F³A: Change

It's been a strange ride, this last few years.  From the most horrible things to the most wonderful things: depression, nervous break down, book deal, divorce, dating, winning friends, losing others, and amazing trips to Disneyland, Sundance, Arizona, New York.  Seriously, a tangible rollercoaster ride of life.

It's strange how our experiences in life can change us so dramatically.  They can change our feelings and emotions, our mental capacity.  They can change us physically (my changes added 25 pounds to me, which I need to get rid of STAT!)  Our experiences mold us into who we become.

I was once a submissive housewife.  Raising kids, cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping.  I was the ultimate soccer mom, a title I don't think I deserve anymore.  Life has changed me.  I'm stronger mentally and emotionally.  I still do the household stuff, I have to because now it's just me and Thing One and Thing Two.  I only have my kids half time. I miss them terribly when they're not with me.  I have yard work.  Lots of it, which of course can only be done when the weather permits, which is sporadic at best here in the PNW. I'm still a soccer mom, only the ultimate has changed.  I no longer help at practice, I basically run the money and buy the uniforms.  That part of it saddens me.

I used to screw around on Facebook all the time, and writer forums.  Now since I've divorced and had to get a day job, there's really no time for that.  I sometimes feel I'm losing those connections I made through my writing.  That I'm not there as much and I'll be forgotten.  I miss many of those people who I daily emailed, who made me laugh all the time.  Those who I flirted with.  But like I said, life and experience changes people.

Now I'm a marketing coordinator. That's my title at my day job.  And I'm damn good at it.  I've saved the law firm thousands of dollars a year already.

And I'm a writer.  But along with that comes even more, and I don't think people know how much.  We have to sacrifice our time.  Because along with the writing comes making connections, and hours of editing, marketing, and promotion.  Sometimes the latter takes so much time I don't have time to write.  In fact, I haven't written a new word in weeks. 

Yep, a rollercoaster.  Do I have regrets?  Of course, who doesn't.  But this is the life I chose.  My experiences have taken me down this path, and it's a path I want.

This is me.  Writer, Marketer, Promoter, Editor, Mom, Maid, Cook, Assistant to myself.

Sorry for the lengthy discourse.  It happens when I think too much.

I'll leave you with the Friday Nibbles.

Random iPod shuffle song (Thing Two finally found her iPod, well actually, her dad did): Nicki Minaj, Right Through Me.

Book of the Week: OyMG by Amy Fellner Dominy.  Starting it today.  I've heard it's wonderful.  Amy is wonderful in her own right.  She is a member of the Class of 2k11.

Netflix of the Week: I'm sticking with Arrested Development.  I just finished the entire series. A show that ended before it's time should have been up.  It's hysterical

Quote of the Week: "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."  ~Author Unknown

Tuesday T is for Travail

Travail has two definitions.  One is to struggle, one is to become alive.  Many of you know I have had my share of struggles these last few years.  Last week was no different. Some days are good, some days are bad. Sometimes we win in life, sometimes we lose.  Amongst book releases and getting my ARCs and traveling to New York, I also struggled with bad reviews, and self doubt/loathing, and heartbreak.

The good thing is it's never too late to start over and there's no limit how many times you're allowed to. 

Life has been an emotional and physical roller coaster for the last three years.  I think I'm finally ready to jump off the ride.  To dive into a fresh start. I recently realized I wasn't even following the message of my own novel, make the most out of life, not focus on the negative, you only get one shot at it.

I have much to be thankful for, awesome friends, a great support system, I think my work in progress is pretty good, my book release gets closer and closer.  And hope.  Hope that the rest of the year gets better.  Hope that I find success with Never Eighteen, hope I find balance, hope that I find true happiness in life and become alive again.

~best,

Megan