A Tuesday rant from me to you: sometimes online dating sucks

For a couple days I've been talking to this guy. He wrote me first. He seemed like a nice guy. Lived a
little further away then I prefer, but he didn't have any pets, which is good because I'm allergic, and he stated that all his kids are over the age of 18, which it states on my profile I prefer if they have kids they are 12 and older.

He found me interesting, called me things like "awesome"  "beautiful" "kind" and he said my honesty in my profile was "noble" and "you don't even sound rude in it". That comes into play later.

He looked pretty cute in his pics. He had one at his daughters wedding, then he had one with this little boy, which I assumed was his grandson. Then we were talking (messaging) one day and he mentioned that he was "fighting for the boy in the picture. I asked who the kid was, and he said, "my son" . I asked how old, he said...wait for it...5.

Um...

...all my children are over the age of 18...

...um...

...dafuq?

So, I happen to say I felt a little duped by the fact that on his profile he said his kids were all basically adults when he has a kid that's 5. Need I remind you my profile clearly states, and this is a direct quote from my profile, "Please have children over the age of 12 (give or take a year)" Give or take a year does not mean 5. If I'm doing my math right, um, that's 7 years. 

Then he tells me I'm giving him drama and that he enjoyed reading my profile, though he found it a little harsh (see above about me being noble and not even rude). And that saying he duped me was a big turn off and no woman would matter more than his child. yadda yadda yadda.

Um...drama? or...honesty, which initially he found...what was the word? Noble. Which he wasn't being saying all kids were adults. Last time I checked 5 wasn't an adult.

I explained that having teenagers allowed me certain freedoms of travel, not having to find babysitters, doing what I want when I want basically, and I didn't want to be bogged down by small children. Again, just being honest. I also apologized that he felt I was attacking him with my honesty and left it at that to which he said he just wanted someone who wants him for him. Fine. Go find someone who wants a liar. I"m cool with that. Been there, done that.

Um, kooky pants? Yes or no?

Monkey Madness Monday: I'm online dating again

Well, kind of. I haven't officially gone on any dates yet.

I sound like a total bitch in my profile. But much like the publishing world, in the dating world, I've become a bit jaded. I don't want to drive 30 minutes to go on a date. I don't want to date a guy with a dog. I don't want to date a guy with little kids when mine are a couple years to being out of the house. I don't want to date a guy looking for a bride when I'm not sure I ever want to get married again.

When Plenty of Fish puts my matches on the screen I say "Dafuq?" What the hell are they thinking? Do they even read my parameters?

And they ask if I'd date a guy who smokes or does drugs, but I think they should ask if I'd date a guy with pets, or body odor, or halitosis, or who swears socks with sandals.

And there are people who don't put pics of themselves on their profiles. They put pictures of their dogs (automatic "no" for me), or sunsets, or no pic at all. Now how the hell am I supposed to know if I want to date you if I don't even know what you look like? I mean, looks aren't every think I know, but there has to be some kind of physical attraction? I tell them I want something between all american boy and quasimodo.

And honestly, I don't think they even read my profile. Because when they write me and I look at their profiles it's like um, lives more than 10 miles away - check. Dog - check. Small children - check. Tries to IM me (which I say on my profile I won't do) - check.

I do have a guy I've been texting. And he does seem to be Mr. Right Now, which is what I'm looking for. I don't want a relationship, I just want to date. I don't want to feel like a cat lady (I don't have cats). I need some Megan time, some Megan + kid time, some writing time, some get healthy and fit time.

With only a little date time on the side, but one to my liking.

Monkey Madness Monday: 2013 Bring it on!

It's the end of another year. Yowza, was it crazy. Here's why:

1.  Debut, um, 'nuf said?
2.  Class of 2k12. One of the best things about the year.
3. My friends Gae and Annemarie visited from NY for my debut, other best thing that happened this year.
4. Had to get out of my comfort zone for the numerous school visits, bookstore and library events I participated in.
5. Marketing, ugh.
6.  Online dating, um, yeah, crazy would be a good word though doesn't quite grasp the absoluteness of the craziness.
7.  Parted ways with my agent, the quest to find a new one.
8. Both kids in high school. When the hell did I get that old?
9. Thing One driving, a blessing and a curse.
10. Awesome trips, AZ, NY, the ocean, Portland...
11. Two rewrites, two new books, no 2nd book deal. :( (not yet)
12. Insomnia. ARG!
13. Lots of good books read (okay, lots for me, which is probably a drop to some of you)
14. New BF. I think this one's a keeper. 

Now, for the resolutions. I like to compare the new with the old, see my successes, find my shortcomings, plan for the future accordingly. So here we go...


Health:
Last year's goals - exercise more, 3 days a week at least work up to 5 hopefully. Healthier eating habits. 30 minutes of quiet reflection a day.

Results -  I didn't entirely fail on my health goals. I did exercise more. I walked a lot, bought a bike and biked quite a bit when the weather was decent. I started kickboxing. I feel good about it. I'd say I did the 3 a week mostly. Didn't quite make it to 5, only some weeks. I still eat pretty healthy. Quiet reflection? Not so much.

2013 goal - Keep up with the exercise, 3-5 times a week. Keep up with the healthier eating, cut down on my wine *sheds tear*. While I didn't give myself a weight goal last year, I really would like to drop some weight. I'm not going to put a number on it, just going to leave it at that. Quiet reflection...hmmm...I think I'll try this again. 30 minutes a day, huh? I'll try.

Writing:
Last year's goals - Finish rewrite (Dissected), write 2 books. I know those are lofty goals, but I think I can do it if I set my mind to it, set priorities, and plan my time better.

Results - I finished the rewrite. I also finished a major rewrite of another book and wrote 30k at Nano toward another book. So I didn't quite reach the goal, but I still feel okay about it. The major rewrite was essentially like writing a whole new book, and 30k is nothing to sneeze at.


2013 goals - Finish nano project, write 2 more books. yes, again lofty, but if I put my mind to it, I know I can do it. I also need to make some decisions. I've been contemplating 1) Entering ABNA 2) Self publishing 3) Finding an agent. I need to shit or get off the pot. I truly believe you will see another novel by yours truly on the shelves within the next two years whether it's self published or no.

Life:
Last year's goals -Figuring out how to balance work, writing, kids, and all the other pleasures in life. Reading more, staying organized, travel more.


Results - Balance? I think I did okay, though would like to do better.
I read. I actually, without realizing until just now, reached my goal of one a month. I know I read at least twelve books. Gathering Storm, Scarlet, May B., Velveteen, Breathe of Eyre, The Wicked and the Just, Breaking Beautiful, Love and Leftovers, Hunger Games, Okay for Now, Inside Out and Back Again, Hooked...look at that. That's thirteen. :) That's all I can remember and probably all I've read unless you count self help and diet books, which I don't.
Organization? Um, I just cleaned my office. It was bad. So I'd say no. Fail.
Travel. As you see from my above list, I got some places. I'm good with it.


2013 goals - Probably the same. Keep balance, keep reading, keep organized, keep traveling.

Love:
Last year's goals - To learn to love myself unconditionally, accept the things about me that cannot be changed, and try to change the things that are under my control. To accept that I am human and therefore fallible. Try not to be too hard on myself when I fail, trust myself as well as those around me. Instead of trying so hard to find happiness, I will let it seek me out.

Results - Well, love myself? Mostly I think. Accept and change, I suppose. Too hard on myself? Trust? I still have issues I suppose. Sometimes my behavior disappoints me. I can't help it. Others? I think I mostly trust others, but at times I'm too trusting. I let people take advantage of me, my heart, my generosity and kindness.  Letting happiness find me. I suppose I may have tried to hard at first, but then I let it go. And guess what, it found me and right now at this moment on the last day of 2012 I can truly say that while life can be frustrating and stressful...I am happy.  Happier then I've been for a very long time.


2013 goals - Continue to love myself and others to the best of my abilities. Remember that I am fallible and will make mistakes, but it is just a part of life, who I am, and who I will be. As long as I keep growing and learning from the mistakes I make, it's fine. I need to continue to trust in myself and others, but I also need to be more careful when doing this and now not everyone has my best interests at heart. And I will continue to let happiness happen.

Happy New Year all. I for one am excited for the new year. There are things churning in my world that I'm excited about and cannot wait for the new year to begin. It's my wish for you that 2013 be filled with adventure, hope, bliss, and love.

Stay safe and sane. Do your driving sober. Peace.