The Caitlyn Controversy

I was completely going to avoid this subject as it's so played out, but the stupid people are hurting my brain. Let me first say, if you don't think it's okay to go transgender, but you're considerate with your comments, I respect your opinion. I don't agree with it, but I respect that it's how you feel and you have a right to that. However, if you're against being transgender and act like an asshat about it, I think you're an idiot.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll give you my take. I cannot possibly begin to understand how it feels to be physically one sex, yet inside feel like the other. I can't only imagine how heartbreaking and emotionally painful it must be. I would never judge someone who goes through a change to become the person they truly believe they are. I think what Caitlyn did is brave. Someone on my Facebook commented that when we call people like her "brave" we're forgetting the real heroes that fight for our country. This makes no sense to me. I never called Caitlyn a hero, though I think she makes a good spokesperson for the LGBT community. But I don't forget or discredit what others have sacrificed in the name of freedom. What they do actually helps people like Caitlyn become who they are.  To be free of the mask she wore for decades. They fight for all the freedoms we're allowed these days and that is one thing great about our country.

I've also heard the argument that we're supposed to be the person that God made us. That only He or She can change us. I don't believe in isms. I don't believe in religion because  man made it. I don't believe that a book written eons ago and translated millions of times is supposed to be taken literally. I'm not sure if there is a giant invisible man in the sky watching down on us and waiting to judge us upon our death. There are two things I do know however. 1) I'm pretty sure if I live my life in a way that doesn't hurt anyone and if I treat people with respect, that what awaits my soul when my body is six feet under will be fine. 2) If your God didn't want people to become transgender, why did he allow us to gain the knowledge in order to create the technology that makes this possible?

I understand transgenderism. I do not understand intolerance. Why do you care? Is it affecting you and your rights? Truly, it's not your business what someone does with their body. Sound like a familiar argument?

And the religious right continues to defend their child molester to the ends of the earth, yet condemns Caitlyn for simply being who she is. If instead of Josh Duggar it was a black person, or gay person, or Muslim, or anyone that didn't fit into that perfect mold of all that is righteous and pure, you'd be wanting their head on a platter. Not only did he molest his own sisters, but then his family hid their ugly truth for their own benefit, not caring how all of this affected their daughters or their religious community. It's all for the good of television. The show must go on!!!

I've had people complain to me that I keep mentioning that Duggar is Christian, when molestation, by a Christan or not is reprehensible. Of course it is. I only mention this because of what I stated before about how those defending him would feel if it were someone else in his shoes, and because of who he is. He stood before you on television spewing vitriol against the LGBT community and marriage equality. He preached about family values yet inappropriately touched his own sisters and helped hide the truth. He should have been put in juvee, received counseling and been registered as a sex offender.  But no, he was sent to a Christian reform program, received no counseling, then went to work for a family friend. This is not justice This is not okay,

I'm tired of right wing Christians taking bible verses out of context when it fits their agenda and hiding behind their religion when they spout and breed intolerance. How come they never use these verses?:

Matthew 7:1 "Judge not lest ye be judged."
John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;"
1 Corinthian 4:5  Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God"
Proverbs 21: 2 "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."
James 4:12 " There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"

I could go on and on.

Then you have Mike Huckabee sticking his foot in his mouth again by telling stupid transgender jokes. You have change.org trying to strip her of her gold medals

Why do I think Caitlyln Jenner is brave? Because it takes a lot to stand up and tell people who you really are when you know you will be faced with criticism and judgment.  Also, I think John Stewart also made a good point:

 "It's really heartening to see that everyone is willing to not only accept Caitlyn Jenner as a woman,
but to waste no time in treating her like a woman. You see, Caitlyn, when you were a man, we could talk about your athleticism, your business acumen, but now you’re a woman, and your looks are really the only thing we care about. Which brings us to phase two of your transition: 'comparative fuckability.'"

"As a woman, Jenner can now look forward to her physical appearance, not her talents or mind, being the object of daily scrutiny. Should she ever need to work, she can look forward to earning roughly 77% of what a man makes. Should she ever face physical or sexual violence, she, not her attacker, will be treated with suspicion. As a woman, Jenner will also have to get used to hearing not just new pronouns but other fun words like "shrill," "nagging," "bossy" and "emotional." And then, of course, there's the catcalling, which a "beautiful" woman like Jenner can now expect daily."

The struggle is real. Women in America are still fighting for their own rights, for equal rights. Caitlyn just joined that fight.

Reserving judgment

I'm truly getting sick of people and their judgmental attitudes. It's one thing to give someone a little hell for some bad behavior. But then there's this guy. Go ahead, go look. I'll wait here.

Yeah, that guy. The guy hanging out with his kids. He's playing video games. One daughter is painting his toe nails, the other daughter seems completely fascinated with what he's doing.

But for some people it's not enough that this dad is hanging out with his girls, chillin'.  No. He should be engaging. He should be paying them attention. He's ignoring them?!?

I'm sorry, how the fuck do you know what goes on in their home by one picture? And from where I'm sitting, it looks like everyone is having a damn good time. He's cuddled up next to one child, he's got a fun girlcentric coffee table that those daughter's (and maybe with his help) obviously decorated, the house is decorated for Christmas. Who the hell are you to judge? He's a guy spending time with his kids. He didn't tell them to leave him alone. He's not out with the guys at the bar.

I never played with my kids. Playing wasn't my thing. I read to them, colored with them, watched movies with them, talked to them. I stayed in the room and watched them play and engaged with them. Does that make me a horrible mom? I never joined the PTA.  Am I bad now? My girls and I are tight. They have always been well behaved. Never through tantrums in public. But no, I didn't play "with" them. That doesn't mean there wasn't some kind of bonding happening or involvement taking place.

Get off your high horse and get over yourself.

And truly, just stop being so judgmental period. That article, that dad, and my own situations remind me that it's easy to judge and pontificate, it's more difficult to try to open your mind and heart.

I need to stop and think before I so quickly jump onto a soapbox. There are people out there fighting battles we know nothing about, going through torments we don't understand, or reeling from with something they find hard to express or explain. I, we, the human race, especially this time of year need to find it in us to feel compassion, realize tolerance, and find forgiveness.

Response to: FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

I know, there have been a million responses already, and I'm about a day behind, but as the mother of two teenage girls, I felt I had to respond.

I understand some of what Mrs. Hall is saying. I do. I just don't agree with it.

I think it's fine that the Hall parents monitor what their children do online. It's very smart. However, where is the trust in the parent/child relationship? At what point do you let your children use their best judgment as to who they can and cannot be Facebook friends with? When do you stop censoring every little thing they do?

If she's taught her boys to respect females, she shouldn't have to worry, right? Okay, no. Why? Because no matter how much they respect them, they will still look at them at a sexual way if they are a red-blooded, heterosexual teenage boy. 

Scantily clothed. Fully clothed. Nude. It doesn't matter. That's how it works.

Even the Biebs does it.

Boys do the same thing BTW. Have you seen all the bathroom, shirtless pics they post? Are you going to write this same letter to those boys when your daughter is a teenager?

Look, my daughter and her friends are barely dressed in this pic below. You could even say that the one on the right is posing suggestively.

Would the Hall boys be able to be friends with these girls? Or would they be blocked by their parents? I mean, the Hall boys may look at them in a sexual way, right?

And then of course we have the double standard of her own boys in bathing suits flexing their muscles on the beach in the pictures she chose to post on that particular blog. 

Pictures she has since changed. 

Does she not think that a teenage girl would look at that and drool a little? After all, her boys are handsome, shirtless, and flexing.

Okay, admittedly, I really don't appreciate boys/men with their shirts off in front of the mirror, and don't think young girls should be seductively half naked in their Facebook pics. I think parents should teach their children what is and what is not acceptable. 

Kim K.

Does Mrs. Hall let her boys watch TV? Movies? Listen to music? Play video games? Read magazines? Media has been teaching children for decades how they should look and behave. This is learned behavior from sources beyond our control. Even if you temper media at home, you'll never be able to keep your children from it completely, especially in these days where Google is a god.


When my girls first got their Facebook pages I told them not to friend anyone they don't know and that I would not censor them unless I felt what they posted was way out of control. I did tell them that they need to think about what they post, who will see it, what it might affect, and then to use their best judgment.

And I would never block someone from their Facebook. I can imply and suggest, but they can decide who needs to be blocked. I trust their judgment because I've taught them well.

And in this day and age of self esteem problems, obesity, self harm and eating disorders, is it so wrong for a teenage girl to be confident in her looks and her body.  To feel pretty. I think it's empowering, as long as she respects herself, and that is something they need to learn from their parents.

 Teenagers have bigger problems these days. Bullying, violence, alcohol, drugs, grades...

...scantily clad co-eds isn't one.

Just my two cents on this Friday.