Friday, February 12, 2010

F³A: Mini Rants


For those of you who just started following, F³A is the Friday Free for All. Though this week has pretty much been a total free for all.

Now on with the ranting. Irritations, annoyances, and things people do to drive me insane.

I have come to the realization that my children are allergic to the dishwasher. I'm not sure what would happen if they were to actually touch it, maybe a breakout of hives the size of golf balls, or perhaps spontaneous combustion, but I'm sure it's bad, why else would they get as close as to put their dishes on the counter directly above it, but not open then door and place them inside. Perhaps there is a pill or ointment for that.

I'm a good mom. I let my kids have sleepovers. How do I get repayed? With attitude, back talk, and general grouchiness. Um, exactly why do I do this?

If I were to leave all the socks lying around the house that everyone takes off but does not put in the laundry room, I would have wall to wall socks. It would be much cheaper than buying carpeting.

Why is there always the one friend in the group that no one likes? Why are they there? Does anyone actually know where they come from?

I don't own pets. I'm allergic to pretty much every animal under the sun. So why do you think I want your dog in my house, running around, getting its hair all over my floor and furniture?

No I will not drive you to school because your hair is perfect. We live three blocks from school and I'm not even dressed. >:(

Um, just because I don't work outside the home does not mean I have all the time in the world to do things for you. I have a house to clean. I'm writing one book, querying another, and revising yet another. I'm blogging, I'm reading and doing book reviews. I'm grocery shopping. I'm exercising, and tending to my hygiene. And when I'm done with all my stuff for the day, I have approximately -5 hours to do your stuff. Get it?

Do not ask if your friend can come over in front of her. That is an automatic no. I've told you this a million times yet you keep doing it and then I'm the bad mom that never lets your friends come over.

I'm tired of taking out the garbage. I thought that's the ONE job that husbands are supposed to do.

Stop posting crap to my Facebook profile. I don't want to be hit with a pillow, I don't want your blingee postcard, I don't care if you said I'm hot or not. You muck up my page which mostly I use for my blogs and my writing.

Stop asking me to remember things for you. I barely remember my name most days.

No I didn't hear the car making that ticking noise. How can I tell you how long it's been going on if I didn't hear it? I do not pay attention to tiny noises, I'm not a mechanic, they all just sound like car noises to me. Plus, they are hard to hear when I'm blasting Nirvana or Green Day or Fall Out Boy anyway.

I think that's enough ranting for the day.

Movie of the Week: Couples Retreat (laughed my ass off)

Song of the Week: Mountain Man by the Crash Kings

Book of the Week: Dare to Be a Great Writer by Leonard Bishop

Quote of the Week: "Sometimes, I get so consumed by depression that it is hard to believe that the whole world doesn't stop and suffer with me." ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

6 comments:

  1. Oh, was this LOL funny, Megan! Especially the perfect hair part. Gawd, MOM!! Do you KNOW how long it took me to get like this??? And it's going to RAIN tonight...my hair knows it is...

    Sorry, started to channel my inner teenager. My kids are still little (6, 4 next month). I don't know how I will deal with--that.

    I know what you mean about hitting a wall with all you do and expecting a little something something in return. I basically think we can't have high enough expectations for our kids. Boy, are they hard to enforce sometimes--

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  2. Oh yeah. They didn't have school today though, so I made them work while I sat here and wrote. It was a good payoff. Of course I won't get work like this out of them again probably until Spring Break. >:(

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  3. Why is there always the one friend in the group that no one likes? Why are they there? Does anyone actually know where they come from?

    Least Common Denominator. When that person leaves the group, someone else has to become the least liked member. Therefore, keep the pain in the ass you have... you know... or eventually... Uh... Hmmm

    Does everyone here already hate me, or what? :-)

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  4. HA!!! So true. I don't ever want to get demoted to the most annoying person in the group. *grumble* I guess that person gets to stay.

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  5. So are you saying the car is making a pinging noise?

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  6. No. I have no idea. It's make car noises.

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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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