F³A: Divorce Class

So, when you go for the big "D" in Washington state (and other states I suppose) you have to take a mandatory four hour parenting class (thankfully we didn't have a group of stupid question askers [yes, Virginia, there is such thing as a stupid question] and our instructors wanted to get home as badly as we did, so it was only three hours).

And while the class was somewhat entertaining (reasons to follow) I'm not sure I got much out of it.  Why you ask? Okay, maybe you didn't, but I'm going to tell you anyway.  First off, most the folks in the class had kids under the age of 6, which is true in most divorce cases I suppose, but which also means, most the curriculum is younger kids based. 


The curriculum also seemed geared toward parents that hated and wanted to disparage each other in front of their children.  The girl's father and I get along really good.  We don't speak harshly about one another.  We know that the other is a good parent even though we didn't work. We would never think of downing each other in front of the kids or trying to turn them against the other.


Also, it talked about how to talk to your kids.  My kids and I have always spoken openly and honestly.  They know what's going on with me, I know what's going on with them.  And they're at the age where they understand what's happening and can express themselves if they need to, and they know that I (and their father for that matter)  will listen.


So, to the entertainment portion of the program.  We got to watch some scenes from Mrs. Doubtfire, which I hadn't seen in a long time and which is still hysterically funny, especially from a these-were-the-worst-parents-on-the-face-of-the-earth aspect as they made every mistake a divorced couple could make.  Fighting in front of the kids, talking bad about the other to the kids, etc, etc.


We also saw a scene from the Squid and the Whale which I HAVE to see now because it looks hilarious.  It stars fake Mark Zuckerberg (who I love in a completely and totally not stalkerish, courgar fashion)

But the piece d' resistance was the Feelings Chart.  This was a chart to show your children when they are having trouble expression themselves, to better find out how they're feeling.  Okay, after trying unsuccessfully to upload the funniest pictures, I've decided to draw my own to depict what they kind of looked like.


This first one was guilt.  It was a boy standing over a broken lamp holding a baseball bat.  The bat was placed in a spot in which if you weren't really looking at the back end of it, the front end resembled something coming out of his zipper. er.


This second one was greed.  It was a boy who had stole something (I couldn't tell what, a bag of money, a bag of marbles?)  But where the bully's hand was placed, it looked like inappropriate touching.  And the items that spilled from the bag made it look like the poor tormented boy peed his pants.
 
This next one had a boy with a tv in front of him.  I may be exaggerating the details a little.  The title was 'terrified'.  In the real picture the tv just depicted a menacing guy with a big knife.  But I thought it would be more funny to put blood gushing and death, because, well, that's how I roll.  

This next one was called Happy.  It was a girl unwrapping a present, but to me it looked like a girl whose legs were on fire.

The last one was the best.  I can't even begin to depict the entire wrongness of the picture.  It was 'Kind'.  It was a boy holding a carrot, feeding a bunny.  You could not really tell what the bunny was.  But it was the carrot that was most disturbing.  You could not tell it was a carrot first of all.  Secondly, where it was placed made the picture look pornographic.  I stared at it for about five minutes before someone else finally said, "What IS that in the kind picture?"


Needless to say, many of us parents found this chart inappropriate for children.





Next song on the radio (my iPod is dead): Use Somebody, Kings of Leon


Movie of the Week: Black Swan.  I haven't seen it, I'm going to.

Book of the Week: Tell Me a Secret.  Find my review on Goodreads
Quote of the Week:

"The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the
sleeping world. "
— Leonard Cohen

Celebrate something this weekend.

~megan

Thought Provoking Thursday: Author blurbs

Praise quotes, celebrity endorsements, whatever you want to call them.  In a recent study, it was found that these things are the LAST reason kids will buy a book.  So why are they so important to us as writers? 

I don't have any yet.  I'm okay with that.  My  novel is a long way out and  I've only sent it to one (very busy) writer thus far, and two others have offered to read it, and I just sent a request to another.  This study *points upward* tells me it's no big deal.  To readers.  But to us, the writer (at least to me), it's like acceptance.  It's like being a freshman and getting taken under the wing of the popular seniors and them in turn telling everyone how cool you are.

The writers I've asked to read my novel have all inspired me in one way or another.  I've read their books and in some ways want to emulate them, whether it be solely for their talent, but also because they are so approachable, they make themselves available.  They've taken the time to answer my questions and talk to me and offer me guidance.  That's the kind of writer I want to be.  And that's why I respect them so much.  That's why I've chosen them to endorse me.

If they don't, I think I'll live.  But how good would it feel to have one of your favorite writers tell the world how good you are?  I hope I get to find out.

Writing Wednesday: Never Eighteen

Yep, Since I've shared my cover (er, twice now this week.  Oops make that three times. Guess I'm a little excited)  I thought I would share the opening paragraphs.

Day One . . .

     I had the dream again.  The one where I’m running.  I don’t know what from or where to, but I’m scared—terrified, really.  I wake,  drenched in sweat.  Jumping out of bed, I immediately head to my computer.

      I need to get some things done this weekend, and I’m running out of time.  God, I hope Kaylee can help.  What if she asks what I’m doing?  I can’t tell her, can I?  No.  She’d try to stop me, I’m sure of it.  Shit, I hope she doesn’t have to work.  I should have checked.  Without her Mustang, I may not be able to do this, and I want to, I need to.  Otherwise, things may just continue as they always have: painful, motionless.  Like treading water.  You stay afloat, but you never really get anywhere.  A flash, a flicker of life, that’s all I want.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask. 

Tooting the Horn Tuesday

So, the ABNA (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award) contest closed yesterday, so I want to wish some good luck to those entered.

My friend Gae (The Pull of Gravity) got an awesome review from another friend of mine Becky Kyle.  Read it here.  Think about following Becky.  She's a cool cat and her reviews read like butter.

My friend Tami Snow is adorable and has a video series, Lyrical Lip Service, in which she reads and talks books and writing.  Check her out.

Did I mention that I have a book cover?  You can see it on yesterdays blog.  It's crisp and simple and I'm loving it.  Not only did I get a book cover, 2k11er Trinity Faegen did also for her novel the Mephisto Covenant.  You should check out her website.  She's a hell of a gal.

Another 2k11er Carole Dagg received a great review from Publisher's Weekly for her novel, The Year We Were Famous.  If you're looking for some YA historical fiction, check it out.

I suppose that's enough Tooting today. er.

Peace out,

~Megan

Monday Morning Blahg

First off, I have a cover and I'm psyched.  Ready . . . wait for it . . . ta-da!!

Second of all it's Monday and like most Mondays, things have not gone according to plan.  So that's all I'm posting.

Going back to bed until tomorrow.

~Megan