Let's talk about Trump

 Photo © Mike Licht

Jeremy Nix wrote an open letter to his friends that support Trump and it was posted on the Huffington Post. I think in this letter, Jeremy articulates things many of us are feeling. You can go read his letter, but I am going to summarize some things that I believe are the best reasons not to vote for The Donald, and of course, add my own rant.

Donald Trump, if you really listen to him, this is what you'll hear...

Photo © Michael Vadon edited by Megan Bostic

He wants all the Muslims kept out of America because, terrorism. The pilgrims first came here for religious freedom (though it actually took awhile for them to get it). Everyone who lives here is not a Christian. There are Atheists, Agnostics, Wiccans, and yes, Muslims. Islam is really not that different than Christianity. They believe in one god, angels, prophets, prayer, faith, giving...Yes, there are a few Muslims that do terrible things in the name of Allah. But there are bad people in every bunch. Americans are shooting other Americans because of religion, color, culture, and for no reason at all, but let's block an entire religion from entering our country because they're probably terrorists. WTF?!? And the ones who are already here? Registration.

If Trump gets his way, every non Christian will have to bear some kind of mark so people know that they share a different belief system. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Trump is a modern day Hitler.

Trump is also a misogynist. He insults, belittles and marginalizes us. He calls women fat and ugly. He appreciates beautiful women, but not in a healthy way. He treats them like possessions. For instance, in his book Trump 101: The Way to Success, he lumps our beauty and elegance in the same category as buildings and works of art. We are nothing more than objects for him to admire, but not if we're fat and ugly.

As far as sexual assault goes, he's within the "boys will be boys" ideology. He tweeted the following about sexual assaults in the military:

"What did they expect would happen when they put men and women together?" 

Um, maybe that rape is vile and illegal and should not be an option? 

He think women need to rely on sexual appeal in business, that female journalists need to be hot, that we're tricksters and gold diggers... I could go on and on about what a giant douchebag misogynist Trump is, but I fear it would take an entire blog.

I don't know how any woman can consider voting for Trump. He will strip our rights away. He would reverse Roe v Wade, shut down Planned Parenthood, and forget about equality in the workplace, insurance covered birth control, paid maternity leave and anything else that would empower us. Anyone sporting a vagina is not on his list of priorities, and truly, seems to not even be human to The Donald.

He wants to build the Great Wall of 'Merica. He wants to keep Mexicans out. This country was built on the backs of immigrants. None of us are native to this land aside from those who were here before the white man came. Those from Mexico do the jobs no one wants to do and they're damn good at them. They're hard workers. Many of them pay taxes. He thinks all immigrants are thieves, rapists and thugs. Can you say, stereotyping? Profiling? Racism? I knew that you could.

He believes we don't have a gun problem, we have a mental health problem. I say we have a problem with both. Our country has too many guns. But Trump believes guns save lives and we should have no limits. He believes gun ownership makes our country safer. Tell that to all the victims of mass shootings. He believes gun violence is inevitable, so regulating them would be futile. Are you fucking kidding me? The statistics and facts are out there. Less guns, less gun death. Period.

And the newest Trumpism, he wants to get rid of the First Amendment. WTF? He wants to take away our freedom of speech, our freedom of religion,  the freedom of press and peaceable assembly. He wants to punish people for speaking or writing opinions or truths. He wants to take away the rights of our faiths, beliefs, and the way we worship. He is a true Nazi.

How can his followers not see how dangerous he is for our country? He is a hate monger. If he's elected we will be at war in the blink of an eye. He's like a child that can't wait to blow some shit up. I honestly would not be surprised if we ended up in a civil war during a Trump presidency. 

He wants make America great again. Which time period was that exactly? Before gay people had the right to marry? The years we sent our troops overseas to die for needless wars? Before women could decide what they could do with their own bodies?  When Japanese Americans were thrown into prison camps and Italians had curfews? When women belonged in the home, having babies, making sure dinner was on the table and a martini was waiting for hubby when he came home from a long day at work? Before women and blacks had the right to vote? When we still owned slaves? Are these the great times of which Trump speaks?

This country has had moments of greatness. The Separation of Church and State, as that's really when religious freedom really began. The signing of the Declaration of Independence. The Ratification of the Constitution. The Emancipation Proclamation freeing the slaves. Immigration at the turn of the century when we became a melting pot. Women's Suffrage. The Civil Right Act of 1964. When Armstrong walked on the moon. Desegregation. Affirmative Action. Americans with Disabilities Act. Electing the first black president. These are the moments that has made our country the greatest - When we come together to work for a better America.

What Trump is already doing and will continue to do is tear us apart. He is a loud bully, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, homophobic racist. He will be cancerous to society as we know it. A Trump presidency will destroy us and it may take a long time for America to recover, if ever.

The Hollywood Double Standard

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Maggie Gyllenhaal was recently told that she was too old to play the lover of a 55 year old man. She's 37. It's a never ending trend in Hollywood that men get lead rolls well into their *cough* senior years, while as women age, their choice of rolls get smaller and smaller.

A quote by Lillian Gish, "Lionel Barrymore first played my grandfather, later my father, and finally he played my husband. If he'd lived I'm sure I'd have played his mother. That's the way it is in Hollywood. The men get younger, the women get older."

The following was detailed in Vulture.com, but I'll do a little summary of their findings.

Denzel Washington: Ages were fairly close in Mo' Better Blues (35), Malcolm X (37) and The Preacher's Wife (41), then as he ages, his love interests get younger. He Got Game, he was 43, his love interest Milla Jovovich was 22. Training Day, 46 to Eva Mendez's 27. Deja vu, 51 to Paula Patton's 30. That's just naming a few, but the trend is the same.

Harrison Ford: The difference in age for Mr. Ford starts as early back as Empire Strikes Back with him at age 37 and Carrie Fisher 23. From there his onscreen love life ranges from Sean Young at 22 (to his 39 in Bladrunner) to Virginia Madsen at 44 (63, Firewall).

Now Richard Gere has had an older love interest. Once. In 2004 with Susan Sarandon. The rest of his love interests range from 5 years younger (Debra Winger, 27, An Officer and a Gentleman) to 29 (Laetitia Casta, 34, Arbitrage).

Liam Neeson by Karen Seto

Ok, one more. Liam Neeson. He actually  had two older love interests. Jessica Lange and Meryl Streep, I mean, hello. Of course, that last one was back in 1996 and those two were still lead actresses at the time. Other than that, his onscreen love interests range from 5 years (Frances McDormand, 33, Darkman) to a whopping 32 years (Olivia Wilde, 29 Third Person).

The site also runs through Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Steve Carell, George Clooney, Tom Cruise. Some of them don't have huge differences and have dated older women in films, but for the most part, the trend is the opposite.

What is this teaching us about society? What is this teaching our children? Girls, you better land a man before you hit 40 because after that you'll be lucky to find someone your own age. Boys, don't worry about your age, there will always be a woman out there for you, probably 20-30 years your junior, if you know what I mean.

Um, really?

Seriously, I think this translates to real life sometimes. When I was doing the online dating thing, most men my age were looking for women at least 10 years younger than them. Wow. Does that mean I have to go up 10 years to find someone to date?

There are plenty of actresses over 40 who can still carry a lead  and realistically get a younger guy.

1. Monica Belluci

   

   Monica Belucci by Tsui

2. Cameron Diaz
3. Gwyneth Paltrow
4. Julianne Moore
5. Sandra Bullock
6. Catherine Zeta Jones
7. Framke Janssen
8. Halle Berry
9. Jennifer Aniston
10. Jennifer Connelly
11. Julia Roberts
12. Meryl Streep
13. Helen Mirren
14. Naomi Watts
15. Nicole Kidman
16. Salma Hayak
17. Cate Blanchett
18. Jane Lynch
19. Diane Lane
20. Jodie Foster

There are SO many more.

Lara Flynn Boyle before & after plastic surgery

It's no wonder these already beautiful women get plastic surgery to keep up with Hollywood standards. Some of them in their 20s and 30s!  And some of these ladies look much worse for wear or totally unrecognizable. Go look up before and after pics of Daryl Hannah, Lindsey Lohan, Lara Flynn Boyle, Rene Zellwegger, Melanie Griffith, Kim Novack, Goldie Hawn...unfortunately, this list could go on and on too.

So, Hollywood is telling women that natural beauty is not enough. You need big boobs, and artificial beauty to be taken seriously. Looking at these photos, all I see is a bunch of beautiful women that now look like some semblance of the Joker - high cheeked, fat lipped clones of each other.

This trend is a complete double standard. Hollywood needs to stop being a bunch of mysoginistic sexists and let the ladies have some fun with a younger lover. What do they think is going to happen? Armageddon? Do they really think they're going to kill sales? Wrong. Women will eat this shit up.

Hmmm, maybe there's a book in there somewhere.

YA and Sexism: The virtual vilification of Andrew Smith

Twitter has been blowing up lately over an interview Andrew Smith,  author of YA books such as Winger, Grasshopper Jungle and the Marbury Lens, did for Vice. The article is called, The Failure of Male Societies: Author Andrew Smith Tackles Monsters and Sex. His interview had female bloggers calling him out as a sexist and misogynist.

In particular, it was just one answer. This one:

Q. On the flip side, it sometimes seems like there isn’t much of a way into your books for female readers. Where are all the women in your work?

A: I was raised in a family with four boys, and I absolutely did not know anything about girls at all. I have a daughter now; she’s 17. When she was born, that was the first girl I ever had in my life. I consider myself completely ignorant to all things woman and female. I’m trying to be better though.

 A lot of The Alex Crow is really about the failure of male societies. In all of the story threads, there are examples of male-dominated societies that make critical errors, whether it’s the army that Ariel falls in with at the beginning, or the refugee camp, or Camp Merrie-Seymour for boys, or the doomed arctic expedition, they’re all examples of male societies that think that they’re doing some kind of noble mission, and they’re failing miserably.

 So, that's a big deal, right? OMG! I can't believe he said that!!! Um...right. Women were having a fit because Andrew Smith says he doesn't get women. I tweeted this:

I mean, seriously? Isn't it a well known fact that men don't get women. And honestly, I don't get men, so there's that.

One Tweeter mocked him SEVERAL times. Wow. Um...I just don't know what to say about all that except, you have too much time on your hands.

A blogger stated that it "assumes that men and masculinity are the default settings

for humanity." Really? If that's what that statement is assuming then I'm reading it wrong. She goes on to say that "Saying 'I'm trying' is not the same as trying." She thinks that by supporting Smith and saying he was just being honest "let's those with privilege off the hook." WTF? Can you say, read too much into something? Jesus.

Yet another: "The interpretation is that women are less than human, or at the very least, inherently different from men. That is one of the oldest sexist arguments in the entire world." Uh, how does one one interpret his statement translate into this?


Last one I'll share: "This is an astounding claim to make and one that exacerbates a lot of pernicious misogynistic attitudes, in the publishing industry and society at large." Does it really? Misogynistic? Come on!

Okay, one more, but I don't remember where I read it, but she said something to the effect that "how can he come up with all these fantasy/fiction ideas and not understand women?" I'm paraphrasing of course, but it was something like that. Um, last time I checked, these were two completely different things. Women are carbon based and living. Fantasy books are make believe and pure fiction.

I would call myself a feminist. I'm a huge proponent of women's rights and equality. But I was not offended by this interview in any way.  I truly do think people have nothing better to do than find fault that isn't there.  I think just as some women are more comfortable writing female characters, Andrew Smith is more comfortable writing from the male POV.

This is what I think about Smith's statement.

Andrew Smith:

• was being completely honest with his feelings.
• writes quirky books about boys.
• is writing what he wants to and what he knows and should write because he's brilliant at it.
• says he doesn't get girls, not that he doesn't not want to get girls.(Big. Difference.)

Also: 

• female readers LOVE his books.
• I believe saying your trying is trying.
• We all don't write everything perfectly.
• Most these bloggers took what he said out of context and did not post that 2nd paragraph of his answer, which explains a lot.
• The interviewer set him up to answer in that way.
• Just because you have the imagination to write the way Smith does, does not mean you have insight to everything on the planet.
• If you read the article he also says he grew up with 3 brothers, no sisters and his parents were abusive. The only woman in your life is abusive. So, doesn't it make some sense that Smith doesn't "get" girls.

This was a virtual witch hunt on Twitter. I love Twitter, but I don't like when things like this happen. Especially to good people. I cannot vouch that Smith is "good" but many people defending him know him personally and say as such and I believe them.

Another thing,  why do some writers, and I'm generalizing, I know, but most the bloggers I know also write...anyway, why do some writers feel the need to cut each other down? This business is hard and cruel enough as it is without us fighting each other. Why do we have to seek the worst in our colleagues? We're not really in competition, I mean to a point I guess, but we should be supporting each other, lifting each other up, not keeping each other down.

This vilification of Smith forced him to shut down his Twitter and Facebook. I hope it's only temporary because I like seeing his posts and I really do think he's brilliant. - even if he doesn't "get" girls.