Monkey Madness Monday: Balancing Act

"Rhesus Monkey" by James Barker

Keeping my life balanced is one of my New Year's resolutions, and perhaps the hardest one for me to keep. I have all these different aspects of my life that have to fit into the box that constitute my 15-16 daily waking hours.

I need to balance work, writing, marketing, household cleaning and maintenance, kids, boyfriend, friends and family, exercise, and the time in which my life is slowly slipping from me on my way to and from these tasks.

How do I do it? Well, right now I don't. That's the point. I WANT to, but I've never been good with balance. Multi-tasking? Yes. Complete and utter exhaustion? Sure. But balance? Nope.

Step one: Advice from my boyfriend, say no. Of course I know this, I've told myself I need to stop doing for others until I've got my own shit together. But I can't seem to do it.  Megan, come over early and help me set up for the party? Sure! Megan, could you review my book for me? Great! No problem! Megan, can I get you to read my query letter/synopsis/partofmymanuscrip/etc? You bet!

Don't get me wrong, there are people I will ALWAYS say yes too. My parents, people I'm mentoring, people who have helped me out, but I don't have to say yes to everyone, which I find myself doing more often than not. Sigh.

by David Castillo Dominici

Step two: Make a list. I need to list all the things on my to do list. And I mean ALL of them. It will be extensive, but whether it's something I need/want to do tomorrow or next year, I need to keep track of it.

Step three: Prioritize. Okay, maybe buying all new towels for my bathroom isn't as important that getting my manuscript to my editor. And perhaps that manuscript isn't as important as say, feeding my children. Or maybe it is? No matter, I need to figure out what is important and what can be put on the back burner.

Step four: As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." Uh, yeah. Okay, no try, I have to do. Without the "do", I will have spent all these waking hours on making lists and prioritizing for naught, and believe me, I have no waking hours to waste. It's going to take a schedule. Deadlines. Fortitude. Diligence. Things I try to ignore, but can no longer.

How are you at the balancing act? Do you find yourself swimming in the shallow end trying to ignore those tsunamis heading your way that are bound to drown you?

Yeah, that's me. So here I go. Wish me luck. If you never see my head above water again, it's been nice knowing you. Keep it real.

Tuesday Writing Tips: Distractions

Here are some tips for keeping distractions at bay while writing.

Children: Go find a place and hole up.  If your kids are older, tell them you need an hour of no distractions (you tell them that means unless someone is bleeding to death, etc, STAY AWAY!).  For younger kids, hire a babysitter for an hour or two to bust some words out.  Another way to get some writing in without the kids nagging, write before they get up in the morning or after they go to bed at night. (this could also apply to your spouse if you have one).

Internet:  You know when you're writing, and you just need a few minute break, so you open Facebook and somehow two hours have passed?  Close it.  Shut it off.  Disconnect.  That's the only way to be sure you'll stay away from those status updates, Mafia Wars, Farmville and the like.

Phone calls/text messages:  Leave your phone in another room or simply turn it off.  Now, I'm talking about a cell phone of course, but I don't have a land line anymore.  Either way, let the voice mail take it or let your significant other or kids answer in case it's important.

Everything else: Take off for a weekend alone.  Let the hubby/wife/grandparents watch the kids for a weekend and get yourself a hotel room in a quiet place.  I've done this a few times (planning on doing it again in a couple weeks) and I'm always productive.  ALWAYS.

These are just my own ideas of course, you may find other things that work for you. (I haven't quite mastered the whole internet thing yet)  Everyone deserves an hour of quiet.  Take yours and write.

Oh, and one more thing the dishes, laundry, general cleaning will all be there when you get back.

The Caregivers of the World: Baby Sitters

I don't mean just any baby sitter, I mean the really good ones.  The ones that play with  you, that make you milkshakes, that let you stay up a little later than you should, the ones that would read you a bed time story.  When I was growing up, we had a pair of sisters down the street that would come watch us, Caroline and Susan.  I don't remember their last names now, but they were the best baby sitters ever.

When I had kids, it was important to me to find a sitter that would actually watch and play with my kids.  Not one who would talk on the phone, or watch television.  I was lucky enough to find two.  The first one was Teefa.  She was like another daughter to me.  I'd known her since she was about 8 or 9 I think, and she started baby sitting for us when she was 12.  She was very mature for her age, so I felt comfortable leaving my children in her care.  She played games with the kids, watched Disney movies, play Barbies.  She was awesome.

However, she grew up, went to college, and now she's married with kids of her own.  When she went to college and worked, she wasn't as available as she once had been for us. So we called on Erica, the daughter of a family friend.  She was great too, played hide and seek, colored and drew with the kids.  When she would sit, we always came home to art work.

So, I want to give a shout out to those two ladies.  It's so hard to find good baby sitters, and I had two of the best.


Maybe get your sitter a little extra something next time he/she sits, a starbucks card, iTunes, something you know they'd use and enjoy.

Ciao,

Megan