Middle school boys and the girls that love them.Ugh. Thing One who is now in 8th grade, has not had a boyfriend up until now. She was never interested. She was into soccer and her grades. Yeah, um, not so much any more. Well, let me clarify, she still loves soccer, and is very good at it, the grades, we're going to have to work on that. While she excels in class and with her homework, she has not tested well, which brings her grade point average down. I believe this is due to her more active social life.
The cool thing now is to go to Wheels, the local skating rink. Is there any actual skating done? I know Thing Two skates, Thing One, no. She hangs out, and giggles, and gossips, and I've come to find out, her boyfriend can be found there on any given Friday night. A boyfriend I've never met. A boyfriend my husband has already dug a hole for in the garden. He's a 6th grader, but according to Thing Two, he's hot.
Thing Two is a different story all together. She's obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend. She's desperate for one. She's even asked boys out, which in 6th grade I have no idea what this means. Mom how do I look? Mom am I pretty? Mom why don't I have a boyfriend? I say all the things a mom should say (and it's not a lie, she's adorable, but men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses). I try to tell her to focus on soccer, and basketball, and school (and she should because getting good grades does not come easy for her). But all her friends have boyfriends. sigh.
It is so hard to teach a girl that having a boyfriend doesn't define who they are. But, I was there once. I was boy crazy, but these days, it scares me. The kids these days are way more advanced then I was when I was their age. And the technology age doesn't help matters with sexting and the like. ugh.
What do you do? You support them, talk to them honestly, which usually scares the hell out of them, you own all their passwords to all their accounts, email, facebook, hi5, etc, and you do random checks on their text messages. It's all we can do aside from lock them in a tower until their 30 (which my husband would do in a heartbeat).
That's all until tomorrow, when I talk about ATTITUDE.
Kisses
:*
Megan
I was that girl... craving the boyfriend when all my friends had them (for me it was because I was super tall). I've got a daughter (14)and a son (11). Recently my daughter got mad. It went like this: 'Grace says Julia says Sam has a girlfriend' (Grace is HER friend, and Julia is Grace's little sister who goes to school with my son) Lesson: set up strong spy routes.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is my flighty, grades are rough one (though quite an athlete) but oddly she has FABULOUS social instinct, lots of friends, and has been very level headed about boys--she's had boyfriends and heartbreaks, but none hugely serious, and she breaks up for things like 'it was ruining our friendship'. And she TALKS to me (thankfully). THAT I think has come from unflinching honesty on my part (the good and the bad), and not judging what she tells me.
I'm very honest with my kids too, and they talk to me. And I want to keep it that way. I think when you try to hide things and skirt around the truth, your kids will end up doing the same thing. I've had to explain to my kids some things that would make other parents blush, but I'm not going to lie when asked a straight out question.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Hart. you and I are a lot alike. :)
Yep, nothing substitutes for honesty and talking--a lot of talking! My boys are 17 and 19 now, and the younger one has never had a "girlfriend" (although he has lots of friends who are girls, and he "hangs" with them in groups, texts them, etc).
ReplyDeleteYep, I'd swear by it. I think my girls would tell me anything.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with this current parenting adventure. Thanks for being so open about your experiences; if nothing else, they're a great read. :)
ReplyDeleteOh girly..I'm right there with you. I have a 13 yr old girl and omg the drama! *sigh* we were NEVER like that! lol
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you
Thanks so much for your comments. Nothing's more funny than the truth some times.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for reading. :)
Reading this is like looking into a crystal ball of the coming years. My six year old is the most innocent thing--her friends play going on date games and she's all, What's a date? And my four-next-week year old wants to marry his sister (or me [some days it's his uncle]). I was incredibly backwards, too as an adolescent--wanted boyfriends, sure, but never actually able to get one or know what to do with one when I did. But it's true: kids know more these days. And I hope I know what to do about it the way it sounds like you do.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenny. I think honesty is the best policy. :)
ReplyDelete