Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Writing Wednesday: Sad

     Just a warning, this is an R-rated excerpt.  Oh, it's also unedited, keep that in mind.  Oh, one more thing, my poem, Me, will be posted on Cari's Book Blog today.  Cari is a rockin' review blogger and all around great girl.
 
      There was a silent pause.  “Well, Jordie won’t be here until around six.”  Jordie Hicks, Haleys’s new boyfriend.  Didn’t really see it myself.  He was a jock.  A tennis player to be exact.  Short, blond, and freckled.  Haley probably could have had any guy she wanted if she tried. But she didn’t.  Try that is.  She was perfectly complacent following David and I around, getting the occasional drunken mash, not going for what she really wanted (which unfortunately was my brother, Bryce, which I totally didn’t get since he was a freshman to our juniors), and just dating any schmuck who’d ask.
     She was really pretty too, and I’d tell her all the time, but I don’t think she believed me.  She was tall and thin.  I envied her hair, long dark loose curls.  I think she had no confidence in her looks and herself in general because she lived in a house of assholes.  Her step-mom was the most superficial phony bitch on the face of the planet.  To her, everyone is worthless unless, that is, you made bank and looked like you came straight out of an Ambercrombie catalog.   Elitist bitch.  Every time I go to their house, she sizes me up, as if I might have improved since the time before.  And she never says, hello, it’s always just, “Sydney,”  making me sound like something disgusting she can’t wait to spit from her tongue.
     Haley’s dad was a workaholic and pretty much lived at his office or his girlfriends.  I didn’t even know Haley had a dad until about two years into our friendship.  We were sitting around doing homework when this dude walks in without a word and opens the fridge.  I was sitting there staring, wondering, WTF?  I looked at Haley, but she didn’t seem concerned, so I said, “Who is that?” 
     She glanced up for a split second and said, “My dad,” then went right back to her homework.  He grabbed something from the fridge and left.  He didn’t say anything to Haley.  Not hi or how was school or who’s your friend.  Nothing.   I speculated once if he just hated his existence outside of the office and slutty bartender he was fucking, or if he was actually mute.
     And then there were her brothers, four to be exact, one step, from the bitch’s first failed marriage, and three half, the product of the union between her dad and step mom.  The older one was a complete waste of oxygen.  He blew up his girlfriend and their two year old son in their meth lab a couple years earlier.  Now he’s coming down from the addiction, and spends his days on the ‘rent’s couch crying, watching reality shows, smoking cigarettes, and drinking a bottle of Jack a day.  Prick is too lazy to even buy us booze when we need it.
      Not much to say about the three younger brothers, except they’re so hyped up on sugar, video games, and inattention that they’d have to make up a new acronym for whatever their diagnosis would be.  And all three think Haley is a disease.  It’s no wonder Haley always wanted to hang out at my house.  Well, all that and of course the fact that my brother lived there.

14 comments:

  1. Megan, I am totally stealing "This is an R-rated Excerpt" as the title of my next book! Haley, btw, is so real in such a short space... love this!

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  2. I LOVE this and can't imagine having four brothers! ;) I felt like i was there while reading this.

    ecwrites.blogspot.com

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  3. aw. thanks you guys.

    Randy, feel free. I like to warn my readers, just in case they're offended by a little bad language, sex, and violence. lol. (and if they are, they're really probably not reading me anyway, right?)

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  4. The voice is here fucking awesome. Very authentic. Yes, I said fucking, trust me, it applies.

    Obviously you need to clean up a few things like tense and such, but it's just a draft, and off to an excellent start.

    Well done.

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  5. Wow, thanks so much Matthew! I really appreciate the kind words. (and it rocks that the word "fucking" applies. LoL.

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  6. I love it! Can I have more? lol.

    Good job, very well written. I can't imagine having four brothers since I already have two and a sister.

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  7. Yay! I LOVE it, Megan!! Can't wait to read more, and I fucking mean that!!

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  8. You all rock!!! Every single one of you is making my day!!

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  9. Ok everytime I read your excerpt there is that AHH!!! Where is the rest moment! Seriously!

    Also thank you so much for sharing your poems on my blog. I have the final words "Because what you see is not what I am not me" Seriously LOVE!

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  10. Thank you Cari. I appreciate being given the opportunity to share my poetry as well as my fiction. You are wonderful to all of us writers.

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  11. This is intense, Megan! :) great job. :)) Can't wait to see what this leads into.

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  12. I like the way you express yourself... I wish I can do the same. Nicely written!

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  13. Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment, Joan. I really appreciate it.

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My Dad. He's awesome.

John Messina, Personal Injury Attorney

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