Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thought Provoking Thursday: Angst




Angst. noun -  an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety.  There is a reason I call myself the angsty writer.  It's mostly a joke, but it's also a very true statement about myself.  Couple that with being emotionally driven, and you have, at times, a force to be reckoned with.  This is not always a good thing.  This means that sometimes, even if I sleep on it, I will still (re)act on it.

The last couple days have been rough.  I'll try to explain best I can without spewing out my own vitriolic diatribe.  I felt wronged. I felt the need to defend myself.  And then I found myself in a corner, feeling attacked on many sides even though there were many in that corner with me.

Sometimes people open their mouths before they know the whole story, sometimes I think people just don't get the conflict, and sometimes people just disagree with you, or are defending the people in their own corner.

I felt on the ropes.  My writing was being attacked, and you know what? I'm a writer, it happens, I may bitch a little, I may get down, but I don't get sour grapes.  I know not everyone is going to like what I write.  But it wasn't just that my writing was disliked.  I also felt like I was mistreated, then, in my opinion, and others would say different, I feel like my character was attacked and my dedication to my craft was attacked.

This angsty, emotionally driven person has a hard time just letting it roll off her.  So she speaks her mind.  She tries to stop herself, but sometimes fails.  I don't feel bad for defending myself, because I feel like I was right in doing so and believed in what I was saying. I just don't like how far it went.

You may judge my writing, but you may not judge me or my  journeys if you don't know me. 

That is the last time I will speak of this.  Sorry if I sound like a lunatic.  I promise, I'll be more "normal" (normal for me anyway) tomorrow.


Hey, don't forget to check out the Write Hope auction, there are some really great donations to bid on, money going to Save the Children Emergency Fund.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

~Megan
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