Reaching goals and moving forward

Me on my 44th birthday

This could encompass many things in my life.

It could encompass reaching my 44th birthday, talking to my counselor, and having her tell me that no, I'm not a complete fuck up and having me leave her office almost believing it. I'm worried and depressed because I'm always tired and I can't get my yard work done or my house cleaned. And I'm lonely.

She reminds me this is because I'm trying to be a good mom. I believe her exact words were Supermom. And I have an awesome job. And I'm publishing my own book. And I'm writing again. And I just got back from an awesome vacation. And I'm going out with my friends and trying to date again but NOT get into a relationship. And I'm going to coach soccer. And I'm kickboxing. And she says, fuck it if you can't clean your house or get your yard work done. Hire someone to do it.

Um, okay. I'll give her that. Whatever.

Reaching goals could also mean I made it to my Indiegogo goal. Yay me!!!! Now I can move forward

Happy Dance

with my Indie publishing process. Where I'm at now: Book is in the hands of editor friend for copy edits and line edits. I will edit when she's done and send to another friend for formatting (god it's good to have friends in this biz). I will start designing and buying swag, bookmarks, buttons, sticks, bracelets. I will buy ISBN numbers. I will research distribution. Those are my next steps for now.

Goal is publication by Junilyish.  I'd say a release party 2nd week July. Book out in time for next school year. I'm excited!!

Getting old(er)

It's my birthday. Where am I in life? In many ways I feel I've accomplished a lot, in many ways I feel I've done nothing.

I have two beautiful daughters. I've had a book published by one of the biggest publishers in the world. I have a great job that utilizes my talents well.  I'm a smart, funny, sexy woman.

On the other hand I'm lonely and can't seem to be without a relationship for too long even though I know I should. I want a second book deal and don't have one so I'm going Indie, which I'm excited about, but also scared to death about. and even though I'm embracing smart, funny and sexy I also feel a bit out of control, chaotic, and crazy.

So there's that. I can't decide whether I have my shit together or whether I'm a mess. Every year for the past few years I would say "this year is going to be epic." I'm not going to say that this year. I don't feel that way this year. I'm not sure what this year is going to bring. It feels a little daunting. I don't know why, it just does.

For right now I'm just going to take it one day at a time though and see what happens. I'm going to try to slow my life down. I'm constantly going and it stresses me out. I'm going to focus on my kids stuff, because they have a lot of stuff, band gigs, soccer, tennis, drivers ed. I'm even going to coach them in soccer this year. I'm going to really try to NOT get in a relationship. I'm going to just date and see where that gets me. I'm going to keep writing. I'm going to get this book out this summer and see what happens. I'm going to concentrate on my health, keep eating right, keep kickboxing, walking outside when the weather gets nicer, try to get up earlier so I can get back to Pilates.

That's what I'm going to do. And I hope those things turn into habits and stick.

Wednesday Wip: Revelation: Book One of the Divinity Chronicles

Here's a bit from the dystopian YA series I'm working on, The Divinity Chronicles. Let me know what you think.

The dirty white bus with the black bold letters that spell out INFIDELS, waits at the curb as it does every week day, to drive us across town to neighborhoods like the ones in which we used to live, to take us to school. You’d think the Deities would practice segregation to keep us away from their children and those of their precious Disciples and Priests, but with us all under the same roof, they think it easier to convert us. Brainwash, more like it. They’ve not had a great success rate yet.

We climb on the bus with all the other children of Infidels and head to W1-6 HS, which stands for the West Zone, Sector 1, Division 6, High School. Mary takes two packs of tin foil out of her messenger bag, more than likely leftovers from the previous night’s dinner. She opens the window as we cross the Incendia Bridge, and tosses the packages over.

 I peer down to watch the scrambling of the Radicals, those who not only oppose the Deities, but insist on continuing to worship their old gods, be them Christian, Hindu, Muslim, whatever. They’ve banded together to stay alive. Committing treason in the eyes of the Deities, if they’re caught it’s punishable by death. As citizens of the new theocracy, or theocrazy as I like to call it, we are bound to report any sighting of Radicals, but we don’t. The idea of being persecuted for believing in something is archaic. I don’t blame them for sticking to their ideologies, I’m sure it offers them some kind of hope for the future.

We pull up to the curb of the school and file out like lemmings to their death, which is what it feels like when you have physical education first period.  If anything should be outlawed, it should be forcing us to do jumping jacks and climb ropes at seven o’clock in the morning.

Inspired by Reading

I finally started reading Veronica Roth's, Divergent. I've been wanting to read it for a really long time, but I've been reading friends books, and writing, and you know, there's that thing called life, but on vacation, I finally had some time to actually sit down and relax.

So far, I love it. I'm a big fan of dystopian stuff anyway, so it's a no brainer for me really as a best seller. But the other thing about it is it's made me excited to work on my own dystopian books. I have one adult I started ages ago and one trilogy I'm writing based on the first novels I ever wrote. Last night I got up to 5k on the first book of the trilogy.

I love how reading inspires and I realize how much I miss it when I haven't done it in awhile.I miss the escape, and let me tell you, if anyone needs to escape from life it's me.

Are there any books that have inspired your writing? Tell me.

Monkey Madness Monday: I'm back! and other crap

Okay, after some advisement, I'm back at blogger. We'll see if the spammers stay away.

I just got back from vacation, and on the way home I finished my revisions of Dissected. Yay me!

Now I send it to an editor for copy edits and other ideas.

Next step, fixing those mistakes and moving to formatting. I think this book is still on track to come out in early summer.

Also, my Indiegogo campaign is still running. There are 15 days left and my goal is another $170. If you'd like to contribute and help me get this book on the shelf asap, you can follow the widget to the right. If you donate, you get perks, such as a signed book and swag. Or you can follow the link if you just want to see what the book is about, watch the trailer, or see where the money is going.


I've not pushed the campaign too hard, but now that it's coming to a close and I'm very close to my goal, I may become annoying (as if I wasn't in other ways already).

Happy Monday all. Good to be back at blogger.