A Question of Community

A discussion about community came up in an online forum in which I participate. Is and online forum a community? What makes a community? I had given my two cents on that forum, but the sock puppets hit me, so I deleted and decided to broach the subject here.

The Webster definition is as follows:

1: a unified body of individuals: as a: state, commonwealth b: the people with common interests living in a particular area ; c: an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location d: a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society e: a group linked by a common policy f: a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests g: a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society

With regards to that online forum, or any for that matter, I don't think the word fits. The first word I question is "unified". With unification comes cohesion, a glue that bonds things together. And while the online forum I speak of is mostly a group of writers, I don't feel that commonality is enough to make us cohesive. And frankly, that word also for me, implies some kind of mutual fondness for each other, which, at least on the forum in which I speak, does not apply to some.

The next phrase I question is "common interests". While we all came together because of a writing contest, many of us do not share much of the same interests at all outside of that. Even within that "common interest" lies differences. Literary vs. genre fiction, writing style, first or third person, past or present tense.

The definition also talks about living together, in the same geographical area. As the people participating in this forum are from all over the world, that is also out the door.

So, what is a better word for this group of people from all over the world, with different personalities, beliefs, backgrounds, cultures, religions, and political views? Some of which are fun and kind, some of which are toxic.

Society doesn't fit, as again it speaks of common goals and good manners (which are seriously lacking sometimes).

A network doesn't really apply as it is socializing for professional or personal gain, and many of us are strictly there for the commeraderie and friendship.

You know what word I like?

Here is it from thesaurus.com

CLUSTER
Part of Speech:
noun
Definition:
group of something
Synonyms:
array, assemblage, band, batch, bevy, blob, body, bunch, bundle, chunk, clump, clutch, collection, covey, crew, gathering, hunk, knot, lot, pack, party, set

Isn't it beautiful? A group of something. We're something all right. Something funny, something caustic, something beautiful, something ugly, something talented, something awkward, something happy, something depressed, something discouraged, something that believes, something that hopes and dreams.

That is us. Cluster.

Writers vs. Agents: Weighing In

There has been a lot of talk lately about how agents are killing the publishing industry. The point being, that they reject us before even taking the time to read our work, therefore, keeping some great literature off the book shelves.

This is true, no doubt about it. But, there are two sides to this coin that need to be addressed. Ours, the writer's, certainly, but we need to take a step back and take a look at what these literary agents go through also.

My job as a writer:

1. Write the best book possible, than edit said book until it's the best I think it can be.
2. Write a query letter that will wow agents.
3. Write a synopsis for those agents that require them (personally my least favorite part of the process)
4. Tirelessly research agents to find the ones that will be interested in your novel. Luckily there are websites out there like agentquery.com to help with such tasks.
5. Begin sending out queries. And when we do this, we have to change our beautiful query letter a bit every time to personalize it for whichever agent you are querying. Where they can send us form rejections, we cannot send form queries. Bad form.
6. Track queries sent with excel, or another great source, querytracker.com (thanks Ian for that)
7. Wait
8. Wait
9. Wait

Okay, those last three may be an exaggeration, in some cases. Many of those agents that take e-mail queries will get back to you within a couple of days. Some of course do not. Frankly, I don't know why every agent hasn't moved into the technology age. It's much quicker (maybe this is the problem) and it is better for the environment. I always begin with e-mail queries, and if those don't pan out, move on to those agents that still only take snail mail.

Okay, now that we've sent our queries, we start receiving rejections or requests. If you receive requests, you now have to customize your ms for each agent, as some want ten pages, some fifty pages, some three chapters.

If you are only receiving rejections, it's time to go back and revise your query letter to make it stand out from the crowd.

All the while we are doing the querying, most of us are either still editing the ms in question, or have begun a new project. So there you have it, the life of a writer. Forgive me if I've forgotten anything.

Okay, this is my take on the agent's job:

1. Receive query letter
2. Send rejection

That's it. Okay I'm just kidding.

1. Receive queries, which I'm sure they receive thousands a week or at least a month. I don't know for sure, someone can chime in here and tell me.
2. Read through queries and seperate the good from the bad. When I say good from bad, I'm saying, those that aren't well written, or those that don't peak their interest, or those whose subject matter, genre, etc, don't interest them.
3. Send rejections to those you don't want. At this point, form rejection is fine, you probably haven't even looked at the work, which is sad, because someone may have a brilliant novel, but be crap when it comes to writing a query. I also understand that because they receive so many, they don't have time to look at every single ms they get queries on.
4. Go through queries again and filter out more.
5. Send more rejections
6. Request partials or fulls on those that peak your interest.
7. Put those requested in a slush pile, get to them while you can because you are still looking through queries, attending conferences, reading your current clients new work, contacting publishers trying to get current clients a book deal, and reading through contracts of said deals.
8. Read through slush pile that never ends.
9. Find ones you like
10. Request edits
11. Sign to contract
12. Get to work on getting your new client published, all while still doing all of the above.

Okay, I'm sure that's generalized, but I can see where agents are busy, and can't read every piece of literature that every writer wants to send them. Plus, not every writer that sends queries are good writers, even though they think they are (I'm really hoping I'm not one of them).

What bothers me is the ones that do not respond at all. I know they are busy, but you have an assistant or intern that more than likely can send out rejections, don't you? Or, and even though I hate these, have time to press a button to send out a form rejection.

Also, if you request a partial or a full and end up rejecting it, this is where I think you could give a little more thought to your rejection. I don't mind hearing you didn't like the voice, or weren't drawn in, though I would like a little more insight as to where I went wrong. But please, at least, include my name and the name of my novel in the rejection. At least then I know you took the time to insert a little personalization into it.

Personally, I think agents are needed, especially if you want to be published by one of the big houses. Without them, your work will never cross the desks of Scholastic, Harper Collins, Randoms House, Penguin, etc.

Even many small presses require work to be agented.

So, can we really cast blame to the agents, when the publishers won't even look at your work without one? Can we blame them because they have to be selective in what they choose to represent? No. I don't think we can. Of course this means that some really great literature won't get published. This much is true.

I do think we should be able to expect a little more understanding and respect for the work we've done to query them. I think we deserve at least the 3x5 card saying, "sorry for the impersonal nature of this note but..." I mean, when they query a publisher for a client, I'm sure they at least get a nice letter saying, "sorry, but..." Shouldn't we be able to expect that much in turn?

ABNA: Down to the Wire

So it seems that the "potential" finalists in the ABNA contest are going to be notified in a couple of days. I wonder what they mean by "potential". Does that mean that they are actually contacting more than three people, just in case someone is unable to attend the award ceremony or commit otherwise to being a finalist? Um, not to be too blunt or brash, but, what kind of idiot would get into this contest, just to drop out after becoming a finalist? (and if you have actually done this, I'm not trying to offend you, but, what were you thinking?)

Let me give you some insight about how these semi-finalists are feeling right now.

Everyday feels like forever. They consider sitting by the phone from May 6th to May 17th so they don't miss their call. Even when May 6th comes and goes, they wonder if the calls have been made, since Amazon states in the rules "on or about May 6th". They consider, although they did not receive their call, yet, they may still be in those finals. Only when they see the names of the top three on the ABNA home page will they believe they didn't make it in. Or maybe that's just me.

Yep. Been there, done that. I would say, don't get your hopes up, but from experience know that is virtually impossible. Just try not to be too disappointed if your name doesn't appear on that ABNA home page on the 17th. I have a couple I'm rooting for, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for them.

Once this announcement is made, I urge everyone to go review your favorite excerpt. http://www.amazon.com/abna .

The winner receives a publishing contract from Penguin, a $25,000 advance, and all sorts of cool electronics. (jealous) If you're a writer, especially unpublished, you know how important this is.

Beer can chicken

I was asked that my next blog be about beer can chicken, because some people don't know what that is. It has also been referred to as beer butt chicken (although that does not sound too appetizing to me), or drunken chicken.

You need 2 cups wood chips, a whole chicken, a can of beer, and herbs, spices. You want to soak your wood chips in beer or water for about an hour before you cook.

Preheat your grill. You want to set it up for indirect grilling, as the chicken will not be placed directly over the flame. I think you can also do this in the oven, but you would have to look this up yourself. For recipes I use recipezaar.com. You also want to place the wood chips in your grill at some point, depending on how smokey you want your chicken. We put ours in about thirty minutes before the chicken is done.

What you do, is you take a whole chicken and a can of beer. Pour about 1/4 to 1/3 of the beer into a glass and drink it (you don't really have to drink it, but why waste it, right?)

Take the entire top off the can with a can opener. Stuff remainder of the beer with whatever herbs, spices, whatnot you want. I usually put chunks of garlic, onion, and sprigs of rosemary. Last night I also shoved some basil in there. Set aside.

Remove all the innards from the chicken, neck, heart, etc. Put whatever kind of rub you want on it. I usually mix olive oil, lemon, rosemary, garlic, and my special spices. Sometimes I add a little balsamic vinegar to the rub. Rub underneath and on top of the skin. You can shove some in the neck as well.

Now, you are going to slide the beer can inside the chicken's butt, for lack of better words (and why in some places like Missouri it's called beer butt chicken). Pull the legs forward, creating a tripod. The chicken should sit upright over the can. They also sell holders especially made for beer can chicken, which you will see in the above picture. You can find them in the grill section of your local Fred Meyer, Target, Walmart, etc. They make life just a little easier.

Carefully transfer chickens to grill in this same position, placing them in center over drip pan away from heat. If using charcoal, toss half the wood chips on each mound of coals.

If using gas, place chips in smoker box. Barbecue chickens until nicely browned and cooked through, About 1 1/2 hours, keeping temperature about 350 degrees F.

(If using charcoal, replenish coals as needed.) The internal temperature of the birds (taken in thickest part of thigh) should be 165°F.

Carefully transfer birds to platter in same position.

To carve lift bird off of can, and discard can.

Sooooo yummy. If you have any questions, let me know.

Petition to God

I'm going to petition God to add five extra hours to my days. I cannot possibly get everything done in the 16 or 17 waking hours. This is my day, not necessarily in this order, but close.



1. Wake up, usually five or six am.

2. Drink coffee while playing on the computer for one to two hours catching up on two e-mail accounts, checking profiles on Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, Amazon, adding friends, adding music, update status, playing Mafia Wars (don't judge me, I'm a level 171 Master Underboss), checking blog for comments.

3. Get kids to school

4. Eat breakfast

5. Excercise

6. Shower, dress

7. Go to Starbucks

8. Query

9. Blog

10. Write

11. Film a review

12. Edit video, and create review

13. Post review

14. Eat lunch

15. Grocery shop

16. Check computer again for e-mails, Facebook

17. Plan and start dinner

18. Pick up kids from school, while waiting, read another entry to review

19. Continue to cook dinner while helping kids with homework (unless it's math, I don't do math)

20. Eat dinner

21. Hang out with husband on computer (computers play an important role in my life, obviously, maybe too big a role, is there a pill for that?)

22. Watch movie or tv with the family.

23. Collapse

So you see God, would it kill you to give me an extra five hours a day? With all I do, it would be nice to have time to take a bath, or a nap, or sit out in the sun and relax. It's not too much to ask, is it?

I recommend all of you to join me in this. Maybe if we get enough people to petition, God will come through. I mean, really, what would you do with five extra hours a day?