F³A: Fancy Bred

This is funny, I wrote about the quote, Tell me where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head, way back in 2010. That is from Willy Wonka. Of course, the original quote is Shakespeare, from the Merchant of Venice:

Tell me where is fancy bred,
Or in the heart or in the head?
How begot, how nourished?
Reply, reply.
It is engender’d in the eyes,
With gazing fed; and fancy dies
In the cradle, where it lies.
Let us all ring fancy’s knell;
I’ll begin it – Ding, dong, bell.
Ding, dong, bell

What's funny about it, is that someone recently emailed me, a complete stranger, questioning my thoughts behind the meaning of the quote. It's also funny because just recently this quote has once again become very apropos for me.

I agree with the second half of the poem, that when love is based on the shallowness of physical beauty it dies an early death. It's the original question that still intrigues me.

Tell me where is fancy bred, Or in the heart or in the head?

Earlier in life, I would have argued with anyone who said "the head". I am by nature an emotionally driven person. When I'm passionate about something, I dive right in.

I've learned a lot about fancy in the recent past/present. I learned that it's not always the best option to be led by the heart. Maybe that seems callous, but I think people at my age who are searching for love cannot be driven solely by the beating of their heart and their racing pulse.

People my age have to be rational about love. There are other considerations. We have families, and careers. We have fears about not making the same mistakes we have in the past. We want to find people at our level, intellectually, emotionally, passionately. We have to decide what we will settle on, what we won't put up with, and what we'll fight for.

I've come to believe that you need a balance of heart and head to find a long lasting relationship. The heart is reckless and needs the head to help make good decisions. The head is obstinate, and needs the heart to help it overlook the things that are forgivable and worthy of fighting for.

But one or the other alone, I won't follow. Where the heart goes, the head will be close behind, and hopefully together they'll be able to find something rational and effortless, satisfying and rapturous.

So, the Friday Scribbles:

Random Pandora song of the week: Down in the Valley by The Head & the Heart


Book of the Week: No idea. Between school visits, and revising, and kid stuff and house stuff, I've not read a word. You pick. Tell me what you're reading this week.

Netflix of the Week: Going with The League Season 2. If you play fantasy football, you will love this show. It's partially ad libbed and I think it's hilarious.

Quote of the Week: I think I'll just go with the above.

Enjoy your long weekend. Thank a president.

Tell me where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?

Many of us might know this quote from Willy Wonka (loves me some Willy Wonka) but it originates from Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. It poses a good question. Where is fancy bred? Now, by fancy, Shakespeare means love. So do we love with our emotions, or do we love with our head?

I think it depends on what kind of person you are, do you rationalize yourself into love, or do you throw yourself in?

There are those that think before they leap where love is concerned, weigh the pros and cons, do they have a job, a car , a house? Is there extra baggage involved, an ex, children? And only when they weigh these things out will they open their heart.

I happen to be an emotionally driven person. When I fall, I fall hard, without thinking, without stopping, without blinking, without even breathing. The love comes from your very core, your very soul, and drives you.

In many ways, I think the rationalizing of love may be easier in the long run, especially if the relationship were to end. You could throw all those cons you came up with before and rationalize your way out again.

However, if your feelings are in control, it's difficult. You feel pain, loss, regret, heartbreak, emotional death. I'm not saying those that fall in love using their head don't feel these things, I just don't think it's as intense.

Now, if you read on in The Merchant of Venice, it says that fancy is bred in the eyes, meaning, first we love the beauty before we love the person. I don't necessarily agree.

So where is fancy bred for you?