I am not sucking at life

No, I'm not. I'm drinking coffee with creamer. It's not the best tasting creamer I've ever had, but it has natural ingredients. And I'm not blending my coffee with coconut milk and cinnamon in my Magic Bullet. Why am I telling you this? Because yesterday was my last day on The Whole 30.

If you know not what the Whole 30 is, visit the link above. If you're sluggish all the time, want to change your relationship with food, want to look younger, want to sleep better, want to lose a little weight, you might want to give it a try.

How I feel after having done the Whole 30...

Food: Food and I are friends again. For awhile we had this weird relationship, It was mostly good,

sometimes I cheated on it. Sometimes I ignored it altogether. Other times my love for it was so intense I had to have it all. Also, I found myself having a quickie for dinner way too often.

Now I eat every meal, 3 a day. Sometimes I have a snack in between lunch and dinner, or after dinner if my stomach is a little grumbly. I'm cooking again. Sometimes I still need the quickie, but instead of turning to my longtime friend, Popcorn, I'll grab leftover meat (I always make enough to have leftovers) cook up some sweet potatoes and throw a salad together. Okay, it's not the 2 minute meal I've grown accustomed to, it's more like 30 minutes, but it's healthier, it's delicious and it treats my body good. I think I can handle an extra 28 minutes for that.

I buy most everything fresh except my coconut milk. I don't mind reading labels now, but if I buy fresh, I don't have to. I'm getting my fill of veggies and fruit, which I'd been neglecting for a while. I'm eating all good fats, almonds, ghee, avocado, olive oil. No more butter or margarine.

Alcohol: Alcohol and I used to be tight. You see, with me, alcohol is that friend that pesters you into hanging out until you cave. I mean, you love it, it's that friend you can lean on when you've had a hard day, or been given some bad new. Sometimes you'd just like to say no, but it always seems to be hanging around. Sometimes it overstays its welcome. I put alcohol in it's place. I made it go away until I'm ready to be friends again. Do I miss it sometimes when it's not around? Sure. But I'm confident that when we become friends again, I'll just see it socially and not be so dependent on it all the time.  Besides, I have a new friend that treats me better - sparkling water.

Sleep: A few years ago, sleep decided it didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I mean, it came around from time to time, but not as much as I wanted it too. Sleep and I have improved our relationship. Now it comes around every night and stays until morning. It usually leaves early, but I'm okay with that. Usually I've had enough to the point that I feel good and am ready to face the day.

Weight: My relationship with weight has been a rollercoaster ride in the past. Lately however, it's like I'm stuck at the top of the hill and no matter what I try, I can't get down. The Whole 30 helped me get down the hill. Just a little hill, but I'm hoping to get down a bigger hill soon enough until I can get off the ride for good. I don't think I'll share how much weight I've lost since the program isn't about that, it's about everything else. I'll just say, I look better and my clothes fit better. If I'd exercised more (I do, but I need to step it up) I'd probably have lost more. I actually had the meat guy at the grocery store flirt with me yesterday. It's been awhile since someone flirted with me.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: I've never liked CFS. Our relationship is parasitic. CFS is the friend who is always complaining and always miserable and after you've been with them for a while you just want to crawl into a hole and die. This relationship has also improved. Am I cured? No. But I get through the day without a nap (which is BIG for me). My energy level is higher during that time and I'm more productive than I have been in a long time. It still hits in the early evening though, 7 or 8 o'clock. But I'm okay with this because it's better and I can just crawl in bed with my phone or a book or my computer to watch Netflix.

What comes next?

Happy Hour. That's right, tonight I celebrate this achievement because to me, it's big. Don't worry, happy hour is not going to get me back into my old habits. I like the way I feel, I like the way I look, I like the way I eat. I will keep eating this way for the most part. I don't miss cheese or really any dairy (except my coffee creamer) for that matter. I'm not missing grains. I may have a glass of wine or a drink from time to time. And hey, I'll probably eat some popcorn, but not as much as I did at one sitting and not for dinner.

What am I hoping to gain from all this?

I'm hoping to shed a few more pounds. I'm hoping to have the energy to get to the gym regularly. I'm hoping to get another book published. I'm hoping to be more productive around the house and in the yard. I'm hoping I can be there for my kids and my parents when they need me.

I'm hoping this lasts a lifetime because I feel and look better than I have in years.

30 days of thanks: day 22

I'm thankful for sleep.

When I get it that is, which seems like a while now. A good night's sleep anyway.

I can't remember the last night I had a good night's sleep. Every night for the last few weeks I've been waking at 2 or 3 in the morning. Some nights I get back to sleep, some I don't. Like last night I didn't. I've been up since approximately 2:30.

And no, I did not take the opportunity to write. My brain is too mushy to do that.

I could blame the Mexican food last night, but then what is the reasoning for the last 90 days?

I long for a night where I fall asleep at a reasonable hour and don't wake until the next morning. Sleep in, even.

Until then...insomnia and I will be buddies I guess.

I want to mention one other thing, I'm in our local paper today with 3 other authors gone indie. Love if you'd take a read.

Okay, it's Friday, small miracles. Here are the Scribbles...

Pandora Queue song: a shuffle station with Mumford and Sons, Imagine Dragons, Black Keys, and more...Stone Temple Pilots, Big Empty.

Book of the Week: I've not started reading anything yet, been too busy, but going with Catching Fire in conjunction with the movie release. If you've not read the book, you should. You should read all the books. I truly loved all three of them.

Netflix of the Week: I started watching Orange is the New Black. LOVE!

Quote of the Week:

F³A: Aaaaah, sleep I have finally found thee

Sleep finally found me.  I'd been running on fumes for the past week at least.  4 to 5 hours each night.  Lack of sleep for me comes down to this:

• Apathy
• Lack of motivation
• Delirium
• Irritation about everything
• Inability to put words together to make a sentence
• Inability to know good from evil
• Lack of brain function
• My alter ego Mrs. McCrankypants emergers
• Moments of complete and utter road rage
• My kids thinking I'm psycho

Last night I got 8.5 hours.  No one will die today.  How did I get through it,  you ask?  Thing one and Thing two, as well as their friends who I love dearly, while driving me nuts from time to time, dealt with me pretty good and made me laugh.  Plus, someone who cares about me enough to come over and deals with my shit and does things for me and basically makes me sit, breathe, and feel sane.

Friday Scribbles

Christmas song of the week: Baby It's Cold Outside.  I like most versions, this one happens to be by Willie Nelson and Norah Jones

Book of the Week: The Wicked and the Just by J. Anderson Coats.  Don't usually read historical fiction, but started it this week and so far, it's amazing.

Movie of the Week: Casablanca.  I had never seen it until last night.  It's amazing.  I never really thought Humphrey Bogart was handsome either until I watched in.

Quote of the Week: "I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? " ~ Ernest Hemingway
Ernest Hemingway

Have a good weekend, and get some good sleep.

F³A: Sigh, ugh, meh.

I've not been blogging as you may or may not be able to tell.  I've been too tired.  For the most part, I've been too tired to do anything but type and sit on my ass.  Apparently, according to my doctor, I'm exhausted.  They did some blood work to check my thyroid and iron levels.  Won't here back until mid next week.

I am one of the few people on the face of the planet unable to take iron because it makes me sick.  I have tried to get it through food, but obviously (if that's my main problem) it's not enough.

I could not even get out of bed this morning.  My kids are back in school (teacher strike over) and I had to find rides for them.

Hiring my girl Friday has helped, but it's not enough.  I'm going to also hire someone to clean for me.  I'm so tired.

Hence, the lack of blogs, hence, why I'm not at work today, hence why I haven't been able to exercise.  I did force myself onto the soccer field last week, but haven't really moved since then or before then.  I bought a yoga dvd.  I thought it would give me some balance and exercise at the same time and I could do it even if I was tired.  I haven't touched it.

So, I wait.  And sleep.  And lay around.

Send some good vibes my way.  Some good energetic vibes, please.

On a happier note, me and my girls are having a girls night tomorrow night.  No friends over, just the three of us.  We'll make dinner together and watch Bridesmaids.  Can't wait to see it.

Friday Scribbles (is that what I called it last week?)

Random iPod Shuffle Song: Tighten Up, Black Keys.  Love it.

Movie of the Week: Bridesmaids of course.

Book of the Week: Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley and Henry Lodge MD.  My dad bought this for me ages ago.  I think it's time I read it.

Quote of the Week:   "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion...I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.


Happy Friday.  Have a good weekend.