The Life Chaotic

"I hate busy. I guess it's better than dead." ~ Megan Bostic

Yes, I'm quoting myself. Sue me.

These days it's mostly been the day job, which has somehow trickled into my life. It's because my position as Marketing Coordinator has morphed into something bigger than anyone imagined it ever being I think. I was hired for social media. To post things to Twitter and Facebook and to blog. But social media has transformed into something so big, and my job has also transformed into something more because I've taken it upon myself to learn and grow as a legal marketer, so lately, I've been having to get to work early, and stay there late, and bring it home.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. After all, I get to post crap to Facebook and Twitter. And now Linked In (and I'll eventually get to Pinterest and Tumblr and other sites when I get the time). I get to write articles and edit. I get to be imaginative and create ads like the ones below.

I get to think outside the box these days, like we started a whole new website/blog for the founding partner (who happens to be my dad) and his cat, Maxx.

I get to tinker with our website unless things get messy, like it gets hacked, then I call in the big guns. I can only do so much.

Plus, I'm on our Fun Committee, so I get to plan our office parties, and we have fun ones.

I really do love my work. And the lawyers I work with, I know a lot of people have negative feelings about personal injury attorneys, but really, these guys see seriously injured people. People who have been damaged because someone else was negligent, or careless. They believe in what they do and I believe in them.

Other than the day job trickling in to life, there's also that pesky book I'm trying to publish, one I'm trying to write, a soccer team I'm coaching, a boyfriend I'm entertaining, two teenage girls I'm raising the best I can, a garden, a house, and a body that needs to kickbox or walk a few times a week, and maybe eat on occasion.

On a separate note, Jenny Milchman, who I know through ABNA, and whose debut novel, Cover of Snow came out January of this year, is in my neck of the woods and I get to meet her tonight for the first time. I'm terribly excited.

I started her book ( I hope to finish it before tonight, but it doesn't look good) and so far it's excellent. You should go get it and read it and tell all your friends about it.

Okay, enough about me. How are you doing today? Anything keeping you away from your projects?

Monkey Madness Monday: Balancing Act

"Rhesus Monkey" by James Barker

Keeping my life balanced is one of my New Year's resolutions, and perhaps the hardest one for me to keep. I have all these different aspects of my life that have to fit into the box that constitute my 15-16 daily waking hours.

I need to balance work, writing, marketing, household cleaning and maintenance, kids, boyfriend, friends and family, exercise, and the time in which my life is slowly slipping from me on my way to and from these tasks.

How do I do it? Well, right now I don't. That's the point. I WANT to, but I've never been good with balance. Multi-tasking? Yes. Complete and utter exhaustion? Sure. But balance? Nope.

Step one: Advice from my boyfriend, say no. Of course I know this, I've told myself I need to stop doing for others until I've got my own shit together. But I can't seem to do it.  Megan, come over early and help me set up for the party? Sure! Megan, could you review my book for me? Great! No problem! Megan, can I get you to read my query letter/synopsis/partofmymanuscrip/etc? You bet!

Don't get me wrong, there are people I will ALWAYS say yes too. My parents, people I'm mentoring, people who have helped me out, but I don't have to say yes to everyone, which I find myself doing more often than not. Sigh.

by David Castillo Dominici

Step two: Make a list. I need to list all the things on my to do list. And I mean ALL of them. It will be extensive, but whether it's something I need/want to do tomorrow or next year, I need to keep track of it.

Step three: Prioritize. Okay, maybe buying all new towels for my bathroom isn't as important that getting my manuscript to my editor. And perhaps that manuscript isn't as important as say, feeding my children. Or maybe it is? No matter, I need to figure out what is important and what can be put on the back burner.

Step four: As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." Uh, yeah. Okay, no try, I have to do. Without the "do", I will have spent all these waking hours on making lists and prioritizing for naught, and believe me, I have no waking hours to waste. It's going to take a schedule. Deadlines. Fortitude. Diligence. Things I try to ignore, but can no longer.

How are you at the balancing act? Do you find yourself swimming in the shallow end trying to ignore those tsunamis heading your way that are bound to drown you?

Yeah, that's me. So here I go. Wish me luck. If you never see my head above water again, it's been nice knowing you. Keep it real.

Full frontal

I'm using it as a metaphor (is that the right word? I can never keep them straight.) for the unveiling of  truth about what I've been feeling lately. It will seem like this all has nothing to do with writing, but in the end it does.

Call it whining, call it self pity, whatever, but I've had all these feelings bottled up and I'm tired of feeling them.

Day job. It's hard. I've taken on more than I was ever supposed to. There is really no title or job description for what I do. I should be making the kind of money a professional makes, but I don't. However, I do enjoy it, so there's that.

Relationships. Me and the BF broke up. I did the breaking up though I liked him a lot. I had my reasons. I thought we could be friends, then I saw him, and I realized it was too soon because it's still very raw with me in fact I'm tearing up right now as I'm writing this because I really didn't want to let the relationship go, but knew for my happiness I had to.

Health. I've been exercising. I've been riding bike, playing soccer (I did pull a muscle, but getting back into it slowly, been stuck playing goalie), and walking a lot. I've found that I dislike running greatly (trying to stay away from the "H" word). I may try it again, but truly I can't stand it. I eat well. Pretty well. I like pizza every once in a while. I like to go to wing night, but I eat salads every week day for lunch, fruit, yogurt for breakfast. I never eat chips or other crap, I don't drink pop.

Money, let's just say ugh. Looking for more work or that second book deal.

I have been a little self destructive lately. I won't elaborate, but every so often I get in a funk, and I stay there until I feel like my own life is out of my control. And it doesn't matter if I'm trying to do good things for myself, as well, the bad always wins out. Because of this, my writing suffers.

I've tried to work on my revisions every day, I hate not seeing the stars on my calendar, and I've done okay, but I'm not very motivated and I've not done enough. I've been so tired. Sometimes I feel like the writing world is leaving me behind.

I started fresh Sunday though. I upped my game. I'm being good to myself, going to take time for just me (and my kids, can't ignore them I guess, right :)). I'm walking longer, (not riding bike right now because of a faulty tube, which I need to take back but haven't had time and can't afford to buy new tubes right now). I'm going to look at the positive in the things I do and try to ignore the negative.


And I'm going to finish these damn revisions and get it submitted. I'm going to get this second book deal.

*breathes deep, does Tadasana pose*

F³A: I've not written in weeks...

I always tell myself, whatever you do, never stop writing. Even if you get stuck, even if it feels like work instead of your passion, yadda yadda yadda. But lately, with this rewrite, I've felt so unmotivated. Plus, I've been so busy with other life stuff, kids, house, day job, exercise, general laziness, I just haven't been able to get myself to open that manuscript.

Work has been so hard lately, and mostly I sit in front of computer all day, the last thing I want to do is get back on the computer. I was determined to write yesterday. I had a coffee date with a friend, and had brought my laptop with me to write after our date was over, yet by the time it was, I was fading, my brain was void of all activity and I went home and slept beneath the sun, which felt really good by the way.

I did give my friend 20 pages of the manuscript yesterday, hoping that when I get her feedback it might get me excited about the project again, but I don't know if that will work.

I honestly don't know what to do to get myself to open up that manuscript. Any suggestions?

Totally forgot it was Friday. Almost forgot the Scribbles.

Random iPod shuffle song:

Book of the Week: Breaking Beautiful by Jennifer Shaw Wolf. I've not read a mystery in a long time and I'd forgotten how much I love them. I love sitting on the edge of my seat, not being able to wait to turn the next page, not wanting to put the book down. Jennifer's book was not different. Awesome.

Netflix of the Week: I've not watched anything, not a movie, not a show, nope, not even the Olympics. Not a minute open for TV.

Quote of the Week: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill

Always Learning

If there is one thing I always try to do, it's to keep educating myself on things that interest me. These things will normally help me in my day job and my writing life.

This week for instance, I'm taking a two day class. One day I'm doing Photoshop, one day InDesign. If you're at all familiar with those programs, you'll know  they're from Adobe and they can be quite complicated. The classes are actually  meant to be five days in all, but since I know a bit about both, I've compressed them into two. The place I take them gives you good support after the fact, DVD, web stuff, books, 6 months of access to the videos. So I figured it would be cool.

I'm really trying to learn design and web stuff for my work to make their print ads and website look awesome. It's a slow process, but I think I'm doing a good job.

I do the same with my job as an author. And truly, many of these courses I take for my day job I can apply to my writing job as well. I like to create some of my own designs. I've done (and am currently redoing) my Never Eighteen site for instance.

But it doesn't stop there.

The business of writing is a learning process.

Number one, we can always become better. It's one of the pieces of advice I always give. Always strive to be better. We will never be perfect so there is always room for improvement.

Learn to thicken your skin. You'll need it.

I'd tell you more, but I've already said it at Writer's Digest. Chuck Sambuchino was kind enought to host me on his Guide to Literary Agents. Find out about the Seven Things I've Learned So Far.

Even though I know I've learned a lot along the way, and I continue to educate myself, I still have a long way to go.