Curve balls, mistakes and soul sucking teens

Today is definitely a Monday. Yes a Monday.

In the last couple weeks I have had very dramatic ups and downs. I'm not talking speed bumps, I'm talking hills and valleys.  Steep climbs of elation and big drops of disappointments, annoyances, worry and facing things that are unknown.

The good: I've written quite a bit the last couple days and it's felt good.

The ugly: I realized I wasn't going to get my books in time for my release party (apparently there was an oversight on my part at Lightning Source, an approval I thought I'd done, which I hadn't) so I had to pay up the yin yang for expedited shipping.

The good: I went to the Seahawks game yesterday and it was a beautiful day and fun and I had a great time with family and friends.

The ugly: I have an issue with my car (totally  my stupid fault that I'm not going into) that's going to cost me money.

The good: My kids and I, aside from cleaning issues, are great.

The ugly: I was tagged by two teens in another state on Twitter, and when I jokingly said something about them making fun of an old lady, I mean, I am a teen writer, I thought I would try to engage. I was told to "fuck off" by one, then asked if I send nudes by the other. Um, dudes, you tagged me. Sooo, instead of dealing with that any more, I just blocked them.

The good: I finally got a decent amount of sleep last night, and I didn't even care
that I slept through the Walking Dead to get it.

The ugly: Relationships in my life, well, let's just say they're not easy.

My life is chaotic, I get that. Some of it I create, I know this. It's like I can't function without some amount of drama in my life, but some of this crap falls in my lap, unexpectedly.

I know I'm not mother of the year. I know I could be a better all around person. I have too many vices, my schedule is too busy, my house is cluttered, but I try the best I can and I volunteer my time and donate to charitable works. I try not to miss a soccer game or a music gig if I can help it and I always try to help my parents, family and friends out when they need me.

I guess I'm not really asking for anything in return, I already have much. I still have my parents. I have two healthy kids. I get along with my ex. People like my writing (I mean, some people hate it too but more people like it, so there's that). I have good friends, great family, clothes on my back, a roof over my head, a car to drive  (once I get my tire fixed).

I guess this is just one of my ranty venting blogs when I'm stressed out and you are my sounding board.

And those parent's of those boys on Twitter...they should have taught them better manners and to respect their elders. I mean, really...nude pictures...

The Life Chaotic

"I hate busy. I guess it's better than dead." ~ Megan Bostic

Yes, I'm quoting myself. Sue me.

These days it's mostly been the day job, which has somehow trickled into my life. It's because my position as Marketing Coordinator has morphed into something bigger than anyone imagined it ever being I think. I was hired for social media. To post things to Twitter and Facebook and to blog. But social media has transformed into something so big, and my job has also transformed into something more because I've taken it upon myself to learn and grow as a legal marketer, so lately, I've been having to get to work early, and stay there late, and bring it home.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. After all, I get to post crap to Facebook and Twitter. And now Linked In (and I'll eventually get to Pinterest and Tumblr and other sites when I get the time). I get to write articles and edit. I get to be imaginative and create ads like the ones below.

I get to think outside the box these days, like we started a whole new website/blog for the founding partner (who happens to be my dad) and his cat, Maxx.

I get to tinker with our website unless things get messy, like it gets hacked, then I call in the big guns. I can only do so much.

Plus, I'm on our Fun Committee, so I get to plan our office parties, and we have fun ones.

I really do love my work. And the lawyers I work with, I know a lot of people have negative feelings about personal injury attorneys, but really, these guys see seriously injured people. People who have been damaged because someone else was negligent, or careless. They believe in what they do and I believe in them.

Other than the day job trickling in to life, there's also that pesky book I'm trying to publish, one I'm trying to write, a soccer team I'm coaching, a boyfriend I'm entertaining, two teenage girls I'm raising the best I can, a garden, a house, and a body that needs to kickbox or walk a few times a week, and maybe eat on occasion.

On a separate note, Jenny Milchman, who I know through ABNA, and whose debut novel, Cover of Snow came out January of this year, is in my neck of the woods and I get to meet her tonight for the first time. I'm terribly excited.

I started her book ( I hope to finish it before tonight, but it doesn't look good) and so far it's excellent. You should go get it and read it and tell all your friends about it.

Okay, enough about me. How are you doing today? Anything keeping you away from your projects?

Millions of things to do so little time

Pretty sure I forgot to post a monkey this week.

I've not blogged in a couple days because I've been so scattered going this way and that way, I've not been able to focus on one task at a time. Here's what I've needed/wanted to do the last few days.

• Edit a 2k12 video
• Study and play with Adobe Creative Cloud
• Consolidate my bills
• Write book reviews
• Look for some contract work to make some extra money
• Practice my new Photoshop and InDesign skills
• Work on my rewrite
• Work on gathering more agents to query
• Clean my house
• Mow my lawn
• Weed my gardens
• Spray my blackberry bushes
• Pick up the box of books I ordered
• Clean out my inbox
• Probably some other crap I'm not remembering.

Instead of any of those things, this is what I worked on last night:

And just saw someone gave me a dislike!! >:(
Oh well. Chaos isn't for everyone.

Okay, I'm going to try to maybe do one of those things *points above*. Enjoy your Thursday night.

Chaos

I'm making myself crazy again. I feel like I'm spreading myself too thin, but I'm not sure I have anything to show for it. The last week and a half has seemed really crazy.

I finished my rewrite, which was kind of a first draft since I changed direction in the middle, so mostly was just going back and making things consistent.

Last Monday, doctor appointment for Thing Two. Tuesday, music lessons for Thing two. Wednesday, doctor appointment for Thing Two, plus dinner out for her birthday. Friday night soccer game for Thing Two.

Don't get me wrong, Thing One has stuff too, but mostly on the social end. My house is full of teenagers just about every day eating my food, messing up my kitchen and basement, etc.

Saturday was the last of my three release parties which seems superfluous, I know, but was necessary.

Sunday was all day soccer (three games). Monday pick up Thing One from basketball game. Tuesday, coffee meeting and music lesson for Thing Two. Today shopping for bass guitars, doctor appointment, and choir concert all for Thing Two. Tomorrow Writing Celebration at a middle school. Friday coffee meeting to deliver auction items, then soccer game. Saturday book signing and birthday party. Sunday two soccer games.

That's as far as I can think ahead. I miss my driver. I think I may need to spend the money aned hire another one.

And all of the above in the midst of me working the day job, trying to figure out what to write next, trying to finish up guest blog posts, trying to plan talks at above mentioned middle school, plus school visits later in the month. Designing a poster for a group event next month, and keeping up with social media, which for a writer is very important, grocery shopping, keeping house clean, etc. Trying to plan, family vacation, trip to NY, and budgeting my vacation time for all this plus school visits conferences etc.

I'm exhausted again and I miss the sun. sigh.

This is me, just bitching, venting, using you, my readers as a sounding board. Sorry and thank you.

Like a beating drum in my ears...

That line is from one of my poems, but it seemed apropos after I posted as my Facebook status update that I feel like an Eminem song.  Not so much in content, but in style.

Life seems a bit loud lately.  Kind of chaotic, irrational at times.  Sometimes it leaves me thinking what the hell just happened? It's moving so fast I can't keep up.  I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm frustrated, I rage at times.  And I don't know the words to my own life.  The music starts, and I begin singing, and I think I know the words, but then I find myself mouthing them or making shit up as I go along.

I'm hoping that my life as an Eminem song will eventually calm down and morph into...I don't know...maybe something a little more mellow like Beck or Train even. 

Ciao,

Megan

Friday Free For All: What if Jesus was just a lunatic instead of the son of God.

Okay, this may be controversial to some of you, and I'm not saying that's what I believe, but seriously, if someone in this day and age started spouting off about being the next messiah, the son of God himself, he would be committed, right? You know he would. We'd think him insane just like the crazy lady on the bus who talks to herself and slaps her purse, or like the street corner prophet.

So, what if they thought him a lunatic back in the day (okay, I know many DID think this, but what if it were everyone?) It would change religion as we know it. So many people in the world are some form of Christian, be it Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, etc, etc, what would the world be like?

Maybe we would be praising Bob, or Jill, or Fred. Maybe the most popular religion in the world would be based on the earth, or the animals, rainbows, or butterflies. Or perhaps we would worship the giant blazing orb in the sky, praying some day it would find us worthy to absorb us and burn us into ash. There really isn't an answer, is there? Maybe we would have picked up on some of the other religions and pray to Muhammad, or Buddha, or Ra.

What if the majority of us had no religion at all? Would we be living in chaos? Anarchy? After all, laws are created based on what's good and right on the world. What if we didn't have religion to tell us that? Would we still know in our heart how we should live?

I don't know the answers. I'm really not even sure what I believe. I hope there's a higher power. I hope he/she is merciful and forgiving of our simple lack of judgment or innocent errors in life. Maybe even of our larger transgressions if they don't hurt too many.

It gives you something to think about though, doesn't it? Maybe it's time I start listening to the street corner prophets.

And I promised poetry, so here is one I wrote last week.

Heart in shreds
cold autumn nights
tears fall like leaves from a tree.
Sadness.
No fear, no pain
just there clinging
dust on the window.
No reason.
Run your finger through
make sun tracks
impressions of light.
Beaming.
Warm like summer
luminous and radiant
sating hunger.
Love consumed.
Wonder and light
wrought with passion
fire and flame.
Unrelenting.
Like a season
cools by degrees.
Ephemeral.
Pain like death
loss, decay
heart in shreds.
Again.

Kisses :*

Megan

Song of the Week: The High Road by Broken Bells

Movie of the Week: The Invention of Lies, more about the concept than the funny

Book of the Week: The Unwritten Rule, a cute teenage love story by Elizabeth Scott. I should have a review out on it by next week. Fingers crossed.

Quote of the week: "Do what you are afraid to do." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson