I'm breaking up with you gluten, it's not me, it's you

My life is in a state of turmoil right now, big time. One of the challenges I've been facing is what I like to call Quasi eye. I may have talked about this here on the blog before. It's been happening for about 6 months now where my eyes get so puffed up I resemble Quasimodo.  It is, in a word, hideous.

It wasn't that bad at first, just a little swollen, I thought perhaps we were just having a dry fall. My eye doctor thought my tear ducts were clogged. He gave me some advice, which I followed and I switched from extended wear contacts to dailies.

None of which helped Quasi eye.

Then a couple months ago I thought, after a night of having maybe a glass too much of wine and waking up with swollen eyes that I was allergic to red wine, but then decided that was silly, as I drink red wine on a semi regular basis and Quasi is pretty erratic and comes and goes when it pleases.

After a 48 hour bout with Quasi eye last week, in which my eyes were swollen halfway shut,  I finally went to my doctor. I though maybe I was gluten or glucose intolerant. I'd never had food allergies, but hey, they can pop up any time during life, and now's a good time as any.

She thinks it's actually airborne allergies, gave me a prescription and told me some other things to do and take, but she did an allergy palette as well, just to see if anything else is out of whack. I already know I have allergies by the way, I'm allergic to everything under the sun. I've never had a problem with hay fever before and my eyes have never been affected, but she, as well as others have told me that sometimes it can do strange things to you one year, then never again.

Anyway, this all brings me back to gluten. Whether or not I'm allergic to wheat or gluten or the Glyphosate-based pesticides our food is soaked in (as a friend told me yesterday), many people have told me that going gluten free has made them feel better and made their allergies better. So I'm trying it.

Sigh.

Which may be difficult because I love me my bread. Nothing else matters. But hey, I can eat things like Garfava, Amaranth, and Job's Tears (really? WTF are those things?)

I will probably be annoying and intolerable for awhile, but at least I still have my staples: popcorn, greek yogurt and red wine.

She's got Quasimodo eyes

I'll start this by stating that I'm running on 5 hours of sleep. I don't know what it is with my body, but when I go to bed at midnight, it always assumes that 5 am is a reasonable hour to wake up.

Yesterday I woke up with my left eye extremely swollen. I looked in the mirror and this is the first thing I thought of...

 

My eye doctor told me once before that it was clogged tear ducts and that I should use hot compresses and rub my bottom lid.  At first I was like, um, yeah, hot compresses? Whose got time for that? But when you look like Quasimodo, you make time. I almost didn't go to work, in fact, a friend told me I should 'call in ugly,' which I thought was brilliant, but I decided to suck it up and go in. When I got there I told everyone not to look at me because I was hideous.

Now, I've had this happen before obvi, but this time was way worse, so I thought, perhaps my eye doctor is a quack and I would really benefit from taking an allergy pill, just for good measure, and if it's not gone by tomorrow (which is today now, mind you) I would make a doctor appointment with my D.O.

I always know where my allergy pills are...except of course at this moment. I tore the house apart looking for them. A drawer even got organized in the ransacking. I know, contradiction, but that's me. I surmise I must have left them at the BF's house (he has dogs, I know, big step for me, but totally worth it). Not even an old bottle or packet of allergy meds lying around. Not even slightly expired ones.

So I've taken more time out of my last two days for hot compresses than I probably have to sleep. And then what happens...

...this morning I wake up to a swollen eye. Not as bad mind you, but still. It's never lasted this long, so I'm calling my doc this morning to see if it's clogged tear ducts as my eye doctor told me...or something more (cue ominous music).

This on top of my turbulent relationship with sleep makes for a grumpy Monday. I did a sleep study over the weekend. I'm really not sure how they can tell anything from those, I mean, how can anyone sleep right with a giant plastic pack strapped to their chest, a clamp on their finger and a tube up their nose. SMH. Anyway, I did it. We'll see if they come up with anything. But while filling out the paperwork there was a section that you had to put a # value on certain answers and it said if your answer go higher than 10 you probably had OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea).

I was reminded of this...

Except this one went to 12.

But I have to wait for the results to get back. If that's the case though, I hope I don't have to wear one of those freaky machine things that make me look like I have an alien clamped to my face...

...and I hope they don't throw more meds at me. I've read up. I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, avoid alcohol (HAHAHAHA), sleep on my side, avoid sleep deprivation ( again, HAHAHAHA), and my allergies may have something to do with it.  But I guess if I have to have an alien clamped to my face, it's better than dying in my sleep.

I had a few other annoyances yesterday, but we'll leave it at that.

How was your Monday?