. I nearly kissed the ground when we landed.

I could go on and on, like the fact that I get motion sickness on trains and cars, but that's not a pretty story. So, I leave you with that. Do you have any bad travel stories?

Kisses

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Megan

Lessons Learned From Disney Characters

Disney movies are morality tales. They all offer something we can learn from, take out into the world, become a better person. Here are some important lessons from some classic Disney characters.

Simba: If you run away from your responsibilities, it may come back to bite you in the ass.

Pinocchio: Lying makes you look stupid and turns you into a total jack ass.

Belle: You can be a brunette and have a brain in your head and still get the guy.

Beast: Ugly is as ugly does.

Nemo: Youthful rebellion may land you in a bit of hot water (or a grungy fish tank or a jail cell).

Goofy: You don't have to settle for the hand you're dealt. Learn to walk and talk and you'll be more than just another dog. (He is a dog, right?)

Alice: If you eat, drink, and smoke things you don't recognize, you're probably in for a strange day.

Snow White: Don't take candy from strangers (or apples, how stupid is she, weren't we all taught this as kids?)

Numerous Disney Characters: Step-mothers are heinous bitches.

Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty: You don't really need to better your situation, eventually a prince will come along and do it for you. Then he owns you.

Disney Princesses: Guys: are they really worth it? Poison apples, lost voices, evil spells? I mean, really? You don't need a man to define you and you'd be better off alone then in an endless coma.

{Disclaimer: Statements in this blog are supposed to be seen as humorous. The owner of this blog does not necessarily think these are good lessons to live by, though some have merit. If you have issue with anything in this blog, please call 1-800-get-bent}

I hope this was helpful.

Thanks for reading.

Kisses

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Megan

How to Keep your Sanity in Disneyland

I'm not kidding. Seriously. You have to play Disney smart or you will stand in line and go crazy and spend every dime in your bank account.

Book through Disney. You get opportunities otherwise not offered. We got souvenir tickets, which also allowed us to use the fast pass, which I'll talk about more later. We were able to book a shuttle from the airport to our hotel and back, and we were able to get tram passes that picked us up right in front of our hotel and took us to the park and back. There are other options as well, character calls, dining packages, etc etc. Also, we stayed in a good neighbor hotel as opposed to the Disney Resort. This saved us about $1000. Now, if you're hell bent on staying at the Resort, go ahead, it is sweet, right in the middle of the park. If we did it again, we would probably save the money and do it, but this time, we wanted to take it easy on our bank account.

We arrived on a Monday night. We debated going to the park or not that first night, and decided to go. Good decision. We practically walked right in to Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, and Splash Mountain. Three of the most popular attractions at the park. Rides are less busy later at night, or during the parades or the fireworks. That first night we stayed until about 11:00 pm.

The fast pass. These things are awesome. If you've never heard of them, basically you go to a ride (only the most popular ones offer the fast pass) and go to the fast pass distribution. You put your Disneyland (henceforth DL) ticket in and out pops a ticket telling you what time to come back to the ride. It can be anywhere from an hour to six hours for the most popular rides (we got a fast pass for Space Mountain around noon and it told us to come back at 7:30). The beauty is, you get to hop in the fast pass line, you do have to wait a little sometimes, but a fifteen minute wait beats an hour wait.

So what we would do, is get to the park, ride one of our favorite rides, because they aren't too busy in the morning, then grab a fast pass for it. We'd then find the rides with 30 minutes or less wait and ride on those while waiting for our fast pass time. Go ride our ride, get a fast pass for another, and lather, rinse, repeat. You have to be careful, the REALLY popular rides like Indiana Jones and Space Mountain actually run out of fast passes for the day, you if you want to ride those, you need to get your passes early.

Needless to say, we had ridden every ride we wanted to ride within our first 2 1/2 days there. The rest was just reriding, catching shows, and parades.

The only ride we had difficulty getting on was Little Nemo's submarine ride. It ALWAYS had a line, and there was no fast pass available. So, with our DL package, we received a voucher to get into the park early one day. We used that opportunity to get in line for that ride. We still had to wait 30 minutes, but it was worth it, and that was a short wait for that ride in comparison.

I really have nothing to say about the food. You have to eat. You can bring your own, but we didn't feel the need to haul a backpack through the park, so we bought lunch and dinner usually. Now, our hotel gave us breakfast vouchers, so we actually got to eat breakfast three times for free. The other two days, we ate fiber bars we brought from home. AND we had a Starbucks in our lobby. That was a perk. You can pretty much forget about eating healthy at the park. But on average, if you're there for 12 hours a day, which we were, you're going to be walking ten miles a day. So, it doesn't really matter what you eat. You'll work it off.

As far as the shows go, like the rides, if you get there during parades and such, they're going to be empty, but we didn't really have to wait in line for shows.

The last thing is souvenirs. We bought almost everything the last couple days after perusing every store. And we didn't buy much, that will easily drain your account. Each girl got a sweatshirt, and I got a t-shirt and knit hat (totally cute Jack stuff). Rusty (the husband) opted for nothing.

We also bought some items across the street at Target to cut costs from room service and vending machines (an $8 bottle of wine as opposed to a $28 one at the hotel restaurant).

If you want to see the parades, you have to get there early, and claim your seat. And it's easier to find a seat at the end of the parade route than anywhere else.

I think that's all the tips I have. Though I had complaints (see yesterdays blog) we did have a blast, and I think we did both parks wisely.

Favorite Rides:
Screamin' California
Soaring Over California
Thunder Mountain
Indiana Jones
Pirates of the Caribbean

Least Favorite Rides:
Roger Rabbit
Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blaster
Autopia (totally lame and a really long line)

Favorite shows:
It's Tough to be a Bug 4d
Aladdin

Favorite parade:
Pixar Parade
Electrical Parade

Favorite food:
Thunder Ranch BBQ (we had to wait for an hour, but it was worth it, all you can eat bbq)

Thanks for reading

Kisses

:*

Megan

Disneyland

I just got back. It's the reason I couldn't blog last week. Five fun filled days at Disneyland and California Adventure. But while my family had a blast, there are definitely irritations, annoyances, and other distractions.

Things I saw too much of in Disneyland:

Lines. Some people waited up to two hours (that was the posted wait, I'm sure in reality it was longer) Thank god for the fast pass. Never go to Disney without one. With a fast pass you get a time to come back and you get in a special line and zip right through with hardly any wait at all. The longest we waited was about thirty minutes.

Screaming spoiled kids. Seriously parents, teach your kids a lesson, don't buy them the Goofy ears, or the ice cream cone, or let them ride the tea cups if they're throwing a fit. Take their ass outside the park until they calm down. That's what the hand stamps are for. Well, not specifically I guess, but it's a good way to use them. By the end of the trip I had vowed to become a hermit if only to stay away from the chance I might hear another screaming child.

Any chance to make a buck. They're around every corner. T-shirts, mouse ears, hats, gloves, stuffed animals, games, slushies, ice cream, cotton candy, balloons, lighted necklaces, pins, lanyards, it's endless. Commercialization hath vomited throughout the Land of Disney. Don't get me wrong, I totally bought into it, a little. We actually tried to be frugal, but it's nearly impossible when your spending $5 on an ice cream cone, and $50 on a sweatshirt.

Rude people. Cutting, standing in front of you, walking into you, letting their children do the same. I cannot stand rude people.

Bad food choices. The best the park offered was salads. Salads with an over abundance of cheese and fatty dressings. Salads that were double the size anyone really needs to eat. Other than that it was the usual choices, burgers, fries, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, etc. We were going to have a sit down dinner in the Blue Bayou, which is a restaurant that overlooks the Pirates of the Caribbean, but after seeing that each meal was $30 (which if course didn't include beverages, or tip, or tax) we canceled. Like we weren't spending enough money.

Fat people driving motorized carts. Okay, you may think me rude, but this sight bothers me. You're so fat you can't walk, yet, you don't walk so you're fat. AND these people get preferential treatment on rides as if they're in a wheel chair or had some other kind of disability. I saw a woman coming into a ride, she probably weighed about 350 pounds, and was riding a cart, using the wheel chair access, and ten minutes later she was walking behind the cart while one of her kids drove it. Um, if you can actually walk, get your ass to the end of the line.

Okay, it sounds like I'm bitching, but we really did have a good time. Tomorrow I'll give you some tips on how to get the most out of the parks.

Kisses

:*

Megan

ABNA Review...and they're not good.

Since I really haven't had time to blog this week. I thought I would post the two reviews I received from the ABNA contest. They are horrible, so brace yourself. The good thing, they like my writing, the bad thing, they hated my book. LOL.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

This excerpt was okay to read. It moved at a good pace and had some well drawn characters that seemed realistic to a point. The author did a good job with the overall piece with technical details, pace, plot, and puncuation. These aspects of the excerpt are done well.

What aspect needs the most work?

I think the language and content of this excerpt are a bit too spicy for young adults. I remember a book my teenage daughter began reading that was liberally sprinkled with profanity, she gave it to me and said it didn't appeal to her. Young adult would be 18 years old or younger and I can't say this would appeal to my 18 year old daughter who is in college either. The category for this piece should be general fiction and not YA. This piece deals with more adult situations and not your average teenage experience in high school. It's also not surprising what horrible thing is going to happen with the craziness of the kids of the school and the sudden attitude change of the character, Matt. I think the story had some fine ideas but it was written with so much content over the top that it was obvious what is going to happen, therefore it lacked originality.

This was all a generalized, stereotypical view of bullies, underacheivers, and cheerleaders of high school that doesn't represent reality as a whole. I think the story could be told better if it was told in a way that wasn't so obvious to the reader.



There really wasn't much that was fresh and imaginative in this piece it was all fairly cliche and didn't have the shock value I think the author was trying to give the writing. It was just about some mean perverted teens picking on the outcasts that finally get enough.

I think the author has enough talent to write real stories that have meaning but I don't think this story is the one. The author should create something new and exciting and has the talent but it was wasted in this overly dramatic piece.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

I think this author has a talent for writing, however, it wasn't showcased in this excerpt. I think this piece belonged more to general fiction category than young adult fiction. I found it too over the top to be fresh and original and I knew what was going to happen from the first page of the excerpt. While these types of things happen in high school at times, it was a bit generalized and cliche and the narrative gave too much information too fast as to how awful the bullying kids were and it all seemed a little ridiculous.
Everything in the piece was a little too obivous for it to be an interesting story.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The strongest aspect of this excerpt is the author’s technically proficient writing. The grammar is good with only a few minor typos or spelling errors.

What aspect needs the most work?

Many aspects of this excerpt need work. On the technical side, there are too many personalities. In just these few pages, the author puts us into the viewpoints of five different people. Even worse, almost all of these personalities are horrible. Not horribly written (again, the writing is quite good): just horrible personalities. Worse, these characters are doing horrible things. Even worse is that all of these horrible things pale before the atrocity that the author uses as the hook.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Overall, this is a pretty bad excerpt. Technically, the author does a very good job with his writing. But, his choice of material makes me ill from having read it. Since one of the things I’m supposed to rate this excerpt on is whether *I* would want to read more (and I certainly don’t), when I average out the numbers I have to rate this as simply pretty bad.

LOL.

Kisses

:*

Megan