Wednesday Weigh In: Slow start and stupid cats

Finally I'm back on track. Down 4 pounds and exercising again. Determined.

I had something I was going to blog about, but I think it's more vlog worthy, so I'm hoping to have some time to film a Middle Aged Angst segment today.

Instead I'll talk about Lola. The cat that comes to visit. Mind you, I am not an animal person, mostly because I have horrible allergies. But awhile back, this cat started coming to my window and meowing.

One day I gave her turkey. She seemed very hungry.

Then I did it again. And again.

Then one day I let her in.

Now mind you, she's not homeless. She doesn't have a collar, but she's well fed and not mangy at all.

So then me and the Things got her some stuff. A bed, a scratching post, a couple toys, a food dish and food.

This has been going on for at least a couple months now where she comes, mostly on weekends, though her weekday visits have increased.

Yesterday she came in and was acting crazy. Next thing I know, she's in my office peeing in a box that held the newspaper articles about me and my book. I promptly tell Thing One to kick her out, as she's really the only one in the house that likes her.

Now I'm convinced she's the reincarnation of the cat I accidentally ran over when I moved into the neighborhood. I always said the cats in the hood were stalking me after the incident, but now I'm convinced.

Wednesday Weigh In: Dating a chef

This is not what my chef looks like.

Okay, I'm not doing so bad, but dating a chef makes it difficult to stay on track.  I took him to meet my parents last night (yes, another step) and he made gnocchi with chicken and peppers, roasted acorn squash, and we had bread and wine on the side.  Yum.  needless to say, I've not weighed myself this morning. 

The next couple days though, I'm buckling down to lose a couple pounds.  Office xmas party is Saturday and I have to fit into one of my dresses. sigh.

Still have the goal of losing more weight by release date.  That gives me just over a month *hyperventilate*. I think I can drop at least a few by then as long as my chef cooks light for me (or  not at all, lol).  AND no cookies, candy, or other holiday treats. sigh.

Sleepless in Seattle

Okay, Sleepless in Tacoma. For the last few years, I've had these spurts of sleeplessness, maybe two, three weeks at a time, followed by about a month of can't-get-up-in-the-morning-to-save-my-life. WTF?

I've never really tracked these weeks of sleeplessness, if they coexist with some form of stress, anxiety, or changes in life. If that were the case it would totally make sense right now. Things that are stressful, angst inducing, or have changed in Megan's life:

Holidays. mmhmmm. Here they are again. Presents to buy, baking to be done, lights to put up. Um, yeah, I've pretty much broken down for the last four years this time of year. Rock bottom here I come.

Option book. My debut book is almost out. Just over one month to go (panic sets in as I realize this). But wait, while I'm marketing the hell out of Never Eighteen, I have another book to write. Okay, I wrote it, it's done. But wait, there's more. Midway through I change direction. Now I have to rewrite it. And let me tell you. I've been less than motivated because I know it's a big project. At some point my agent is going to ask about it. (Actually she already has, told her done, just doing revisions, only a little fib). So, yeah, stress.

Book release. Parties to plan, reviews to worry about. The stress of wondering if it will sink or swim. I mean, yeah, of those who've read it so far, most have liked to loved it. But by US standards, that's a handful of people. Ugh!

Um, new relationship. This isn't stressful or angty. Its just a change in life. The most stress will come from introducing him to the kids, the rents, and subjecting him to the rest of my family at some point and hoping that's not a deal breaker. Otherwise, the relationship has been amazing.

Weight.  The never-ending form of stress.  I'm still down seven pounds, but my goal was twenty five by my release.  That leaves me with 18 to go and two 1/2 months left to do it.  Possible, yes, but I am weak when it comes to certain kinds of food and I must avoid them like the plague, which will be hard during the holiday season.

Work.  I love my job, but I've taken on more responsibility, and my partner in crime at work has other responsibilities.  And there are a few tasks that are frustrating the hell out of me.  I feel so far behind and I can't catch up.  I have to keep up with SEO, print ads, our newsletter, creating and uploading websites, helping plan the Christmas party.  All stuff I like to do, yet, I feel overwhelmed at times and am multi-tasking beyond my abilities.

So, when I wake up at 3:30 am, my mind will not allow my body to go back to sleep.  Anyone have any insomnia remedies?

Wednesday Weigh In

I did better this week.  -1 pound.  yay me.  I'm keeping up with my exercise, though I think it's time to throw some Pilates in the mix.  I've also cut down on my Starbucks. sigh.  Yes I know how many calories are in my venti non fat no whip white mocha, but sometimes I can't help myself.

I'm hoping when the weather changes I still force myself to walk outside.  Exercising inside just isn't the same.  The fresh air clears my head too. I think I'll be more productive if I continue outside.  We'll see when the time comes.

Wednesday Weigh In: Ugh

Worse than last week.  Of course, I'm probably still gaining muscle because I'm exercising regularly, but I KNOW I maybe didn't eat all that good this week.  Sheesh, making myself accountable to the world isn't working yet.  I'm still working it though.

Time to get serious.  This is getting ridiculous!!

When did my butt get so big?

Lack of sleep left me without a blog idea. So I put it out there and my friend Christine said she'd gained five pounds, blog about that. So I shall.

Women and weight have this roller coaster relationship. Up and down, up and down.

Here's the funny thing. When we're younger, we have this distorted body image. We look in the mirror and we see ourselves like Jabba the Hut. It doesn't matter if we look like Twiggy (here she is to the left). I remember when I was in high school, I thought I was fat. I was on a constant diet. Thing was, I wasn't really overweight. I look back and wish that was my body again.

Media tells us what we should look like, which back in those days, was stick figures. This is why so many young women are afflicted with eating disorders, because of the impossible examples of how we should look. We can not all be Kate Moss thin .

Now, when I got into my twenties, I was more comfortable in my own skin, but still not happy. And forget about after I had kids...yikes. You will never see a photo of me from 1996 to 2006. That's when I began the dance, the back and forth with the weight. Now, I have come to terms that I will never be "thin". I am a real woman, I have curves (okay, maybe I don't look like this --->), and I've learned to like myself that way. However, I like to be strong and muscular and toned, and this is where I'm lacking at times, like, er, now.

I know what it takes. A balance between exercise and eating right. NOT dieting. And I do eat right. Low salt, low fat, no beef or pork, no partially hydrogenated oils, I eat whole grains. I cook a lot from scratch. I even gave up my Doritos for god's sake.

But time to get back to the exercise, which I start next week, and now I have this, er, health coach through my husband's medical (they actually pay ME to talk to her). So if I don't stick to my plan, I look like a schmuck because I have to be accountable to her and to myself.

Top Four Worst Things About Having Kids in Middle School #2 Self Esteem

Kids self esteem takes a beating in middle school, maybe worse than anywhere else in life. Middle school is when cliques form, puberty starts (for most), and kids are coming into their bodies.

Let's start with cliques. Kids are forming groups based on, who knows these days? When I was in school it was pretty much looks. All the cute girls and guys were popular. These days, I think it's the loud obnoxious ones. The ones who make you pay attention. When my oldest daughter started middle school, there were two HUGE cliques and then everyone else. The friendships she had wavered that year, you know how fickle middle school girls can be.

Now my youngest is in sixth grade, and I've already seen her friends choose sides, leave people out, gossip. It starts all over.

Luckily, the oldest girl has found her way, being a friend to everyone, and having her core of good friends. My youngest daughter has also naturally adopted the "friend to all" attitude, and I think that will help them both in the long run.

Then there's puberty. Nothing damages a girl's (and probably a boy's) self esteem more than a huge zit right in the middle of their nose. Lucky for my kids, I have naturally oily skin (being Italian and all) and keep a vast array of skin cleansers in the house, clearisil, nutragena, proactive (although I have no idea how to spell these things obviously). Unfortunately, I see so many kids with bad skin, nice kids, and you wonder, why don't the parents help them out with this? Zits (well most, there are those big mothers that pop up every once in a while that just have a mind of their own) can be helped with good hygiene.

Then there's weight. My daughter, at 105 pounds complains. She's not fat. At all. My younger daughter on a daily basis asks me if she's chubby. I try and stress to my daughters that they are not fat, that they do not have to worry about it yet. If they eat right and stay fit, they'll never have to worry about it. I try and eat right and exercise to set a good example. I don't buy sweets, only on occasion, I don't by sugary cereals, pop, or candy regularly. I buy them ice cream about once a month, chocolate milk about once every two months. Being overweight can completely damage a kids self esteem, and I don't want my kids to go through what I went through. (and not having these sugary sweets can also cut down on the acne)

As a parent, I do my best to help my girls feel good about themselves, teach them how to take care of themselves and how to be a good friend. The rest is up to them.