Now I really know...

I mentioned some health issues a couple weeks ago, and though it's not life threatening and other people are dealing with way worse things, for me it's very debilitating. I am a person that is always going, always doing, has 10 things on my plate and a bucket list a mile long. I don't have time for my body to shut down. But that's exactly what it has done.

So after a millions tests my doctor diagnosed chronic fatigue syndrome. Not satisfied with that diagnoses, because you see, there's really nothing you can do about it except wish it away, I went for a second opinion  - to a naturopath.

I swore the heavens opened up and I heard choirs of angels singing because after reading my paperwork and talking to me for a few minutes she seemed to know exactly what was wrong with me. And the thing is, there's a chance I can make it go away. I may not have to just learn to like myself this way and learn to live with it.

Adrenal fatigue. There's some controversy. I've read up. Medical doctors don't really believe in this diagnosis. It's not accepted medical diagnosis because it hasn't been scientifically proven. Doctors are concerned the real cause of the symptoms may not be found and treated correctly. But like I said, I have been tested for everything and they found nothing. So this makes sense to me.

You see, adrenal glands regulate stress (physical, emotions and psychological) through hormones adrenaline and cortisol, and if you have prolonged stress, those glands may not be able to adequately meet the demands of that stress.

You have no idea how much is involved with stress regulation.

• Immune function
• Muscle tone
• Blood pressure
• Sleep
• Production of energy

Etc, etc, etc...


Adrenal fatigue could be caused by one big emotional crisis or repeated or constant stress. For me it is the latter. Adrenal fatigue causes

• Lack of energy
• Back pain
• High blood pressure
• Decreased immunity
• Hair loss
• Sleep Problems
• Skin Problems
• Increase in allergies
• Weight gain
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Anger
• Loss of focus
• Forgetfulness
• Crying spells
• Relationship conflicts

The list continues. I've highlighted all the symptoms that have affected me the last almost three years.

I'm super excited about this new diagnosis because I see an end to my malady. also now understand why I've been sleeping during the day, why I haven't been able to finish the novel(s) I've started. Why I can never find the right words.  Why all of a sudden I have high blood pressure when I never have in my life.

I'm excited to write more, get active again, have a clean house, and have more time to spend with my daughters and scratch things of my bucket list.

I highly recommend if you think you have something like chronic fatigue or Fibromyalgia you go see a naturopath and see if you don't have adrenal fatigue.

If you're interested, here are some articles I found with more info:

Eighteen Overlooked Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue from Natural News
Recovering from Adrenal Fatigue from Natural News
Adrenal Fatigue: Myth vs Fact
Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue from Women to Women. This one has an Adrenal Health Assessment you can take as well.

I am but a speck...

This morning I went to the funeral of one of my best friend's fathers. I remember him back when we were in high school and college as a commanding presence.  Boisterous, he would fill up a room when he walked in. I knew he was a Teamster.but other then that, I didn't know him at all.

As I listened to people talk about him, I learned more about the man behind the dad I met a few times. The boss that fought for employee rights, benefits and pay as a member, as secretary/treasurer, as vice president and president of a variety of Teamster committees, organizations, unions.

I learned about the philanthropist who donated his time as a board member of the Boys and Girls Club and the United Way.

I learned about the uncle, friend, father and brother who played football and baseball liked to fish and shoot guns by listening to stores, looking at pictures and seeing how many people were there to honor his life in the church this morning.

On my way home I received a text informing me that my father had been in a car accident and was at Tacoma General Hospital. Someone had ran a stop sign and plowed into the driver's side of his car at 40 miles per hour.

When I arrived at the hospital, my family was awaiting the CT scan results. My dad was in pain, he wore a neck brace and had a hematoma on his arm, but things could have been so much worse.

If things had been different, I don't think my dad would regret leaving this place as is, much like my friend's father. He has, in many ways, built a dynasty. His law practice has been up and running for over 25 years and he is one of the most respected attorneys in Washington State.

He went into this kind of law to defend the defenseless. His clients mean something to him. Many of his cases have helped make roads safer, the government more accountable, and helped numerous families put their lives back together after serious accidents.

He is the most generous man I know, willing to give to others, even to his own detriment, even if it means in the long run, he will receive less. He not only gives his money to numerous charities, but has helped many kids go to college, and has donated his time and energy to charities and organizations, politics and justice.

He worked numerous jobs to be able to get through college and law school, he was in the seminary, has traveled every state in America and all over the world, and wrote a novel. He is a lover of football and baseball, has supported just about every local sports team at one time or another including the Mariners, Seahawks, Rockets, Sabercats, Rainiers, and more.

He worked hard but still made us breakfast in the morning and didn't miss our soccer games, baseball games, and school concerts. He's been to his grandchildren's soccer games, football games, choir concerts, school auctions, band gigs, and plays.

He is kind and funny and intelligent and you don't have to take my word for it. Anyone who knows him will tell you in the legal world, his family, the community and his friends. He has kept the same group of friends since he was a child and made many more along the way.

These kinds of events, funerals, close calls, they make you think about life, mortality, your place in the universe...

Compared to these two men, I am but a speck. I look at their lives and I say to What have I done? In comparison, not much. I complain because I don't have time. Maybe time is subjective. Maybe I don't have time because I'm spending it unwisely. Because what I've thought is important, is in a word, not. I've  thought about doing some of the things these great men have done, but I've never actually done them.
myself:

I don't want to be a speck. I want to make a mark.

Less think, more do.

Living for the Moment

Have you ever read the book Never Eighteen? You know the one, where the teenage boy is going to die, so he makes this bucket list of things he wants to do and see, and all the people he wants to visit to remind that you only get one shot at life and you better make the most of it?

HAHAHA yeah, that's my book. I know. But ever since writing that, and more than that, ever since my divorce, I really believe we should be living our lives that way, because yeah, one day it could all end we could be too sick or injured, or worse yet, too dead to do the things we still want to do in life.

I want to keep writing, keep publishing books. It's why I've chosen the indie route. I don't want to wait another two to three years to see another book on the shelf. I want to travel and if I have to live a little beyond my means to do it, I will. I want to have fun and enjoy life. I want to entertain people, throw parties.

I WANT TO LIVE!!

I want to go places I've never gone. I've made a rash decision to go to Vegas next month. Vegas has never been on the top of my list of places to go. So why? Because I can. Because I have a little money in the bank. Because I've never been there. Because someone asked me to go. So why not?

Life is short. In a short few weeks I have seen seen someone commit suicide, known of three terminal cancer patients, and one heart attack. Some day this could be me (not the suicide, but the other things). And think about the bombing in Boston. Those three people that died, they were young. Very young. There is no way they saw that coming.

I'm going to live life for today and try not to think about what comes tomorrow. I've let myself get depressed and stressed again, and I'm thinking this is just the mentality I need to bring myself out of the slump again.

Maybe I'll even make a bucket list.

Tell me, what are some of the things you would like to do, see? What are some goals you have for yourself?

Never Eighteen Half Year Birthday Contest!!!!!

First, let me say, it's been a wild ride. Never Eighteen has been selling pretty good, especially here in the Pacific Northwest where the book is set. But I've actually sold copies all over the world.

It started out tricky, as the night of my release party we had a major snow storm, which kept some people away. We also started a little early, so people could get home earlier, of course, this pissed others off. Also, a box of books didn't come in because of the snow. Luckily I had a couple boxes of my own in my car, but we still ran out. There were a couple other snafus, but I told myself, especially after hearing about the snow, it is what it is.

I've done 1 Skype school visit to Illinois, 3 library visits, 6 book store events, 7 interviews (not counting blog interviews), 14 school visits, and many more online events and had fun with every one of them.

I've lost an agent. I've struggled to write a second book. It took me over a year, which is unprecedented for me. I don't have a second book deal, nor do I have any foreign rights sold for Never Eighteen. I've spent just about every dime I have marketing Never Eighteen. Those are the frustrating things about the business.

I've met tons of cool readers, writers, librarians, bookstore owners, teachers. I love those connections so much.

And that's pretty much how my last six months have gone.

Okay, I've figured out the contest. For Never Eighteen's Half birthday I want you to tell me in the comments below, 6 things on your bucket list. I will pick the winner. What will you win? A signed copy of Never Eighteen, a CD of some of the songs on the playlist in the back of the book, and swag. Always swag!!!

photo by Charlie Wolf

Here are some of the things on my bucket list.

1. Take my kids to NYC
2. Go to Australia
3. Apologize to people I need to apologize to and welcome anyone who thinks I've wronged them to step forward and talk to me.
4. Thank all the people in my life you has helped me along the way.
5. Participate in a triathlon
6. Yeah, throw the big party.

Your turn. Six things on your bucket list.

Fragile

I'm feeling de ja vu as I'm pretty sure I've written about life's fragile moments pretty recently.

I have a friend going through a rough time (no doctor, I'm really talking about a friend, I'm not referring to myself). Just another reminder how short life can be and how we should make the best of every single minute we have of it.

Here are a few simple things to make life a little easier.

Spend time with people that make you happy.

Listen to your kids laugh, cheers me up every time.

Take time for yourself, even if it's only a few minutes.

Don't waste time on things that make you crazy.

Simplify and try to stay organized.

Enjoy the scenery.  

These seems like simple instructions to follow, don't they?  The fact of the matter is, they're not.  So many of us speed through life, doing things for everyone but ourselves, missing our kids childhood, making ourselves crazy over clutter and "things".

Slow down.  

 

In the words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

Just something to think about.

Ciao,

Megan

My Bucket List

Yes, it's cliche by now, but those living social things on Facebook made me think about things I want to do/accomplish in my lifetime.



Number one is, of course, to get published. I think my current book, Mending Fences, has a shot. However, it needs a rewrite, which I will probably start on soon. sigh.



Number two, I have always wanted to dye my hair black, and think I will after next pay day. Trying to convince my husband it's just for fun and not to hide the gray has been a difficult task, but seriously, it's true. I've been wanting to do this since my late teens. I'm going to do it.



I would love to go back to Rome. I love Rome, everything about it. The history, the people, the food. I love that I can go to Rome and eat anything I want and not gain any weight because I walk everywhere. I love the fact that there is still a cheese shop that is seperate from the produce shop, seperate from the butcher.



I've always wanted to see Australia.



Meeting the friends I've made in ABNA. I mean for realsies, in the flesh. It's so hard to have these friends, some of the best friends I've ever had, and not be able to have coffee or lunch with them.

To excercise daily and get into the best shape of my life.

Most importantly, to leave my mark, be it as a writer, mother, friend. I want to be remembered, at least for awhile, as someone who made a difference, no matter how small that difference may be.