Are we perpetuating a bully culture?

My eyes were opened this morning.

I posted a Jimmy Kimmel video on Facebook today. The one in which he has parents send in clips of them telling their kids they ate all their Halloween candy, and then the child's reaction. And I admit, I laughed. I thought it was funny.

Until...

I went to a friend's Facebook profile and he had stated that he disliked the video because he felt it was simply parents bullying their children.

My first reaction was O.o. 

My second reaction was shame and guilt. Why? Because you know what, he was absolutely right. Why was it so funny to watch those parents torment their own children and seeing reactions that ranged from crying to screaming to being disrespectful to throwing things?

Answer: it wasn't. Not when I took a step back and thought about it. Granted, there were a handful (3 I think) out of the slew of kids on the video that were fine with their parents eating their candy. The rest of those children were destroyed.

Halloween is one of probably 2 magic nights a year for children and Jimmy Kimmel and their parents, the people they are supposed to be able to trust more than anyone in the world, ruined it, even if it was only for a moment. 

I thought to myself, I would never do that to my kids. Sure, I'd hide a scary clown in a bed or jump out of a closet, tickle them till they almost peed, but taking candy from a baby? Everyone knows that's not right. Okay technically they didn't really do it, but the damage was done and the joke was for their own entertainment and so they could be on television.

What are we teaching our children?

It's okay to just pretend to eat all your candy because you  were only terrorized for a minute?

Um, wait, that can't be it.



It's okay to do mean things if you're getting attention for it?

No, that can't be right either.

Bullying is okay because I'm your parent and you're just a stupid little kid because I said so?

Damn, that doesn't sound right either.

So why? Jimmy Kimmel's little Halloween prank does nothing but perpetuate a bully culture in the worst way possible - between a parent and child.

Love, affection, trust, honesty. These are things children should always be able to expect from their parents without question. To sacrifice this in the name of entertainment isn't just bullying, it's a betrayal of the parent-child bond. Plus, it's teaching a child that as long as something is funny to you, it doesn't matter how it makes the other person feel.

Good job Jimmy Kimmel. Hope you're pleased with yourself. I know a lot of people who are pretty pissed off, aside from the 20 kids in your stupid video.

Anti-Bully Project

If you didn't know, October was Bully Prevention Month. I wrote a guest post for the Anti-Bully Project a few days ago, titled Keeping Our Kids Free From the Collective Mind. It can be read here. There have been guest posts all month to raise awareness about bullying and to help put an end to it.

Along with my post (and many others), authors have donated items to give away. I'm donating a copy of my forthcoming book, Dissected and a swag pack. If you follow the above link, you can also find out how to enter the contest.

If you've been bullied and are looking for help, visit the resource page at the Anti-Bully Project for a list of website that want to help.

If you want to find out how to do your part in the fight against bullying, you can visit:

The National Bullying Prevention Center
Stop Bullying Government Site
Stomp Out Bullying

Losing Faith in Humanity

You may have seen this video. It's actually from 2011, but has recently gone viral.

This wicked woman actually steals this ball out of the hands of this little girl.

This was a foul ball hit by Juan Miranda, then actually thrown up by a Diamondback to the little girl.

It's deplorable that this woman is then cheered and high fived by her friends. If I were that little girl's parent. I would have stormed my ass right down there and stripped the ball right out of her greedy, evil hands. What a bitch!

She's not the only adult to have stolen a baseball from a child, there's this dude, and a few in this video too. Luckily the stadium officials usually get wind of this and the kids get balls anyway, but still, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Were they bullies when they were children? Were they just not taught manners? Are they just that

selfish and greedy that they would steal a stupid baseball from a kid? It's not even signed! And these are grown adults. Other kids, sure, I would get that. But of the videos I've seen, the kids are the ones giving their balls up to the younger kids.

Maybe I shouldn't be losing my faith in humanity, maybe these younger generations are better than us. Maybe they're watching the greedy, evil adults and saying to themselves, I don't want to be like that.

One can only hope I guess.

Thursday Things I Hate: Bullies

It still is National Bully Prevention Month and I wanted to share the story of Molly Burke. I thank the beautiful ladies at The Middle Ages and my wonderful friend Gae Polisner for sharing her story otherwise, I'd never had come across it.

It is heartbreaking. It is horrible. You wonder how humans can treat their own kind in this cruel fashion. 

I urge you to watch the first two minutes otherwise you won't understand this girls story in full traumatic detail. (it's not the best quality video, but the audio is what's important).

 Molly's speech is from the We Day even in Canada. We Day is a movement of young people leading local and global change, which offers curricular resources, campaigns and materials to help turn the day’s inspiration into sustained activation.

The movement is a blueprint for young people to take action as agents of social change. This generation believe they can make an impact on society, remove barriers, create change to make the world a better place. Find out more about We Day here. Find out more about Molly Burke here.

It's inspiring to see young people trying to make a positive difference in society, but it's even more inspiring to see a young girl rise above adversity to inspire others that may be in her same situation to show them that they're not alone and they can overcome the obstacles in their paths.

Let's work together to end bullying once and for all and as Gandhi says, be the change we wish to see in the world.

Bully Prevention Month: Amanda Todd

She's all over cyberspace, so I'm sure you've already heard her story, if not, here's a video she made one month before her suicide. You should really watch it in its entirety. It's a tragic and haunting look at how bullying can destroy a life. She was only fifteen.

I don't even care what she did. People make mistakes. We all have. It doesn't give anyone the right to humiliate, stalk, and terrorize someone to the point that they become depressed, harm themselves and think their only way out of it is to die.

Perhaps the most troubling thing about this, she's continuing to be bullied in death. People are posting horrible memes. They calling her names, even on the dedication pages made in her honor. They're making fun of her tragic situation. It's cruel and inhuman.

We need to do whatever we can to put an end to this. Bullying is a pandemic and as it did with Amanda it can have a deadly effect.

What can we do? Make bullying illegal. Other than that, I don't know. Here's a start: the Stop Bullying Website. Also, here's a petition to arrest the cyberstalker. Officials have received an anonymous tip about his whereabouts and the fact that he's a 30 year old, which makes him a pedophile as well.

 Let's not let Amanda die in vain. Make a stand. Do something.


If I get any negative or nasty remarks on this post, I will delete them and perhaps even report them.

National Bully Prevention Month: Unity Day

Today is Unity Day. What is Unity Day you ask? It's a call to action to "Make it orange, make it end, and unite against bullying ." Those in support wear orange to unite  and send a message to anyone being bullied to show them that they're not alone. Most of us have been bullied at some point in our lives and we're making a stand against it. I think it's also sending a message to bullies that we're standing up to them, together.

 Ellen Degeneres is a big Unity Day proponent and wears orange in support. To find out more about Unity Day and to find great ideas to promote Unity Day visit the Pacer National Bully Prevention Center website.

 

Bully Prevention Month: my bully story

We all have bully stories, right?

Bullying in my elementary came in all forms, physical, mental, and sexual. If you read my post on Uniquely Moi yesterday, you'll see that there was a boy named Mark that tormented me from kindergarten to 3rd grade. He was mean for sure, but he also made sexual remarks that no child that age should have even knew to make.

I don't know if times were just different then, or if it was the school I went to, which I would find hard to believe as I lived in one of the more affluent neighborhoods in the city and went to one of the schools with the highest test scores. But there were numerous boys with this kind of knowledge, and the girls in school were sexually harassed throughout our elementary school years, which wouldn't be tolerated in this day and age.

Anyway, I digress. Today I'm going to tell you about a boy I went to school with named David. The incidents I'm remembering happened around 3rd and 4th grade. One instance took place while I was babysitting in his apartment building. I was on the third floor. He must have seen me go in the building. He stood outside and serenaded me the Beatles, I Want to Hold Your Hand, instead he replaced the word hand with another body part *cough*. He sang it over and over and yelled for me to come down. It felt like he was out there all day. I'm sure it was only about five minutes or so. I might have been embarrassed, but I also remember feeling fear, intimidation.Imight mention that he was about a foot taller than me.

Then one day at school a group of girls including me, were walking down the hall and saw his jacket lying in the hallway, well, we thought it would be funny to just toss it in the bathroom. No big deal right? Well, it ended up in the toilet. The bunch of us were called into the office, of course no one fessed up.

During PE class, when our teacher walked into his office for a few minutes, David came up to me and accused me. I told him I didn't do it. he shoved me. I told him again I didn't do it. Back then we all wore hoodies, well, he grabbed my hood and began pulling me back and forth by it, cussing me out and choking me. I couldn't scream, I couldn't breathe. I was losing consciousness. No one was trying to stop him from what I remember. It was only when the teacher came back out did it stop.

He moved away after 4th grade. Needless to say, I didn't miss him.
What's your bully story?

Bully Prevention Month

Did you know it's Bully Prevention Month? It's a month long effort that encourages everyone to take an active role in the bullying prevention movement. To find out more you can visit Pacer.org.

There are two awesome bloggers that are doing their part, Jodie from Uniquely Moi and Amy from Lady Book Stuff. They've asked a bunch of us to write guest posts about bullying and are giving away daily prizes. Today you'll find my guest post, Portrait of a Bully at Uniquely Moi. Visit their Facebook page to find out who will be up tomorrow.

Wednesday is Unity Day. If you care about students who are bullied and want bullying to end, make your color ORANGE on Unity Day, Wednesday, Oct. 10. That's the day everyone can link together—in schools, communities and online—and send one large, ORANGE message of support to students who have experienced bullying.

Ways to unite on Oct. 10 in your school, home or community:

1. Wear the color orange. 
2. Write the word “UNITY” on your hand, on your notebook, or on a poster to hang in your locker or hallway
3. Set up a “unity” table.

•  Hand out orange “unity ribbons.” (Create your own ribbons. Purchase a spool of ribbon at craft or dollar store. Cut into 12” strips. With black marker, on the ribbon, write UNITY, “The End of Bullying Begins With Me”, or create your own bullying prevention message)
• Give the opportunity to donate for the ribbons and send the proceeds to PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center.

Online:

1. On Oct. 10, update your Facebook status to “UNITY DAY, October 10th— Join the movement to make it orange and make it end! If you are being bullied, you are not alone. Unite and be a champion against bullying!
2. Share” the Unity Day event with your friends.
3. Post pictures of anyone wearing orange to this UNITY DAY Event page
4. Sign “The End of Bullying Begins With You” Petition.

 
Let's work together to help end this nationwide problem.

Bullied to Death

Bullying has been around since the beginning of time, but now it's starting to take a deadly toll. Ellen Degeneres spoke  about young people that are being harassed, teased, and bullied to the point that they take their own lives. 

What are we teaching our children today that would cause them to treat another human being so cruelly?  This kind of behavior must be stopped, at home, at school, in our community.  And this isn't just about homosexual teens, kids tease for many different, senseless reasons.

Just yesterday my daughter was hanging out with some so-called-friends who told her some of the people she hangs out with are losers and asked why she would hang out with them.  Then they asked her to choose who she would rather hang out with them, or the losers.

I'm proud of her for standing up for herself and her friends.  She told them she would never choose between friends.  And you know what?  One of the kids, a boy spit in her face.   She ended up kicking him in the balls, and normally I would not condone violence, but she got to the point of frustration with these kids harassing her, so I don't say I blame her.

Parents, teachers, and peers need to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves and help put a stop to bullying before it costs someone else their life.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has dedicated part of their website to help put an end to bullying, for kids and adults alike.  Check it out to find out what you can do to help.