Those who give you strength

I have been tested much in the last three years, but I think none as much as I have in the last three weeks. I cannot give you all the details of my struggles, as some are very personal and some involve people I love very much. But today's blog isn't really about that it's about those not directly involved in those struggles. It's about the people in life that give you strength.

It's so important to have people in your life to lift you up when you're feeling low, to pick you up when you've fallen, to keep you going when you think you can take no more.  I'm very lucky to have people like that in my life.

Anyway, I just want to dedicate today's blog to those people and thank them, and hope that I too am that person to them.

You know who you are.

 

Here are the Friday Scribbles for your entertainment...

Pandora queue: Landon Pigg, Falling in Love in the Coffee Shop. LOVE

Book of the Week: Allegient by Veronica Roth. I like it, not as well as the first two, but still...it's getting better.

Netflix of the Week: I started watching Sons of Anarchy again. For some reason I stopped right before the first season ended. I just lost interest. When I say right before, I mean at the very last episode. When I started again, I didn't know why. Pretty good.

Quote of the Week: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Monkey Madness Monday: Being Thankful

There is so much to be Thankful for in life.  I mean, even when things seems bad, there is always someone worse of then you.  Be thankful for what you have instead of what you want.

I know, sometimes it's hard, even I am guilty of stressing on the little things (thank you anxiety disorder).  But here are the things I will try and focus on my family.  Are they perfect? God no, but whose is?  I love them with all their quirks and faults and I know they love me despite these things as well.

I'm thankful for my friends.  Even if I don't see them as often as I like, I know their always there for me.

I'm thankful for my health.  Am I a bit out of shape? Sure.  Am I a little crazy? Yes.  But I'm living and breathing and that in itself is a gift.

I'm thankful for my girls.  Do they drive me nuts? Yes.  They're teenagers after all, but I would rather deal with the eye rolls, and the attitude, and the messiness than not having them around.  They are my sun, my light.

Think about the things you're thankful for this week, not just the big things, but the little ones too.   I'm thankful for fresh flowers, and the scent of basil, and Oil of Olay, and coffee.

We have it good.  We really do.  Even when it's bad, it's still good in some ways.

What are you thankful for?

Monkey Madness Monday

I love this monkey.  He appears to be forlorn about something.

So, it's Monday.  The weekend was half crazy, half quietly productive. If you subscribe to my youtube channel, you probably know part of the craziness that was my Friday night.  If not, you can watch it here.

Two soccer games, two wins.  Lots of fun. A friend came over Saturday night.  I was exhausted and a little tipsy and fell asleep on her (not literally on her, but you know what I mean).  She still loves me though.

And I caught up with blog posts (almost) and work for the Class of 2k12.  I have a few more things to do to get ready for my book release.

I can't believe it's getting so close.  I don't think I'll ever feel ready.

Oh, yeah, and there's that pesky work in progress to revise.  I'd like to have it done by November 1st, but I'm not sure that's realistic.

Don't forget, it's Teen Read Week.  Get your teens to their local library and have them pick out something to read for fun!!!

Monday Morning Blahg: 42

I am now the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. You know what that means, right?  You know Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? :)

It means today is my birthday and I am 42.  And it honestly doesn't bother me at all to be another year older. (no really, stop laughing)  Birthdays have never bothered me.  Well, I did flip out after number 40, but I've heard most people do.  You did, right?

It really doesn't bother me because for the last six months I thought I was going to be 43 this year.  So in a way, I've gained a year.

This last year has been full of big changes for me.  In March I finally found an agent to rep my work after looking for about three years.

In April I went to Disneyland and on that vacation found out that Houghton Mifflin Harcourt wanted to publish my novel.

I joined a great group of debut writers called the Class of 2k11. And though I'm now part of the Class of 2k12, I'm still a 2k11er in my heart.

I got to attend the book releases of two wonderful writers, Holly Cupala, and Carole Estby Dagg.

 I've met some really fabulous people this year, both virtually and tangibly. 

I started a new life, new house, new car, new job.

It's been a big year.  And the next, I keep saying, will be EPIC.  I want to thank everyone who has touched my life and supported me this last year, in either little or big ways.  Every little bit counts. 

Thank you friends.

~Best

Megan

Thought Provoking Thursday: Living in Shadows

I know you've all HAD to feel that way at one time or another.  That you're living in someone else's shadow?  I think as a writer, a sibling, and friend, a co worker, whatever our circles and relationships, we can't help these feelings sometimes.  We feel unworthy or inferior to those around us.

Point?  I guess I've been feeling a little like this.  And it's not fun.  Luckily, I have people around me that remind me that I've got some good stuff going on.  That we can't live under the shadow of someone else because their paths, though they may be similar, are unique.

And then of course there's Walt Whitman.  His quote, "Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you," really struck a chord with me yesterday.  And it's true.  I think I may be a natural pessimist.  I need to look toward the sun more often.  After all, I am solar powered.

Sorry, just some random musings from my warped mind. :)

A couple more things.  Mrs. Andersen at the Y.A. Love book blog featured for her Book Trailer Thursday, the trailer I made for Carole Estby Dagg's novel, The Year We Were Famous.

Also, I want to wish good luck to all those entered in ABNA.  Just remember, if you don't make it past this phase, it's not over.  Here is a list to prove it.  It's all the novels that have been entered in ABNA that have been or are going to published since.  It grows all the time.  So don't lose faith.

And never walk in someone else's shadow.  Cast your own. :)


~Megan

Giving Thanks

Since it's Turkey Day Eve, I thought I would share with you the things I have been thankful for this last year.  These are in no particular order, so don't judge me if I put gummy worms at number one, and my kids at number 534.

I'm thankful for support systems.  I have needed many this year whether for my writing or just life in general.  This support system includes family and friends alike.  It would take too long to list every single one of them, but there are a few names I'd like to mention.  My parents, always there for me no matter what.  Rusty, even at my craziest, always there to catch me when I fall.  My kids, which I normally call Thing One and Thing Two, but will use their names, Mary and Rachel, without them I'm sure I would be lost.  My siblings, they have my back.  Jay, Angela, and Heidi.  Who've helped me out with some stuff.  We'll leave it at that.

As far as the writing goes, I have numerous people to be thankful for, starting with my agent, who sold my book in two weeks, and my editor, who is absolutely wonderful, but there are three people who have been there since my very first writing contest, Gae, Jeff, and Tracy.  Probably wouldn't have been able to do this writing gig without you.

...and speaking of writing, I'm thankful for having joined the Class of 2k11.  They have been an awesome support through this crazy writing gig as well, and it's nice to know that we all have each other to commiserate and celebrate with.  Also all the people who've read my writing and given feedback.  You rock.

Okay, enough of that.  I'm thankful for a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table.  Times are still tough for many, think about donating some time, food, or clothing to your local shelter.

I'm thankful for soccer and NFL football.  Two of my favorite things to watch this time of year.

And here are just some random bits:

Sorry I can't resist this.  It's my favorite.

Gummy candies

Harry Potter

ABNA

The sun

The Internet

MBC

Facebook

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Dexter

Weeds

Netflix

The Pacific Northwest

107.7 The End

103.7 The Mountain

Pandora

Playlist.com

iTunes

I think I'll stop there.  I'm sorry if I've left anyone off, the people behind me are really too numerous to name.  But you know who you are, and just realize, I'm thankful for you too.

So, what are you thankful for this holiday season?

Fragile

I'm feeling de ja vu as I'm pretty sure I've written about life's fragile moments pretty recently.

I have a friend going through a rough time (no doctor, I'm really talking about a friend, I'm not referring to myself). Just another reminder how short life can be and how we should make the best of every single minute we have of it.

Here are a few simple things to make life a little easier.

Spend time with people that make you happy.

Listen to your kids laugh, cheers me up every time.

Take time for yourself, even if it's only a few minutes.

Don't waste time on things that make you crazy.

Simplify and try to stay organized.

Enjoy the scenery.  

These seems like simple instructions to follow, don't they?  The fact of the matter is, they're not.  So many of us speed through life, doing things for everyone but ourselves, missing our kids childhood, making ourselves crazy over clutter and "things".

Slow down.  

 

In the words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

Just something to think about.

Ciao,

Megan

Road Trip

I've talked about friendships quite a bit on my blog here. I think it's because friendships are strange to me. I do not like people as a general rule :), but I do have friendships and they're important to me for a variety reasons. You have your different circle of friendships. Mine can pretty much be divided in two: high school friends and writing friends. When I talk about my high school friends it not only means those I went to high school with, but those I met during high school through work, friends whatever.

And you do different thing with those different friends. There are those you go to coffee or lunch with. Those you go out to drinks with. Those you invite to dinner. Those you watch sports with. You keep the talk light with some, you go deeper with those you trust with your secrets.

And it's actually the same with my writing friends. I have those I talk to just about every day, those I'm in a writing group with. There are those who you trust to read your work, and those whose work you will read.

And of course you have those friends you know you'll occasionally butt heads with. Those you will never fight with. Those who make you happy, those who make you crazy. Those who will be honest with you no matter how much it might hurt.

The dynamics are complex.

So anyway, I went on a road trip this last weekend with my best friends from high school. Excluding an occasional dinner, I really haven't spent any major (or minor) time with these ladies since about 1989. And this is what is so great about friendships like these, it was like no time had passed between us at all. Not an awkward moment lingered. We chatted, laughed, as if we hung out all the time. And I loved it. And although these two women and I have gone down three very different paths, I still love them and always will.

Sometimes you can go back. :)

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose." ~ Tennessee Williams

41

That's me. Yesterday. Well, and everyday for the rest of the year. With every birthday I try to make a plan of attack for the coming year. Things I want to work on, make better, that kind of thing.

One of the most important things for me are making and keeping connections. It's hard. Facebook is so cool, because they're all right there at your fingertips. But I have a lot of facebook friends, and it's difficult to keep up with them all.

On a daily basis, I'll connect with the most active ones, and mostly they are the ones I've met through the ABNA contest.

Just lately though, I've started to check all my friend groups on a daily basis and try to leave comments. To connect. Juts to show them that I'm thinking about them. This includes, family, friends, and other writers.

Another thing I'm trying to do is visit all the blogs I'm following whenever they post something new. I want the writer to know I'm reading them and I'm interested in what they're saying.

But I not only want to stay connected to these established relationships, but also forge new ones. I love meeting other writers, readers, people with like interests. I love that I have Facebook friends from India, and Iraq, and Holland, and Italy. I know I say I'm not much of a people person, but online friendships are different. You don't see all the things that might annoy you in person, quirks, traits, religious or political differences, the things that might cause you to NOT be friends in the tangible world. It makes them easy to maintain.

So, at 41 one of my goals is to keep my connections as tight as I can and to make new ones.

You'll hear about some of my other goals throughout the week.

Thanks for reading.

Kisses

:*

Megan

F³A: Fallible Me

In light of certain recent events in my life, I've been forced to take a step back and look at myself long and hard. You know what I've found? I'm not perfect. I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but apparently my ying traits also have a yang, balancing me on a tight rope between good and evil.

I'm a nice person for the most part. Unless of course you piss me off, and if you do, I will probably just try and avoid you and not talk to you, but if it comes down to it, we will have words.

I will invite you to my parties. And they're fun. And you will enjoy yourself.
Will I come to yours? Maybe not, but don't judge me for it. I try not to plan anything too far in advance. As I never know how I'm going to feel on any given day. My mental health makes me very tired, and makes me anti-social at times, especially if I have to go alone. Know that I love you though.

Am I a reliable friend? Yes. I will be there for you when you call on me,in most cases. The only times I remember turning people down is when I'm at my lowest.
Am I unreliable? Yes. I will not offer unless asked. You see, life for the most part is chaos. Between writing, revising, querying, submitting, reading, reviewing, basketball, soccer, cleaning, shopping, cooking, homework, etc, etc, I actually don't have a lot of time on my hands.

Am I giving? Yes. I give sometimes until it hurts. I give things I don't even have.
Do I take? Apparently so. Apparently I've taken to where I've hurt others. Not purposely, I'd never do that, but still, it's been done.

Am I selfless? I've had my moments, that's all I'll say about that.
Am I selfish? Yes. I have been. I think sometimes we get so caught up with ourselves and what we're doing we put blinders on and forget to see and react to the things happening around us.

I'm forgiving. No matter what you do, as long as it does not harm someone I love, and then it's on a situational basis, I will forgive. And I hope it turn, I am worth forgiving.

I can't really describe what kind of person I am. I'm emotionally drive and full of angst. This much I know. Other than that, I'm a walking contradiction. I'm sweet and bitchy, flirty and demure, shy and outgoing, strong and weak, narcissistic and modest.

Sometimes I'm a good friend and sometimes I'm a bad friend. I will say that my moments of badness are never intentional, and for the most part, I don't even realize what I've done until it's too late. That's just me. I'm flawed. I'm fallible. I'm human.

ABNA part 4: Friendship

This was the most important aspect of the contest for me. It was better than making the cut, better than the reviews, better than making the semi-finals.

I made some really great friends. Friends I consider lifelong. Some are local and I talk to them every once in awhile and we try to get together about once or twice a year. Others live all over the globe and I talk to them on facebook mostly. There are a handful that I became really close to. We talk by email nearly every day and I've even met a couple of them in person.

These friendships mean everything to me. I've never known any other writers, and it's nice to have someone to share your writing with, people you trust to critique your work. People to laugh with, commiserate with, to celebrate our successes and cry over our disappointments.

Of course, like with any friendship, we have our share of debates, fights, and drama, but I hope that these friendship can endure these tiny speed bumps, because like I said, they mean a lot and I would be lost without them.

(New York photos courtesy of Rick Kopstein)
Kisses

:*

Megan

F³A: Mini Rants

For those of you who just started following, F³A is the Friday Free for All. Though this week has pretty much been a total free for all.

Now on with the ranting. Irritations, annoyances, and things people do to drive me insane.

I have come to the realization that my children are allergic to the dishwasher. I'm not sure what would happen if they were to actually touch it, maybe a breakout of hives the size of golf balls, or perhaps spontaneous combustion, but I'm sure it's bad, why else would they get as close as to put their dishes on the counter directly above it, but not open then door and place them inside. Perhaps there is a pill or ointment for that.

I'm a good mom. I let my kids have sleepovers. How do I get repayed? With attitude, back talk, and general grouchiness. Um, exactly why do I do this?

If I were to leave all the socks lying around the house that everyone takes off but does not put in the laundry room, I would have wall to wall socks. It would be much cheaper than buying carpeting.

Why is there always the one friend in the group that no one likes? Why are they there? Does anyone actually know where they come from?

I don't own pets. I'm allergic to pretty much every animal under the sun. So why do you think I want your dog in my house, running around, getting its hair all over my floor and furniture?

No I will not drive you to school because your hair is perfect. We live three blocks from school and I'm not even dressed. >:(

Um, just because I don't work outside the home does not mean I have all the time in the world to do things for you. I have a house to clean. I'm writing one book, querying another, and revising yet another. I'm blogging, I'm reading and doing book reviews. I'm grocery shopping. I'm exercising, and tending to my hygiene. And when I'm done with all my stuff for the day, I have approximately -5 hours to do your stuff. Get it?

Do not ask if your friend can come over in front of her. That is an automatic no. I've told you this a million times yet you keep doing it and then I'm the bad mom that never lets your friends come over.

I'm tired of taking out the garbage. I thought that's the ONE job that husbands are supposed to do.

Stop posting crap to my Facebook profile. I don't want to be hit with a pillow, I don't want your blingee postcard, I don't care if you said I'm hot or not. You muck up my page which mostly I use for my blogs and my writing.

Stop asking me to remember things for you. I barely remember my name most days.

No I didn't hear the car making that ticking noise. How can I tell you how long it's been going on if I didn't hear it? I do not pay attention to tiny noises, I'm not a mechanic, they all just sound like car noises to me. Plus, they are hard to hear when I'm blasting Nirvana or Green Day or Fall Out Boy anyway.

I think that's enough ranting for the day.

Movie of the Week: Couples Retreat (laughed my ass off)

Song of the Week: Mountain Man by the Crash Kings

Book of the Week: Dare to Be a Great Writer by Leonard Bishop

Quote of the Week: "Sometimes, I get so consumed by depression that it is hard to believe that the whole world doesn't stop and suffer with me." ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

Four Things to Be Thankful For: Friends

All kinds of friends. There are those you know you can always count on. The ones that will take care of your kids, shop for you when you're sick, and drive you to the airport.

There are the ones you meet for coffee every so often and talk about old times, your kids, and future plans.

There are those that make you laugh.

Those that will listen.

Last night I met up with a group of girlfriends. We all went to high school together. Most of them I've seen about two or three times in the last twenty years. It was like we'd never missed a beat. So there's those friends you can see just every so often, and you'll know it will always be like old times.

Friends are a gift. No matter what kind of friend they are to you. Treasure them always.

Friday Free For All: How much is friendship worth?

Friendships are funny things. They invigorate, elate at times, but they can also be difficult and high maintenance.

So my question is, what lengths would you go to to hold onto a friendship?

What if you were always the one making plans, making the moves to maintain it? Would it get tiring? Would you eventually give up?

What if they constantly broke off plans? Or waited until the last minute to see if something better came up?

What about mood swings? Sometimes they treat you great, other times, like crap. Almost as if they had a split personality.

How much would you take?

And if the friendship dissolved for some reason, would you always be there for them if they came back? To what extent?

I personally believe I am a good friend. Yes, I've admitted I'm not really a people person, no I don't like to talk on the phone, I may not come to all your parties, but I love you. I would do anything for you, bring you chicken soup when you're sick, babysit your kids in a pinch, take you to get your car fixed, give you a shoulder to cry on. I've had friendships come and go, and it amazes me how easy it is for people to walk away, whether you've known each other for a few months, or fifteen years.

So tell me, how much would you take, and at what point do you give up?

My Bucket List

Yes, it's cliche by now, but those living social things on Facebook made me think about things I want to do/accomplish in my lifetime.



Number one is, of course, to get published. I think my current book, Mending Fences, has a shot. However, it needs a rewrite, which I will probably start on soon. sigh.



Number two, I have always wanted to dye my hair black, and think I will after next pay day. Trying to convince my husband it's just for fun and not to hide the gray has been a difficult task, but seriously, it's true. I've been wanting to do this since my late teens. I'm going to do it.



I would love to go back to Rome. I love Rome, everything about it. The history, the people, the food. I love that I can go to Rome and eat anything I want and not gain any weight because I walk everywhere. I love the fact that there is still a cheese shop that is seperate from the produce shop, seperate from the butcher.



I've always wanted to see Australia.



Meeting the friends I've made in ABNA. I mean for realsies, in the flesh. It's so hard to have these friends, some of the best friends I've ever had, and not be able to have coffee or lunch with them.

To excercise daily and get into the best shape of my life.

Most importantly, to leave my mark, be it as a writer, mother, friend. I want to be remembered, at least for awhile, as someone who made a difference, no matter how small that difference may be.