Wending Wednesday

Okay, these "W" words are killing me.  I'm going to keep changing them until I get some comments on my Wednesday posts.  The word "wend" means to travel or journey.  So I thought I would talk about  my writing journey.

I've always like to write, from the time I could, really.  Poems for my mom when I was little, to broody angsty songs and poetry in my teen years, to articles for the school paper and yearbook in my college days.

My novel writing began with death, which may or may not have an impact on why I write about death so often.  Many of you have probably already heard this story, but I'll repeat it for my new followers.  My mother-in-law was diagnosed with late stage cancer late 2001.  Rather than have her spend her last days in a nursing home, I quit my job and my husband and I took her in and cared for her with the help of hospice and family.

Her doctor said she had six months to a year to live.  She has also suffered a stroke a few years before, so she couldn't speak, and had to be fed through a tube in her stomach.  I sang to her, fed her, sat with her.  It was a rewarding experience.  Unfortunately, she only lasted three weeks.

Before quitting my job, my husband and I decided I would not go back to work after her death.  So I had time, and I was grieving, and I needed something to do, so I started my first novel.  It was titled Dena Powers: Superhero?

I'll continue the story next Wednesday.

Thanks for reading.

Megan

The Caregivers of the World: Hospice

Hospice workers are awesome.  When my mother-in-law lived with us I saw first hand.  They bring in all the equipment you need.  The nurse's are great.  Very caring, informative.  They'll give the patient their meds and teach you how to do it as well.  They schedule days to come in and bathe them.  And my MIL not only had cancer, but she'd also had a stroke a few years earlier and didn't have the use of her tongue.  So they  taught me how to feed her through her feeding tube.

They aren't only there for their patient, but also for you.  They answer your questions, explain the stages of the illness, what's happening, what we could do to make it better, to understand it.  In a way they help us to accept what is imminent and support us after.  They're available 24/7.

My mother-in-law passed so quickly we didn't really have the opportunity to take advantage of all hospice had to offer.  They have many people willing to volunteer their time and talents to make people's last days as comfortable and fulfilling as possible, artists, massage therapists, etc.  Plus there are people who will just come sit with them, talk to them, or read to them.

They inspired me to make my MIL's stay as fun and comfortable as possible also.  So on top of caring for her, I'd pull my karaoke machine in and sing to her, watch movies with her, just sit and talk to her.

We used Franciscan Hospice whose slogan is, We bring light to the end of life, and you know what?  They really do.  If you're looking for a charity to donate too this year, or a way to volunteer your time, consider them. 

Ciao,

Megan

Top 4 Worst Experiences of My Life: # 4 Caring

This is the first week of my blogging Top 4. I'll be doing this weekly from here on out, where I give a top four Monday through Thursday, and Friday's just kind of a free for all. I decided to start out by giving the top for worst experiences in my life. Some of these will be very personal, please feel free to comment or question.

Many of you have heard how I quit my daycare to care for my mother in law after she was diagnosed with cancer. This was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I sometimes questioned my skills as a daycare provider, as well as a mother, was I really going to be able to help care for my mother in law? Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't alone in this venture, hospice came in and helped, along with my husband Rusty, and his two sisters, but I was the only one not working, so the majority of care fell on me.

I also have to explain something else. On top of the cancer, my mother in law had three strokes. The last one took away the ability to speak, and the ability to eat solid foods. She could only communicate her needs to me through paper and pen. So I had to give her medications, feed her through a stomach tube, make sure she was comfortable, and entertain her.

We ordered cable so she could watch movies. I sang to her, talked to her. She had a lot of visitors too, which helped take some of the burden off of me, which was nice, because most the time I felt like I was flailing.

We thought she would be living with us for six months to a year, but it only ended up being close to three weeks. Of course, her death was the hardest part of the whole experience.

I'm glad we decided to take her in. I would not have wanted to see her die in a nursing home. I think anyone would want to be in a comfortable, familiar place surrounded by family and friends.

Taking my mother-in-law in, caring for her, coming up with ideas to entertain her, and then watching her die was definitely one of the worst, though most rewarding experiences I have ever had. If challenged to do it again, I would do it in a heartbeat.