F³A: Life's unfairness and how it makes me want to punch people in the face

So, Thing One tried out for select soccer. And you know how I've ranted about select soccer before.  This is the team she was on last year.  They have an A and B team.  Last year she made the B team, which we were disappointed with, as in our personal opinion she was better than a few other players who did make it, but had the pleasure of being pre-acquainted with the coach prior to try outs, i.e. favoritism.  I LOVE favoritism (note: sarcasm)

So, anyhoo she tried out again this year, and once again they have an A and B team, and she has been kicking some ass on the soccer field this year at practices, on the school team, and in indoor.  I would venture to guess, in her last few years of playing soccer the girl has scored twenty to thirty goals between the three teams.  But guess what?  Again, she didn't make the A team. 

This frustrates me for a few reasons.  First, again, she deserves it.  Second, she was one of only a couple forwards trying out for the team. Third, coach was scrambling for players so he invited some girls from another team that folded to come to the practices and all of them made the team.  He invited them to practices AFTER try outs were already held.  THEY WEREN'T AT THE TRYOUTS AND THEY MADE THE TEAM.  AND, my daughter scored two goals against them in indoor last week.  Fourth, it just sucks and made my kid cry. 

To add to it, one of the girls on the A team last year whose dad helps coach the team told Mary she had made it.  That was just wrong and stupid and hateful.

Now, I don't really care which team my girl plays for as long as she plays.  I love watching her on the pitch.  Her passing is brilliance, her crosses, near perfect, and of course I am full of pride when she scores, and love to see how happy it makes her.  I'm upset because she's upset.  And I REALLY don't like it when people hurt my kids.

I'm so mad, I don't even care if they read this blog and he will be getting an email from me today.

Okay, my rant is over for now.  Since this is the Friday Free For All I'll leave you with this weeks favorites.

Current song on my iPod: Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead

What book is on my nightstand: Greyhound by Steffan Piper though I'm currently still reading Alchemy by Mike Wood.  These should both be on your bookshelf.

Current watch: Dexter Season One.  Watching it on Netflix.  Liking it.

Quotes of the week:

"I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?" ~ Bill Watterson

"There is always inequality in life." John F. Kennedy

The elements: Fire and My Mother, these two things are not related.

Fire.  The last element.  Probably my favorite.  Yes, I know, it's not a necessity for my existence, not really.  But I love heat, being warm.  I love on a cold morning sitting in my living room drinking coffee in front of a fire.  I love on a cool summer night sitting in front of the chiminea, Rusty building a huge fire to keep us warm.  I love, after a night in front of a campfire, the smell of my clothes and hair.

I would much rather be too hot than too cold.

Enough about fire.  Here is a shout  out to my mother in honor of mother's day.  She's the most beautiful person I know.  She's kind hearted and generous.  She's intelligent and funny.  And she can be a little kooky. ;)

She's had her share of hardships.  And yes, she's fallible, we all are.  But her imperfections and her trials in life make her who she is.


And here's a shout out to my girls, who I usually call Thing One and Thing Two here, but whose real names are Mary and Rachel. Here they are to the left with my grand niece Ella Bee.

Thank you for making my job as "mom" so easy.

Thank you for making me laugh by being goofballs and calling me things like "vampire mom".

Thank you for liking my writing.

Thank you for getting decent grades. (though they could be better)

Thank you for always wowing me when you're on the soccer field.

And thank you for still wanting hugs and kisses even though you're in middle school.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.

Ciao,

Megan

Top Four Reasons I'm the Coolest Mom in the World: #1

It's all in the attitude.

I don't look my age, I don't act my age, therefore, I don't feel my age. I'm a friend to my kids, but not one of those "my kids are my best friend" moms. I dish out as much discipline as I do friendship.

But, I goof around with them. I tickle them. I hug them.

I act like I'm going to beat them (they think this is hilarious)

I do goofy stuff like dance in the living room and kick box in the kitchen.

I act crazy.

I play soccer with them, and when I get injured I play it up good. This always cracks them up.

I sing loudly to the radio.

I give them an hour of independence every day after school.

I feign crying, screaming, and death.

I give them money for Starbucks.

I talk to them honestly about boys, alcohol, drugs, and sex. (and am told really gross stuff in return. I have mentioned Icy Hot before, right?)

Basically, I treat them like they're human. I do little things every day to make them smile. I do big things to heal their hearts, or take their sadness away, or fill them with love.

And they may think I'm the coolest mom in the world, but I think they're the coolest kids.

(nano words, 9,436)

Top Four Reasons I'm the Coolest Mom in the World: #4

Okay, seriously, my thirteen year old daughter told me how cool the kids at school think I am, so I was trying to figure out why. Why am I the coolest mom ever? What is it about me that appeals to teenagers.

This comment was made on Halloween, so my # 4 is this: When the teenagers come to our door, we don't give them the little tiny candies you get in the 10 pound bags. We give them full size candy bars.

You should see their faces when I hand them a big Milky Way or 3 Musketeers. They light up. They become children again, forgetting all their teenage problems. Okay, maybe that's a bit melodramatic, but they do love it.

So, if you ever want to get in the good graces of the teens in your neighborhood, give them big candy bars on Halloween.

Hell, I wonder what they'd think of me if I handed out the King Size.


(2,097 Nano words)

Top 4 Worst Experiences of My Life: # 1 Near Death

There is a quote from Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul that I will never forget (don't judge me, lol).

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

This is so true. Your children are so susceptible to illness, so vulnerable to harm. You worry about them all the time, especially when they're not with you, especially when they're young.

This brings me to the worst experience of my life, almost losing one of my children. Rachel was born in January, and if you have a child at that time of year, you should not expose them to the outside world for at least six weeks to three months. There is just too many viruses floating around. I didn't know this at the time.

At five weeks old, I noticed she didn't seem to be breathing right. I took her to the doctor. He told me she was sick, that I should just watch her breathing and if it gets worse, to bring her back in. Never, never, never did he say she could die (which is why he wasn't our doctor for very much longer).

A couple days later, her breathing became more labored. I took her into the ER. I brought my dad with me because in his line of work as a personal injury attorney, he is familiar with medical terms, and I, being the worried mother, didn't think I was going to be able to comprehend anything anyway. The doctor explained that she had RSV, which is respiratory syncytial virus. Check it out here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respiratory_syncytial_virus. He said all the beds at the hospital were full, if they had any, he would have admitted her. He told me to watch her breathe and if her respirations got below a certain amount per minute, (I don't remember the exact number now, it was eleven years ago) I should bring her back in.

Oh my God. All I did for the next day or two was watch that girl breathe. Some time later, I can't tell you exactly, maybe a day, maybe two, her respirations came with an alarmingly long pause between, and it looked as if she were gasping for air, and it pained her to breathe. I called my dad to take us to the ER again. He nearly killed us trying to get there quickly.

They took us in immediately, but told me to wait outside the room because it would be too disturbing to watch. My dad went in with them. I could kind of see through the curtain, they were moving around quickly, working on her, Rachel was screaming, I would find out later they were clearing out her lungs. It happened very quickly. She was admitted and taken up to the ICU.

She looked so fragile hooked up to machines, with tubes sticking out of her every which way. The ICU doctor told me that RSV is deadly for infants. They attribute it to many SIDS cases. He also said if I had let it go that night and not brought her in, she would probably be dead. I stayed with her as long as I could stay awake, watched them work on her. There was a very nice attendant, Steve, who claimed her as his during her stay. He came in every so often and had to pound on her chest with this little pink mallet like thing to clear her lungs. He taught me how to do it, since I would have to once I brought her home.

They gave me a room to sleep in that night, and the next day she was taken out of the ICU. We were at the hospital for five days. I was there around the clock, except for a couple hours when my mother relieved me so I could see my husband, and 18 month old.

When she was released, I had to keep up with the chest pounding, and they gave us a nebulizer, which had to be used on her every few hours for months. I can't remember how long now, maybe up to a year or so. I guess many children with RSV develop asthma later, luckily Rachel was not one of them.

I will always be grateful to the wonderful staff at Mary Bridge Children's hospital for being so clear about Rachel's illness, and the care they have her during her stay. Rachel is now a happy, healthy child because of them.

Thanks for reading my top four worst experience. I appreciate the comments and questions I've received, and also thank you for sharing your own experiences. Next week the top four will not be so dismal. I haven't decided yet, let me know if you have ideas.

Tomorrow is a free for all, come back and check it out.

Kisses,

:*

Megan

Top 4 Worst Experiences of My Life: # 2 Depression

I'm sure many of you can relate to this.

Just less than a year ago, life started becoming overwhelming. Too many things at once, ya know. Soccer four nights a week and all day Saturdays, plus managing my younger daughter's team. People asking me to make videos, host parties, do them favors, constantly. I mean, I don't work, I've got all the time in the world, right? Right. Of course my inability to say no didn't help in the situation. And in all likelihood, I've probably suffered from depression since about 1986 without being treated, so there's that. Anyway, so I'm juggling, kids, and husband, and house, and family, and friends, and soccer, and, and, and guess what, I drop them. Not one or two of these proverbial balls, but all of them.

First I stopped answering the phone, except for my husband. People, all of them, were driving me crazy. I was frustrated, irritated, and moody. I couldn't remember a day that I hadn't cried for some reason or other. In my mind, I knew whoever was on the other end of the phone line was going to want something from me. I just didn't want human contact. I wanted time to think, to contemplate my answers. I only communicated through e-mail and text. After one morning of five phone calls in a row, unanswered, I finally had to text my friend and tell her I was no longer taking phone calls. I thought this was perfectly normal. Even Rusty was telling people to just leave me alone, don't call, don't ask for anything, just leave me be. Some listened, some didn't.

Then I stopped everything else. I did little to manage my husband's soccer team, stopped volunteering at the kids school, stopped going anywhere, stopped doing anything for anybody. I couldn't even make simple decisions, like what to cook for dinner. So, I also stopped cooking, cleaning, filing paperwork, including some bills (yikes). The only thing I continued to do was write, which was good because I could take every emotion I was feeling and put it into what I was working on. Some of it turned out depressing, some angry, but in my opinion, it all turned out good (not perfect, but good). One result was my new novel Mending Fences.

January came around and I wanted everything to end. I'm not talking suicide. I'm not that brave, or cowardly, however you look at it. I mean, I just wanted everything and everybody to go away, including my family. I felt like a lousy wife, and an even worse mother. I just wanted to be alone. Call it what you will, rock bottom, nervous breakdown, midlife crisis, it's just a label.

My family was not too happy about this of course, and I was pretty much forced to get my mind straight. I was truly surprised when my doctor told me this was not normal behavior. LOL. She also told me I more than likely suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, of which apparently Washington state has an alarmingly high rate (can you say rain?).The course of action I took is not important, unless you want to know, I will be happy to share it, let's just say I'm better. I'm not perfect, but I'm better. I'm still my normal angsty self but I'm more productive, my mind is clearer, and I don't cry every day. These are all good things.

If you can relate, feel free to comment. If you have questions, please question me. If you think I'm crazy, I'd love to hear from you too.

Stay tuned tomorrow for my # 1 Worst Life Experience.

Dedication To My Mother

My mother is one of the most beautiful people in the world. Everyone says that, right? Yeah, but I'm serious. She's beat adversity and come a long way to become the person she is.

She was born in Oklahoma, the daughter of an unwed teenager, and though her mother told her who her father was, she was never sure, nor did she ever have a relationship with the man.

She grew up in an abusive household, mostly raising her three younger brothers. Four kids, three different fathers.

She married young, more than likely to escape, and ended up having to escape that as well, which I thank her for. For if she hadn't, she would not have met my dad. I do thank her though for the daughter she brought from that marriage, who I have never thought of as a half sister.

After divorcing, she still watched out for her brothers, raised her daughter, and worked hard to survive.

She met my father waiting tables at the New Yorker.

There are so many things about my mother that I love. I always loved her warm hugs. She was and still is a great consoler whenever I am physically or emotionally hurt. She has such a generous heart, she gives until there is nothing left, to whoever needs it. She is a great philanthropist, having always donated her time and money to charity.

So Happy Mother's Day Mom I hope that I have turned out to be half the mom you have proven to be.

To all the moms out there, have a joyous weekend, you deserve it. Motherhood, although one of the most rewarding, is of course, one of the most difficult jobs out there.