I think I might puke

Tonight my 2nd child, my baby, my youngest daughter graduates from high school. I am at an intersection of sickness and denial. My stomach is in knots, not only for this child but for both.

My older daughter moves to Montana to play soccer in August. My house will be void of the laughter, screaming and messes made by college students. At times, the idea of that comforts me. My house will be cleaner, my electricity bill will decrease, my groceries will last longer. However, this child and all of her friends who consider my home their second, some of them their first home, will be gone. My house will be silent, close to empty. I'm not sure how that will affect me.

My younger daughter will probably still live at home. She wants to go to school, but she has decided to work through the fall and then decide where to go. For her, I think this is a wise decision. Though she will be here, she will have a full time job. She is very independent and likes to go out with her friends. It would not surprise me if she moved out sooner rather than later.

At times I'm like, "When are you leaving already?" Because I think I'm ready and want my basement back, and my house clean, and to enjoy a pee or a shower without interruption (yes, this continues well into their young adulthood). My body wash, underwear, forks, coffee cups, and shoes won't disappear anymore.

But where will that leave me?

Alone. Old. A single person with adult children, shower items, pieces of silverware and clothing intact and accounted for.  I will have all the time in the world on my hands outside of work. Cleaning less, cooking less. No more nagging at them the way mothers do, to do their homework, clean their rooms and pick up after themselves. This is ideal, right?

Then why do I feel sick?

All I can do is wish for their happiness, health and safety. Pray that they don't get hurt. That they succeed at whatever it is they want. For me, I wish to find someone to fill some of that void. To spend some time with so I don't resort to 20 cats or talking to myself...too much (I already do that anyway, just a little, I swear).

So here I am writing this blog on the night of my last child's graduation. Sick, worried, sad, proud, happy, overjoyed really. And I know we have the summer, most of it anyway, but I can't stop thinking about the silence and emptiness of this house. My big yard. My life. My heart.

But every parent reaches this point, right? The time to let go. To allow our children to become the adults, the unique people they were meant to be. And for me to become something other than Mary and Rachel's mom. For me to find whatever it is that is out there beyond motherhood.

Congrats to all the graduates, both college and high school in this class of 2016. And to all you parents going through the same thing...I feel ya.

Since I blogged about Thing Two yesterday...

Yes, I don't want to show favoritism, as both my daughters are cool, talented, beautiful and annoying. So today I'm writing about my older daughter, Mary. Mary isn't "classically" cool. She's funny, fun, friendly, goofy, a little on the airheaded side (sometimes I wonder if it's real of fake). This makes her incredibly likable. I can't say I appreciate her taste in music, but I'm sure a lot of people do. 

Her talent lies in soccer. At one point, I didn't think she'd excel in the sport. She was shy and lackedconfidence. She was a defender at first, and she got better. When she expressed a desire to play up front, I told her, "You have to prove to your coach that you can do it. You have to be aggressive and fight for the ball." The next practice, she did just that. She moved from defense to forward and in the next years she became one of the team's top scorers.

Now she's an excellent team player. Put her up front, she can score. She weaves in and out of players so smoothly she makes it look easy. I think her real talent lies in the midfield. She has a strong foot and can move the ball forward. Her passes are spot on. Plus, she can shoot for the goal from that position if she's open. I love watching her play. She's dedicated too. She eats fairly well, never misses practice, and exercises outside of practice. At her last physical, her doctor told her she was "pure muscle."





Let's talk about beauty. Mary is beautiful, there is no question. She has a confidence that I wish all teenage girls possessed. Her hair is always done when she goes out, unless she's going to work out. She dresses impeccably, when she's not in soccer shorts. And like I said, she's fit.





 There 's more though. You may not know it by looking at her, because she looks like any other popular girl, but she's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She's sweet, kind and thoughtful.

Now for the annoying part. She usually doesn't complain when I ask her to do chores, but it sometimes may take a day...or two...or three...or a week. She constantly has friends over and I can never enjoy my TV room when she's home (because she's bingewatching Gossip Girl or Vampire Diaries, or something similar). She is an exhibitionist to a fault. That's all I'll say about that.

She's really a loving person. She visits her grandparents. She misses me when we've not seen each other in a couple days and tells me so. She also tells me she loves me every day. She helps me when she knows I'm struggling. We talk to each other about everything. 

There you are Mary. No need to be jealous of your sister now. Love you girl.

Reserving judgment

I'm truly getting sick of people and their judgmental attitudes. It's one thing to give someone a little hell for some bad behavior. But then there's this guy. Go ahead, go look. I'll wait here.

Yeah, that guy. The guy hanging out with his kids. He's playing video games. One daughter is painting his toe nails, the other daughter seems completely fascinated with what he's doing.

But for some people it's not enough that this dad is hanging out with his girls, chillin'.  No. He should be engaging. He should be paying them attention. He's ignoring them?!?

I'm sorry, how the fuck do you know what goes on in their home by one picture? And from where I'm sitting, it looks like everyone is having a damn good time. He's cuddled up next to one child, he's got a fun girlcentric coffee table that those daughter's (and maybe with his help) obviously decorated, the house is decorated for Christmas. Who the hell are you to judge? He's a guy spending time with his kids. He didn't tell them to leave him alone. He's not out with the guys at the bar.

I never played with my kids. Playing wasn't my thing. I read to them, colored with them, watched movies with them, talked to them. I stayed in the room and watched them play and engaged with them. Does that make me a horrible mom? I never joined the PTA.  Am I bad now? My girls and I are tight. They have always been well behaved. Never through tantrums in public. But no, I didn't play "with" them. That doesn't mean there wasn't some kind of bonding happening or involvement taking place.

Get off your high horse and get over yourself.

And truly, just stop being so judgmental period. That article, that dad, and my own situations remind me that it's easy to judge and pontificate, it's more difficult to try to open your mind and heart.

I need to stop and think before I so quickly jump onto a soapbox. There are people out there fighting battles we know nothing about, going through torments we don't understand, or reeling from with something they find hard to express or explain. I, we, the human race, especially this time of year need to find it in us to feel compassion, realize tolerance, and find forgiveness.

#HighSchoolTaughtMe

This hashtag is trending on Twitter today.  I like to scroll through and read what people write under the trending hashtags, sometimes I like to participate. As I read through #HighSchoolTaughtMe, I grew very sad about our youth's perspective on high school, and their lives in general.

Little do they know that when they respond to these hashtags, they are giving us a  glimpse into their view of the world. And though it's only 140 characters, it says a lot.

This is what some of them said about #HighSchoolTaughtMe:

• that many teachers do more of the parenting than some actual parents do.
• to cheat in exams.
• that even the ones you look out for the most could turn their back on you.
• it's okay if you're unhappy and completely miserable, so long as you have good grades.
• that people will like you only if you're hot & popular.
• some people are only going to be nice when they need you.
• that most teachers don't care, they're just there to get paid.
• that if you dont have stunning looks or you're not good in a sport than you're a nobody.
• that I don't have a right to my opinion.
• that sophomores post nudes.
• how to hate people.

This is sad, yes? It seems to me that as adults we've gone wrong somewhere to make our children feel this way.  Behave this way. Perceive their world in this way.

Don't get me wrong, They weren't all negative, there were a few positives, like these:

• that we should be happy,we need to be happy, we deserve to be happy .
• that no one's opinion but your own is important in the end.
• to be responsible and free at the same time. How to have fun yet how to not fail my parents.

Um, yeah, the positives were hard to find.

I can't say I blame these kids. In many ways, our public education system is struggling.

Teenagers deal with crap at school every day - drama, peer pressure, violence, bullying. Top that off with those that have the added pressures of sports, music or other activities, then homework on top of that. It can be stressful. Think how you felt at that age, how all your problems seemed like the end of the world. I know from personal experience that the school systems don't know how to handle some of today's teen problems.

In some ways, schools feel like prisons, with on sight cops, drug testing, drug sniffing dogs,  students wearing badges or picture IDs, random sweeps for drug paraphernalia, security cams. I'm not saying these are bad ideas. I'm sure in some areas security like this is necessary and I'd much rather have my kids be safe than me be sorry. But I can understand how a child could feel like an inmate in a school that takes those times of security measures.

Then we have the state of the facilities themselves. 44% of public school principals reported that problems with the school buildings themselves interfered with student's education. Heating and air condition, which I can attest to. I remember when I used to volunteer in the elementary school, the rooms were either freezing or like a sauna, no happy medium.  Size and configuration of the rooms also appeared to be a problem. And then there are the portables. These seem to be a major problem, from noise control to air quality to their overall physical condition, these seem to be a major interference in the education process.

I'm not going to blame the teachers here. I believe teaching is one of the most unappreciated professions on the face of the planet. Yes, there are bad ones. Yes, some don't know their subjects. I read that less than 15% of Math, English and Science teachers have neither majored in nor received a certification in those subjects. However, more than half have a master's degree or higher.  Not bad. Pupil teacher ratios are also good. Luckily we have more teachers in the country, so we have about 16 students per teacher. YAY!

Getting back to these unhappy children...especially the one who stated teachers act more like parents than parents...sigh...there are the kids that deal with shit at home. I know kids with parents who are addicts, who live with other family members. Kids from broken homes, which as mainstream as it is these days, still affects them profoundly. You don't know what else goes on behind closed doors, they could be dealing with abuse, whether it be verbal, emotional or worse.

We need to protect all these kids -  these kids who have it bad at home, these kids who have it bad at school, who hate the learning process for one reason or another. We have to let them know that it's not that bad. 


There are over 3 million high school dropouts annually. That number has gone down in the last few years, but still, 3 MILLION!?! 

 These kids won't go to college. Many will be teenage moms. Half the people on Welfare are dropouts. These are also our future criminals! 75% of crimes are committed by high school dropouts.

This is our responsibility as a society isn't it? To make sure these kids graduate? The signs are all there. These are the kids who skip school, who  do poorly in class, who get in trouble, who have obvious trouble at home.

What can we do? According to the Parents Association we can do this:

• Arrange for help making up missed work, tutoring, placement in a special
  
  program or another school.
• Help with personal problems and/or arrange for professional help.
• Help them schedule work and family obligations so there is also time for school.
• Help them understand the choices they make - marriage, parenting, failing, behavior, suspension, expulsion - and how those things can disrupt their ability to finish school.
• If a student becomes pregnant, help them find school and social programs to help meet their needs.
• If all else fails, help them find a GED program and encourage them to stick with it until they finish.

But here's where I started.

‏@MeganBostic 

#HighSchoolTaughtMe Never live in fear of failure, true friends are the ones that are there when things suck, and nothing lasts forever.

The World is not Perfect

Sometimes when things are going good, the universe needs to balance itself out remind you that life cannot be perfect.

My daughters, I know they are not perfect, but they are beautiful and talented in their own ways and they are doing the best they can in school. They are weird and funny and inappropriate most the time and I love them for it.

I have a boyfriend who brings me flowers once a week and rarely lets me pay for dinner. When my vacuum breaks and he can't fix it (and he can fix mostly everything) he brings one to my house and tells me it fell off the back of a vacuum truck, then proceeds to vacuum half my house to check it out.

The work I do at my day job is awesome. I get to write and be creative and work part time so I can also write and be creative at home and try to continue to work on my goals of becoming a full time fiction writer some day.

I live in a lovely home, in a quiet neighborhood with a big yard, close to the girl's school.

Yes, that is all good. But then there are faulty memories and car accidents in life. There are delicate situations handled improperly by people who are supposed to care.  There are those who do not know when to shut their mouths and leave well enough alone and those who do not speak up when they should.

Balance. The Yin and Yang of life. It's necessary I suppose. Without it, what would we
be? A bunch of vapid, wastes of oxygen with no personality or purpose?

The balance, the struggles, the hard stuff, it challenges us, molds us, gives us character. I've faced many struggles in life and I wouldn't be who I am today without them, and I kind of like the me I am right now.

Also, adversity, it is a test of our strength. How much can we take? How much are we willing to take for the ones we care about, because sometimes the challenge isn't about us, sometimes it's in the name of our parent, child, or a complete stranger. Sometimes we have to be strong for someone else.

I'm not really a religious person, but all this reminds me of a quote from Mother Theresa:

So, I say bring it world. I thank you for all the good things I have, but I'm ready for the challenges too. I've been through worse. I've felt pain, I've seen death, I've hit rock bottom. It may be hard, I may cry, I may yell, but I'm pretty sure I can handle anything that comes my way.

Blogger looks down on women with kids and husbands and is proud of it

Yep. You read that right. Not this blogger. Nope. Her name is Amy Glass and she writes at the Thought Catalog. Here is the blog in question. You can read it, but I'm going to point out the important stuff below.

I would almost bet my children's lives (I said almost, so if I'm wrong, don't come gathering them up or anything) 1. she is young, like college age or just a bit older 2. she doesn't have children.

1. She doesn't think a stay at home mom is an equal to a working woman. 

Hmmm. Having been  a stay at home mom for a number of years I can tell you, it's the hardest "job" I ever had. Being a parent is terrifying. First, you have to carry this fragile being in your body for nine months and pray you both survive it, which doesn't always happen. If you do, you don't just have to feed and nurture that child and ensure that they turn into a civilized human being, you get to worry about them every day of their life, no matter how old they are, that no ill will comes to them. This on top of all the household chores, the grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc, etc.

2. She doesn't consider getting married and having kids milestones. She believes anyone can do them, they are the most common thing ever. "By definition, average."

I guess choosing someone to be with for the rest of your life may seem average to someone who obviously never wants that.  But finding that perfect person, the one soul who belongs to you, that actually takes some work. And sometimes, we don't get it right the first time and some people who want this very thing, never find it at all. By definition, I would say this is magical.

As far as children go, I would say, as I said before, carrying another life inside your body and  praying no harm comes to them  isn't common, it's a miracle. Then I will just quote Elizabeth Stone for the rest of my point...“Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”

3. Ms. Glass asks, "If women can do anything, why are we still content with applauding them for doing nothing?" She would rather throw a shower for"...a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job..." not when she takes, "...the path of least resistance. 

What Ms. Glass fails to realize is that these are all choices and I would guess that most women who backpack through Asia, get promotions, or land dream jobs don't look down on women who make these choices to stay home and raise their children on their own.  They are doing something worthwhile. They are not conforming to the norms of society by keeping their jobs and tossing their kids into the daycare systems. They are making sacrifices, cutting corners, clipping coupons, doing whatever it takes to make this happen because THEY want to be the one to raise their children, to teach them how to be good people. They don't want someone else doing it for them. That's doing nothing? That's not something to applaud?

4. She thinks with a husband and kids you can't do all those great things single childless women do. She says, we think we can, but it's a lie. That we will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to do it.


Really? I am 44 years old, almost 45. I was a stay at home mom until my kids were in middle school, so about 12 years. I have been to Rome, Venice, NY and various other places across the country. I had my book published by one of the top publishers in the world. I'm a legal marketer for one of the best law firms in my city and I'm exceptional at it and they pay me well because I'm good. I'm planning a road trip across the country in the next year. 

On top of that, my daughters are awesome. They do not get into trouble. They do not disrespect me in any way. Mine is the house the kids come and hang out at. One daughter is an exceptional soccer player, the other a musician. Does that sound like a lie to you? Does that sound like I'm not doing all the things a single childless woman can do?

5. She states how it's only women who talk about the hardships about managing a household, never men. She thinks it's because it is so women don't have to explain their lack of accomplishments and that men aren't conditioned to think things like that are "important." She states, "Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business."

Men don't talk about it because mostly they're not the ones doing it. Unless of course they're a stay at home dad. I wonder what Ms. Glass thinks about that. They must be real failures in life. And being a stay at home mom isn't simply about "doing laundry." It's about all the things I mentioned above. It's about choices, and sacrifice, and bringing life into this world. 

I will end with this: Being a stay at home mom was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I had a great job with the government, but I hated leaving my kids at daycare every day. I wasn't even sure I was going to be a good mom, yet there I was, making the decision to do it full time, on top of all the other household chores.  But you know what, I was good at it. 

My kids tell me they love me every day. Their friends tell me they love me. Don't get me wrong, they're teenagers, life isn't perfect. We have all squabbles. Mostly they're about grades and messes. I'm not having to get mad at my kids about drugs and alcohol, stealing or anything like that. I know parents whose kids tell them to "fuck off." My kids would never dream of saying that to me. So, Amy, don't tell me I didn't accomplish anything in those years I stayed home. I accomplish more than you ever will if you keep this attitude.

One other thing, Ms. Glass, without children give or take the husband - I'm well aware of the divorce rate in this day and age, I'm divorced myself, though I'm with someone right now who is very special to me - you will live a very lonely existence. Yes, you will have your friends and your parents and siblings if you have any, but when you get old, who will take care of you? Who will drive you to the grocery store, take you to lunch, visit you in the nursing home? No one. Think about that next time you decide to look down on a group of people who not only have made some big, difficult choices and sacrifices, but have created something beautiful, lasting and that will be there for them when they need it most.

The end is nigh...

...of the year that is. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life lately. I
suppose we all do this time of year, right? I mean, it's the time in which we decide what's good in our lives and what's toxic and make those resolutions we sometimes keep and sometimes ditch after a couple days.

For me, this year, like some of the last few has had its ups and downs, but every year the ups seem to get higher and the lows , not as low, so that's a good thing. I've also found myself depressed this holiday season. I know many suffer this time of year. Mine aren't so much the holidays as they are my own personal demons based on this time of year, but I've been making strides and I think big changes that have taken place in my life, on my terms have helped.

 I've made big decisions. Good decisions. It's like I'm starting my resolutions early.

Publishing my book. I'm so happy I did it. I've not had a lot of time to publicize it yet, but in the new year I'm going to get to it and hopefully will sell more copies. It is selling slowly but surely and I have friends helping me out in the publicity department, word of mouth, posting on Facebook and retweeting for me. I hope to have another book out next fall.

I'm writing a new book I'm really excited about. Dual points of view, a boy and a journal, a little bit of suspense, a little humor, a little sadness, a lot of social issues, which I write best. :)
 
 I've decided to spend more time with my kids. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the fact that, one daughter will be going to college next year and the other gets her license, but I was starting to miss my daughters terribly last month. I mean, they live with me a week at a time, and I see them on my off weeks, but they're teenagers and they have their own agenda and I'm busy, so it seems like we rarely see each other. We made a plan to have a night a week together.


I went back to the doctor to resolve my tiredness. It's been frustrating and it's been going on for well over a year. I've never been a napper and to have to take 2-3 hours out of my day, hours in which I can be productive, in order to sleep, just irritates me. I've already had blood tests for everything, it has nothing to do with exercise because it was happening while I was exercising regularly, I eat right, so we added a medication and cut back on another, PLUS we're going to do a sleep study.

I've started walking again. I will get back to kickboxing once my schedule clears up, but I've always loved walking. I used to walk, no matter the weather, it could be pouring rain, freezing, didn't matter. I've always loved how the fresh air clears my mind. It's not only good for my health, but it helps with my writing and I truly think it's good for my soul.

Other than that, I've made some other difficult decisions that I think will put a positive spin on my life, I've started seeing someone new and it's been awesome so far (we've known each other since 5th grade), and I feel really good about about 2014.

Have you made any positive changes this year? Any changes planned for 2014? This is my current theme song, it's helped me get through a lot this holiday season...

I thought today was Friday

It's not. That's how my Thursday is starting out. So there's that.

It was Thing One's birthday yesterday, and as I sit here staring at the mess they left me this morning of remnant from the "R" rated movie they went to in the form of Hot Tamales and Sugar Babies boxes (my daughter was the last of her friends to turn seventeen, hence the "R" rated flick), the empty glasses, empty bottles of Jarritos and gatorade, remnants of popcorn, smores, and nachos (Geezuz, how much can 5 teenage girls eat!!), I realize that this mess is not too much unlike what my life has become.

A chaotic mess.

And one with little time for anything else to squeeze into it.

My day job, the legal marketing job at the personal injury law firm, my duties have become so much that I cannot get
anything done there. I do one task and BAM, it's time to go home. Sometimes I have to finish up at home. I work part time, and I could work more hours, but I'm trying to wait until I get my book out, which is proving to be difficult because I'm finding it hard to take time to finish finding all those damn typos in my proof copy.

This could be a catch 22.

And I have my responsibilities as a mother. My kids have soccer tournaments, music gigs. I just had both last weekend, both at least a 30 minute drive away.

Then there is the household duties. The girls have pitched in a lot this summer, I've forced them to step it up with the yard work, but I still need to be a good example and pitch in when I can, pick up my own messes, do yard work, tend my garden.

I've been trying to cook for them more often.

I try to kickbox at least twice a week, although I'd like to do it 3 or 4 times.

I'm seeing someone right now, and while this is probably the least important thing on the list (god I hope he doesn't read this and if he does, understand what I'm saying), I love spending time with him, he makes me laugh and makes me happy, and it's the only time I ever relax.

And I'm exhausted. My body forces me to nap almost every day and that's no joke. When I get home from work, I literally have to sleep or I know I will not be able to do whatever it is I have to do later, be it kickboxing, working from home, on my book, whatever.

And forget about writing. I've not written a new word in weeks. sigh.

I know I should write this list of things down and prioritize and slash. Or time manage better, but honestly, I don't know how to do that.

Help? Calgon take me away?

My boyfriend asked me to take Monday off and for the first time in my life I said, "I don't think I can, I have too much work."

WTF?

Fuck that. That's not me.

I've never been someone who lives to work. I work to live, period.

Right at this moment, I think the BF just moved up a notch on the list and the day job moved to the bottom.

You gotta love writing this shit out.

How do you balance the things in your life? Are you a good time manager? Do you have any tips for a lost cause like me?

Monkey Madness Monday: Megan Messina Bostic is in a relationship with...

Too funny

Yep, I've been labeled.  I'm now someone's girlfriend.  This is a good thing.  We've been together for mmmm, at least a month now, known each other for four years (kind of.  too hard to explain at the moment), it's time to tell the world.

It's been a few months, having someone in my life that is.  This time it's different. Or maybe it's just because it's new.  Who knows?

I'm not used to having someone "do" for me.  I'm the one that is usually doing the "doing". (my god does that even make sense?)  That's not a bad thing either, I mean, in my marriage I was a stay at home mom, so I did for my kids and I did for my husband.  While former grew up and latter worked.

I've been on my own for over a year now, and I've grown accustomed to "doing" for myself be it housework, or putting things together or fixing shit.

My boyfriend (it almost says weird saying it or writing it for some reason) does for me.  It almost seems unreal.  He cooks for me (did I mention he's a chef? There goes my diet), he help me clean the kitchen, he put up my Christmas lights, changed light bulbs, wrapped my pipes.  In my moments of utter neuroticy (I made that word up), he calms me down and makes me take a moment to breathe.

So there it is.  Megan Messina Bostic is in a relationship (picture the Facebook red heart next to that statement).  So far, so good.

Oh, two more things.  Don't forget about my contest on Facebook.  You can win a bunch of Never Eighteen swag and a signed ARC.

Also, I cannot comment on blogs when the comment box is on the post page.  I can only comment if they load on pop outs or new pages.  Others may be having this problem too.  You may want to consider changing your settings on your comments if you're not getting comments.

Thursday

I've got no pithy title for Thursdays anymore.  My brain is scattered with everything going on right now.  This time of year always makes me a little crazy, and with the release of Never Eighteen in a few months, um, crazy has turned into hysterical.  School, soccer, drivers ed, book everything, revising Sad, planning a release, marketing.  Too much at once.

I took three naps last week.

I don't nap.

No, seriously, anyone who knows me can tell you I'm not a napper. I hate napping because there are other things I could be doing.  But I think my body was rebelling against the perpetual motion.  It screamed, "Slow the f#@% down!!!!" 

So I hired a Girl Friday.  Yep. I did.  Can I afford it?  Probably not, but I need to keep my sanity.  And I need to get things done.  But when you have a day job, then have to drive your kids various places until 7 pm with soccer games on the weekend, time is fleeting, and I'm too tired to work on book stuff.

She starts Monday.  I've hired her mostly to drive my children around, but she'll also do light cleaning, yard work, errands etc, etc.  I'm pretty stoked about this.  It almost makes me feel important.  Almost, but not quite.

We'll see how things go.

F³A: Divorce Class

So, when you go for the big "D" in Washington state (and other states I suppose) you have to take a mandatory four hour parenting class (thankfully we didn't have a group of stupid question askers [yes, Virginia, there is such thing as a stupid question] and our instructors wanted to get home as badly as we did, so it was only three hours).

And while the class was somewhat entertaining (reasons to follow) I'm not sure I got much out of it.  Why you ask? Okay, maybe you didn't, but I'm going to tell you anyway.  First off, most the folks in the class had kids under the age of 6, which is true in most divorce cases I suppose, but which also means, most the curriculum is younger kids based. 


The curriculum also seemed geared toward parents that hated and wanted to disparage each other in front of their children.  The girl's father and I get along really good.  We don't speak harshly about one another.  We know that the other is a good parent even though we didn't work. We would never think of downing each other in front of the kids or trying to turn them against the other.


Also, it talked about how to talk to your kids.  My kids and I have always spoken openly and honestly.  They know what's going on with me, I know what's going on with them.  And they're at the age where they understand what's happening and can express themselves if they need to, and they know that I (and their father for that matter)  will listen.


So, to the entertainment portion of the program.  We got to watch some scenes from Mrs. Doubtfire, which I hadn't seen in a long time and which is still hysterically funny, especially from a these-were-the-worst-parents-on-the-face-of-the-earth aspect as they made every mistake a divorced couple could make.  Fighting in front of the kids, talking bad about the other to the kids, etc, etc.


We also saw a scene from the Squid and the Whale which I HAVE to see now because it looks hilarious.  It stars fake Mark Zuckerberg (who I love in a completely and totally not stalkerish, courgar fashion)

But the piece d' resistance was the Feelings Chart.  This was a chart to show your children when they are having trouble expression themselves, to better find out how they're feeling.  Okay, after trying unsuccessfully to upload the funniest pictures, I've decided to draw my own to depict what they kind of looked like.


This first one was guilt.  It was a boy standing over a broken lamp holding a baseball bat.  The bat was placed in a spot in which if you weren't really looking at the back end of it, the front end resembled something coming out of his zipper. er.


This second one was greed.  It was a boy who had stole something (I couldn't tell what, a bag of money, a bag of marbles?)  But where the bully's hand was placed, it looked like inappropriate touching.  And the items that spilled from the bag made it look like the poor tormented boy peed his pants.
 
This next one had a boy with a tv in front of him.  I may be exaggerating the details a little.  The title was 'terrified'.  In the real picture the tv just depicted a menacing guy with a big knife.  But I thought it would be more funny to put blood gushing and death, because, well, that's how I roll.  

This next one was called Happy.  It was a girl unwrapping a present, but to me it looked like a girl whose legs were on fire.

The last one was the best.  I can't even begin to depict the entire wrongness of the picture.  It was 'Kind'.  It was a boy holding a carrot, feeding a bunny.  You could not really tell what the bunny was.  But it was the carrot that was most disturbing.  You could not tell it was a carrot first of all.  Secondly, where it was placed made the picture look pornographic.  I stared at it for about five minutes before someone else finally said, "What IS that in the kind picture?"


Needless to say, many of us parents found this chart inappropriate for children.





Next song on the radio (my iPod is dead): Use Somebody, Kings of Leon


Movie of the Week: Black Swan.  I haven't seen it, I'm going to.

Book of the Week: Tell Me a Secret.  Find my review on Goodreads
Quote of the Week:

"The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the
sleeping world. "
— Leonard Cohen

Celebrate something this weekend.

~megan

F³A: Friday Already?!?!?

The title of this blog drips with sarcasm.  This week has seemed long.  Just getting back in to the swing of things after a week long illness and five day vacation.  It's been difficult.  I've had nightmares rivaling something from Elm Street, keeping me awake at night.  This of course has caused a week's worth of grumpity tiredness.  

Neighborhood cats are stalking me.

Birthday parties.

Did I mention work?

I can think of nothing but writing, feeling hot on my WIP Sad.  However, there are not enough hours in my  my day sometimes to squeeze it in between work, kids, grocery shopping, exercise (yes I have been, but had to take a couple days off because my butt and thighs staged a rebellion), cooking, driving, cleaning (okay, maybe not cleaning, please no surprise visits this weekend).  I have done some writing, I'm up to 4K on the novel.  Not much, but more than before.

Maybe this weekend between birthday parties and football I can get a good chunk of words out.  That's my goal at least.  I think I'll go for 3K.

I can't write anymore.  I keep getting distracted by the clock and Facebook and email.  Plus, I have to be at work soon and have yet to brush my teeth and put shoes on. (have I mentioned how much I hate wearing shoes?  And coats.  I hate coats and it's really effing cold here)

Book of the week: Tell Me a Secret by Holly Cupala.  Just started it yesterday.  Very good. And she's local and a Diva Girl (which one day I long to be)

Random song that pops up on my iPod:  Just Breathe by Pearl Jam.  Very apropos for me today.

Movie of the Week:  Inception.  Trippy cool.

Quote of the week: "I was so scared to give up depression, fearing that somehow the worst part of me was actually all of me. "
— Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation (this quote reminds me of an email I just sent this morning)

Have a great weekend my friends.

Peace out.

~Megan

(look I learned how to make a new monkey)

_________m___m__________

                  o(o o)o

                    ( ~ )

Top Four Reasons I'm the Coolest Mom in the World: #1

It's all in the attitude.

I don't look my age, I don't act my age, therefore, I don't feel my age. I'm a friend to my kids, but not one of those "my kids are my best friend" moms. I dish out as much discipline as I do friendship.

But, I goof around with them. I tickle them. I hug them.

I act like I'm going to beat them (they think this is hilarious)

I do goofy stuff like dance in the living room and kick box in the kitchen.

I act crazy.

I play soccer with them, and when I get injured I play it up good. This always cracks them up.

I sing loudly to the radio.

I give them an hour of independence every day after school.

I feign crying, screaming, and death.

I give them money for Starbucks.

I talk to them honestly about boys, alcohol, drugs, and sex. (and am told really gross stuff in return. I have mentioned Icy Hot before, right?)

Basically, I treat them like they're human. I do little things every day to make them smile. I do big things to heal their hearts, or take their sadness away, or fill them with love.

And they may think I'm the coolest mom in the world, but I think they're the coolest kids.

(nano words, 9,436)

Top Four Reasons I'm the Coolest Mom in the World: #2

It has to be the clothes.

1. skinny jeans. I don't know hardly any other moms that wear skinny jeans. My girls think I am cool because of the skinny jeans.

2. knee socks. I wear them just about every day. With jeans, mini skirts, on the soccer field over my shin guards. It's my thing.

3. high tops. I have two pair now. both black, one with pink hearts with wings, the other pair with purple peace signs.

4. knit cap. I have invested in these almost as much as knee socks, though I pretty much just stick with the black one. It's my favorite.

5. cool t-shirts. My favorite says Bite Me. It's supposed to be a Halloween shirt, but I wear it all year long.

This is pretty much what I wear on a daily basis. The jeans are at times interchangeable with mini skirts. My kids think this is very cool. They told me once as I was sitting around with a leg up on the arm of the chair checking my text messages that I look like a teenager. I did not hate this comment at all.

(nano words, 6503)

Top Four Reasons I'm the Coolest Mom in the World: #4

Okay, seriously, my thirteen year old daughter told me how cool the kids at school think I am, so I was trying to figure out why. Why am I the coolest mom ever? What is it about me that appeals to teenagers.

This comment was made on Halloween, so my # 4 is this: When the teenagers come to our door, we don't give them the little tiny candies you get in the 10 pound bags. We give them full size candy bars.

You should see their faces when I hand them a big Milky Way or 3 Musketeers. They light up. They become children again, forgetting all their teenage problems. Okay, maybe that's a bit melodramatic, but they do love it.

So, if you ever want to get in the good graces of the teens in your neighborhood, give them big candy bars on Halloween.

Hell, I wonder what they'd think of me if I handed out the King Size.


(2,097 Nano words)

Top Four Worst Things About Having Kids in Middle School #3 Exposure to Drugs

This isn't so much a problem with me, my kids are not using, nor do I think they ever would (yes, it's possible, but I know my kids).

BUT, I know many parents do have this problem. When my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, a fellow sixth grader was expelled for having marijuana in their locker. My daughter is constantly hearing about kids attending pot parties on Friday nights. The sad thing is, many of these kids who supply the pot, are getting it from their parents, and sharing it with your kids.

Last year, there was some kind of sting operation in which another student got expelled and seventeen others got in big trouble.

And of course, the kids doing the drugs are also the kids doing "other" things.

My children attend a good school too. It's not like they go to a school filled with trouble kids and drugs and alcohol. You're going to find these problems in EVERY school.

Hopefully, most kids know to "just say no".

Top Four Worst Things About Having Kids in Middle School #4 Homework

Both my girls are in middle school now. One in eighth grade, one in sixth. And while my kids are good kids, when they reach grade six, they are exposed to so much more than they were in elementary school.

I am just happy to have open communication with them. I think that is imperative when kids reach this age.

Of course, my # 4 isn't anything deep or serious. It's homework. More, my inability to help with homework at this level. My oldest daughter is in algebra, highly capable. Um, let's see, I haven't taken algebra since 1982, and I certainly wasn't in any highly capable math class. So, she's on her own. Luckily she's around to help daughter #2 with her homework.

Then there's Spanish, Social Studies, Science, and all sorts of other classes I was never good at.

Thank god for Language Arts (that's what they call English these days). That I can help with and not feel like a complete dunderhead.

So, there it is. #4, Homework, the other three are way worse.