Frustration

I'm starting this blog without a title because I have a feeling I'm just going to whine and rant without any clear definition of what I'm writing about.

 I suppose that was a warning to you, this is nothing but a rant today...

I was going to title it Feeling Insignificant, but that sounded so pathetic.

But...

Lately I feel like I'm standing still while the whole world is running, gaining a greater and greater lead away from me.

I can't get my work done at work.  I have no many duties I can't keep up.

I can't get my work done at home. I finally did laundry and cleaned my kitchen last night after days.

I've barely written a word in weeks. I have a website I need to work on. A book that needs editing. My fall publication is at a standstill. It almost feels as if it will never get released.

I have no emails, no Facebook comments, no Tweets. This I blame on not having enough time to keep up with the world. No time to interact with my virtual people. People who at one time I'd talk to all day. People I miss.

If I'm not keeping up with the world, how will I possibly make any sales on my next book.

I think it's finally time to balance my world lest the rest of the world pass me by.

But how do you balance it all? I've asked this question before, I know, but I honestly
don't know how people do it. I work, I write, I edit. I coach soccer, attend music gigs and soccer games for my girls. I have a house, a yard, a boyfriend. I kickbox.

And then there's still this sleep issue I have. This utter fatigue that makes me so tired I have to sleep a couple hours during the day which drives me absolutely nuts and takes me away from things I feel I should be doing.

Last night I thought I would write. But after working, then having to take a nap, soccer practice, kickboxing...I had choices. I had piles of laundry to fold and a dirty kitchen, or I could write. I chose the former. I can let my house be in a state of disarray for a little bit, but after a while it nags at me, scratching metaphorical claws on the door of my mind.

I'm only 4200 words into this current book. That saddens me. How can I be a writer if I don't write?

I'm frustrated.

I think I finally found a title for this blog...

Author copies, Christmas, and good bfs

Totally unrelated things I know.

First off, I want to say that I received a box of author copies in the mail a couple days ago.  And SQUEEEEEEE!!!!  They are so beautiful.  The cover is metallic and everything seems to pop off of it.

I was asked by my co-prezzie of the Class of 2k12, Caroline Starr Rose if I would read it again now that it was in realsies book form.

I think I just might read it again, this book I've read a bazillion times and got so sick of I wanted to toss it from the Narrows Bridge.  It's kind of different with it's metallic blue cover and it's dedication and acknowledgments, and playlist in the back.  It's a bit surreal to look at it and know it's mine.  I created it.  The title stands out more on the metallic cover than it did on the other, and the car pops off the page.  If I were walking through a bookstore, I would pick it up for sure.  And on the back where the description starts the words I had the dream again are the same as the title, same font, each letter a different color.  I am so in love with this book, more than I've been in a long time.  So yeah, I may read it again.


Now that I've written all that, I can't remember what I was going to say about Christmas. hmmmm.  I'll get back to that when (if) I remember.


To good boyfriends.  I told you the other day, this is a stressful time of year for me, not just because of the holidays but for other reasons.  The other day I was panicking because there were presents to wrap,  Christmas cards to create and send, and gift baskets to make (57 to be exact), and baking to be done, and my house was a mess, and 18 videos and dvds to make and, and, and...

this is not my bf but you get the picture

...and I have a boyfriend who tells me to breathe.  A boyfriend who comes over and folds my laundry, and does my dishes, and vacuums my floors, and makes me dinner while I make videos.  He does allow this poor pathetic girl to breathe.  And I feel much better.  My videos are close to being done, I did some of my baking yesterday, gift baskets, done (just need to be delivered which is fun), my house is clean (outside my office which I just may clean today), I've printed out my Christmas cards, most important, I still have presents to wrap, baking to do, a few more videos to Lightscribe, but I'm also still breathing.


Now about Christmas.  Still don't remember, but I do love waking up to the Christmas lights, to hell with the light bill.

Oh, yeah, and catch me on Julia Karr's 2k12 Days of Christmas today.


Happy Thursday all.  Hope it's a great day.