Thursday, December 18, 2014

Are you meeting your husbands needs?

Okay, I know I'm kind of down on Family Share this week, but honestly, all their articles aren't that bad. However, I found another one on their website that made me throw up in my mouth. Your husband has 5 basic needs. Are you meeting them? And the blurb: Fulfilling your husband's needs does not mean you're inferior to him. It means you love him and want to make him happy. Are you doing that?

Um... But then the author goes on to say that we should be unselfish and put our husband's needs above your own. I mean, we should want to make him happy, after all, he only has 5 basic needs to be fulfilled...right.

1. Recreational companionship

Basically the author says that whatever your husband wants to do, you should do. Yep. If your husband likes to golf, you should take up golf. If your husband likes to snow ski, you should go snow skiing.

Let me tell you what happens when you do whatever your husband wants to do and put your own hobbies aside.  Frustration. Anger. Resentment. How about you do things together that you both like to do, but you both have things you do on your own because having individual hobbies and interests makes for a healthy relationship. You cannot spend every waking hour of free time together or you will go crazy and end up hating each other.

2. Sexual fulfillment

 She's telling you not to make sex a game. Okay, I agree with this. Don't use it as a weapon or a chess piece. But her condescending tone about our attitude and effort involved in our sexually fulfilling our spouse's needs is a bit sickening. Hey lady, at my age, I'm the one who needs the fulfilling, not the other way around. Capisce?

3. Admiration 

Okay, this truly wants to make me retch. The article states how hard your husband works for you, how he's doing his part and how we need to tell him how much we love and appreciate him.

I didn't realize I was sitting on the couch watching soap operas and eating bon bons all day. I'm so sorry. Let me get a tub out and wash his feet and then feed him grapes and fan him while he lies down on a chaise lounge. Perhaps I should wait on him hand and foot after his hard day. I mean, I've done nothing all day but work, do the grocery shopping, tended to the kids, cleaned the house and washed the laundry.

4. Domestic support

"Domestic support involves the creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment."  While the husband is "doing his part" we should be cooking, washing dishes, keeping the home clean, etc.

In my experience "doing his part" usually consisted of playing Mafia Wars, checking fantasy football stats and taking a shit. Um, I even took out the garbage and mowed the lawn. But sure, let me take care of all that while he's "doing his part."

Oh, and here's my favorite...

5. An attractive spouse

 Did you get that? I said An attractive spouseApparently we as wives and mothers get comfortable, i.e. dumpy, in this woman's mind.  We need to make an effort to be attractive for our spouse. We should freshen up before he gets home. Because there's nothing like feeling pretty when you've been slaving over a hot stove after a full day at work feeling like your face has melted, and you're covered in baby spit and boogers. Meanwhile when he gets home he flips on the TV, gets in some kind of crappywear, such as sweats or baggy shorts with holes in them and that shitty t-shirt he won't let you throw out, grabs a beer, makes himself comfortable, sticks his hand down his pants and farts on the couch. You know, because that is oh, so attractive.

The author of this article says that if you meet these five needs of your husband your will build a stronger marriage. Just like the article I wrote about Tuesday and yesterday, I say, what makes a strong marriage is mutual respect, open communication, honesty and spending time together, but also having interests outside each other and the home.

Without the things I mention, a marriage is bound to fail. With the 5 things the author of the Family Share article mentions, you're bound to turn into June Cleaver, telling your husband over a martini that he was a little too hard on the Beaver last night.


  1. Ack! Ack! Ack! Our 38th anniversary is in two weeks, but I'm here to tell you, there wouldn't be one if I'd had to live by this bullshit list.

  2. Yeah. Every time my ex wanted me out in the yard gardening with him I wanted to cut him. haha. I didn't mind mowing the lawn and stuff, but tending a garden was his thing. But there were things we did together that we both liked. Such a stupid list.


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