Resolutions for 2016

I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, but I do like to take some time at the end (or very beginning) of a year and map out some goals for myself.  I also like to re-evaluate the goals I made the previous year and see how I held up.

If you read my blog yesterday, you will know that 2015 wasn't the easiest year for me. Of course, the last few have been a struggle. Even so, I am always hopeful that the next year will be a better one full of endless possibilities and worthwhile challenges.

Let's go over last year's goals and achievements, and plans for 2016.

Work:
Last year: Continuing in my business plans. A friend and I, after we lost our jobs, began a business

venture. It hasn't sucked, but it isn't mapping out like I expected. There's nothing wrong with that though. She found full time work, and I have been doing contract work in both writing and marketing, plus, I have a job back at the family wine shop. All is good on that front.

2016: I love all the work I do and plan to continue all of it. However, I am placing heavy focus on the wine shop. I will be working there more come next week and eventually taking over. My plan is to buy the place. It is a fun place to work with so much potential. My goal is to make it a success.

Writing:
Last year: My goal was to write more. I'm pretty much still working on the same stuff I was last year. Though I appear to be at a standstill, I'm not discouraged. I know I will finish one of these books. All of these books. Some of these books. It may not be this year, but it will be someday. Someday is a hopeful word. It's not never. And though I didn't write as much as I may have wanted to, I did write. I worked on the old and I started something new.
2016: I will more than likely continue in the same vein. I mean, I'd like to write more, and maybe I will. But I am not going to set myself up for failure. I have prioritized some projects, and that will help to reach some of my writing goals.

Relationships:
Last year: Didn't look for love. At all. That was one of my goals. If it were to find me, that would have been fine, but I didn't go out of my way to track it down. At times my world is a lonely place, without a significant other, but I have my family, good friends, and my amazing daughters to keep my occupied. And thank god I have no cats.
2016: Still not going to look. If it falls in my lap, fine. Truth be told, I'm not sure I'm in a place that I could even have a relationship if I wanted to. And I'm ever so picky. Not about looks or money or whatnot. My set of ideals centers around kids, pets, freedom, and aspirations.

Health:
Last year: Since I'd been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and/or Adrenal Fatigue,
my goal was to do what it takes to get better. That was a struggle. Adrenal fatigue's main cause is stress. With the overwhelming amount of stress I felt last year, getting better was near impossible. I did have good  days, but when times were very stressful, it was hard to function. I had a naturopath to help me, but when I lost my job, my new insurance didn't cover it and I could not afford it out of pocket.
2016: I want to feel better. I know there are ways I can. I need to try to eliminate as much stress as possible from my life. For a time I ate clean and it made me feel better. I'd like to eat as clean as possible. I bought a new bed, which helps with sleep. I need to follow cues I get from my body with regard as to what to eat, drink, to take a nap if I need to, to ask for help, take time off...My goal is to get my mind, body and spirit in alignment this year. I've purchased some books to help me with this goal.

Exercise:
Last year: With CFS, exercise is really hard. I was taking a kickboxing class when I first starting feeling its effects. It became so hard I quit. However, I did end up joining a gym last year. Did I go? Yes, at first. Then sporadically. Then when the CFS worsened toward the middle of the year, hardly at all.
2016: I'm back at the gym. I do cardio and strength training. I cannot yet participate in classes because it's too hard on my body. One day of overdoing it and I am in bed for half a week. So I'm careful. The kickboxing gym is opening a location in Tacoma, and I think I will use the remainder of my classes there. I did love that class and the form of exercise. I will just have to pace myself. I have a goal. About 5 years ago I was probably at my fittest. I want to get back there, or at least close. I want to be in good shape as I age.

Travel:
Last year: I traveled. I went to Scottsdale, Austin, and made many road trips throughout Washington
State. I was supposed to go to Vegas, but for personal reasons had to cancel two different trips. I had New Orleans and San Diego on my list, but didn't quite make it there.
2016: Traveling is one of my favorite things. I will continue. I already have plans to go to Scottdale again and Hawaii. Again, I'll be road trippin' it. Possibilities include Montana (don't laugh, I've never been and my daughter is looking at a college there), New Orleans is still on the list. I'd like to go to Vegas, and I have my sites set on Italy, though that may have to wait another year. Of course I still have my crazy goal of driving cross country. It's not come to fruition yet, but it continues to lay dormant in the back of my mind.

Friendships:
Last year: My goal was to make new ones. I think I achieved this handily. Just a couple, but I think I chose well.
2016: Just keep it up. You can never have too many friends.

Anything else? Hmmmmm...

• I think I would like to try something that scares the hell out of me. I don't know what, but I want my life to be full of adventure. 
• I would like to get more organized. I kow this is a total cliche resolution, but in my case, it is truly needed. I think it would help me to balance my time between home, work and relationships better. 
• Think positive. I tend to be a glass half empty type of person, but I don't want to be. I want to be able to take things in stride, look at the bright side, breathe with ease.
• Read more, for pleasure.  I think I can count on one hand how many books I read for pleasure last year. Don't get me wrong, I read plenty of business and health books, but I'd like to read some fiction. I'm starting with The Game of Love and Death by Martha Brockenbraugh.
• I want to be blissful - truly happy. I think if I really work on the goals I've set for myself, bliss will fall into place.

So, did you have goals you achieved last year? Want to share your goals for the upcoming year? I think it helps to talk these things out. It makes you accountable. I also think it makes things more doable if you have "people," you know, the ones that are rooting for you, lifting you up, the ones that have your back.

I will be your "people" if you need me.

Well, that's all. Have a great New Year's Day and best wishes for a 2016 full of possibilities. 

10 resolutions I won't be making...

1. To stop talking shit about people. Everyone does it. Okay, when I talk shit about my friends, I mostly do it to their faces because if they're acting stupid, I think they should know about it. I hope they would do the same for me. Mostly I talk shit about stupid celebrities because seriously, they boggle my mind. I'm still trying to come up with a pithy phrase for my Kanye boycotting campaign. Maybe instead of Kan-yeah, it should be Kan-nay. SMH, I know, that's horrible. I'll keep thinking...
2. To learn something new. I cannot even keep up with the stuff I already know, why would I want to add anything to that list. I'll just maintain my level of intelligence right where it is thank you.
3. Take more time for myself. HAHAHA. I have come to the conclusion that time for myself is a fallacy. It will happen only as a fluke, there is no making time for it, so there is no point in resolving to do so.
4. Keeping a journal. I try, I really do. I write sporadically. I'll write for a couple
   
   days, then not again for say, a year, then I'll remember I have a journal and I'll pick it up again. It's pathetic. Sad thing is my life is interesting. Laughably so. I'm sure my kids would get a kick out of reading about it eventually. Perhaps I'm dismissing this one too quickly. Should rethink...
5. Save money. Yeah, in a perfect world I want to do this. I mean, I do this, but I do it so I don't know I'm doing it, with money I never see. It would be nice to be able to do it with money I do see, but I don't have money to save because I have these little plastic things that hold other people's money that they let me use when I don't have money of my own and then they charge me like 5 million times more than I used to pay it back. Yeah, so first I'm going to pay that back before I save my own money.
6. Conquer my  fears. No. I'm sorry. I will never pet a spider. You will never get me into a submarine, which attributes to two of my fears, drowning and being in enclosed spaces, I will not get too close to the Grand Canyon or any high space with little protection for fear I will plummet to my death, and keep your clowns to yourself. They will always paralyze me with fear and I refuse to ever try to conquer that. So there.
7. Swearing. Fuck that. Who cares? I know when and where to not use my "f" bombs. I will not use them when meeting your grandmother, if I'm at your wedding or funeral (well, maybe at your funeral) or if your tiny children or near, otherwise, it's fair game.
8. Give up vices. Why should I deprive myself of the very things that make life
   
   enjoyable for me? If I exercise and eat right, I don't see why I can't drink coffee and wine habitually and gamble every so often.
9.  Enjoy life to the fullest. Right. This seems like a good idea, but if you're a writer that writes about the trials and tribulations in life, one who writes about social issues like illness and cutting, school violence, death and dying, you need to be a little broody at times. So I'll live life to the fullest every other day and sulk in a writing angst the others. Good compromise?
10. Use social media less. Why? This is how people connect now. This is how I stay connected with the many writers I've met from all over the world. With the readers, librarians and teachers I've connected with through my writing. This is how I've reconnected with old friends from elementary, junior high and high school. My new BF I've known since 5th grade and where did we reconnect? Facebook. So when people tell me I should really lay off the________________(fill in your favorite social media outlet) once again I say why? Sure, human contact is important, but how cool is it to be able to stalk people all over the world now?

Is there any popular resolutions you are just saying "no" to?

2013 accounting and 2014 intentions.

This year flew by. Seriously, I have no idea where it went. I feel like I was just doing I made the year before and see how I did and then set some goals for the next year.
resolutions
this. If you've not read my blog in December before, I like to go through the

But first, let's talk about the year. It's had its ups and downs...

1.  For the first couple months I continued to visit schools and talk about Never Eighteen and then I got sick and tired of it and decided it was time to work on getting something new out.
2. Never Eighteen was nominated for its first award, the New York City Reading Association's Charlotte Award. 
3. Never Eighteen got a book deal in Brazil.
4. Battled with my ex-agent over my film and movie rights. There was no winner, even though I have them now.
5. After querying approximately 3 agents I decided toke the plunge and indie publish. CRAZY!!
6. I took some amazing trips, Arizona with friends and my daughters, my first time to Vegas with a new friend, a few trips to the ocean, Lake Chelan.
7. Got to meet writer friends Taylor McCleve, Bettina Restrepo, Suzanne Lazear, and Liz Fichera, Jenny Milchman on my travels (or theirs). Forgive me if I forgot anyone!!
8. I've seen come great live music, small and big shows that included my daughter's band, and private show with Ian McFeron for my niece's birthday, the friend of a friend who plays some awesome Americana, my brother's band Smilin' Jack, Stephanie Anne Johnson, Pearl Jam...
9.  Dating, well, hmmm, it happened. Times were good, times weren't so good. Now they're great.
10. Both kids driving. Oy. Thing two gets her license next month.
11. One book edited, a new one started, and one...
12. ...Indie published!! Woot! A nerve wracking and awesome experience. Will I do it again? Hell yes!
13. I call this "The Year of Great Sleep".  If you've followed my blog, you know I've been having this health problem, and yes I call it a health problem, in which I have to sleep 2-3 hours a day, in the middle of the day which drives me nuts. I've done everything, tested everything and it's not diet, exercise or anything else. Trying a couple more things...frustrating.
14.  Read lots of good book. Lots for me at least, which is probably just a few for you, lets see, Divergent, Catching Fire, Mockingjay, Joe Peace, Cover of Snow...I'm pretty sure I've read more than that...those are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head.

Now, for the resolutions. Let's see how I did, and if I didn't succeed, how I will adjust in the upcoming year to try to achieve these goals.

Health:
Exercise 3-5 times a week. Eat healthier, cut down on my wine. Drop some weight. I didn't put a number on it. Quiet reflection 30 minutes a day.

Results -  HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I did good with the exercise, kickboxing 3 times a week...until "The Year of Great Sleep" caught up with me. Then I just couldn't do it any more. I have started walking again though and it feels good. Eat healthier, for the most part. Cut down on wine, yes! Drop weight. I dropped it, then I picked it back up, then I dropped it again, then I picked it back up. I did that a couple times within the 10 pound range. Last time I checked I was down, but I'm pretty sure I've gained during the holidays so I've not checked, and I'm not going to until I fee liked I've dropped a couple pounds. Quiet reflection 30 minutes a day...EPIC FAIL.

2014 goal - Hope what I'm doing for "The Year of Great Sleep" works and keep walking and when I feel up to it, get back to kickboxing. Eat better. Cut out more sodium specifically. Stop eating popcorn for dinner and cook more. Considering going gluten free, but I REALLY like my half bagel in the morning with Laughing Cow cheese. Try to lose 10 pounds by my birthday in April. Quiet reflection for 10 minutes a day. Maybe that's more doable.

Writing:
Last year's goal was to finish my nano project and write 2 more books. And I was making decisions between these three things: 1) Entering ABNA 2) Self publishing 3) Finding an agent.

Results - I scrapped the nano project. I may pick it up at some point, but for now, it's Yay me!!
on the back burner. I have other projects I want to finish first. Write 2 more books? Was I completely insane when I wrote that? Drunk? Possessed by some kind of writing demon? HAHAHA yeah, that didn't happen. I did start one. I got up to 21k. Nothing to sneeze at. And of the last 3 items I did enter ABNA and of course I self published Dissected.
 
2013 goal - Definitely not to write 2 books this year. I know that's not going to happen. I do want to finish the one I'm writing. I would also like to self publish another in late summer early fall - my football book titled, Girl in Motion. And possibly edit my school shooting book and work on my dystopian series, though that's getting a little lofty.

Life:
Last year's goals -Better balancing work, writing, kids, and all the other pleasures in life. Reading more, staying organized, travel more.


Results - I think I did worse with the balance this year than the previous and I blame that on "The Year of Great Sleep." You seriously have no idea how debilitating it's been. I do want to read more. I have certain books on my TBR list, Insurgent, I've been wanting to read some John Green, my friend Gae's 2nd book comes out and sounds amazeballs (I've already pre-ordered it), I have other friend's books to get to still...so many books, so little time. Organization, oy. Um, I think I was better although my office was messy from July to October. I bought a new desk and other furniture to get me organized. I have yet to put three more pieces together, but I'll get there. Travel more...I traveled as much as I could I think.

2014 goal - Balance...screw balance. I'm going to take these things one by one...

• Work - Who cares?
• Writing - An hour a day. I think I can promise myself that, can't I? It's not too much to ask of myself?
• Marketing - An hour a day. I may break this down even more, weekly tasks or monthly, like send out so many books or postcards, or do a live event a month, IDK yet. 
• Kids - My kids and I have already decided to commit one day a week to each other in which we have dinner and spend the evening together doing something, with no one else, just us.
• Organization - Um...I'll work on it. That's all I can say.
• Travel - Yes. I will be going to the ocean, in fact, I'm starting the year out there. I know there will be more trips to the ocean and I will be going to Arizona, Mexico, and Florida, these things are for sure. Other than that, I don't know. One of these days I want to take my daughters to NY. Before I am too old, I need to do my drive across the country. I've only been wanting to do it since I graduated high school. Maybe this should be the year. I should really do it before I'm 50 at least.

Love:
Last year's goals - To love myself and others to the best of my abilities. Remember that I am fallible and will make mistakes, but it is just a part of life, who I am, and who I will be. As long as I keep growing and learning from the mistakes I make, it's fine. Continue to trust in myself and others, but I also need to be more careful when doing this and know not everyone has my best interests at heart. And I will continue to let happiness happen.

Results - Let's see...hahaha, um, I tried really hard to love myself and sometimes I was hugely successful at it and sometimes I epically failed. It's pretty much impossible not to remember that I'm fallible and make mistakes. I've gotten used to it. Totally kidding, but yeah, I'm okay making mistakes. As humans we never stop growing and learning and I'm okay with that. I think I become a better more interesting person every year. And maybe even a little more profound. I don't know. happiness happen, I do, but I also

2014 goals - I pretty much love me for who I am. I think I'm a pretty cool cat. I'm crazy pants, but I think they help me appreciate when life is good and right. They remind me of times in which I was really low and how I don't ever want to go back there. I found a quote I love - "...but for the dark, we'd never see the stars." I've been writing it in Dissected when I sign it. As far as mistakes and fallibility go, I'm going to keep doing that and keep learning and growing as a person and keep feeling and experiencing life. Our mistakes, our experiences our adventures is what makes us interesting, unique. They are what give us stories to tell. Trust...who cares...if I want to throw my heart at someone, it's mine to throw. If they break it into tiny pieces and throw it back at me, it's just another of life's lessons learned the hard way and I have another story to tell.

Or maybe I'm just narcissistic to think that because, well, I am. I don't trust myself. Period. Pttthhh. I don't care. I do stupid stuff. I make bad decisions, mistakes. I'm okay with it. See sentences above. I trust others though, but I've become jaded and skeptical. I'm careful these days. And I let
like a little sadness from time to time.
smart, I'm funny, I'm adorable, but I do have moments of self loathing, but to be perfectly honest, in a way I like those moments and I think I need those low moments, as long as I don't have them too often. I don't know if this sounds completely

A few more goals I have:

• Smile more. :)
• Visit my parents at least once a week.
•  Learn patience or at least learn to breathe a little.
• Shut up and listen.
• Dance in my living room when no one's home.

I'll probably come up with more, but you're not supposed to take on too many resolutions or you're setting yourself up for failure. I blogged about that for the day job last week. That blog comes out on New Year's Eve. You should check it out.

Are you making resolutions? What are they?

Have a great New Years Eve and Day. Stay safe and sane.

Monkey Madness Monday: Balancing Act

"Rhesus Monkey" by James Barker

Keeping my life balanced is one of my New Year's resolutions, and perhaps the hardest one for me to keep. I have all these different aspects of my life that have to fit into the box that constitute my 15-16 daily waking hours.

I need to balance work, writing, marketing, household cleaning and maintenance, kids, boyfriend, friends and family, exercise, and the time in which my life is slowly slipping from me on my way to and from these tasks.

How do I do it? Well, right now I don't. That's the point. I WANT to, but I've never been good with balance. Multi-tasking? Yes. Complete and utter exhaustion? Sure. But balance? Nope.

Step one: Advice from my boyfriend, say no. Of course I know this, I've told myself I need to stop doing for others until I've got my own shit together. But I can't seem to do it.  Megan, come over early and help me set up for the party? Sure! Megan, could you review my book for me? Great! No problem! Megan, can I get you to read my query letter/synopsis/partofmymanuscrip/etc? You bet!

Don't get me wrong, there are people I will ALWAYS say yes too. My parents, people I'm mentoring, people who have helped me out, but I don't have to say yes to everyone, which I find myself doing more often than not. Sigh.

by David Castillo Dominici

Step two: Make a list. I need to list all the things on my to do list. And I mean ALL of them. It will be extensive, but whether it's something I need/want to do tomorrow or next year, I need to keep track of it.

Step three: Prioritize. Okay, maybe buying all new towels for my bathroom isn't as important that getting my manuscript to my editor. And perhaps that manuscript isn't as important as say, feeding my children. Or maybe it is? No matter, I need to figure out what is important and what can be put on the back burner.

Step four: As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." Uh, yeah. Okay, no try, I have to do. Without the "do", I will have spent all these waking hours on making lists and prioritizing for naught, and believe me, I have no waking hours to waste. It's going to take a schedule. Deadlines. Fortitude. Diligence. Things I try to ignore, but can no longer.

How are you at the balancing act? Do you find yourself swimming in the shallow end trying to ignore those tsunamis heading your way that are bound to drown you?

Yeah, that's me. So here I go. Wish me luck. If you never see my head above water again, it's been nice knowing you. Keep it real.

Monkey Madness Monday: 2013 Bring it on!

It's the end of another year. Yowza, was it crazy. Here's why:

1.  Debut, um, 'nuf said?
2.  Class of 2k12. One of the best things about the year.
3. My friends Gae and Annemarie visited from NY for my debut, other best thing that happened this year.
4. Had to get out of my comfort zone for the numerous school visits, bookstore and library events I participated in.
5. Marketing, ugh.
6.  Online dating, um, yeah, crazy would be a good word though doesn't quite grasp the absoluteness of the craziness.
7.  Parted ways with my agent, the quest to find a new one.
8. Both kids in high school. When the hell did I get that old?
9. Thing One driving, a blessing and a curse.
10. Awesome trips, AZ, NY, the ocean, Portland...
11. Two rewrites, two new books, no 2nd book deal. :( (not yet)
12. Insomnia. ARG!
13. Lots of good books read (okay, lots for me, which is probably a drop to some of you)
14. New BF. I think this one's a keeper. 

Now, for the resolutions. I like to compare the new with the old, see my successes, find my shortcomings, plan for the future accordingly. So here we go...


Health:
Last year's goals - exercise more, 3 days a week at least work up to 5 hopefully. Healthier eating habits. 30 minutes of quiet reflection a day.

Results -  I didn't entirely fail on my health goals. I did exercise more. I walked a lot, bought a bike and biked quite a bit when the weather was decent. I started kickboxing. I feel good about it. I'd say I did the 3 a week mostly. Didn't quite make it to 5, only some weeks. I still eat pretty healthy. Quiet reflection? Not so much.

2013 goal - Keep up with the exercise, 3-5 times a week. Keep up with the healthier eating, cut down on my wine *sheds tear*. While I didn't give myself a weight goal last year, I really would like to drop some weight. I'm not going to put a number on it, just going to leave it at that. Quiet reflection...hmmm...I think I'll try this again. 30 minutes a day, huh? I'll try.

Writing:
Last year's goals - Finish rewrite (Dissected), write 2 books. I know those are lofty goals, but I think I can do it if I set my mind to it, set priorities, and plan my time better.

Results - I finished the rewrite. I also finished a major rewrite of another book and wrote 30k at Nano toward another book. So I didn't quite reach the goal, but I still feel okay about it. The major rewrite was essentially like writing a whole new book, and 30k is nothing to sneeze at.


2013 goals - Finish nano project, write 2 more books. yes, again lofty, but if I put my mind to it, I know I can do it. I also need to make some decisions. I've been contemplating 1) Entering ABNA 2) Self publishing 3) Finding an agent. I need to shit or get off the pot. I truly believe you will see another novel by yours truly on the shelves within the next two years whether it's self published or no.

Life:
Last year's goals -Figuring out how to balance work, writing, kids, and all the other pleasures in life. Reading more, staying organized, travel more.


Results - Balance? I think I did okay, though would like to do better.
I read. I actually, without realizing until just now, reached my goal of one a month. I know I read at least twelve books. Gathering Storm, Scarlet, May B., Velveteen, Breathe of Eyre, The Wicked and the Just, Breaking Beautiful, Love and Leftovers, Hunger Games, Okay for Now, Inside Out and Back Again, Hooked...look at that. That's thirteen. :) That's all I can remember and probably all I've read unless you count self help and diet books, which I don't.
Organization? Um, I just cleaned my office. It was bad. So I'd say no. Fail.
Travel. As you see from my above list, I got some places. I'm good with it.


2013 goals - Probably the same. Keep balance, keep reading, keep organized, keep traveling.

Love:
Last year's goals - To learn to love myself unconditionally, accept the things about me that cannot be changed, and try to change the things that are under my control. To accept that I am human and therefore fallible. Try not to be too hard on myself when I fail, trust myself as well as those around me. Instead of trying so hard to find happiness, I will let it seek me out.

Results - Well, love myself? Mostly I think. Accept and change, I suppose. Too hard on myself? Trust? I still have issues I suppose. Sometimes my behavior disappoints me. I can't help it. Others? I think I mostly trust others, but at times I'm too trusting. I let people take advantage of me, my heart, my generosity and kindness.  Letting happiness find me. I suppose I may have tried to hard at first, but then I let it go. And guess what, it found me and right now at this moment on the last day of 2012 I can truly say that while life can be frustrating and stressful...I am happy.  Happier then I've been for a very long time.


2013 goals - Continue to love myself and others to the best of my abilities. Remember that I am fallible and will make mistakes, but it is just a part of life, who I am, and who I will be. As long as I keep growing and learning from the mistakes I make, it's fine. I need to continue to trust in myself and others, but I also need to be more careful when doing this and now not everyone has my best interests at heart. And I will continue to let happiness happen.

Happy New Year all. I for one am excited for the new year. There are things churning in my world that I'm excited about and cannot wait for the new year to begin. It's my wish for you that 2013 be filled with adventure, hope, bliss, and love.

Stay safe and sane. Do your driving sober. Peace.