Never let the bureaucracy get you down

The last couple of weeks I have found myself dealing with one of our local bureaucracies. I suppose, outside government, I've never really thought all that much about policy and practice, red tape, and bureaucrats, getting the run around and discrimination because, well, I haven't had to. It's never really applied to me.

Now it has.

I'm not going to get into the specifics of my problem, only that it has had a great effect on me (and not only me, but we'll just talk about me today). It's been frustrating to the point that it's driven me to tears. It's affected my focus, therefore the work at my day job, my writing, also its been physically draining so I've been fatigued and my body aches. It's made me take time out of my day to try to solve this problem that should have never occurred in the first place. It feels like my soul has been sucked right out of me.

Some of my questions have been skirted around rather than answered. They act like they are trying to help, but it feels more like they are just pretending in order to appease me.

When this first happened I searched their policies and found nothing that warranted their actions.   I called them on it, quoting their own policies as well as Washington State legal code and demanded that they fix what they'd done. I was told they would find the policy and show it to me, but their hands were tied because  it was the call of the higher ups, but they would confer with them and get back to me.

When my answer came back, I was told that, well, it's not actually policy, but more of a "practice." To me this means there is nothing in writing to allow/excuse what they've done. They also said they would still try to work with me though and that a "support team" of "very important people" who are "very busy" doing "other things" are going to make the time to have a meeting to try to solve my problem (yes that's basically the way it was told to me like I'm supposed to be thankful).

The problem is they still aren't seeing the big picture I've been trying to point out to them. 1) this should never have happened in the first place. 2) they should have a set policy for this type of thing because according to them it happens more than you'd think. 3) their "practice" in dealing with this situation is uninformed, ridiculous and I would think discriminatory and illegal.

Even if their "support team" comes up with a solution, I'm told "these things take time." My resolution is already coming up next week, so putting all these talking heads together seems to be futile, and like I said, just a way to appease me.

I've decided to make it my mission to force these people to install a policy so this doesn't happen again. I don't want anyone else to have to go through this.

Proof copies can be hazardous to your health

You've seen this cover on my blog many times now, right. Her pants are clearly blue...

The first proof copy I got back, the cover was sooooo dark. When I mentioned it to Lori, she told me that the covers come back about 5x darker than you send them.

So I lightened it up to what you see here to the left. Lighter skin. A glint on the glass, purple fingernails, BLUE pants.

Yeah, the pants look black. And this time the cover is off center. Don't know how that happened. UGH!!!

So here is the disclaimer on getting proof copies: May cause frustration, anxiety, depression, nausea, vomiting, headache, heart pain. May cause hair loss in the form of you pulling it out by the root. In severe cases, could cause death.

This process is definitely a learning curve. A BIG one. After this round though, the second time, which I'm going to start ASAP with Girl in Motion, will be a breeze, right? RIGHT?!?

Frustration

I'm starting this blog without a title because I have a feeling I'm just going to whine and rant without any clear definition of what I'm writing about.

 I suppose that was a warning to you, this is nothing but a rant today...

I was going to title it Feeling Insignificant, but that sounded so pathetic.

But...

Lately I feel like I'm standing still while the whole world is running, gaining a greater and greater lead away from me.

I can't get my work done at work.  I have no many duties I can't keep up.

I can't get my work done at home. I finally did laundry and cleaned my kitchen last night after days.

I've barely written a word in weeks. I have a website I need to work on. A book that needs editing. My fall publication is at a standstill. It almost feels as if it will never get released.

I have no emails, no Facebook comments, no Tweets. This I blame on not having enough time to keep up with the world. No time to interact with my virtual people. People who at one time I'd talk to all day. People I miss.

If I'm not keeping up with the world, how will I possibly make any sales on my next book.

I think it's finally time to balance my world lest the rest of the world pass me by.

But how do you balance it all? I've asked this question before, I know, but I honestly
don't know how people do it. I work, I write, I edit. I coach soccer, attend music gigs and soccer games for my girls. I have a house, a yard, a boyfriend. I kickbox.

And then there's still this sleep issue I have. This utter fatigue that makes me so tired I have to sleep a couple hours during the day which drives me absolutely nuts and takes me away from things I feel I should be doing.

Last night I thought I would write. But after working, then having to take a nap, soccer practice, kickboxing...I had choices. I had piles of laundry to fold and a dirty kitchen, or I could write. I chose the former. I can let my house be in a state of disarray for a little bit, but after a while it nags at me, scratching metaphorical claws on the door of my mind.

I'm only 4200 words into this current book. That saddens me. How can I be a writer if I don't write?

I'm frustrated.

I think I finally found a title for this blog...

Monkey Madness Tuesday: Dear, Spammer

You get the monkeys today because I didn't feel like blogging yesterday, I felt like I had nothing to say. Today I do. I'm feeling some angst. So here I am. 

First of all, to the spammers who keep commenting here on my blog anonymously, go away. Get a life. Don't come back. No one is going to read your comment and follow your link. Are you stupid or something?

Secondly, I'm frustrated about my writing career. I have no idea which direction to go. I have about five projects going. I can't seem to focus. Meanwhile, I've got things tied up with editor and contest. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off.

Thirdly, I have another frustrating ongoing thing I can't really talk about but I'm so tired of dealing with I want to rip my hair out and I really don't understand it, it seems so stupid.

I have to say this. Thank god for kickboxing and xanax.

Image courtesy of samurai/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Learning Curve

I've learned some things the last few days. Writing is a difficult business. Okay, I already knew that, but it gets harder, and can be downright frustrating at times. And people may love your writing, but are not so keen on your subject matter. And people may love your book, but there's this one scene or one character that doesn't quite fit.

So how many people do you listen to? And how much of your novel are you willing to change before saying, I'm not sure about that?

Take Lockdown for instance. Originally I had each chapter named after whose POV (that's point of view for you non writers) it was from. I had a couple people tell me that if your characters are drawn well enough, you won't need to do that.

So, what did I do? I did some revisions, made each voice a little more distinctive, and cut out the chapter names. I mean, I didn't want to look like an amateur. I enter ABNA, I'm ousted from ABNA. I post my excerpt right here on my blog, and more than a couple people told me, I should have named the chapters after the characters, that it's been done before in this book and that book, and though I figured out who was talking, it wouldn't have been so confusing at the beginning when I was learning the voices.

Okay, I'm not saying that the initial critiques were wrong. I'm saying, you can't please everyone. You have to take critiques with a grain of salt. It's like wine tasting, you take them in, swirl them around in your head a little, look at the positives and the negatives, then decide what appeals to you. What works with your style, your voice.

As far as Lockdown goes, I've decided to revise, major. But, not until I finish Cheesy, which is going to go a different direction than I initially intended.

Okay, that is all. I may not be able to blog much this week. I'll try but make no promises. If you don't hear from me, have a wonderful week, in the words of my friend Owen, be great, and catch you on the flip side.

Kisses

:*

Megan