Monkey Madness Monday: I'm online dating again

Well, kind of. I haven't officially gone on any dates yet.

I sound like a total bitch in my profile. But much like the publishing world, in the dating world, I've become a bit jaded. I don't want to drive 30 minutes to go on a date. I don't want to date a guy with a dog. I don't want to date a guy with little kids when mine are a couple years to being out of the house. I don't want to date a guy looking for a bride when I'm not sure I ever want to get married again.

When Plenty of Fish puts my matches on the screen I say "Dafuq?" What the hell are they thinking? Do they even read my parameters?

And they ask if I'd date a guy who smokes or does drugs, but I think they should ask if I'd date a guy with pets, or body odor, or halitosis, or who swears socks with sandals.

And there are people who don't put pics of themselves on their profiles. They put pictures of their dogs (automatic "no" for me), or sunsets, or no pic at all. Now how the hell am I supposed to know if I want to date you if I don't even know what you look like? I mean, looks aren't every think I know, but there has to be some kind of physical attraction? I tell them I want something between all american boy and quasimodo.

And honestly, I don't think they even read my profile. Because when they write me and I look at their profiles it's like um, lives more than 10 miles away - check. Dog - check. Small children - check. Tries to IM me (which I say on my profile I won't do) - check.

I do have a guy I've been texting. And he does seem to be Mr. Right Now, which is what I'm looking for. I don't want a relationship, I just want to date. I don't want to feel like a cat lady (I don't have cats). I need some Megan time, some Megan + kid time, some writing time, some get healthy and fit time.

With only a little date time on the side, but one to my liking.

F³A: Jaded

I think that's what I've become. Jaded. Jaded about the publishing industry. I know I shouldn't bitch this much, but when you keep hearing about reviews and awards and contests and book deals yadda yadda yadda, for some of us, at times it becomes too much. Especially those of us whose experience was perhaps less than ideal. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had some great experiences too. I met some AWESOME writers and made some AMAZING connections. I received OUTSTANDING reviews from INCREDIBLE readers, bloggers, reviewers, etc. It's the process, the lack of backing that has made me jaded.

Am I whining? Um, yeah, I suppose so. Am I jealous? Um, yeah I guess. Am I exhausted, tired, and frustrated? Definitely. That's why I want to go it alone. I want to try my hand at it myself and see if I get the same results or better. If I can do it myself and get the same results, why throw myself into the lion's den, ya know?

And I know I'm probably pissing some non published writers off right now, thinking I should be happy I was published. Don't get me wrong. I am, that is a HUGE accomplishment and it's not my intention to piss you off. I'm just speaking from my mind, my heart, and my soul. This is my experience. Not everyone's will be the same. Losing an agent mid-year and not having that support really sucked. It closes a lot of options.

I know this is something I need to get over, right now I just don't know how. Maybe putting this book out will help, will give me some of the peace I'm looking for you know, because I don't like feeling this way. It's painful and ugly and not someone I like to be.

Anyway, I think I'll stop ranting and give you my Friday Scribbles now.

Next in the Pandora Lineup:

Netflix of the Week: Submarine awesome quirky coming of age movie.

Book of the Week: Fellow 2k12er Katy Longshore's follow up to Gilt, Tarnish, came out this week, check it out.

Quote of the Week: "I find that it's nice to work with somebody and spin off on someone else's feelings. You get a little jaded by yourself." ~ Herb Alpert