Monday, February 21, 2011

Monday Morning Blahg: Weekend Vamps

Okay, first off, I forgot to have someone put my garbage out today so if someone would run over there and do it, that'd be fantastic.

Two, I have to mention these ladies because they made me laugh this morning.  Deb and Barb over at the blog, The Middle Ages posted some ass shaking videos along with Gae Polisner.  Hysterical.  You HAVE to go watch. (Gae is trying to talk me into doing it to.  I may or may not)

Okay, so I've been in Forks since Saturday.  Saturday we ventured out to the store, Dazzled by Twilight, which was packed with Twilightaholics.  They had EVERYTHING.  Slap a picture of Bella on some coffee, you know had Twilight Coffee.  Print something on a Bic, you had Twilighters.  Slap a pic of Jacob on a bandaid box, you had a . . . wait for it . . . Wolfpack of bandaids.  Some of it was ridiculous, but they had cardboard cut outs, and t-shirts, and the coolest dolls which I'm sure cost a mint (didn't bother checking)  I left with a Team Jacob t-shirt, a Vampire at Heart t-shirt, and the book The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.  Which I'm now seeing is $7.92 on Amazon and I paid $13.99 >:(  But I bought it in Forks (that's how I'm rationalizing it anyway).

Yesterday we did our own TwiMoonLipseDawn tour.  We started in Forks, some things are not as they appear in the movies.  Just a warning.  The Forks High School sign is standing on its own amongst a severely Under Renovations school.   We got lost but finally found city hall which supposedly sported Chief Swan's uniform, but we didn't go in to find out.  And down the street from that was the Cullen house, which wasn't really the Cullen house, but said Cullen on the mailbox.  We could have peered in the windows and seen some staged Twilighty stuff, but didn't bother.

We drove by Dr. Cullen's parking spot at the hospital, and The Swan's house, which looks a little different than you'd remember from the movie.  We also hit the Chamber of Commerce which is home to Bella's truck(s).  The one from the movie is a broken down old red truck with a bashed in back window and a weird looking bed.  The other is more the style from the book, it better shape, but still.

Then we were off to La Push, we'd gotten a Twilight map and were heading down highway 110 to see, Jacob's house, the Vampire baseball field, and the beach.  We stopped at 3 Rivers Resort where is home to the sign for the Treaty Line.  There's also two little extras, a cabin that says Jacob's den on the side and a Vampire Threat Level sign which read 'danger' oooh.  Scary.

We didn't realize we'd already passed the baseball field until we were, well, way past it, so we continued to the beach while looking for Jacob's house.  Well, Jacob's house was supposedly in two spots, one the Chamber of Commerce said was it, and another one.  But as we were heading to the beach and restaurant on the river (suggested by the guy in the souvenir store) we are suddenly attacked by a werewolf.  He jumped right out in front of the car and just stood there.  I had to yell at Heidi or she would have hit him.

Yes it is a werewolf
He then barked at us and ran around the car then took off.  We followed because it seems like that's what he wanted.  He led us to the restaurant we were looking for, which had closed down (as many other things in Forks which were started because they thought Twilight would be a big draw for the Timber town, which it is, but not as much as they thought).  And then he led us to the beach, which was gorgeous.

On our way out of La Push, we searched for restaurants because I was so hungry I was about to drain Heidi of all her blood for nourishment.  What we found instead (people in La Push apparently don't eat out) was the house that the Chamber of Commerce said was Jacobs, which was nothing but a mobile home on the side of the road.  Um, what?

We headed back the way we came to find the baseball field.  Which we did.  There was a sign that read, Vegetarian Vampires at play.  Very cute.  We got to drive right into the field.

Heading back to Forks, we passed a red house and I said, "Well THAT looks more like Jacob's house than the other."  I turned to look at it and it had a sign reading JACOB BLACK'S VACATION RENTAL.  I made Heidi flip a Uie and we stopped.  There was a motorcycle out in front of a mail box that read Black.

What you do when you're bored in Forks.
When we got back, we poured a glass of wine and went Vampire hunting, which proved to be a silly and fatal idea.  Heidi is now undead.  I've had to fend her off a few times from trying to bite me.

That's all she wrote of the Twilight Adventures.  Thanks for reading.  Catch you on the flip side.

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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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