Yet Another Relationship Rant, as told in words and ecards

You guys like these, right? At my expense. :)

I'm frustrated. I think it's finally done, but I can't help but be frustrated. I don't think he'll read this, but I almost hope he does to see it from a different angle.

After the fall out and defriending some time passed and the ex boyfriend wrote on Facebook. He told me about a new job he got, told me I'm beautiful, wanted to talk. Then he texted and said he was going to be in town and could he take me to dinner, AS FRIENDS, his words, not mine, but I would have insisted it be that way anyway. Since he was trying to take a step toward friendship, I agreed. If he were just some schmuck I'd met online, I'd say, screw you, but I've known the guy 40 years. Our moms our friends. He's friends with my brother in law.

1) He's an hour early.
2) He asks not once, but twice, do I want to go out after dinner for a drink, both times I say no, I'm
tired.
3) He hands me the bill and asks me what it says (it is dark in the restaurant, but the waitress gave us a flashlight for our menu, he could have asked for it for the bill as well instead of showing me how much he paid).
4) When he dropped me off, he followed me into the house under the guise of washing his hands and then...wait for it...tried to kiss me.

I held up a HELL NO hand in front of my lips and told him he could have a hug and showed him out.

He texted me a couple hours later and told me I looked gorgeous and he had a good time. I wrote him back, thanked him for dinner and told him it was lovely, then thought to myself, why am I letting him off that easy?

I wrote again telling him I was NOT happy about him trying to kiss me to which he responded, " I said you were gorgeous. Sorry I'm a man."

Sorry, I'm a man.

Wow. Cop out much? Disrespectful much?

I told him I just want to be friends to which he replied he was hoping it could change some day.

He texted me later that night asking if I was awake, which I ignored.

He texted me the next day asking how my soccer team did.

He texted me the day after that telling me to check out a song. Then later that night with the gall to ask if I had dinner plans to which I simply answered, "Yes."

Nothing for four days, then Thursday he texted to ask if I still had his key, which when we broke up he told me to throw in the garbage.  Why would I have it? It felt like a ploy. Why did you ask? I write.

him: Because I liked seeing you.

me: So, what, you wanted to come get it so you could see me? Or to make sure I could still get in if I wanted to?

him: Just save it.

me: I told you I threw it away.

Friday I told him he needed to back off, that if we were ever to be friends, which he proved he could not be yet, he needed to give it time and space.

His reply, I have to let you go Megan. I get it. Take care.

Done deal, right? Oh no.

Sunday: Where are you watching the game Megan?

me: I'm at the ocean.

him: Lucky girl. When are you getting home?

me: Tomorrow.

him: May I call you?

me: I'm actually doing some writing. And is this what you consider backing off and giving things time and space?

Now this is him being passive aggressive:
him: Work on your writing Megan, have a good day.

To which I respond:
Not an answer, therefore I can only guess that I will hear from you again tonight or tomorrow. You are beginning to frustrate me.  Last night I told you to back off, today you're asking where I'm watching the game and when I'll be home. If you ever want to be friends again you have to back off.

him: I don't wanna be friends. Were we before that night??? (I'm assuming he's talking about the night we ran into each other and started dating, or who knows at this point)

me: I thought we were going to try to be friends. If not why are you still contacting me. I don't want anything else from you.

I'm starting to realize this:

I haven't heard back, so I hope that put the nail in the coffin. I feel like a heinous bitch, but seriously, at this point, I felt like I had no other recourse. I almost felt harassed.

And now this is how I feel:

Right now I'm focusing on my writing, my kids and hopefully getting past all this tired to get some exercise.  The weekend at the ocean (aside from all the texts from the ex) did me some good.

Dissected comes out in less than a month and I've already got a couple people reading Girl in Motion for me as I continue to write on A Tattered Life.

I'm keeping on keeping on so that I can get back to this:

F³A: The costly learning curve of indie publishing

You people who are considering indie publishing are very lucky to have me, yes you are. I'm like your trial run through this crazy process. You can live vicariously through me while I make the mistakes you don't have to when you're ready to take the plunge.

Some of the mistakes  have been costly, but I've learned my lesson. Here is the big one: As I've told you, I'm publishing through Createspace and Lightning Source. Createspace does offer expanded distribution through Amazon, but with Lightning Source I can offer retailers a bigger discount, which will incline them more to carry my book if requested. I can also have it returnable. Many bookstores won't carry it if it's not returnable. Also this way Dissected will also be available for libraries and schools to purchase.

You don't have to do this of course. I know writers who use Amazon's extended distribution and are perfectly happy with it.

Here are the mistakes I made:

1) Not ensuring that the book was edited properly before formatting and uploading. Truly, this was mostly just laziness on my part, but I've learned my lesson for sure.
2) From now on, everything will be set up and completed on Createspace before moving on to Lightning source and setting a release date. Why? I will tell you. It's free. Yes it's all free up to the point where you order your proof copies. Lightning Source charges for every resubmission of a digital upload. $40 to be exact. Also, where Createspace's proofs are just under $4, Lightning Source's are $30. And they look exactly the same. Exactly. So there's that.

So there you have it.
 
One more piece of advice, your cover will come back darker than it looks on the computer.

If you don't want to mess with much of this stuff yourself, I think I've mentioned, my friend Rachel and I are starting our own business, Creative Chaos Media. We don't have prices listed on our site yet, but feel free to contact us.

The finish line is fast approaching. The date is set. Last things...get proof copies from Createspace in mail today and make sure cover is all good. Interior is now perfect or as perfect as it's going to be. Resubmit interior to lightning source and finish setting up distribution. Make sure everything online is set to go for November 12th. 

Send proof copies to a couple bloggers who have requested it, Angel and Lea (I hope to hell they like it).

Design and order postcards to be sent to schools. libraries and bookstores. I did this way earlier with Never Eighteen, but I've kind of been overloaded this time and I'm glad I didn't since I changed the book cover.

Order new bookmarks with new cover design.

Design buttons and order.

Contact a couple bloggers and see about a blog tour.

Send out invites for and promote the launch.

I think that's it, but I'll have to brainstorm.

Anyone in the area is welcome to come to the launch party. 

Tuesday, November 12, 7 pm
Garfield Book Company
208 Garfield St S #101, Tacoma, WA 98444 

It's Friday, so I bring you the Scribbles...

Pandora queue song: Hang Me Up To Dry by Cold Water Kids

 Book of the Week: Joe Peace by friend Kerry Dunn. I read an excerpt a couple years ago and had done a video review of the except for the ABNA contest a few years back. I remember it being funny, witty and gritty. I started reading the book and my memory served me right.

Netflix of the Week: Do yourself a favor and catch up on the Walking Dead. Season 4 starts Sunday. Can't wait!!

Quote of the Week: "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." ~ Albert Einsten

Happy Friday, have a good weekend and go make some fun mistakes!

Cover Frustration!!

So, my first cover was too dark. The back of my second cover was a little off kilter. Then somehow the front of the third time around got this strange border around it. I'm not really even sure how that happened. I put it right into the same layout I used the first two times. Sigh.

I tried something different this time. Instead of using InDesign, I downloaded a template from Createspace for my size book. We'll see how that goes.

What really really sucks is that every time I change the digital copy on Lightning Source they charge me $40 and their proofs are $30. And I clearly wasn't thinking last night or I would have only changed on Createspace, ordered new proofs as they charge nothing for changes and their proofs are just under $4.

Ugh, sometimes I'm such an idiot.

Time is dwindling down to my release date and I don't have my cover right. I want to pull my hair out and scream and throw a tantrum on the floor. But I don't because I'm a lady. Why are you laughing? I am!

We'll see how this next proof goes. I've expedited the shipping so I have them by Friday.

Wish me luck.

Don't forget I have a preview of the first chapter on Createspace. Feel free to go and leave a review. Also enter to win a copy on Goodreads.

Monkey Madness Monday: I did it

I set a date for my release party. November 12th. I was afraid if I didn't set it, I would never set it and never put the book out. So I emailed Garfield Books and just did it. I'm waiting to send out the invites however until I get the last round of proof copies. I'm not going through the book again, mind you, but I want to make sure the cover is okay. The last round it was a little kittywampus.

And now I'm terrified.

I don't know why, like I've said, I've received really good feedback.

So when I get these proof copies (I think there are four in all) one is going to Garfield Books, and I've promised two of them to two bloggers. One I've promised to a guy who works in the movies. I've also sent two digital versions to another couple bloggers. I was going to put it up on Netgalley, but it's a little too costly for me to do that right now.

However, if there are any more blog reviewers out there who are interested in reviewing Dissected, email me, and I'll see what I can do. It's a little different this time around because of course, I have to pay for proof copies.

Don't forget, there is also the preview up at Createspace (updated version, I accidentally put an old, uncorrected one up the first time), feel free to review it for me,  and you can enter to win a copy on Goodreads.

For more information about Dissected, you can visit my website...

Oh yeah, here's Monday's Monkey...

F³A: I'll rest when I'm dead

People talk to me about my schedule quite a bit. They tell me I'm crazy, I need to slow down, I take on too much, spread myself too thin, while that's all well and good and at times I agree with them, I don't see any other way to survive.

Seriously, what other options do I have.

I've already talked about this in my relationship rant earlier (that was this week, right? Last week? Who knows anymore?)

I'm busy and I think I've finally figured out my afternoon sleep problems. I just have to get into the doctor and get it taken care of. I'd talk about it, but it's a little *cough* personal *cough*. But I've researched it and think I've solved the overtireness (yes it is a word, I just made it up) that will keep me from having to nap two to three hours a day so I can be more productive.

The important thing is, I always make time for me and for my friends. I make time to have fun and to live my life. It is not all about work.

AND this week has been a little weird and hellish, up and down. Lots of spending time in the rain and bitched out by a bitter, insecure woman, unfriended and blocked,  given a marriage proposition from across the globe, asked on a date by an ex boyfriend, and felt abandoned and lonely. However I've also felt flattered and sexy, accomplished a lot with my book this week, have witnesses some soccer wins.


I'm happy it's Friday and I'll be spending the evening with friends watching my brother's band, Smilin' Jack kick some serious funky ass while shaking mine. And if you watch The Voice (I don't) Stephanie Johnson who was on Tuesday night will be singing with them (she does some times and has an amazing voice, if you don't watch The Voice).

Wow, I think I just ranted again and had no intention to. I guess this week was mostly a ranting week. Oh well. Shit happens. Don't forget, to pre-order my friend Ian's book, enter to win Dissected, and read my preview (I realized my old one was from my proof copy and there were mistakes so I uploaded a new preview, should be no mistakes this time). Oh, hey and it's breast cancer awareness month, so go get a mammogram and be nice to your ladies.

Scribbles of the Week:
Pandora Queue Song: Such Great Heights by Postal Service on Postal Service Radio



Book of the Week: Going to go with Deep Six by Ian Thomas Healy. Like I said, go order it. Oh, and did I mention, these are not your children's superheroes.

Netflix of the Week: Breaking Bad Season 5. Had to get all caught up so I could watch the finale last Sunday. None of it disappointed. One of the best. Shows. Ever.

Quote of the Week: "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." ~ John Lennon