In Sickness and in Health

O.M.G. I'm actually going to discuss writing and books on my blog today. I don't think I've done that in awhile because my life has been in such chaos lately, but yes, here I go.

Tonight I head up to the Association of Writers and Writing Programs Conference (AWP), which happens to be in Seattle this year, as tomorrow I will be on a panel titled, In Sickness and in Health: Writing about Illness and Loss for Young Adults.

"Sick - lit" as it's been so charmingly nicknamed has been quite a hot topic in the last year and the subject of controversy. Some people think we as writers have a cavalier attitude toward the dark subjects such as death, suicide and self-harm, and we are doing teens a disservice by writing about these subjects during a time when they are more apt to go through them.

Yet others believe that teen should be reading about the issues that they are sure to relate to at their age, that reading isn't purely about escapism, it's also about thinking and feeling and having characters you can relate to.

What is your opinion on the subject?

I think you know where I stand as someone who has written about death and
self-harm. I also have an unpublished book about a school shooting. Life isn't always pretty and it doesn't always have a happy ending. Are we doing our teenagers a favor by shielding them from the hard things in life? Things they will have to face, whether it's them, one of their friends or family members.

Shit happens. You can't hide from it, so why not face it head on.

If you're attending AWP, my panel is from 1:30-2:45 at the Washington State Convention Center, Room LL5, Western New England MFA Annex, Lower Level.

Other panel members are Roberta Borger. She is the one who assembled the panel. She is pursuing my MFA in Creative Writing at Chatham University. Selene Castrovilla, Jolene Perry, and Katherine Ayres.

The World is not Perfect

Sometimes when things are going good, the universe needs to balance itself out remind you that life cannot be perfect.

My daughters, I know they are not perfect, but they are beautiful and talented in their own ways and they are doing the best they can in school. They are weird and funny and inappropriate most the time and I love them for it.

I have a boyfriend who brings me flowers once a week and rarely lets me pay for dinner. When my vacuum breaks and he can't fix it (and he can fix mostly everything) he brings one to my house and tells me it fell off the back of a vacuum truck, then proceeds to vacuum half my house to check it out.

The work I do at my day job is awesome. I get to write and be creative and work part time so I can also write and be creative at home and try to continue to work on my goals of becoming a full time fiction writer some day.

I live in a lovely home, in a quiet neighborhood with a big yard, close to the girl's school.

Yes, that is all good. But then there are faulty memories and car accidents in life. There are delicate situations handled improperly by people who are supposed to care.  There are those who do not know when to shut their mouths and leave well enough alone and those who do not speak up when they should.

Balance. The Yin and Yang of life. It's necessary I suppose. Without it, what would we
be? A bunch of vapid, wastes of oxygen with no personality or purpose?

The balance, the struggles, the hard stuff, it challenges us, molds us, gives us character. I've faced many struggles in life and I wouldn't be who I am today without them, and I kind of like the me I am right now.

Also, adversity, it is a test of our strength. How much can we take? How much are we willing to take for the ones we care about, because sometimes the challenge isn't about us, sometimes it's in the name of our parent, child, or a complete stranger. Sometimes we have to be strong for someone else.

I'm not really a religious person, but all this reminds me of a quote from Mother Theresa:

So, I say bring it world. I thank you for all the good things I have, but I'm ready for the challenges too. I've been through worse. I've felt pain, I've seen death, I've hit rock bottom. It may be hard, I may cry, I may yell, but I'm pretty sure I can handle anything that comes my way.

Never let the bureaucracy get you down

The last couple of weeks I have found myself dealing with one of our local bureaucracies. I suppose, outside government, I've never really thought all that much about policy and practice, red tape, and bureaucrats, getting the run around and discrimination because, well, I haven't had to. It's never really applied to me.

Now it has.

I'm not going to get into the specifics of my problem, only that it has had a great effect on me (and not only me, but we'll just talk about me today). It's been frustrating to the point that it's driven me to tears. It's affected my focus, therefore the work at my day job, my writing, also its been physically draining so I've been fatigued and my body aches. It's made me take time out of my day to try to solve this problem that should have never occurred in the first place. It feels like my soul has been sucked right out of me.

Some of my questions have been skirted around rather than answered. They act like they are trying to help, but it feels more like they are just pretending in order to appease me.

When this first happened I searched their policies and found nothing that warranted their actions.   I called them on it, quoting their own policies as well as Washington State legal code and demanded that they fix what they'd done. I was told they would find the policy and show it to me, but their hands were tied because  it was the call of the higher ups, but they would confer with them and get back to me.

When my answer came back, I was told that, well, it's not actually policy, but more of a "practice." To me this means there is nothing in writing to allow/excuse what they've done. They also said they would still try to work with me though and that a "support team" of "very important people" who are "very busy" doing "other things" are going to make the time to have a meeting to try to solve my problem (yes that's basically the way it was told to me like I'm supposed to be thankful).

The problem is they still aren't seeing the big picture I've been trying to point out to them. 1) this should never have happened in the first place. 2) they should have a set policy for this type of thing because according to them it happens more than you'd think. 3) their "practice" in dealing with this situation is uninformed, ridiculous and I would think discriminatory and illegal.

Even if their "support team" comes up with a solution, I'm told "these things take time." My resolution is already coming up next week, so putting all these talking heads together seems to be futile, and like I said, just a way to appease me.

I've decided to make it my mission to force these people to install a policy so this doesn't happen again. I don't want anyone else to have to go through this.

Those who give you strength

I have been tested much in the last three years, but I think none as much as I have in the last three weeks. I cannot give you all the details of my struggles, as some are very personal and some involve people I love very much. But today's blog isn't really about that it's about those not directly involved in those struggles. It's about the people in life that give you strength.

It's so important to have people in your life to lift you up when you're feeling low, to pick you up when you've fallen, to keep you going when you think you can take no more.  I'm very lucky to have people like that in my life.

Anyway, I just want to dedicate today's blog to those people and thank them, and hope that I too am that person to them.

You know who you are.

 

Here are the Friday Scribbles for your entertainment...

Pandora queue: Landon Pigg, Falling in Love in the Coffee Shop. LOVE

Book of the Week: Allegient by Veronica Roth. I like it, not as well as the first two, but still...it's getting better.

Netflix of the Week: I started watching Sons of Anarchy again. For some reason I stopped right before the first season ended. I just lost interest. When I say right before, I mean at the very last episode. When I started again, I didn't know why. Pretty good.

Quote of the Week: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

I am not a social media addict...

At least according to this article here. I would say at one time in my life there was a certain writer's forum I could not take my eyes off of, *cough* ABNA *cough* and perhaps there was a time that Facebook meant more to me than oxygen(I mean, who really needs to breathe, right?), but hey, I've found there are other things in life than virtuality (yes that is a word, I'm pretty sure I just made it up) and reading random posts from people, most of which you'll never meet in real life (though I will say I've been very lucky to meet some of my virtual friends in my reality too).

Here is my defense to this social media addiction blog:

1.  I only keep one Twitter app on my phone for my ONE Twitter screen name...okay, admittedly I have three Twitter screen names, but the others different aspects of my life that are rarely touched.
2. I don't ALWAYS check myself in when I go somewhere. Sometimes I forget.
3. My children don't always have to tell me not to Tweet the crazy things they say. I'm more of a Facebook user.
4. Posted on the gyno's table with feet in the stirrups? I think not. Though the dentists chair isn't out of the question.
5. I've never shed a tear that Pinterest wasn't around before I got married. I've always prided myself on being a great party-thrower. Although now, I admit, with all those pictures, it's so much easier to steal other people's ideas.
6. And I'm not into taking pics of my food, especially since I eat popcorn for dinner about three nights a week. I've also never heard of Diptic. Of course, there are all those selfies...Diptic...Where have you been all my life?
7. Instagram as a verb? Please! Of course. And Facebooked, Twittered (I make up all sorts of words for Tweeted), Tumblred...any of them can be turned into a verb.
8. Yes, I own multiple chargers. I have one at the office, one in my car, one
   
   plugged into my computer, one in my bedroom, one that roams...you can never be too sure when there might be an emergency update to post. I know where there are outlets, AND wi-fi. I do not see this as a problem.
9. My mom has never called to see if I'm okay because I haven't Tweeted. She doesn't even KNOW how to Tweet. However if my dad doesn't see me on Facebook...
10. An Android user as a wannabe...pish posh.
11. Oh yeah, those iPhone users are snobs. Any time I complain about my phone it's always, "You should get an iPhone. They're perrrrrfect." Douchebags.

Pttthhhh. See, totally not an addict. I can take it or leave it. Quit any time I want.

Have a great day. I have to go check my feeds on Facebook and Twitter. And I should probably update my Tubmlr, and maybe post some pics on Instagram, and perhaps...