50 Shades of Twitter Trolls

If you follow Twitter and the literary world, you've probably heard that EL James was the brunt of a Twitter attack . If you don't know who EL James is, you at least know her books, the  50 Shades of Grey series. Now, I don't claim to be a fan of the books. I have read about 5 pages and wasn't impressed. However, I would never take it upon myself, no matter how much I hated a book, to brutally attack and criticize the author, especially during a Q&A they were hosting.

Sure, many people think she's not a good writer, many people don't like her books, a lot of them think they portray abusive relationships in a glamorous light. So write a book review on Amazon. Blog about it. There is no need to attack the PERSON behind the words.

Here are some of the horrible tweets...

•  does the E.L. Stand for ELiterate?
•  after the success of "Grey," have you considered re-telling the story from the perspective of someone who can write.
•  what's it like telling millions of women it's okay to be in an abusive relationship as long as he's rich.
•  Is there a safe word we can use to get you to stop writing such drivel?
•  Do you ever feel guilty that you made so much money from romanticizing sexual abuse and selling it as "erotica romance"?
•  Will you be rewriting the book from Stephenie Meyer's point of view next time? 
•  how do you feel knowing you've made your riches from convincing young impressionable girls that abuse is 'love'?
•  Which do you hate more, women or the English language?
•  Is it only ok for Christian to stalk, coerce, threaten & manipulate Ana because he's hot, or is it also ok because he's rich?
•  Do all these negative tweets sent to you seem abusive to you? I think it's romantic enough to be turned into a novel!

Um...seriously? From what I could see, the majority of tweets during the #AskELJames  Q&A were like this.

Let's take a couple things into consideration...

50 Shades of Grey is FICTION! And it's erotica. EL took people's real life sexual fantasies and
fictionalized them. Maybe they aren't my sexual fantasies or yours, but I bet they are someone's. Why else would so many copies have sold? Out of the millions and millions of books out in the bookosphere (yeah, it's a word) I'm sure there are others that glorify relationships like this, and rape, and murder, and all sorts of ugly things.

Remember the movie Natural Born Killers? I mean, I thought it was brilliant, as did others. However there were some...not so much. They felt like it glorified violence. Here's what some reviewers say...

• ...just for sickening starters, there wasn't one, single, solitary character in this entire film who was even remotely likable.
•  Phew! - What a total waste of H-Wood Talent !
•  I regret having to give this film one star- zero stars isn't an option. Neither is negative 3 stars. That would've been acceptable.
•  worst movie ever... 
•  ...I could feel my brain welling up with hatred for every individual involved in the making of this movie. 

You get my meaning? It's not real. It's fiction. It's subjective. So, like the people above, if you hate it so much, write a review. I would almost guess that they can't though because they probably have not read the books.

I'm not defending the series, I didn't read it, I have no desire to read it, and like I said, the part I did read I thought was crap. Writers are used to that kind of criticism. We have thick skin (or we learn to grow it.)  I am defending the writer. She's a person and is not defined by the books she wrote. She likes wine, dogs, chocolate, bacon and Magic Mike.  And she has feelings like the rest of us.

So step off Twitter Trolls. Go back to fawning over Harry Styles, making up new memes, posting Shia Laboeuf videos, and tweeting about hockey (this is truly what some of them do, I checked.) Just leave EL James alone.

Plus, she probably doesn't give a shit what you think anyway.

YA and Sexism: The virtual vilification of Andrew Smith

Twitter has been blowing up lately over an interview Andrew Smith,  author of YA books such as Winger, Grasshopper Jungle and the Marbury Lens, did for Vice. The article is called, The Failure of Male Societies: Author Andrew Smith Tackles Monsters and Sex. His interview had female bloggers calling him out as a sexist and misogynist.

In particular, it was just one answer. This one:

Q. On the flip side, it sometimes seems like there isn’t much of a way into your books for female readers. Where are all the women in your work?

A: I was raised in a family with four boys, and I absolutely did not know anything about girls at all. I have a daughter now; she’s 17. When she was born, that was the first girl I ever had in my life. I consider myself completely ignorant to all things woman and female. I’m trying to be better though.

 A lot of The Alex Crow is really about the failure of male societies. In all of the story threads, there are examples of male-dominated societies that make critical errors, whether it’s the army that Ariel falls in with at the beginning, or the refugee camp, or Camp Merrie-Seymour for boys, or the doomed arctic expedition, they’re all examples of male societies that think that they’re doing some kind of noble mission, and they’re failing miserably.

 So, that's a big deal, right? OMG! I can't believe he said that!!! Um...right. Women were having a fit because Andrew Smith says he doesn't get women. I tweeted this:

I mean, seriously? Isn't it a well known fact that men don't get women. And honestly, I don't get men, so there's that.

One Tweeter mocked him SEVERAL times. Wow. Um...I just don't know what to say about all that except, you have too much time on your hands.

A blogger stated that it "assumes that men and masculinity are the default settings

for humanity." Really? If that's what that statement is assuming then I'm reading it wrong. She goes on to say that "Saying 'I'm trying' is not the same as trying." She thinks that by supporting Smith and saying he was just being honest "let's those with privilege off the hook." WTF? Can you say, read too much into something? Jesus.

Yet another: "The interpretation is that women are less than human, or at the very least, inherently different from men. That is one of the oldest sexist arguments in the entire world." Uh, how does one one interpret his statement translate into this?


Last one I'll share: "This is an astounding claim to make and one that exacerbates a lot of pernicious misogynistic attitudes, in the publishing industry and society at large." Does it really? Misogynistic? Come on!

Okay, one more, but I don't remember where I read it, but she said something to the effect that "how can he come up with all these fantasy/fiction ideas and not understand women?" I'm paraphrasing of course, but it was something like that. Um, last time I checked, these were two completely different things. Women are carbon based and living. Fantasy books are make believe and pure fiction.

I would call myself a feminist. I'm a huge proponent of women's rights and equality. But I was not offended by this interview in any way.  I truly do think people have nothing better to do than find fault that isn't there.  I think just as some women are more comfortable writing female characters, Andrew Smith is more comfortable writing from the male POV.

This is what I think about Smith's statement.

Andrew Smith:

• was being completely honest with his feelings.
• writes quirky books about boys.
• is writing what he wants to and what he knows and should write because he's brilliant at it.
• says he doesn't get girls, not that he doesn't not want to get girls.(Big. Difference.)

Also: 

• female readers LOVE his books.
• I believe saying your trying is trying.
• We all don't write everything perfectly.
• Most these bloggers took what he said out of context and did not post that 2nd paragraph of his answer, which explains a lot.
• The interviewer set him up to answer in that way.
• Just because you have the imagination to write the way Smith does, does not mean you have insight to everything on the planet.
• If you read the article he also says he grew up with 3 brothers, no sisters and his parents were abusive. The only woman in your life is abusive. So, doesn't it make some sense that Smith doesn't "get" girls.

This was a virtual witch hunt on Twitter. I love Twitter, but I don't like when things like this happen. Especially to good people. I cannot vouch that Smith is "good" but many people defending him know him personally and say as such and I believe them.

Another thing,  why do some writers, and I'm generalizing, I know, but most the bloggers I know also write...anyway, why do some writers feel the need to cut each other down? This business is hard and cruel enough as it is without us fighting each other. Why do we have to seek the worst in our colleagues? We're not really in competition, I mean to a point I guess, but we should be supporting each other, lifting each other up, not keeping each other down.

This vilification of Smith forced him to shut down his Twitter and Facebook. I hope it's only temporary because I like seeing his posts and I really do think he's brilliant. - even if he doesn't "get" girls.

Yet another author behaving badly

I'm not going to post everything that happened but I'll share a link to bestselling author, Ayelet Waldman's atrocious behavior.

Now that you've read that, let's discuss.

Not dealing with making the NYT most treasured list: Most authors never make a list at all. You're a best selling author. Shut up.

Books on the list with reviews that were nowhere near as good as mine: Waldman's reviews really aren't that noteworthy. I mean, they're okay. I didn't read them all, but here is the tally on Amazon.

• 60 - 5 star
• 60 - 4 star
• 43 - 3 star
• 15 - 2 star
• 14 - 1 star

Now, her editorial reviews seem to be glowing, but as authors, we know how to take the good bits even out of the worst review. *grain of salt* cough* So the shorter ones, may be, well, not at "noteworthy" as they may seem.

We also know that reviews are an opinion. One person's opinion. Guess what, so is this list, only it's a few editor's opinions. Get the fuck over it.

What do they mean by "Notable?": Well, these are the dictionary definitions. I hope this helps.

1. worthy of note or notice; noteworthy: a notable success; a notable theory.

2. prominent, important, or distinguished: many notable artists.

A book with a mediocre review counts as "notable" and one with a good one (hers I presume) didn't: Group of editors chose. Group discussions. Difference of opinions. It makes for different answers to the same question.

Sometimes being a writer sucks she thinks she should go back to being an attorney: Yes, being a writer sucks, especially when you're on the B list and are not a bestselling author AND don't make lists. And I'm sorry you have a career that makes a lot of money to fall back on if this doesn't work out for you. Man you have it hard.

It's demoralizing. You pour your heart into your work, you get awesome reviews, and someone decides it's not "notable.": Yes, it is. It's especially demoralizing when you pour your heart out into your work, get awesome reviews and you get no attention at all because your publisher didn't back you, or your book didn't fall into the right hands, or for some other reason. And you never see a royalty check. And even though you've got a ton of great reviews you're not a bestseller or been on a list or won any awards. THIS is the experience of most the writers on the face of the planet. Shut up.

Why do I bother? I could write a fucking journal: Yeah, that's a good idea. Follow your dreams and go write a fucking journal. b'bye. SMH. You do it because you love it and you are obviously good at it since everyone thinks you're great. Jesus. Enough already.

I'm being such a (Expletive I don't like, yes there are some). There are real problems in the world. I'm just going to suck it up...: I think we are beyond sucking it up at this point. Don't you?

And then she asks the world to order her paperback so that too can become a best

seller and she can make more money and love herself again be on top of the world. All right Mr. DeMille, she's ready for her close up.

And then she'll donate a dollar of each sale to scholarmatch.com because fuck the fucking NYT for not putting her on the list.

However the Washington Post liked her book enough to put it in their Top 50 Fiction Books for 2014. She could have used all that energy writing 5 million Tweets about the NYT NOT putting her on a list to write 5 million Tweets about the WP putting her ON a list. Of course, we wouldn't have like that any better because then she'd be gloating. But she barely acknowledged it.

By the way, thank you WASHINGTON POST, with a link. Uh, I think I'd at least have thrown in a squee or an exclamation point or something. Of course I'd have been excited because I'm not a bestseller, never won any awards or been on a list before.

Meanwhile, Waldman continues to tell people to fuck off on Twitter as they chastise
her for her childish tantrum.

When did the writing world fill up with a bunch of cry baby bed wetters? I mean, seriously? We're supposed to have thick skins. After all we get blasted with bad reviews all the time. But now we're stalking and assaulting people and going on all out ranty tantrums because we're not making lists? Jesus H, people. Get your balls out from wherever they're hiding and start using them again.

We're writers. This is what we do. We take the good with the bad. True writers don't write for the glory: not the money, the awards, or the lists. They write for the pure joy of writing itself. If you lose sight of that, I'm pretty sure your writing will suffer.

Next time you get pissed off at a bad review, or because you lost an award, or god forbid you didn't make a list, put the vodka bottle down, step away from the computer and take a deep breath. Do anything else, just don't go there. Go for a walk, go watch TV, go to bed. Don't make yourself and the writing community as a whole look like an ass because you got your feelings hurt. Take it like a writer. Thick skinned, strong willed, and wholehearted.

#HighSchoolTaughtMe

This hashtag is trending on Twitter today.  I like to scroll through and read what people write under the trending hashtags, sometimes I like to participate. As I read through #HighSchoolTaughtMe, I grew very sad about our youth's perspective on high school, and their lives in general.

Little do they know that when they respond to these hashtags, they are giving us a  glimpse into their view of the world. And though it's only 140 characters, it says a lot.

This is what some of them said about #HighSchoolTaughtMe:

• that many teachers do more of the parenting than some actual parents do.
• to cheat in exams.
• that even the ones you look out for the most could turn their back on you.
• it's okay if you're unhappy and completely miserable, so long as you have good grades.
• that people will like you only if you're hot & popular.
• some people are only going to be nice when they need you.
• that most teachers don't care, they're just there to get paid.
• that if you dont have stunning looks or you're not good in a sport than you're a nobody.
• that I don't have a right to my opinion.
• that sophomores post nudes.
• how to hate people.

This is sad, yes? It seems to me that as adults we've gone wrong somewhere to make our children feel this way.  Behave this way. Perceive their world in this way.

Don't get me wrong, They weren't all negative, there were a few positives, like these:

• that we should be happy,we need to be happy, we deserve to be happy .
• that no one's opinion but your own is important in the end.
• to be responsible and free at the same time. How to have fun yet how to not fail my parents.

Um, yeah, the positives were hard to find.

I can't say I blame these kids. In many ways, our public education system is struggling.

Teenagers deal with crap at school every day - drama, peer pressure, violence, bullying. Top that off with those that have the added pressures of sports, music or other activities, then homework on top of that. It can be stressful. Think how you felt at that age, how all your problems seemed like the end of the world. I know from personal experience that the school systems don't know how to handle some of today's teen problems.

In some ways, schools feel like prisons, with on sight cops, drug testing, drug sniffing dogs,  students wearing badges or picture IDs, random sweeps for drug paraphernalia, security cams. I'm not saying these are bad ideas. I'm sure in some areas security like this is necessary and I'd much rather have my kids be safe than me be sorry. But I can understand how a child could feel like an inmate in a school that takes those times of security measures.

Then we have the state of the facilities themselves. 44% of public school principals reported that problems with the school buildings themselves interfered with student's education. Heating and air condition, which I can attest to. I remember when I used to volunteer in the elementary school, the rooms were either freezing or like a sauna, no happy medium.  Size and configuration of the rooms also appeared to be a problem. And then there are the portables. These seem to be a major problem, from noise control to air quality to their overall physical condition, these seem to be a major interference in the education process.

I'm not going to blame the teachers here. I believe teaching is one of the most unappreciated professions on the face of the planet. Yes, there are bad ones. Yes, some don't know their subjects. I read that less than 15% of Math, English and Science teachers have neither majored in nor received a certification in those subjects. However, more than half have a master's degree or higher.  Not bad. Pupil teacher ratios are also good. Luckily we have more teachers in the country, so we have about 16 students per teacher. YAY!

Getting back to these unhappy children...especially the one who stated teachers act more like parents than parents...sigh...there are the kids that deal with shit at home. I know kids with parents who are addicts, who live with other family members. Kids from broken homes, which as mainstream as it is these days, still affects them profoundly. You don't know what else goes on behind closed doors, they could be dealing with abuse, whether it be verbal, emotional or worse.

We need to protect all these kids -  these kids who have it bad at home, these kids who have it bad at school, who hate the learning process for one reason or another. We have to let them know that it's not that bad. 


There are over 3 million high school dropouts annually. That number has gone down in the last few years, but still, 3 MILLION!?! 

 These kids won't go to college. Many will be teenage moms. Half the people on Welfare are dropouts. These are also our future criminals! 75% of crimes are committed by high school dropouts.

This is our responsibility as a society isn't it? To make sure these kids graduate? The signs are all there. These are the kids who skip school, who  do poorly in class, who get in trouble, who have obvious trouble at home.

What can we do? According to the Parents Association we can do this:

• Arrange for help making up missed work, tutoring, placement in a special
  
  program or another school.
• Help with personal problems and/or arrange for professional help.
• Help them schedule work and family obligations so there is also time for school.
• Help them understand the choices they make - marriage, parenting, failing, behavior, suspension, expulsion - and how those things can disrupt their ability to finish school.
• If a student becomes pregnant, help them find school and social programs to help meet their needs.
• If all else fails, help them find a GED program and encourage them to stick with it until they finish.

But here's where I started.

‏@MeganBostic 

#HighSchoolTaughtMe Never live in fear of failure, true friends are the ones that are there when things suck, and nothing lasts forever.

AWP and moving forward

Had a great time at AWP this weekend. I wasn't there very long, just Friday to Saturday, but did much in that small amount of time.

Friday evening I met up with my fellow panel members Roberta Borger, Jolene Perry, Selene Castrovilla, and Katherine Ayres. What a group of wonderful, talented women. I felt small in comparison to their accomplishments. Roberta is an MFA student in Pennsylvania, and the one who put the panel together. I should also thank my friend Gae Polisner, who opted out of the panel and suggested me as her replacement.

After dinner, Selene and I spent some time together talking (we have quite a bit in common, we noted if we didn't live on opposite shores, we would probably be friends) then hit up the AWP Dance Party. We didn't dance, just watched as most the party goers were about 20 years younger than us.

The next morning I registered and hit the bookfair, checking out the books, reviews, and journals, then I noticed 3rd Place Books was there in the back. I went to check out their books and who was in their booth? Local author Lish McBride. We hadn't met in person, just by Twitter mostly, in fact when I ran into her, I hadn't looked at her name tag right away, and we were sitting there talking about writing and whatnot (she'd recognized my name from my AWP badge). When she told me her third books was coming out soon I asked her what she'd written and her books were sitting right there so she showed me. I wanted to do a palm-to-forehead so bad...DOH! I explained to her, via Twitter, the following day that it took me awhile to put 2x2 together because, well, I'm an idiot. Ugh.

Scurried on to my panel, which was a success. Good questions asked, time flew. Then I was bound for home.

Time to move forward...in so many ways. One of the problems I've been having, it culminates tomorrow. Another problem, I think it's coming to a head and I'm not sure how it's going to resolve. I'll have to wait and see. Either way, I'm ready to Creative Chaos Media. It's time to do a publicity blast on Dissected. finish the rebranding of my website, edit Girl in Motion and get it prepared to publish this fall (time is going so fast), and finish my latest novel, A Tattered Life.
do whatever I need to do to put it behind me. And it's really time to push my new business with the self publishing services. I've been working on the website again,

I realized I haven't finished a novel in over a year. I think Dissected was the last one I actually finished writing. I mean, I've edited novels, but I haven't written a new one in a really long time, so it's so important to complete A Tattered Life then move onto the next one.

Moving forward.

I am not a social media addict...

At least according to this article here. I would say at one time in my life there was a certain writer's forum I could not take my eyes off of, *cough* ABNA *cough* and perhaps there was a time that Facebook meant more to me than oxygen(I mean, who really needs to breathe, right?), but hey, I've found there are other things in life than virtuality (yes that is a word, I'm pretty sure I just made it up) and reading random posts from people, most of which you'll never meet in real life (though I will say I've been very lucky to meet some of my virtual friends in my reality too).

Here is my defense to this social media addiction blog:

1.  I only keep one Twitter app on my phone for my ONE Twitter screen name...okay, admittedly I have three Twitter screen names, but the others different aspects of my life that are rarely touched.
2. I don't ALWAYS check myself in when I go somewhere. Sometimes I forget.
3. My children don't always have to tell me not to Tweet the crazy things they say. I'm more of a Facebook user.
4. Posted on the gyno's table with feet in the stirrups? I think not. Though the dentists chair isn't out of the question.
5. I've never shed a tear that Pinterest wasn't around before I got married. I've always prided myself on being a great party-thrower. Although now, I admit, with all those pictures, it's so much easier to steal other people's ideas.
6. And I'm not into taking pics of my food, especially since I eat popcorn for dinner about three nights a week. I've also never heard of Diptic. Of course, there are all those selfies...Diptic...Where have you been all my life?
7. Instagram as a verb? Please! Of course. And Facebooked, Twittered (I make up all sorts of words for Tweeted), Tumblred...any of them can be turned into a verb.
8. Yes, I own multiple chargers. I have one at the office, one in my car, one
   
   plugged into my computer, one in my bedroom, one that roams...you can never be too sure when there might be an emergency update to post. I know where there are outlets, AND wi-fi. I do not see this as a problem.
9. My mom has never called to see if I'm okay because I haven't Tweeted. She doesn't even KNOW how to Tweet. However if my dad doesn't see me on Facebook...
10. An Android user as a wannabe...pish posh.
11. Oh yeah, those iPhone users are snobs. Any time I complain about my phone it's always, "You should get an iPhone. They're perrrrrfect." Douchebags.

Pttthhhh. See, totally not an addict. I can take it or leave it. Quit any time I want.

Have a great day. I have to go check my feeds on Facebook and Twitter. And I should probably update my Tubmlr, and maybe post some pics on Instagram, and perhaps...

How I feel about the most overused words of 2013

There have been numerous articles about what words were the most overused last year. While I would agree, some of them are annoying and those still using them must be stopped, to others, I just say, meh.  So here we go, my feelings about the most overused words of 2013...

Twerking. This word was around before Miley Cyrus, however it steamrolled over the interwebs after her performance on the VMA's. This is the fault of the media, not Miley Cyrus. Plus, it was a stupid word before 2013 and it's a stupid word now and we should just invent a new dance already and move on.

 YOLO. Um. I'm torn. I'm like the hip, cool mom, and essentially this is what my first book is about, but honestly, teenagers aren't saying this anymore. Dorky parents who think they are hip and cool are saying this. I still think it's pithy and fun. You see my conundrum?

Artisan. This used to be a legit word. It used to mean something. Now, everyone is an artisan. I make bread, I'm an artisan. I make candles, I'm an artisan. I fart in a jar, I'm an artisan. Yeah....no. 

Infused. Infused was cool when nothing was being infused, but now everything is being infused. Let me give you a ride in the wayback machine to a time I made candy corn infused vodka. That was before they were making all these vodka flavors they're selling now. I actually soaked candy corns in vodka for weeks, I didn't just put some chemically enhanced flavoring in the stuff. Infused. Not cool.

Handcrafted. To me this is a bit like artisan. Handcrafted, making things with your own hands. At a time before Ebay and Etsy and mass produced patterns for EVERTHING, this was a cool thing. Now, if you go to an arts and crafts show, everything looks the same. And if you try to find something cool online, the market is so saturated with handcrafted crap, it's just not cool anymore. And I'm sorry, some of it is crap. It's hard to find things that are unique anymore. I'm not saying it's impossible. I mean, I have a friend who makes some amazing bags, and I find a gal who makes some amazing steampunk inspired jewelry, but it's hard to find anything that isn't made from a pattern sold at Joann Fabrics.

Brand.  Now don't be dissing on the branding. This is very important to us marketing people. Brand is how businesses are recognized. It's how we roll people. Get over it.

Gluten free. I would like to poke a gluten free pencil through my ear next time I hear this phrase. They do make those, right?

Hipster. Did Hipsters actually make up this term "Hipster"? Because that seems exactly the thing a Hipster would do, but then they'd blame it on society because that would be so mainstream. I don't care enough about Hipsters to care about their title. If I see them on the streets I probably just call them douchebags.

Totes. I'm okay with the shortening of words and the use of acronyms. I really am. I do it a lot just to make fun of teen slang, like I think I used the word "obvi" in my blog yesterday. I think FOMO is funny because I know people like that. But totes makes me want to kick a kitten.

Anything ending in 'agedden' or 'pocalypse'. I think these are still funny. I don't care what anyone else says.

Meh. Come on! One syllable and three letters is the best way to tell people how apathetic you are about a subject without saying absolutely nothing.

#Hashtag. Meh.

Twittersphere. Twitter is God.

Mister Mom.  I personally have not heard a soul utter this in 2013. Is this really a thing?

T-Bone. They're talking about the car wreck here, not the steak. And for realsies? This was overused in 2013? See Mister Mom.

Obamacare. And now we can't talk about politics. No, lets just bury our heads in the sand. That's a great idea.

Whatever.  I love using whatever. I've been proudly using it circa 1985. Again, another way to show someone how apathetic you are to what they're saying. i.e. trying to piss them off without showing anger or violent behavior.

Selfie. I love selfies. I love saying selfie. I use selfie all the time. I take selfies all the time. No one takes better pictures of me. If you take selfies away I will run you through with a samurai sword. (okay, maybe not that last one)

 How do you feel about these overused words? Any words you are tired of hearing not mentioned here?