Let's talk about Trump

 Photo © Mike Licht

Jeremy Nix wrote an open letter to his friends that support Trump and it was posted on the Huffington Post. I think in this letter, Jeremy articulates things many of us are feeling. You can go read his letter, but I am going to summarize some things that I believe are the best reasons not to vote for The Donald, and of course, add my own rant.

Donald Trump, if you really listen to him, this is what you'll hear...

Photo © Michael Vadon edited by Megan Bostic

He wants all the Muslims kept out of America because, terrorism. The pilgrims first came here for religious freedom (though it actually took awhile for them to get it). Everyone who lives here is not a Christian. There are Atheists, Agnostics, Wiccans, and yes, Muslims. Islam is really not that different than Christianity. They believe in one god, angels, prophets, prayer, faith, giving...Yes, there are a few Muslims that do terrible things in the name of Allah. But there are bad people in every bunch. Americans are shooting other Americans because of religion, color, culture, and for no reason at all, but let's block an entire religion from entering our country because they're probably terrorists. WTF?!? And the ones who are already here? Registration.

If Trump gets his way, every non Christian will have to bear some kind of mark so people know that they share a different belief system. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Trump is a modern day Hitler.

Trump is also a misogynist. He insults, belittles and marginalizes us. He calls women fat and ugly. He appreciates beautiful women, but not in a healthy way. He treats them like possessions. For instance, in his book Trump 101: The Way to Success, he lumps our beauty and elegance in the same category as buildings and works of art. We are nothing more than objects for him to admire, but not if we're fat and ugly.

As far as sexual assault goes, he's within the "boys will be boys" ideology. He tweeted the following about sexual assaults in the military:

"What did they expect would happen when they put men and women together?" 

Um, maybe that rape is vile and illegal and should not be an option? 

He think women need to rely on sexual appeal in business, that female journalists need to be hot, that we're tricksters and gold diggers... I could go on and on about what a giant douchebag misogynist Trump is, but I fear it would take an entire blog.

I don't know how any woman can consider voting for Trump. He will strip our rights away. He would reverse Roe v Wade, shut down Planned Parenthood, and forget about equality in the workplace, insurance covered birth control, paid maternity leave and anything else that would empower us. Anyone sporting a vagina is not on his list of priorities, and truly, seems to not even be human to The Donald.

He wants to build the Great Wall of 'Merica. He wants to keep Mexicans out. This country was built on the backs of immigrants. None of us are native to this land aside from those who were here before the white man came. Those from Mexico do the jobs no one wants to do and they're damn good at them. They're hard workers. Many of them pay taxes. He thinks all immigrants are thieves, rapists and thugs. Can you say, stereotyping? Profiling? Racism? I knew that you could.

He believes we don't have a gun problem, we have a mental health problem. I say we have a problem with both. Our country has too many guns. But Trump believes guns save lives and we should have no limits. He believes gun ownership makes our country safer. Tell that to all the victims of mass shootings. He believes gun violence is inevitable, so regulating them would be futile. Are you fucking kidding me? The statistics and facts are out there. Less guns, less gun death. Period.

And the newest Trumpism, he wants to get rid of the First Amendment. WTF? He wants to take away our freedom of speech, our freedom of religion,  the freedom of press and peaceable assembly. He wants to punish people for speaking or writing opinions or truths. He wants to take away the rights of our faiths, beliefs, and the way we worship. He is a true Nazi.

How can his followers not see how dangerous he is for our country? He is a hate monger. If he's elected we will be at war in the blink of an eye. He's like a child that can't wait to blow some shit up. I honestly would not be surprised if we ended up in a civil war during a Trump presidency. 

He wants make America great again. Which time period was that exactly? Before gay people had the right to marry? The years we sent our troops overseas to die for needless wars? Before women could decide what they could do with their own bodies?  When Japanese Americans were thrown into prison camps and Italians had curfews? When women belonged in the home, having babies, making sure dinner was on the table and a martini was waiting for hubby when he came home from a long day at work? Before women and blacks had the right to vote? When we still owned slaves? Are these the great times of which Trump speaks?

This country has had moments of greatness. The Separation of Church and State, as that's really when religious freedom really began. The signing of the Declaration of Independence. The Ratification of the Constitution. The Emancipation Proclamation freeing the slaves. Immigration at the turn of the century when we became a melting pot. Women's Suffrage. The Civil Right Act of 1964. When Armstrong walked on the moon. Desegregation. Affirmative Action. Americans with Disabilities Act. Electing the first black president. These are the moments that has made our country the greatest - When we come together to work for a better America.

What Trump is already doing and will continue to do is tear us apart. He is a loud bully, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, homophobic racist. He will be cancerous to society as we know it. A Trump presidency will destroy us and it may take a long time for America to recover, if ever.

YA and Sexism: The virtual vilification of Andrew Smith

Twitter has been blowing up lately over an interview Andrew Smith,  author of YA books such as Winger, Grasshopper Jungle and the Marbury Lens, did for Vice. The article is called, The Failure of Male Societies: Author Andrew Smith Tackles Monsters and Sex. His interview had female bloggers calling him out as a sexist and misogynist.

In particular, it was just one answer. This one:

Q. On the flip side, it sometimes seems like there isn’t much of a way into your books for female readers. Where are all the women in your work?

A: I was raised in a family with four boys, and I absolutely did not know anything about girls at all. I have a daughter now; she’s 17. When she was born, that was the first girl I ever had in my life. I consider myself completely ignorant to all things woman and female. I’m trying to be better though.

 A lot of The Alex Crow is really about the failure of male societies. In all of the story threads, there are examples of male-dominated societies that make critical errors, whether it’s the army that Ariel falls in with at the beginning, or the refugee camp, or Camp Merrie-Seymour for boys, or the doomed arctic expedition, they’re all examples of male societies that think that they’re doing some kind of noble mission, and they’re failing miserably.

 So, that's a big deal, right? OMG! I can't believe he said that!!! Um...right. Women were having a fit because Andrew Smith says he doesn't get women. I tweeted this:

I mean, seriously? Isn't it a well known fact that men don't get women. And honestly, I don't get men, so there's that.

One Tweeter mocked him SEVERAL times. Wow. Um...I just don't know what to say about all that except, you have too much time on your hands.

A blogger stated that it "assumes that men and masculinity are the default settings

for humanity." Really? If that's what that statement is assuming then I'm reading it wrong. She goes on to say that "Saying 'I'm trying' is not the same as trying." She thinks that by supporting Smith and saying he was just being honest "let's those with privilege off the hook." WTF? Can you say, read too much into something? Jesus.

Yet another: "The interpretation is that women are less than human, or at the very least, inherently different from men. That is one of the oldest sexist arguments in the entire world." Uh, how does one one interpret his statement translate into this?


Last one I'll share: "This is an astounding claim to make and one that exacerbates a lot of pernicious misogynistic attitudes, in the publishing industry and society at large." Does it really? Misogynistic? Come on!

Okay, one more, but I don't remember where I read it, but she said something to the effect that "how can he come up with all these fantasy/fiction ideas and not understand women?" I'm paraphrasing of course, but it was something like that. Um, last time I checked, these were two completely different things. Women are carbon based and living. Fantasy books are make believe and pure fiction.

I would call myself a feminist. I'm a huge proponent of women's rights and equality. But I was not offended by this interview in any way.  I truly do think people have nothing better to do than find fault that isn't there.  I think just as some women are more comfortable writing female characters, Andrew Smith is more comfortable writing from the male POV.

This is what I think about Smith's statement.

Andrew Smith:

• was being completely honest with his feelings.
• writes quirky books about boys.
• is writing what he wants to and what he knows and should write because he's brilliant at it.
• says he doesn't get girls, not that he doesn't not want to get girls.(Big. Difference.)

Also: 

• female readers LOVE his books.
• I believe saying your trying is trying.
• We all don't write everything perfectly.
• Most these bloggers took what he said out of context and did not post that 2nd paragraph of his answer, which explains a lot.
• The interviewer set him up to answer in that way.
• Just because you have the imagination to write the way Smith does, does not mean you have insight to everything on the planet.
• If you read the article he also says he grew up with 3 brothers, no sisters and his parents were abusive. The only woman in your life is abusive. So, doesn't it make some sense that Smith doesn't "get" girls.

This was a virtual witch hunt on Twitter. I love Twitter, but I don't like when things like this happen. Especially to good people. I cannot vouch that Smith is "good" but many people defending him know him personally and say as such and I believe them.

Another thing,  why do some writers, and I'm generalizing, I know, but most the bloggers I know also write...anyway, why do some writers feel the need to cut each other down? This business is hard and cruel enough as it is without us fighting each other. Why do we have to seek the worst in our colleagues? We're not really in competition, I mean to a point I guess, but we should be supporting each other, lifting each other up, not keeping each other down.

This vilification of Smith forced him to shut down his Twitter and Facebook. I hope it's only temporary because I like seeing his posts and I really do think he's brilliant. - even if he doesn't "get" girls.

4 ways, as a woman, you are destroying women's rights.

This is my response to the article 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage. I blogged about it yesterday too because I think it is such utter bullshit I can't help but blog about it again. While this blog is about that, it also transcends that though. It's about women who fight against women's rights, sometimes unknowingly, sometimes with purpose. Let's know turn the clock back, let's move forward and become the women we were meant to be, strong, powerful and equal to men.

So here are

1. You write articles that set us back 50 years. Whether we are working mothers or stay at home mothers what we do is important and difficult. I know as I've done them both. So, tell me, why is it automatically the wife's job to cook dinner when she's worked all day too? And tell me, is cooking, cleaning, doing all the grocery shopping, running errands and tending to all the children's needs not as important as the work our spouses do?

No matter if you are a single mom or married, it is hard to raise a family. I know, because I've also done both. Also, we should be in relationships in which we are equal partners. We should not need to coddle, pander to or be submissive to our husbands, boyfriends or significant others. I am not June Cleaver, Donna Reed or  Harriet Nelson. I am SuperMom, BadAss Mom, who does it all and will second to no one in my household. If I'm not an equal, I am gone.

2. You equate feminism to misandry. Specifically I am talking about the group Women Against Feminism (WAF). They post pictures of themselves with posterboard signs stating things like, I don't need feminism because...:

"Because I enjoy being feminine" "If every man is a potential rapist, so is every woman"  "My husband loves and respects me" "I always enjoy making sandwiches"

There are so many more. Let me see here. Not all feminists are butchy. Yes, women can be rapists, but the majority are men. I'm sure many feminists have husbands that love and respect them. And wow, go make a fucking sandwich then. And come one, the whole sandwich thing has gone too far and there are groups of men out there that are sick and post disgusting "humor" out there such as the meme below.

This is what feminists are against. Not making a damn sandwich.

But if you are for...

• Women earning equal pay for equal work.
• Being able to decide what you do with your own body.
• Being able to pursue any kind of career you like, even if it's physically demanding.
• Wearing whatever you like without it being seen as an invitation to be raped.
• Not being fired for being pregnant.
• Not being passed over for promotions because there is the possibility that you may become pregnant.
• Your little girl being able to play any sport she wants, be it football, wrestling, or whatever. 
• Not being sexually harassed at the workplace.

...then you already are a feminist because this is what true feminists are working towards. Yes, there are some bad apples in the bunch, and some of them are vocal, but you find that everywhere in every social and political group. 

But WAF believes we don't get equal pay because of the jobs we take (what about the ones that are the same?) and that alcohol fueled sexual mistakes are mistakenly equated to assault (which may be true in some cases, but not all, probably not many and it actually disgusts me that a woman would think that about another woman).

I consider myself a feminist and I enjoy being feminine and I LOVE men, and sure, I even like catering to a significant other sometimes, but not all the time. Again, I want to be treated with respect and equality and frankly, there are still a lot of misogynists in the world. Maybe the man haters are sometimes more vocal than true feminist and it's time to take back the name, but the cause of WAF is not the way to go. 

3. You pretend your politics protect my rights.

• Concerned Women for America, for example, contends that abortions lead to depression, anxiety, and breast cancer. The American Psychological Association reported in 2008 that "the relative risks of mental health problems are no greater than the risks among women who deliver an unplanned pregnancy." And according to the American Cancer Society "Scientific research studies have not found a cause-and-effect relationship between abortion and breast cancer."
• In opposition to gun control, Gayle Trotter of the Independent Women’s Forum testified that guns reverse the gender “balance of power in a violent confrontation. Armed with a gun, a woman can even have the advantage over a violent attacker. "An armed woman does not need superior strength or the proximity of a hand -to-hand struggle.” How about taking self defense classes to learn how to disarm someone instead? I would rather do that than carry a gun. What if the violent attacker disarms you? Then what?
• The Independent Women’s Forum challenges the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. It opposes the law, because they think funding isn't used to address “proven causes of violence" such as substance abuse, psychological disorders, and marital instability." They don't believe that sexism could be a possible root cause of domestic violence. 

4. You are a woman who has joined The Red Pill. If you don't know what The Red Pill is, this is a tiny summary according to the site on Reddit: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

I tend to disagree with this summary. I think The Daily Dot got it right. "The forum is a trove of horror stories disguised as men trying to “better” themselves. While there are plenty of posts about becoming the sort of guy women want to be around,” most members of the subreddit must have a delusional image of what that means"..."this section of Reddit (or subreddit) is one of its darkest corners, populated by rape apologists, revenge-porn enthusiasts, and those who would justify domestic abuse." I have read some of the stuff on there, and that's exactly what much of it is.

Feminism is not a bad word. If you think it is, you have no idea what it truly means. We do not seek special rights or superiority. Yes, as I said there are those who spoil the bunch. If you're working for women's rights and equality though, you are a feminist. If you're doing any of the things above? Not so much. Rethink what you're doing in the name of women and in the name of your rights as a woman. Don't set us back, move us forward. There are men who support the cause of equal rights and women's issues as well. Do your homework, do your research and make informed decisions.

Serious Heterosexual Guys Literature 101

Okay, I'm not even sure that I'm offended by this article really. I think one of the commenters said it best by saying, "What is this fuckery?!"

I'm more just feeling like O.o.

The professor said, and I'm paraphrasing (and making part of this shit up) Um, I don't particularly like Canadian writers. Or Chinese. Or women. So I can't possibly teach them. In fact I also don't like left handed writers. Or writers with 'm's' in their name. Or writers born on Thursdays. Or writers with clubbed feet. Or writers who named their child Charlie, or writers pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman...(Can you tell which ones I made up?).

But you see how ridiculous that sounds?

If the class were named as the title of today's blog, Serious Heterosexual Guys Literature 101, fine, teach your Proust and your Chekhov and your FItzgerald and whoever, leave off Wolf and Plath and all those Canadians and Chinese you don't love.

But if your courses are called things like, Love, Sex and Death in Short Fiction, don't you think it's your duty to give your students a well rounded taste of the kind of literature that encompasses that subject matter? Just sayin'?

hey look his favorite writer likes women writers!

Or maybe if the school is going to have a guy like that teaching there,  they should
offer a women's lit class. (Do they? Maybe? I didn't go so far as check, there are only so many hours in my day.)

I love my men, I do. I love my King, and my Lehane, my Miller (Arthur, not Henry), my Shakespeare and my Hawthorne, my Keats, Whitman and cummings, but I'm not sure my literary experience would be the same without having read Wollstonecraft Shelley, Atwood, Erdrich, Morrision, Lee, Plath, Rowling, Bronte, Dickinson, Angelou...and so many other women's words who have touched my life in profound and evocative ways.


If the history teacher only taught us about the U.S., we'd know nothing of the world.

If the science teacher taught only the earth, we'd know nothing of the stars.

Response: 8 Reasons NOT to send your daughters to college

Have you seen this article? It's appalling. I was raised Catholic btw. I consider myself a recovering Catholic, but even I know that this is not a Catholic stance on college or women or education. This is one man, Rayman Alleman, hiding behind religion to spout his own anti-feminist agenda. IMHO.

So here we go...

1. She will attract the wrong types of men.  Alleman believes that if they go to college lazy men will basically take advantage of the fact that they are bright and have a career.
Um, so they should just become stay at home moms? Or work a crappy minimum wage jobs to ward off these types of men? This is completely nonsensical. A strong, sensible woman will not let a man take advantage of her. Period.

2. She will be in a near occasion of sin. Yeah, hate to break this to you, but she's always in a near occasion of sin. She doesn't have to go to college for it. She can find it at Starbucks. And the grocery store. And, God forbid, church. And the other psycho-babble he spouts in this one is just bonkers.

3. She will not learn to be a wife and mother. Because of course all career women are horrible mothers, right? Being a wife and mother is not something you learn, it's innate. When you become one, you just do it and whether you stay at home or go to college makes no difference.

4. The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup. I don't necessarily disagree with this one, but it's the way he explains it that makes me want to bitch slap someone. Yes, college loans are expensive, good jobs are hard to find, but why must it be the man that has to bring a skill to the marketplace while the woman stay home and be frugal. Come on! What is this, the 1950's?

 5. You don’t have to prove anything to the world. Thank you Captain Obvious. The idea of college is "folly". And women are just succumbing to peer pressure when they attend college. Uh-huh. It's not that maybe we want to better ourselves, or the world, or try to find our place in the universe or make a difference or get a good job or maybe just feel some sense of accomplishment? No. It's because mommy and daddy told me to go.


6. It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents. Yes, parents will use contraception to send their other children to college. Dude, there are only a handful of parents who have more than 2 or 3 kids these days. How do you think they're NOT having these other children? Look around at your other Catholic friends with one or two kids...

7.  She will regret it. They apparently have all these women coming forward professing how much they regret working instead of raising their children. Yes, having an education is such a horrible thing to have. Please. In this day and age where more people are getting divorced than staying married, a woman would be stupid not to get an education and a job. Believe me, after being a stay at home mom for ten years, it's pretty damn hard to get back into the workforce after a divorce.

8.  It could interfere with a religious vocation. Right, because we know how many women are allowed to become priests and how many are still becoming nuns these days. Are you serious?

Yeah, so I won't mince words, I think this guy is an idiot. And let's see, all of these reasons could apply to sons as well, could they not?

Let's leave the college decisions up to the individual. I mean, college definitely isn't for everyone. I'm not saying everyone should go, but for those who want to? It's not up to the church (or some crazy right wing faction of it), or some crazy Catholic blogger and his misogynistic following. It's up to the student and perhaps their parents if they have to help pay for it.

Personally, I wanted an education. It took me a long time to get it. I went to college, quit and went back, but I believe it helped me get where I am now, I felt a sense of accomplishment when I did get my bachelor's degree.

And you know what, if girls or boys alike go to college and make mistakes, so what? That's the age. It's the time to experiment and explore, get out on your own and find out who you are as a person. I made plenty of mistakes when I went off to college. I learned and grew as a person. Now I'm an educated woman with a good job and I don't feel like I was a lesser wife, mother, or woman because of it.