Time to be thankful

I'm not going to do the usual "what I'm thankful for" post. This has been a hard year for me. I've faced a lot of adversity, some I'm still working through, and so, I want to see the positive side of these hardships I've been through this year.

And first off, I'm going to say to my Facebook peeps, this does not mean I'm back on Facebook. This automatically loads to Facebook from blogger. I don't even have to go there. In case you were going to accuse me of being weak and coming back. :)

1. Parent illness/aging: I still have my parents. I know a lot of people my age have had one or both of their parents already pass. And I do think about that. All the time, really. I actually do. I'm lucky. I know this. I can only think of one other friend that has both her parents. So, though we've seen some hard times this year, I'm so thankful they are still around.
2. Break ups: I had a hard break up earlier this year. It caught me by surprise;
   
   truly, I wasn't expecting it. I'm thankful that it happened though, because he was awesome. That time also made me reflect on myself, because since my divorce, I'd not been broken up with. It made me remember that I'm fallible and maybe it was time to regroup and focus on things other than dating.
3. School problems: My daughter's school pissed me this year. There were emails passed back and forth, meetings. I'm still not entirely pleased with the situation, but if I want it changed, I need to take action, which I'm going to do. But for the most part, I'm thankful for both my daughter's education. We are lucky to have the resources we do in the United States. Those resources may not be perfect, but I'm thankful my children have access to them in order to learn and grow as little human beings and to choose what they want to do with their futures.
4. Children: They face challenges through their lives. They challenge you. They
   
   cause trouble, drama, stress. Children make messes, cost money, don't contribute. So many reasons to dislike the wretched little things. Yet I am so thankful for these little souls I've brought into the world. They're my light. My life. I live for them. Without them, I would be nothing.
5. Friendships: I've lost one. For now at least. I've learned a few things along the path from this fall out. About me and about her.  I'm thankful for that. I also know now that I have things to reevaluate, and that will be a good thing. It doesn't matter how much time passes before our lives come back together, if they do. I will take that time to take control of some things in my life and reel them back in. I think the break in this friendship will be good for me.
6. Health: I've been tired, achy, I've had a swollen eye for most the year. I've had
   
   to sleep, I've not been able to exercise, or keep a clean house, or a nice yard or garden...but I'm grateful to have a diagnosis. To have a goal finally. To finally see if this can go away.
7. Things I can't talk about: Let's say they're stressful and can be ugly. But the ugly things in life, they educate you, they make you strong. They mold you. It's the hardest things that make you who you are. I don't dislike me. I need some work to be sure, as I'm sure most people do. I've gone through some hard stuff these last few years, but the person that has come out the other end...she's not so bad.

So, that's most of it. These are the things I've struggled with and the positive side of them. I don't want to dwell on the past or beat myself up about things. It's time to move forward. Get healthy, get control. I'd like to write, work, play, in a healthy, atmosphere that is conducive to they way I want to live life - with passion, adventure and wisdom...and maybe just a tiny bit of chaos.

I started last night, reaching out to people I've not talked to in a while, at least some of them, by text, wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Enjoy your friends and family see the positive in the negative and the light in the dark. Start the next year off on the right foot.

#HighSchoolTaughtMe

This hashtag is trending on Twitter today.  I like to scroll through and read what people write under the trending hashtags, sometimes I like to participate. As I read through #HighSchoolTaughtMe, I grew very sad about our youth's perspective on high school, and their lives in general.

Little do they know that when they respond to these hashtags, they are giving us a  glimpse into their view of the world. And though it's only 140 characters, it says a lot.

This is what some of them said about #HighSchoolTaughtMe:

• that many teachers do more of the parenting than some actual parents do.
• to cheat in exams.
• that even the ones you look out for the most could turn their back on you.
• it's okay if you're unhappy and completely miserable, so long as you have good grades.
• that people will like you only if you're hot & popular.
• some people are only going to be nice when they need you.
• that most teachers don't care, they're just there to get paid.
• that if you dont have stunning looks or you're not good in a sport than you're a nobody.
• that I don't have a right to my opinion.
• that sophomores post nudes.
• how to hate people.

This is sad, yes? It seems to me that as adults we've gone wrong somewhere to make our children feel this way.  Behave this way. Perceive their world in this way.

Don't get me wrong, They weren't all negative, there were a few positives, like these:

• that we should be happy,we need to be happy, we deserve to be happy .
• that no one's opinion but your own is important in the end.
• to be responsible and free at the same time. How to have fun yet how to not fail my parents.

Um, yeah, the positives were hard to find.

I can't say I blame these kids. In many ways, our public education system is struggling.

Teenagers deal with crap at school every day - drama, peer pressure, violence, bullying. Top that off with those that have the added pressures of sports, music or other activities, then homework on top of that. It can be stressful. Think how you felt at that age, how all your problems seemed like the end of the world. I know from personal experience that the school systems don't know how to handle some of today's teen problems.

In some ways, schools feel like prisons, with on sight cops, drug testing, drug sniffing dogs,  students wearing badges or picture IDs, random sweeps for drug paraphernalia, security cams. I'm not saying these are bad ideas. I'm sure in some areas security like this is necessary and I'd much rather have my kids be safe than me be sorry. But I can understand how a child could feel like an inmate in a school that takes those times of security measures.

Then we have the state of the facilities themselves. 44% of public school principals reported that problems with the school buildings themselves interfered with student's education. Heating and air condition, which I can attest to. I remember when I used to volunteer in the elementary school, the rooms were either freezing or like a sauna, no happy medium.  Size and configuration of the rooms also appeared to be a problem. And then there are the portables. These seem to be a major problem, from noise control to air quality to their overall physical condition, these seem to be a major interference in the education process.

I'm not going to blame the teachers here. I believe teaching is one of the most unappreciated professions on the face of the planet. Yes, there are bad ones. Yes, some don't know their subjects. I read that less than 15% of Math, English and Science teachers have neither majored in nor received a certification in those subjects. However, more than half have a master's degree or higher.  Not bad. Pupil teacher ratios are also good. Luckily we have more teachers in the country, so we have about 16 students per teacher. YAY!

Getting back to these unhappy children...especially the one who stated teachers act more like parents than parents...sigh...there are the kids that deal with shit at home. I know kids with parents who are addicts, who live with other family members. Kids from broken homes, which as mainstream as it is these days, still affects them profoundly. You don't know what else goes on behind closed doors, they could be dealing with abuse, whether it be verbal, emotional or worse.

We need to protect all these kids -  these kids who have it bad at home, these kids who have it bad at school, who hate the learning process for one reason or another. We have to let them know that it's not that bad. 


There are over 3 million high school dropouts annually. That number has gone down in the last few years, but still, 3 MILLION!?! 

 These kids won't go to college. Many will be teenage moms. Half the people on Welfare are dropouts. These are also our future criminals! 75% of crimes are committed by high school dropouts.

This is our responsibility as a society isn't it? To make sure these kids graduate? The signs are all there. These are the kids who skip school, who  do poorly in class, who get in trouble, who have obvious trouble at home.

What can we do? According to the Parents Association we can do this:

• Arrange for help making up missed work, tutoring, placement in a special
  
  program or another school.
• Help with personal problems and/or arrange for professional help.
• Help them schedule work and family obligations so there is also time for school.
• Help them understand the choices they make - marriage, parenting, failing, behavior, suspension, expulsion - and how those things can disrupt their ability to finish school.
• If a student becomes pregnant, help them find school and social programs to help meet their needs.
• If all else fails, help them find a GED program and encourage them to stick with it until they finish.

But here's where I started.

‏@MeganBostic 

#HighSchoolTaughtMe Never live in fear of failure, true friends are the ones that are there when things suck, and nothing lasts forever.

Mom Fail

So my girls and I laid around all day Sunday doing absolutely nothing because we had Monday to get the Christmas decorations down, clean the house, and finish up homework.

Yesterday rolled around and that's exactly what we did. I took down decorations, Thing One cleaned house (all the messes were from her New Years party, eight teenagers somehow turned into twenty), and Thing Two was finishing up her homework.

Well, sometime between 1:00 and 2:00 pm, Thing Two says, "Mom, did school start today?"
Me: "No, it starts tomorrow. Why?"
Thing Two: "Because I just texted a friend and asked what he was doing and he said he was at school."
Me: "Really? Well maybe he's just hanging out or something."

Thing One walks up the stairs as I hit the computer to check the school calendar.
Me: "Oh my god, you guys were supposed to start today."
Thing One: "I was wondering why everyone was complaining about going back to school today on Facebook."
Me: "You didn't think to mention this to me earlier?"
Thing One: "I thought they were crazy."

Um, so I pondered if my kids were confused or playing me. I'm going with the former, giving them the benefit of the doubt, because how on earth could their mother be wrong.

Er.

Hopefully this will be my only #momfail story of the year, but I highly doubt it.

Thursday

I've got no pithy title for Thursdays anymore.  My brain is scattered with everything going on right now.  This time of year always makes me a little crazy, and with the release of Never Eighteen in a few months, um, crazy has turned into hysterical.  School, soccer, drivers ed, book everything, revising Sad, planning a release, marketing.  Too much at once.

I took three naps last week.

I don't nap.

No, seriously, anyone who knows me can tell you I'm not a napper. I hate napping because there are other things I could be doing.  But I think my body was rebelling against the perpetual motion.  It screamed, "Slow the f#@% down!!!!" 

So I hired a Girl Friday.  Yep. I did.  Can I afford it?  Probably not, but I need to keep my sanity.  And I need to get things done.  But when you have a day job, then have to drive your kids various places until 7 pm with soccer games on the weekend, time is fleeting, and I'm too tired to work on book stuff.

She starts Monday.  I've hired her mostly to drive my children around, but she'll also do light cleaning, yard work, errands etc, etc.  I'm pretty stoked about this.  It almost makes me feel important.  Almost, but not quite.

We'll see how things go.

High School? Already?

So, Thing One left for halls of high school this morning with her cousin and friend by her side.  And while I didn't cry, I did feel like I needed to take a few Xanax, knowing how difficult the high school years can be, and how many things I forgot to tell her before she started.

We've already had the drugs/alcohol/sex talk.  But her father and I both failed to have the older-boy-with-a-car talk.  Meaning, we forgot to tell her they were off limits.  And she's a very VERY cute girl, so it's only a matter of time before some suave upperclassman sees the cutie soccer player and wants a date.  Not going to happen.

High school also makes me face my mortality a little more, well, mostly my age.  I'm getting older, no matter how hard I try to fight it.  How much longer can I get away with mini skirts and high tops before I stop looking like "Cool Mom" and start looking like someone desperately trying to cling to their youth?

And then I have to face the fact that I won't be seeing her much anymore.  With sports and social activities, high school is the time where the kids become more independent and hate being home. sigh.

I will say that she's a good responsible girl who I completely trust. She knows the order of priorities, school, soccer, social life.  She's never been in trouble and she talks to me about pretty much everything, so I think if issues arise, we'll be facing them together.

Ciao,

Megan

Top 4 BEST experiences from school: # 1 Graduating from College

This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it was for me. It took me three schools, five jobs, one baby, and ten years to complete. Let me give you a run down.

1987 attended University of Portland majoring in communications, with aspirations of being a journalist.

Partied too much, decided I just didn't know what I wanted to do, came home, worked as a Deli clerk in a grocery store.

1988 went to Tacoma Community College for one quarter. Was not dedicated at all, received the worst grade point average I had ever gotten.

1989 went back to the University of Portland, more serious this time, majored in business, wanted to own my own business. Couldn't cut the math. Didn't know what I was thinking.

Timeline is sketchy, I worked in a video store, jewelry store, and govt. office, for the next few years. All at the same time for part of it. No school.

Eventually quit the video store and the jewelry store and went to work full time for the Pierce County Auditors Office.

Went to night school at University of WA-Tacoma, a liberal arts school, taking two classes a quarter which was difficult because I had health and emotional problems at the time.

Married in 1994.

1995 I realized I hated my job. Took a year long leave of absence to finish school.

Got pregnant. Worked in my dad's law office while attending school.

Finally walked down the aisle, eight months pregnant and received my diploma, however, I had three classes to finish up, which I did from home after the baby was born. Never went back to the Auditor's Office.

A rocky road for sure, a degree as one of my boss' called is as useful as tits on a bull, but it's mine. I earned it.

If I could do it all over again, I don't know if I would change anything. Things that happened during that time helped shape who I am today. If I had gone all four years straight I might be in a different place, married to a different man, and had his kids instead of the ones I have. Deep, huh? ;)

So that's it, the top four BEST experiences from school. Tomorrow's a free for all. Catch you on the flip side.

Kisses
:*
Megan

Top four worst experiences in school: # 3 MB

MB is a set of initials for the grossest, meanest, filthiest child in all of Skyline Elementary School. A freckle faced kid, with flaming red hair, this boy tortured me from kindergarten until he left the school, I think in 4th grade. And I was lucky enough to have him in my class just about every year.

He made me cry so hard in kindergarten that I passed out.

He knew things no elementary school child should know, and was determined to share his knowledge with me. (I shudder thinking back, and wonder what the hell went on in his house).

He spit on his desk and licked it up.

He invited me to a birthday party once, and I was distraught over it. I needed an excuse. Luckily, I remembered I had Bluebirds that day. I even squeezed into my too small Bluebirds dress to prove I had something else to do. Toward the end of the day, a message came over the loud speaker. "Bluebird troop (pick a number, I don't remember) has been cancelled for this afternoon."

He walked by me and said, "I guess you can come to my party now." I cried all the way home, and probably passed out because I do not recall attending his party.

A year after he left our school, he happened to be in the neighborhood playing with the neighbor boys, who were also friends with my brother. So, unfortunately, they ended up at our house in the backyard. My mom told me, "Why don't you go outside and play with them?" Yeah mom, great idea!

Although I didn't want to, I did anyway. First thing that kid says to me is, "God, you got ugly." Ran back in the house crying. Yep. I'm sure I have other fond memories of MB that I have repressed for obvious reasons.

I hated him. I'm sure he turned out to be a nice guy. On second thought, maybe not.