Modern feminism and the anti-feminist movement

There is so much hub bub about feminism and anti-feminism and Women Against Feminism I figured I'd better address it because, well, I'm a woman, and I consider myself a feminist.

Why do I consider myself a feminist? Because women
should be given the same consideration as men in all aspects of life. Because I believe a woman should not be told what she can do with her body by the government or religion or anyone else. Because women all over the world should be able to go to school or not cover her face or do whatever she wants to do without horrible consequences. Because we are amazing, beautiful, brilliant, and talented, and we should know it and not let ANYONE make us feel less.



Here's what I don't believe:

This is What Feminism Looks Like

• Feminism is not a movement that wants women to be superior to men. We just want to be equal. For example, many women still don't make the same money as their male counterparts for doing the same job.
• Feminism does not equate to misandry. I LOVE men. I could not live without men. Sure, there are probably some men haters in the feminist movement. You can't judge an entire movement by one of it's subcultures.
• That all feminist ideologies are the same. Maybe some of us push more for equality in the workplace, while others believe and promote a women's right to deciding what's best for her body. Not every feminist is going to have the same ideals, values, or belief system. Why? Because we're human and we're unique and we're not cookie cutter images of each other.

 This is What Feminism Looks Like

© Garry Knight 2011

All this said, I think there is some ignorance involved when women say they are anti, or against feminism. Have you heard of Women Against Feminism? It's  a group of women who post selfies of themselves with handwritten notes stating why they don't need feminism. These sentiments range from actual feminist statements (I don’t need feminism because I believe in equality, not entitlements and supremacy.) to asinine (I don't need feminism because I love masculine men like Christian Grey.)

These women DO need feminism. They just don't KNOW they do. The images of feminism have been skewed and transformed over the years. We are not loud butchy hairy women who are all lesbians and hate men. We are all different, some of us our feminine, strong, big, small, gay, straight, black, white, hispanic...we are not a caricature.

I think we need to stop for a moment and remember why the Suffrage Movement started in the first place.

• Women were not equal to men.
• Women did not have access to higher education.
• Women were excluded from professional occupations.
• Women could not file legal suits.
• Women could not manage her own money.
• Women could not use birth control.
• Women could not divorce.
• When women got the right to divorce, they could not have custody of their children.
• Women could not own property.
• They were not allowed into political conventions and meetings.
• Women were not allowed to vote.
• Women were not allowed to hold public office.
• There was an ideology called "The Cult of True Womanhood" which stated that a "true" woman was a pious, submissive wife and mother concerned exclusively with home and family.



 This is What Feminism Looks Like

© Warren Leffler 1972

• Through the 14th Amendment, our constitution extended protection to all citizens. Then defined “citizens” as “male.”

Even through the 80s women didn't have certain rights.

• Women could not have credit cards.
• Women could not report sexual harassment at work.
• Women could not refuse sex to their husband.

The suffragists had subcultures just like today's feminist movement. There were those who had peaceful assemblies and there were others who were more radical and picketed the White House and held hunger strikes. And I'm sure there was a differing degree of reasons why they were fighting for rights and which rights were more important.

 This is What Feminism Looks Like

Yes, we've come a long way, but the plight of women is not over. As long as we are not paid equally for equal work, and as long as religion and government want to tell us what we can and cannot do with our bodies, and as long as women all over the world are still treated like property,  violated, mutilated and hurt, our work is not done.

This is What Feminism Looks Like
© Fibonacci Blue

I don't want to judge the Women Against Feminism. I get it. You don't want to be
lumped in with a group of men hating radicals. That is not the face of feminism. And let me clarify that I use the word "ignorant," not as a stab. I use it because there is a lack of information, understanding and knowledge where feminism is concerned.

Whatever these Women Against Feminism believe, that's fine. That is there prerogative. Like Guardian columnist Jessica Valenti said on Twitter, "#WomenAgainstFeminism shouldn't worry: Even if they don't believe in us, we'll keep on fighting for them."

On a lighter note, this site is hilarious. And it has cats.

Have a great weekend.

4 ways, as a woman, you are destroying women's rights.

This is my response to the article 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage. I blogged about it yesterday too because I think it is such utter bullshit I can't help but blog about it again. While this blog is about that, it also transcends that though. It's about women who fight against women's rights, sometimes unknowingly, sometimes with purpose. Let's know turn the clock back, let's move forward and become the women we were meant to be, strong, powerful and equal to men.

So here are

1. You write articles that set us back 50 years. Whether we are working mothers or stay at home mothers what we do is important and difficult. I know as I've done them both. So, tell me, why is it automatically the wife's job to cook dinner when she's worked all day too? And tell me, is cooking, cleaning, doing all the grocery shopping, running errands and tending to all the children's needs not as important as the work our spouses do?

No matter if you are a single mom or married, it is hard to raise a family. I know, because I've also done both. Also, we should be in relationships in which we are equal partners. We should not need to coddle, pander to or be submissive to our husbands, boyfriends or significant others. I am not June Cleaver, Donna Reed or  Harriet Nelson. I am SuperMom, BadAss Mom, who does it all and will second to no one in my household. If I'm not an equal, I am gone.

2. You equate feminism to misandry. Specifically I am talking about the group Women Against Feminism (WAF). They post pictures of themselves with posterboard signs stating things like, I don't need feminism because...:

"Because I enjoy being feminine" "If every man is a potential rapist, so is every woman"  "My husband loves and respects me" "I always enjoy making sandwiches"

There are so many more. Let me see here. Not all feminists are butchy. Yes, women can be rapists, but the majority are men. I'm sure many feminists have husbands that love and respect them. And wow, go make a fucking sandwich then. And come one, the whole sandwich thing has gone too far and there are groups of men out there that are sick and post disgusting "humor" out there such as the meme below.

This is what feminists are against. Not making a damn sandwich.

But if you are for...

• Women earning equal pay for equal work.
• Being able to decide what you do with your own body.
• Being able to pursue any kind of career you like, even if it's physically demanding.
• Wearing whatever you like without it being seen as an invitation to be raped.
• Not being fired for being pregnant.
• Not being passed over for promotions because there is the possibility that you may become pregnant.
• Your little girl being able to play any sport she wants, be it football, wrestling, or whatever. 
• Not being sexually harassed at the workplace.

...then you already are a feminist because this is what true feminists are working towards. Yes, there are some bad apples in the bunch, and some of them are vocal, but you find that everywhere in every social and political group. 

But WAF believes we don't get equal pay because of the jobs we take (what about the ones that are the same?) and that alcohol fueled sexual mistakes are mistakenly equated to assault (which may be true in some cases, but not all, probably not many and it actually disgusts me that a woman would think that about another woman).

I consider myself a feminist and I enjoy being feminine and I LOVE men, and sure, I even like catering to a significant other sometimes, but not all the time. Again, I want to be treated with respect and equality and frankly, there are still a lot of misogynists in the world. Maybe the man haters are sometimes more vocal than true feminist and it's time to take back the name, but the cause of WAF is not the way to go. 

3. You pretend your politics protect my rights.

• Concerned Women for America, for example, contends that abortions lead to depression, anxiety, and breast cancer. The American Psychological Association reported in 2008 that "the relative risks of mental health problems are no greater than the risks among women who deliver an unplanned pregnancy." And according to the American Cancer Society "Scientific research studies have not found a cause-and-effect relationship between abortion and breast cancer."
• In opposition to gun control, Gayle Trotter of the Independent Women’s Forum testified that guns reverse the gender “balance of power in a violent confrontation. Armed with a gun, a woman can even have the advantage over a violent attacker. "An armed woman does not need superior strength or the proximity of a hand -to-hand struggle.” How about taking self defense classes to learn how to disarm someone instead? I would rather do that than carry a gun. What if the violent attacker disarms you? Then what?
• The Independent Women’s Forum challenges the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. It opposes the law, because they think funding isn't used to address “proven causes of violence" such as substance abuse, psychological disorders, and marital instability." They don't believe that sexism could be a possible root cause of domestic violence. 

4. You are a woman who has joined The Red Pill. If you don't know what The Red Pill is, this is a tiny summary according to the site on Reddit: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

I tend to disagree with this summary. I think The Daily Dot got it right. "The forum is a trove of horror stories disguised as men trying to “better” themselves. While there are plenty of posts about becoming the sort of guy women want to be around,” most members of the subreddit must have a delusional image of what that means"..."this section of Reddit (or subreddit) is one of its darkest corners, populated by rape apologists, revenge-porn enthusiasts, and those who would justify domestic abuse." I have read some of the stuff on there, and that's exactly what much of it is.

Feminism is not a bad word. If you think it is, you have no idea what it truly means. We do not seek special rights or superiority. Yes, as I said there are those who spoil the bunch. If you're working for women's rights and equality though, you are a feminist. If you're doing any of the things above? Not so much. Rethink what you're doing in the name of women and in the name of your rights as a woman. Don't set us back, move us forward. There are men who support the cause of equal rights and women's issues as well. Do your homework, do your research and make informed decisions.

I'm unfriending you

I'm tired of you. Yes. You. Okay, maybe not specifically you, but I am tired of trash talking on social media. And I'm not just talking your city's football team. I'm talking your gender, your race, your culture, hell, our own fucking country.

I cannot believe in this day and age there are still misogynists and misandrist, racists, xenophobes and homophobes. We are all people!! We are made up of the same bones, organs and muscles. We all bleed red.

And stop hating on the POTUS! He is doing the best he can and he's doing a damn good job. People had health care that didn't before. Unemployment is down, the stock market is up. He ended the war in Iraq and brought our troops home. Osama Bin Laden - gone. Moammar Gaddafi - gone. He repealed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." I could go on...

I'm tired of the ignorance. I don't mind a debate as long as it's thoughtful and you're being respectful of me and my opinion on my own damn profile page. But if you come onto my profile telling me how stupid I am for having my own thoughts, um, b'bye.

It's come to a point in which I just need to shed myself of all the negative surrounding me and if that means I have to unfriend you, I will. If that means I have to block you, I will.

Spend your time on the people who make you laugh and think, the people who make you feel are warm and fuzzy inside. Spend it on those people who inspire you to learn more, work harder and to be better. Life is too short to waste your time and breath on people who make you miserable.