F³A: Roiling angst and where the day takes me

My angst is at its apogee (this is me and my new goal of using a new lesser used word every day).  It's the time of year, not only because of the season, but for personal reasons both from the way back machine and present day Tacoma, which I'm not going to bore you with at the moment.

I told today I was going to kick its ass, it's not going to go down without a fight.  Number one, thank god for LOL Cats.  Number two, do not look up "bad day" on Google images because lots of icky gross stuff comes up.

Anyhoo.  I said, "Hey, Day, bring it on.  Give me your worst!"

Day said, "Okay first of all, I'll let you have your coffee and do your stupid computer stuffs.  But after that, your ass is mine.  And you're lucky I'm letting you slide on the promise to get on the elliptical today."

Me: "Okay, fine, then what?"

Day: "Hmmm, what to throw at you first.  How about the kitchen."

Me: "Pfft.  Piece of cake."

Day: "Maybe I'll let you pick up your girls today, but then there's groceries, and perhaps some gift delivery."

Me: "Is that all you got?"

Day: "Cookies."

Me: "That may be work to you, but I call that fun."


Day: "Well, then I'll have you catch up on the laundry, wash, dry, fold, AND put away.  You have guests coming on Christmas you know."


Me: "Shit.  Shit.  Okay.  Okay.  I can do this.  Next?"

Day: "You sure you're ready for what comes next?"

I close my eyes, start jumping around, breathe in and out, shake it off like a boxer.  "Okay, yeah, I'm ready...wait.  No.  Yes."  My body calms, I get in my best I-can-take-it-stance.

Day: "Your office."

my office

I almost collapse, but I maintain my cool  I don't want the day to know that its, in a single two words, almost beat me.

Me: "You're on.  I'm kicking your ass Day.  You can't stop me."

Day: "I'm not worried.   I've always got tomorrow."

Okay, time for the Friday Scribbles:

Christmas Song of the Week: Jingle Bells by Sammy Davis Jr.  No one sings it like him.

Book of the Week: Still on Just Cause by my friend Ian Healy.  Christmas has taken away my ability to read in a timely manner, but hopefully will finish next week.

Christmas Movie of the Week: Going with The Family Stone.  I love it.  Luke Wilson is so cute and funny in it.  And I love Rachel McAdams in it too.

Quote of the Week: "As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same." ~Donald Westlake

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa.  If you don't celebrate a holiday, celebrate you.

Author copies, Christmas, and good bfs

Totally unrelated things I know.

First off, I want to say that I received a box of author copies in the mail a couple days ago.  And SQUEEEEEEE!!!!  They are so beautiful.  The cover is metallic and everything seems to pop off of it.

I was asked by my co-prezzie of the Class of 2k12, Caroline Starr Rose if I would read it again now that it was in realsies book form.

I think I just might read it again, this book I've read a bazillion times and got so sick of I wanted to toss it from the Narrows Bridge.  It's kind of different with it's metallic blue cover and it's dedication and acknowledgments, and playlist in the back.  It's a bit surreal to look at it and know it's mine.  I created it.  The title stands out more on the metallic cover than it did on the other, and the car pops off the page.  If I were walking through a bookstore, I would pick it up for sure.  And on the back where the description starts the words I had the dream again are the same as the title, same font, each letter a different color.  I am so in love with this book, more than I've been in a long time.  So yeah, I may read it again.


Now that I've written all that, I can't remember what I was going to say about Christmas. hmmmm.  I'll get back to that when (if) I remember.


To good boyfriends.  I told you the other day, this is a stressful time of year for me, not just because of the holidays but for other reasons.  The other day I was panicking because there were presents to wrap,  Christmas cards to create and send, and gift baskets to make (57 to be exact), and baking to be done, and my house was a mess, and 18 videos and dvds to make and, and, and...

this is not my bf but you get the picture

...and I have a boyfriend who tells me to breathe.  A boyfriend who comes over and folds my laundry, and does my dishes, and vacuums my floors, and makes me dinner while I make videos.  He does allow this poor pathetic girl to breathe.  And I feel much better.  My videos are close to being done, I did some of my baking yesterday, gift baskets, done (just need to be delivered which is fun), my house is clean (outside my office which I just may clean today), I've printed out my Christmas cards, most important, I still have presents to wrap, baking to do, a few more videos to Lightscribe, but I'm also still breathing.


Now about Christmas.  Still don't remember, but I do love waking up to the Christmas lights, to hell with the light bill.

Oh, yeah, and catch me on Julia Karr's 2k12 Days of Christmas today.


Happy Thursday all.  Hope it's a great day.

Sleepless in Seattle

Okay, Sleepless in Tacoma. For the last few years, I've had these spurts of sleeplessness, maybe two, three weeks at a time, followed by about a month of can't-get-up-in-the-morning-to-save-my-life. WTF?

I've never really tracked these weeks of sleeplessness, if they coexist with some form of stress, anxiety, or changes in life. If that were the case it would totally make sense right now. Things that are stressful, angst inducing, or have changed in Megan's life:

Holidays. mmhmmm. Here they are again. Presents to buy, baking to be done, lights to put up. Um, yeah, I've pretty much broken down for the last four years this time of year. Rock bottom here I come.

Option book. My debut book is almost out. Just over one month to go (panic sets in as I realize this). But wait, while I'm marketing the hell out of Never Eighteen, I have another book to write. Okay, I wrote it, it's done. But wait, there's more. Midway through I change direction. Now I have to rewrite it. And let me tell you. I've been less than motivated because I know it's a big project. At some point my agent is going to ask about it. (Actually she already has, told her done, just doing revisions, only a little fib). So, yeah, stress.

Book release. Parties to plan, reviews to worry about. The stress of wondering if it will sink or swim. I mean, yeah, of those who've read it so far, most have liked to loved it. But by US standards, that's a handful of people. Ugh!

Um, new relationship. This isn't stressful or angty. Its just a change in life. The most stress will come from introducing him to the kids, the rents, and subjecting him to the rest of my family at some point and hoping that's not a deal breaker. Otherwise, the relationship has been amazing.

Weight.  The never-ending form of stress.  I'm still down seven pounds, but my goal was twenty five by my release.  That leaves me with 18 to go and two 1/2 months left to do it.  Possible, yes, but I am weak when it comes to certain kinds of food and I must avoid them like the plague, which will be hard during the holiday season.

Work.  I love my job, but I've taken on more responsibility, and my partner in crime at work has other responsibilities.  And there are a few tasks that are frustrating the hell out of me.  I feel so far behind and I can't catch up.  I have to keep up with SEO, print ads, our newsletter, creating and uploading websites, helping plan the Christmas party.  All stuff I like to do, yet, I feel overwhelmed at times and am multi-tasking beyond my abilities.

So, when I wake up at 3:30 am, my mind will not allow my body to go back to sleep.  Anyone have any insomnia remedies?